Joke Friday

I THINK I UNDERSTAND THIS ELECTION A LITTLE BETTER NOW
I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....
* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, it's a quintessential American story.
* If your name is Barack, you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.
* Graduate from Harvard Law School and you are unstable.* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.
* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Se nate r epresenting a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on t he city council, and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people (the same population as the city of San Francisco), then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.
* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a true Christian.
* If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.
* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.* If you're husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25, and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.
OK, it's all much clearer now.....

Photo hunter

This weeks theme: Wild




This was my wild Maine Coon cat, Dakota. These pics were takin in his last year. I'm experimenting here with writing with my photohunter pic and seem to have gone a little crazy with the links but then i never did get any pictures up for this post.

Joke Friday

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see" Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars" "What does that tell you?" enquired Holmes. Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful clear day tomorrow. What does it tell YOU?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot, some bastard has stolen our tent"

9/11/2001

They Failed Miserably

by Kevin Caruso

Though they plot evil against you
and devise wicked schemes,
they cannot succeed.
(Psalm 21:11)

And the terrorists did not succeed.

They failed miserably.

Instead of dividing America,
they unified America.

Instead of destroying our spirit,
they strengenthed our spirit.

Instead of moving us away from God,
they moved us closer to God;
and strenthened our faith.

The evil cowards who attacked us failed miserably...
in every way.

And while our 911 angels are in Heaven,
the satanic terrorists burn in hell for eternity.

They failed miserably.

Photohunter

This weeks theme: String(s)

Joke Friday

Subject: Women are evil by nature

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.

She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.

She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.

As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both
hands.

"Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said -- running
her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender -- "Is there anything I can
do?"

"Yes. I need for you to give him a message" -- she continued, running
her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of
her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.

"Tell him," she whispered "There's no toilet paper, hand soap or paper
towels in the ladies room."

Joke Friday

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles.
They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.
Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.
'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.
The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the way you do.'
A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick.
'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen.
'Why?' he asks. 'What's the matter?'
'Well,' she replies, 'it's just not long enough to reach me!'
'No problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long.
'Well,' she says, 'that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow.'
'No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
'Wow!' she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate ways. As they walked along, Mike asks, 'Well, was it any good?'
'I hate to say it,' says Maureen, 'but it was wonderful. How about you?'
'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got was a headache . She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.'

Photohunter

This weeks theme: Wrinkled

(Thanks to Castleruins for jogging my memory as I didn't think i had an entry for this week - tho his/hers is much better.)

Joke Friday

(reposting here - need some new material - but this is one of my favs.)

Joke of the Day - A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how is manifests itself:

I decide to wash my car. As I start toward to the garage, I notice
that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the
mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash
can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the
trash first, but then I think that since I’m going to be near the
mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table and see that there is only one check
left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, o I go to my
desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. I’m going
to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I
don’t accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the
refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the
counter catches my eye–they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter and I discover my reading
glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I’d better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to
water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water,
and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight, when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for
the remote, but nobody will remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so
I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll
water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up
the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day; the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren’t
watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook,

I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember
what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really
baffled because I know I was busy all day long and I’m really tired. I
realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it,
but first I’ll check my e-mail.

Photohunter

This weeks theme: colorful

Joke Friday

Childbirth at 65

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old
friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the
hospital and went home, I went to visit.
'May I see the new baby?' I asked
'Not yet,' she said, 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while
first.'
Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'
'No, not yet,' She said.
After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'
'No, not yet,' replied my friend.
Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.

'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'

'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!'

The Shore

travelogue in progress

Photohunter

This weeks theme: Dark

Joke Friday

Where Paris gives it back to McCain

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Vignette

Photohunter

This weeks theme: Clouds



Just catching up here. I had to hunt for this one just taken this Memorial Day Weekend. I usually see spectacular cloud/sky shots when I don't have my camera!

I just realized that I cheated - i used this for the July 5th Pointed theme!

Photohunter

This weeks theme: hanging

Joke Friday

Subject: Interview


A major International company was looking to recruit for an important
position, so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their
search down to three people.

In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same
question to answer within 24 hours, and the one with the best answer would
get the job.

The question was:
A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with
her back facing the man, and the man is lying on his side facing the
woman's back.

What is the man's name?


After the 24 hours was up, the three were brought in to give their
answers.

The first, from England , says 'My answer is, there is no answer.'

The second, from Scotland , says 'My answer is that there is no way to
determine the answer with the information we were given.'

The third one, from Ireland , says 'I'm not exactly sure, but I have it
narrowed down to two names. It's either:


Scroll down for the answer, or stop, and try to work it out.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>


Willie Turner or Willie Naylor.'



The Irishman got the job...

Dragonflies

Inspired by that shot of the moon last night i went out this morning and tried to capture on photo these dragonflies that have graced my garden this year. I think i will try taking a video next- you really have to see them in action. Weird looking little guy on close up and blown up.

Emotive

emote (intr.v.) To express emotion in an excessive and theatrical manner.
emotive (adj.) 1. Of or pertaining to emotion. 2. Expressing or exciting emotion.
empathy (n.) 1. identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives. 2. The attribution of one's own feelings to an object.

Photohunter

This weeks theme: What is that?

Joke Friday

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole.
He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it slices into the woods on the side of the fairway.
He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge lump on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him.

"Goodness," says the golfer. then proceeds to revive the poor little guy.
Upon awakening, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun, and I will grant you three wishes."

The man says "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and walks away.
Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks to himself "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money (so he'll never have to go without a pint of ale), a great golf game, and a great sex life."

A few weeks later the Irishman is out golfing again. As he's walking to the 16th green, he hears a voice calling him from the woods.

He walks over, and sees the leprechaun again. He asks how his head is feeling. The leprechaun says, "Oh, I'm fine. And might I ask how your golf game is?"

The golfer says, "It's funny you should ask, but it's been amazing. It seems I can't miss anymore!"
"I did that for you," responds the leprechaun, "And might I ask how your money is holding out?"
"Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a twenty dollar bill" he replied.
The leprechaun smiles and says, "I did that for you,too. And might I ask how your love life is?"
Now the golfer looks around, as if to be sure that no one else can hear, and says in a low voice, "Well, it's been okay."

"Just okay?" the leprechaun asks. "How often do you have sex?"
"Oh, maybe once or twice a week."
Floored, the leprechaun stammers, "Only once or twice a week?"
The golfer replies, "Well, that's really quite a lot for a Catholic priest in a small parish."

Too Cute!!!

Now I want one!!

Photohunter

This weeks theme: support

Joke Friday

Subject: FW: FW: WHY AM I MARRIED?


You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were > dead.>> At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,> "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.">>>

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:> "Husband Wanted".> Next day she received a hundred letters.> They all said the same thing:> "You can have mine.">>>

When a woman steals your> husband,> there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished>>>
A little boy asked his father,> "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"> Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.">>>
A young son asked,> "Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa> a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"> Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

>>> Then there was a woman who said,> "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,> and by then, it was too late.">>

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.>>>>

If you want your spouse to listen and> pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your> sleep.>>

Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking > they had no faults at all.>>>

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"> Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive.">>

"A Woman's Prayer:> Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive> him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength> I'll just beat him to death ">>

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!>>> Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A > blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find > it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the> bus.>> So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the > husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he > taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of > rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.">> The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR > stick, we'd be riding the bus so shut the hell up.">

The worst patient in the world....

(a la my hero- Keith Olbermann from MSNBC) today's patient, Mr. Nastyman. I called him in, not blind to the fact that he was a grumpy ole man but managing to get through stage 1 of the exam -the history-taking without incident. However in the middle of stage 2 (testing vision) he kinda freaked out at me. I had committed the awful sin of telling him to take off his distance glasses to read the near card. He huffed and he puffed; then i asked him to hold the card like a book and that i had the occluder (that blocks one eye at a time) and that is when he "Blew" and yelled, " Balls, Woman!". I was so taken aback and knew i couldn't handle him (win him over to my side) because I was so angry, so i excused myself and left the room. I was going to ask a co-worker, an old pro who i was confident could take over for me; but he was already heading into a room with a patient; before i could go on to Plan B ( not that i even had time to formulate a Plan B) Mr. Nastyman stormed out of the room and into the waiting room where he told his wife "C'mon we're leaving" - something to that effect as told by the secretaries later; and to which she said but don't you have to wait to see the Dr. and to which he growled " I said, Let's go".
I could only imagine and have empathy for this poor woman who must hear "Balls Woman" or worse at least 10 times a day!
I then went to the office Mgr. to ask what i should do with the chart and about documenting this; she told me to ask the doctor, so i caught him coming out of an exam room and told him of the incident. His first response to hearing "Balls/Woman" was "what does that mean?" shaking his head as one of his aides explained that he said this to me and had left; to which he then said, "well good, good riddance". Then coming to his senses he told me to document "just what happened" and to leave the chart and he would dictate a letter to the patient stating that he needed to follow up on his eye care.
So I did just as I was instructed and wrote: When asked to remove his glasses and read from the Near card the patient responded, "Balls Woman".
Well for the rest of the morning this phrase was repeated often and might be the new office mantra - til tomorrow's worst patient walks through the door that is.
I think it's time to retire- don't i wish!

Photohunter

This weeks theme: pointed

Joke Friday

Subj: When I say I'm broke


WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE - I'M BROKE

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
co nfronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of
minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in
high-powered vacuum cleaners . '

'Go away!' said the old la dy. 'I'm broke and haven't got any
money!' and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and
pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at
least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse
manure onto her hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove
all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally
eat the remainder.'

The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork,
'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.'

Phothunter

This weeks theme: Bright

Joke Friday

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it." "Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you are really cute!"

Photohunter

This weeks theme: Water

Joke Friday

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $20000 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"


"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day

Photohunter

This weeks theme: Emotion

Joke Friday

DON'T MESS WITH THE LIE DETECTOR

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school over 2 hours late.

'Why are you so late getting home?' asked John.

'Several of us went to the library to work on an project,' said Tommy.
The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy,knocking him completely out of his chair.

'Son,' said John, 'this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school.'

'We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie.' said Tommy.
What did you watch?' asked Marsha.

'The Ten Commandments.' answered Tommy.
The robot went around and slapped him, knocking him off his chair again.

With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said,
'I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.

'I am ashamed of you son,' said John. 'When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.' The robot then walked around to John and delivered a resounding whack!

Marsha doubled over laughing; almost in tears and said, 'Boy, did you
ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy.
After all, he is your son!'

With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair......

Joke Friday

Subject: Nursing Home sex

Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home. Every night after dinner,

Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Centre to sit and ponder his

Accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to

Chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull

In their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, 'Do you know what

I miss most of all?'

She asks, 'What?'

'Sex!!' he replies.

Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun
to your head!'

'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hol d it
for a while.'

Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his
manhood and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they
would sit

And talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed,
Mildred

Decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She walked around the
Senior

Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another
female resident,

Who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I
don't have?'

Old Harold smiled happily and replied..... ..'Parkinson's.'

Yes We Can!!!!!!!!!!!

CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN!!!!!!!!

For us dog lovers

I wish i knew how to get the video on here but here is the link.

http://www.koreus.com/video/chien-danseur.html

Joke Friday

Subject: Fwd: ARE YOU A BITCH?

Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about
their professions. The first guy says "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know...Young,
Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist"

The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K, you know....Double Income, No Kids."

The third guy says,"I'm a R.U.B., you know...Rich, Urban, Biker."

They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you?" She replies: "I'm a WIFE, you now....Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

A second gal answers their question before they even ask it: "BITCH."
"What exactly is a BITCH?!?", they ask in unison.
"Babe In Total Control of Herself."
So ladies, next time somebody calls you "Bitch"

-SMILE...and say "Thank You!!"

Once

Love this video/song!!

Joke Friday

A couple had been married for 25 years and also celebrated their
60th birthdays. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that
because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would
give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her
wand and boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly,
"Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand and boom!!....
He was 90.

Excuses, excuses

Yet more excuses for not blogging/posting/commenting lately:

Endless yard work
Dirty house
Baseball
Driving kids to the mall(movies)
Deck dilemma(old one falling down/design dilemma/material dilemma/$$$dilemma
+ need new bulkhead and to fix grading problem.
Making call for Obama
Obsession with MSNBC and the Democratic Campaign - (c'mon Hillary give it up- let's get on with it!)
Depression trying to rear it's ugly head and winning i think.
Getting ready(but not doing anything to get ready) to go to Washington DC on Friday
Trying to make plans for summer vacation but not getting anywhere with that
And last but not least down to one ailing computer - the kid broke the laptop (yup dropped it off his lap - well chair actually but it was on his lap before he put it on the chair).
This one here is 6 or 7 years old and is on it's 3rd life- having crashed 2 hard drives. Last nite one of the bright blue screens with white writing that spell doom & gloom appeared and luckily i am still here today.
Hopefully i will be back someday soon.

Joke Friday

(Tis the season!)

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Yankees fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankees fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl. The
teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise
your hand?" "Because I'm not a Yankees fan," she replied. The teacher, still
shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then who are you a fan
of? "I am a Red Sox fan, and proud of it," Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, please tell the class why
you are a Red Sox fan?" "Because my Mom is a Red Sox fan, and my dad is a Red Sox fan, so I'm a Red Sox fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in an
obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Red Sox fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your Mom were a moron and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?" "Then," Janie smiled,
"I'd be a Yankees fan."

