Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?'She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?'She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.'She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.' They then parted ways.Some years later they met again.The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan , how are ye these days?'She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!'The Father asked, 'And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?'She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!'The Father said, 'That's wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?'She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle.'
(ok, let's finish the DOTW(days of the week) attempt to blog; let's see, we can do Manic monday (work tales), Haiku Tuesday, Wacky Wednesday(save/deleted drafts), Trivia(l) Thursday, Joke Friday, Photohunter Sat. and Sunday Sampler(Inspirational and Blog pick of the week.) Below a saved draft that i should delete.)
In lieu of an explanation: I used to blog more; i blog in my head often("bloggin in my head" as my friend Mare and I laugh about.) In the summertime the living is... well not easy but busy-gardening and building projects takin up my time and my mind. So much for thinking blogging a winter sport, I'm still not blogging much. Have I lost my groove - writing those damn furniture ads?
25 TIPS FOR A BETTER LIFE - 2009
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, and almonds.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9 Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, wi ll this matter?'
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals everything.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. Please Forward this to every one you care about.
(At the risk of turning my blog into a set of those "Days of the week" underwear (You know Joke Friday/Photohunt Sat.)- I am starting a new Sun. post. Since i have a file of Inspirational quotes I am going to start sharing them here. I'm also going to start a Blog pick of the week because I remember early on with this blogging thing a fellow blogger(FTS-Follow that star) did that every Sunday - he picked a "Rising Star" and he even picked me once:)
So without further ado........ (In true Oscar style....... ..my blog pick of the week is.......... ........Lorna in Wonderland - go visit!
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.
He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a
few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth.
He tries this a few more times with no success.
All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do
everything, she opens the window and yells to her husband,
"You need a piece of tail."
The man turns with a confused look on his face and says,
"Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."
During the service, the pastor asked if anyone would like to express
praise for prayers which had been answered. A lady stood up and came
She said, 'I have a reason to thank the Lord. Two months ago, my
husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was
completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't
know if they could help him.
You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they
imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.
She continued, 'Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move
caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate
operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of
Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.'
Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they
imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.
She continued, 'Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say,
with time, his scrotum should recover completely.'
All the men sighed with relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to
A man rose and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Jim and I
would like to tell my wife, the word is 'sternum.' "
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO
paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful
hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.
When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared
carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a
score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an
error in the grade."
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly,
which was worth 50% of the total mark.
"You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50%
of the mark."
After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you
did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire