Inspired by that shot of the moon last night i went out this morning and tried to capture on photo these dragonflies that have graced my garden this year. I think i will try taking a video next- you really have to see them in action. Weird looking little guy on close up and blown up.
emote (intr.v.) To express emotion in an excessive and theatrical manner.
emotive (adj.) 1. Of or pertaining to emotion. 2. Expressing or exciting emotion.
empathy (n.) 1. identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives. 2. The attribution of one's own feelings to an object.
One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole.
He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it slices into the woods on the side of the fairway.
He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge lump on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him.
"Goodness," says the golfer. then proceeds to revive the poor little guy.
Upon awakening, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun, and I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and walks away.
Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks to himself "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money (so he'll never have to go without a pint of ale), a great golf game, and a great sex life."
A few weeks later the Irishman is out golfing again. As he's walking to the 16th green, he hears a voice calling him from the woods.
He walks over, and sees the leprechaun again. He asks how his head is feeling. The leprechaun says, "Oh, I'm fine. And might I ask how your golf game is?"
The golfer says, "It's funny you should ask, but it's been amazing. It seems I can't miss anymore!"
"I did that for you," responds the leprechaun, "And might I ask how your money is holding out?"
"Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a twenty dollar bill" he replied.
The leprechaun smiles and says, "I did that for you,too. And might I ask how your love life is?"
Now the golfer looks around, as if to be sure that no one else can hear, and says in a low voice, "Well, it's been okay."
"Just okay?" the leprechaun asks. "How often do you have sex?"
"Oh, maybe once or twice a week."
Floored, the leprechaun stammers, "Only once or twice a week?"
The golfer replies, "Well, that's really quite a lot for a Catholic priest in a small parish."
Now I want one!!
Subject: FW: FW: WHY AM I MARRIED?
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were > dead.>> At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,> "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.">>>
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:> "Husband Wanted".> Next day she received a hundred letters.> They all said the same thing:> "You can have mine.">>>
When a woman steals your> husband,> there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished>>>
A little boy asked his father,> "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"> Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.">>>
A young son asked,> "Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa> a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"> Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
>>> Then there was a woman who said,> "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,> and by then, it was too late.">>
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.>>>>
If you want your spouse to listen and> pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your> sleep.>>
Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking > they had no faults at all.>>>
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"> Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive.">>
"A Woman's Prayer:> Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive> him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength> I'll just beat him to death ">>
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!>>> Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A > blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find > it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the> bus.>> So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the > husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he > taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of > rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.">> The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR > stick, we'd be riding the bus so shut the hell up.">
(a la my hero- Keith Olbermann from MSNBC) today's patient, Mr. Nastyman. I called him in, not blind to the fact that he was a grumpy ole man but managing to get through stage 1 of the exam -the history-taking without incident. However in the middle of stage 2 (testing vision) he kinda freaked out at me. I had committed the awful sin of telling him to take off his distance glasses to read the near card. He huffed and he puffed; then i asked him to hold the card like a book and that i had the occluder (that blocks one eye at a time) and that is when he "Blew" and yelled, " Balls, Woman!". I was so taken aback and knew i couldn't handle him (win him over to my side) because I was so angry, so i excused myself and left the room. I was going to ask a co-worker, an old pro who i was confident could take over for me; but he was already heading into a room with a patient; before i could go on to Plan B ( not that i even had time to formulate a Plan B) Mr. Nastyman stormed out of the room and into the waiting room where he told his wife "C'mon we're leaving" - something to that effect as told by the secretaries later; and to which she said but don't you have to wait to see the Dr. and to which he growled " I said, Let's go".
I could only imagine and have empathy for this poor woman who must hear "Balls Woman" or worse at least 10 times a day!
I then went to the office Mgr. to ask what i should do with the chart and about documenting this; she told me to ask the doctor, so i caught him coming out of an exam room and told him of the incident. His first response to hearing "Balls/Woman" was "what does that mean?" shaking his head as one of his aides explained that he said this to me and had left; to which he then said, "well good, good riddance". Then coming to his senses he told me to document "just what happened" and to leave the chart and he would dictate a letter to the patient stating that he needed to follow up on his eye care.
So I did just as I was instructed and wrote: When asked to remove his glasses and read from the Near card the patient responded, "Balls Woman".
Well for the rest of the morning this phrase was repeated often and might be the new office mantra - til tomorrow's worst patient walks through the door that is.
I think it's time to retire- don't i wish!
Subj: When I say I'm broke
WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE - I'M BROKE
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
co nfronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of
minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in
high-powered vacuum cleaners . '
'Go away!' said the old la dy. 'I'm broke and haven't got any
money!' and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and
pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at
least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse
manure onto her hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove
all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally
eat the remainder.'
The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork,
'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.'