This weeks theme: Anything goes



One of my favs - taken from a boat in my local waters. I have this on my computer as my screen saver.

Joke Friday

Subject: 7th degree blondes

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirrorand says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, .. I know 'em all.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy it's W.'

FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'

SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class.
The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer app roach ed the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of th e cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'

Go Barack!!! Obama '08!!!

Joke Friday

(My name is RDL and I Do Not endorse this joke - i just thought it was funny.)

Subject: What Ireland thinks

"We in Ireland cannot figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election.

On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer(disbarred), and a lawyer who is married to a bitch who is a lawyer.

On the other side, you have a true war hero married to a woman with a huge chest who owns a beer distributorship.

Where the hell's the contest here?"

CHANGE!!!!

Yes! Enof of the mud slinging, and having to defend himself against the remarks of others. Let's get on with this election! The Democrats have to bring this to a close - and he's our man. I seriously cannot take another 4 years of this war and economy!! And after Hillary's stupid comment about obliterating Iran, I don't want her answering the phone at 2AM.

Zachor

YOM HA-SHOAH
HOLOCAUST MEMORIAL DAY


ZACHOR
"Remember"

Photohunter

This weeks theme: Unique/funny signs



For those of you not familiar with this sign - it is a landmark in Boston. I took it from my car while driving - well while stopped at a light.

Joke Friday

A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my
side of the family and your father told you about his.'

Reasons

Why I haven't blogged/posted lately:

Stuck
Massive amount of yard work
poison ivy ( note to self - Spray!!)
Massive amount of yard work
burning, clearing, raking, mulching
Conflict
letter writing, emails
School vacation (went to Blue Man Group in Boston)
Worrying about the presidential election (Barack)
Watching poll results
Worrying about the election
Spring cleaning
Went to the beach
Stuck

Joke Friday

An older man had met a younger woman, but unfortunately he was unable to last
very long before he would orgasm during sex. A caring man, he was concerned
that he was disappointing his new lover, so he called his doctor for advice.
The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do
it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized
his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of
the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.

Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.
As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants.
Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"
He heard, "This is the police. What the hell are you doing?"

The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."
The cop says, "Well, you better check your brakes too, because your truck
rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago.

Change we can believe in...

Words

by will.i.am:

people say Obama's words are just words...
but...
when was the last time "words" weren't important...???...
when was the last time a great leader didn't use words to lead...??...
when was the last time a person didn't use words to describe how they felt...?...
when was the last time "words" weren't empowering...?...
and we can all recall the last time "words" were used to divide us and install fear...
Bush used words to fear us into voting for him the second time around...
terror this...
terror that...
nuclear here...
weapons of mass destruction there...
and those words effected a lot of people's choices...
"enough is enough"...
let's rebuild...
let's change ourselves...
let's allow positivity to guide us...
let's take action....
let's activate our passion...
we are Americans....
and this is the first time in forever that someone running for president represents "US"...
some say this is all excitement...
I call it "proud to be an American"...
some say this whole Obama movement is "cult like"...
well...
if it comes across cult like...
then...
the cult is called America...
the Obama movement is connecting America.
and it has made "US" realize our importance...
the youth is excited and activated...
adults are passionate and motivated...
the elderly are proud to know the country they built is in safe hands...
we are one...
for too long politics has been corrupt...
separate from the American people...
with agendas that go against what the American people "need"...
education...
health...
safety...
jobs
etc...
politicians have spoken a different language...
making it so the youth and poor people feel as if voting was only for the wealthy and old people...
making "US" feel as if "we" had no voice...
making "US" feel powerless...
making it feel like if "we" did vote it wouldn't change anything...
but wait...
that did happen...
some of us voted, and it didn't change anything...
we were in the dark...
we had no voice...
we were powerless...
because America was not a united America...
and "they" spoke a different language...
and they had an agenda different from our well being...
correct me if I'm wrong... or speak up if I'm missing something...
we want education, health, safety, and good jobs...right???...
oh yeah...
and "a healthy planet to live on"...
but here we are...
in a war... poor education... poor health programs... the dollar is down... the planet, polluted...
the rich, richer... and the poor, struggling...
with sky high gas prices to top it all off...
and now even the rich aren't really rich internationally because our dollar is has fallen so far down...
in our slumber... a very small few got really rich...
because when you're sleeping...
"it's hard to change agendas"...
we know what happened in 2000 and 2004...
but in 2008...
it's different...
we are awake...
and there is a movement...
and "it's hard to change a movement"...
last time "we" didn't have a movement...
America wasn't united...
and now "United and "Standing"...for something...
we know the power of "US"...
and we have a person who represents the "U.S."...
"US"...
"we are the ones we've been waiting for"...
I'm proud to be an American...
will.i.am

Joke Friday

A rich white guy in Georgia decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the token black guy in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with the women.

At the height of the party, the rich white dude said, "I have a 10ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in."The words were barely out of the rich white dude's mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!
Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of shit like head butts and chokeholds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Japanese Judo Instructor. The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it sink to the bottom like a K-Mart gold fish.
Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. Finally the rich white guy says, "Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars." No, that's okay. I don't want it.", said Leroy. The rich white dude said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?" "No thanks. I don't want it.", answered Leroy. The white dude said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options ?" The brother said no The confused rich white guy said, "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?"

Leroy said, "I want the name of the muthafucka who pushed me in the pool!"

Cathartic

cathartic, adjective
1. emotionally purging
2. emotionally purging (of e.g. art)
3. strongly laxative

Cathartic

Dras"tic\, Acting rapidly and violently; efficacious; powerful; -- opposed to bland; as, drastic purgatives. --

1. Having a tendency to loosen or relax. --Milton.

Ca·thar·sis –noun, 1. the purging of the emotions or relieving of emotional tensions, esp. through certain kinds of art, as tragedy or music.
2. Medicine/Medical. purgation.
3. Psychiatry. a. psychotherapy that encourages or permits the discharge of pent-up, socially unacceptable affects.
b. discharge of pent-up emotions so as to result in the alleviation of symptoms or the permanent relief of the condition.

A purifying or figurative cleansing of the emotions, especially pity and fear, described by Aristotle as an effect of tragic drama on its audience.
A release of emotional tension, as after an overwhelming experience, that restores or refreshes the spirit.
Psychology
A technique used to relieve tension and anxiety by bringing repressed feelings and fears to consciousness.
The therapeutic result of this process; abreaction.

noun
1. (psychoanalysis) purging of emotional tensions

An experience of emotional release and purification, often inspired by or through art. In psychoanalysis, catharsis is the release of tension and anxiety that results from bringing repressed feelings and memories into consciousness.

Purgation.
A psychological technique used to relieve tension and anxiety by bringing repressed feelings and fears to consciousness.
The therapeutic result of this process; abreaction.

ab·re·ac·tion Audio Help /ˌæbriˈækʃən/ –noun Psychoanalysis. release of emotional tension achieved through recalling a repressed traumatic experience.

tr.v. ab·re·act·ed, ab·re·act·ing, ab·re·acts
To release (repressed emotions) by acting out, as in words, behavior, or the imagination, the situation causing the conflict.

ab're·ac'tion n.

noun
(psychoanalysis) purging of emotional tensions [syn: catharsis]

Function: noun
: the expression and emotional discharge of unconscious material (as a repressed idea or emotion) by verbalization especially in the presence of a therapist —compare CATHARSIS 2 —ab·re·act /-'akt/ verb

Photohunter

This weeks theme: Glass

Joke Friday

Bus Crash

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck,and everyone inside dies.They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each,before they enter Paradise.They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wishis."I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and itis done.The second one in line hears this and says "I want to begorgeous too.Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeousbut when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the linestarts laughing.When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on thefloor, laughing his head off.Finally, God reaches the last guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy eventually calms down and says:
"Make 'em all ugly again".
SO THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE 'LAST IN LINE'...BE HAPPY!

More good news....!!

(got this in my email today! i never even got around to post the bad news about this poor woman and Walmart) One for the little guys!! Yeah!!

After years of hounding Debbie Shank and her family, Wal-Mart says it will finally do the right thing.
Today, Wal-Mart agreed to allow the Shank family to keep the money they won from the trucking company responsible for Debbie's injuries.
Finally, the Shank family can put their fight with Wal-Mart behind them and focus on taking care of Debbie.
This was all possible thanks to the tremendous support from people like you.
Jim Shank released the following statement today thanking you and the rest of Debbie's supporters:
"I am grateful that Wal-Mart has seen their error and decided to rectify it. I just wish it hadn't taken them so long, this never should have happened. I sincerely hope no other family ever has to go through this.
"My thanks go first and foremost to my lord and savior Jesus Christ for the strength to bear up under all this. Thanks also to the citizens of the United States - it wasn't me who made this happen, it was the outcry of the people, and if there's a lesson in this story it's that 'we the people' still means something."
You showed Wal-Mart that we will not sit back while the retail giant takes advantage of a working family in need.
And Wal-Mart showed that it will never do the right thing unless we stand up, express our outrage, and force it to make the moral choice. That's why we need to continue to pressure Wal-Mart to do right by its 1.3 million American employees on issues like health care, discrimination, and working conditions.
For the Shank family, this is a bittersweet victory. Debbie's injuries will last a lifetime, and the emotional toll of this ordeal won't go away easily. But now they have one less obstacle to overcome -- and you helped make that happen.
On behalf of the Shank family and all of us at Wal-Mart Watch, thank you for your support.
Sincerely,
David NassarWal-Mart Watch
Paid for by WalmartWatch.com, a campaign of Five Stones and The Center for Community and Corporate Ethics
To unsubscribe: http://action.walmartwatch.com/unsubscribe

WooHoo!!!!!!

My Biopsy was Benign! Yippee I get to live!! Now I better make something of myself and my time here me thinks.

We will return to regular programming momentarily.... in the meantime do not adjust your dials.

oh ye of little faith

I was skeptical about this test(see post below) ( because i felt i could've answered some the questions differently(at different times) or both ways. So i took it again and yup it came out the same. Tho evidently this is just a maybe since you would have to take the Real Test to know for sure - for a small fee of course.
Actually I'm good with this assessment - if only i'd taken it years ago.
I've highlighted what i definitely agreed with. Interesting stuff, now go take yours and report back.

ENFP

Here are some interesting facts about ENFP personality types. If you'd like to find out if you're this type, you can take the genuine Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® online now by clicking on the image to the left. You can take different versions of the test, including the expanded Step II with the 20 subscales. Look at the sample reports before you decide.

3rd most frequent among education majors in college.

In national sample "Leisure Activities," overrepresented in "Writing," "Appreciating art," "Playing musical instrument," "Listening to music," "Reading"; underrepresented in "Watching TV for leisure" and "Watching TV 3 or more hours per day."

Academic subjects preferred: art, English, music.

In national sample, lowest of all types in liking work environments where "Everything is done by the book"; 1 of 3 highest types in liking "Independence & achievement," "Teamwork," and "People from different backgrounds."

Most important feature on an ideal job: creativity and originality.

In national sample, dissatisfied with "Promotions" and "Salary"; satisfied with "People I work with" in their jobs.

With ESTJs, had highest total coping resources of all the types.

Ranked 1st of all 16 types in using social and emotional coping resources and 2nd in using cognitive resources.

In national sample, ranked lowest in coping with stress by "Developing physical symptoms."

MyPersonality.info Badge

Photohunter

This weeks theme: high

Wish i was there in the first picture. The view of the pool in Florida from high above on the balcony of our room. However you will not get me up in the elevator inside of that second picture that drops from high up!

Joke Friday

Subject: Irish Humor

IRISH PROSTITUTE

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cussed her.

“Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?”

The girl, crying, replied, “Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a prostitute...”

“Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to this Catholic family.”

“OK, Dad—as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside plus a membership to the country club........................ (takes a breath)............. and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... ...”

“Now what was it ye said ye had become?” says Dad.

Girl, crying again, “Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.”

“Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug.”

Mama never said ....

I went in today for what i thought was a "routine" test. It was for an ultrasound of my breast. I've been down this road before - being the lucky recipient of "dense" breasts ( not dumb/ thick? never mind) and also bearing a family history of breast cancer in my mother.

I've had 3 surgical biopsies - all benign thank g-d and 1 needle aspiration.
A few weeks ago i had my first breast MRI - now that was an experience - i thought for sure a man invented this machine, but i was told differently.
It was actually more comfortable than having a mammogram. But it surpassed the ridiculousness quota - instead of having your boobs smashed between two plates of Plexiglas while standing, you got to crawl up on this stretcher and lay on your belly with your boobs suspended in air through 2 holes in the table. then they push you into the machine and it makes alot of noise and then they inject some dye and it makes some more noise - no big deal.

But then i got the call to come in for an ultrasound and i thought "you got to be kidding me - i thought the MRI would trump an ultrasound any day; but evidently the MRI picks up on the "something" and then the Ultra/ultrasound goes and pinpoints it. That's where the trouble began - the very nice tech tells me she's "just going to get the Radiologist to look at it, "do i want a magazine?". No thanks, I'll just dwell on some other problems for awhile.

So in she comes,takes a look and tells me that there are these two areas of ?? a mass as in not a cyst that need to be biopsied and that they can do it right now. I shakily agree and the next thing i know this hypodermic of Novocaine is comin at me as i ask are they sure they don't have any Valium around here? I happen to glance at the clock - it's 2 o'clock - damn i forgot i'm supposed to pick up my son at his drum lesson at 2:30. They tell me the procedure won't be long and i know he's safe hanging outside the school waiting for me ( like i haven't been late before).
When it's over i call him and tell him to walk up to the library to wait for me, cause they're not through with me yet and i'm about 40 min. away.

I go out to the waiting area with my ice pack to sit with the other ladies in their johnny's. (someone definitely needs to redesign these babies ( how bout some velcro?)
Next they do a mammogram to check on these ? markers they left in there ( i wonder if i'm going to go off the next time i fly?) i guess they're for "in case" they have to go back in, find and take out what they biopsied.
I think i'm giving too much information here - too clinical. I better go look for the Tylenol.
Mama never said there'd be days like this. Poor mama.

Haiku Wednesday

awake in the dark
alone but for the black dog
sleeping at my feet


(Happy Birthday Dad - he would've been 94 today)

Happy Easter!!

Peep Show



Happy Eastover!

Joke Friday

As you may have heard the Bush Administration said each and every one of us
would now get a nice rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the
money will go to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs
�If we spend it on fruit and vegetables it will all go to Mexico, Honduras,
and Guatemala.
If we purchase a good car it will all go to Japan.
If we purchase useless crap it will all go to Taiwan and none of it will
help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America, so the only way to keep that
money here at home is to buy prostitutes and beer, since those are the only
businesses still in the US.

My name is Elliot Spitzer and I approved this ad...

I'm done...

headin to bed for a pre-dinner nap; it's cold, it's dreary, it's New England - it's Spring. I worked this morning then came home to meet the taxman. So I am not doing another thing except go get some takeout for dinner. I think i better start back on the Prozac; I am really getting tired of my bad mood. Wow, i think i've sunk to a new low - i just answered a survey on the phone - she sounded nice.
How bout you all, how's your day going?

Barack Obama - Yes!

I will warn you this video is really long, but really worth it - if you believe; if you believe in hope, in change, in a future for this country and our children and hopefully the world.

Blue Hyacinth and red jello

Well the highlight of my day was visiting my best friend in the hospital. For the few hours that i spent with her I felt like this is just where i belong; unlike when i returned home. I left home still angry with my step-daughter for her disturbing/disruptive ways. Since i am in a between reading a novel stage, and since i thought i need a book to distract me from my thoughts i brought along "Plan B- Further thoughts on Faith" by Annie Lamott - i love her! She was just the ticket - i am really glad that i went back home and got the book, when i realized that i had forgot it in my haste to get out of the house (of dread & gloom). Funny thing happened tho - after stopping at the store to pick up a plant - a blue & pink & white hyacinth ( i thought since she can't eat, she can feast her eyes and smell the wonderful scent.) When i parked the car in the garage to get on the "T"(subway) into Boston, i was juggling my purse, book, water and plant I dropped the book and bent to pick it up just as a car was turning the corner. I thought to myself - hmmph is this Plan B - put me out of my misery right here in this parking garage?
But i did make the right choice of reading material for my ride - just what the doctor ordered - some pearls of wisdom that seemed to be talking right to me.

When I got to Boston and to the hospital, i smiled as i remembered my old neighborhood, stomping grounds, and place of employment. I got on the elevator with a group of 4 Black young men - smelling faintly of marijuana - i wondered if maybe i could get a contact high and if some of their mellowness might rub off on me.

When i reached my friend's room she was asleep and looked a little pale and frail in that hospital bed. I was glad when she opened her beautiful blue eyes and after some conversation i saw some color come back into her cheeks.
My dear, wonderful friend, i hated seeing her in that bed but know that she is now on the mend and will soon again amaze us with her words, wisdom and wonderful way.
As i said as i left her side, "I love you."
Oh and thanks for the red jello ( and the memories).

Joke Friday

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called for him? The drunk is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool and staggers out the front door. A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the SIDE door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over and, still politely - but more firmly, refuses service to the man due to his inebriation, and again offers to call a cab. The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head. A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits and belligerently orders a drink. The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately. The surprised drunk looks at the bartender, and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"

Situation

Ok we've got a situation here( who can tell me what show (?hill street blues?) that is from? or is it my imagination?
Ok so here it is. I had a situation to begin with. any longtime readers of this blog might be aware of this. Ok so here it is, I've been married for 15 years and unhappily for most of them.

Fast forward to Xmas this year when my 20 yr. old step-daughter decides to move in here. She flunked out of college after a year, came back home (to her mother's- in the next town) and started working and attending college locally. Let's just say that didn't work out too well either. A few weeks before xmas she arrives here.

Things are a little (to put it mildly) difficult but we all persevere. She still is not working but has a job waitressing ( which her father pulled strings to get for her) starting soon.
Ok so now fast forward to my sons Video Ipod going missing/lost/stolen??? he got it last yr. for his 13th birthday with his money. Ok this kid loses everything (hats/jackets, etc.) so i interrogate him: did u take it out of the house? did one of yr. friends borrow it. he swears he last saw/left it in the sun rm. Some time passes and we give up on ever seeing it again. I give him back his old Ipod that he gave to me. Then... that one disappears. I don't want to hear it/ don't even tell me. But he tells me that he listened to it before school, placed it on the little table in the dining room and when he went to get it that nite to listen to in bed , that one too was Gone!. (Also a few wks. before the 1st Ipod went missing. I discovered that i was missing $180 from my secret hiding place).
But back to the Ipod, we searched/tore the place apart; asked/beseech ed - to no avail. Finally we gave up on every seeing/finding either one of them. And this past Sun. we went to Office Depot to buy(with his $$) a cheap-$30 MP3 player ( because he just couldn't live without his music anymore).

Then yesterday when i came home i saw that my step-daughter had left the lites and her computer on again, as usual. I went into her room to shutdown her computer. I hit start/shutdown but there were so many programs running (ie: AIM, etc) that i went to click out of AIM and as it closed another window/program popped up - ITunes and the window said "Luke's Ipod cannot synch because.....
Imagine my shock! I called Luke upstairs to read it/confirm it. I said how could this window pop up and he said my Ipod would've had to been connected. later i confirmed this with Apple.

I realize i'm rambling here and i do want to wrap this up. so to make a really long story shorter - my husband came home and under pressure from me confronted her. we called her downstairs and he told her what I had found on her computer earlier that day. Well, she denied it. After some histrionics we all went to bed. Today i called my husband at work and asked if he spoke with her again and he said that he did and told her we couldn't have "this" going on.


She is not four and " this" is not a barbie or a hissy fit with a girlfriend.
After thinking about it all day I've told him that I want him to confront her with it again and tell her we have this "proof" that whe stole it/ it had to be connected to her computer for that message to pop up, right? and that she can return it or at least own up to it if it is gone. But then what? what are the consequences??
If she owns up/all is forgiven and life goes on?
if she doesn't own up do we tell her to go back and live with her mother (if her step-father will have her)?
ok this is where you all come in.
1) is the evidence damning? beyond the shadow of a doubt? Yes/No
2) do i forgive and forget if she admits? and
3) if not do i show her the door?

"D" list

Awhile back I did a list of "S" words and it was suggested that I do "D".
so here i go:
disheartened,disillusioned, dilemma, decision, decisive(I'm not), deliberate, disenchanted, delusional(I am), dysfunctional(no comment), daunting, dilettante, disguise, Divorce, dysthymia,dissuade, delve, delicious, downtown,diary,dreamy, dance, dog, deep, dove,diamond, disaster, date, dope, drug, dessert,drink, discuss, dissect, develop, delude, dine, disengage,dumbfounded,delve,decolletage,disaster,develope, doze, dingbat,deck,discussion,disdain,disorganized,disturbing,disgusted, divine

So you wanna buy an O. Go ahead pick a letter, you know you want to.

Photohunt

This weeks theme: Different

Joke Friday

If God had created Eve first,what might have transpired:

After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve.
"How are things, Eve?", He asked
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied,
"The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights,
everything is wonderful. But I just have this one problem.
It's these breasts you've given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches,
snagging them on bushes, they're a real pain."

"That's a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know.
I gave the animals what, six? So I just figured you'd need half, but I see that you are right. I'll fix that up right away!" and God reaches down and removes the middle breast, tossing it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed, and God again visited Eve in the garden. "Well, Eve, how's my
favorite creation?" He asked. "Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one small
oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has her ram, the cow has her bull, all the animals have a mate, except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment. "You know, Eve, you're right. How could I have overlooked this! You do need a mate and I will immediately create Man from a part of you!

Now, let's see, where did I leave that useless boob?"

Carrie & Big

Lest you all think i've turned this humble blog into a politico blog: I give you 2 of my favs with some great music to boot.

Barack

Thanks to my son for finding both of these great videos.

Obama

Photohunter

This weeks theme: Party