Joke Friday



You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were > dead.>> At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,> "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.">>>

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:> "Husband Wanted".> Next day she received a hundred letters.> They all said the same thing:> "You can have mine.">>>

When a woman steals your> husband,> there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished>>>
A little boy asked his father,> "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"> Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.">>>
A young son asked,> "Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa> a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"> Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

>>> Then there was a woman who said,> "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,> and by then, it was too late.">>

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.>>>>

If you want your spouse to listen and> pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your> sleep.>>

Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking > they had no faults at all.>>>

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"> Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive.">>

"A Woman's Prayer:> Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive> him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength> I'll just beat him to death ">>

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!>>> Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A > blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find > it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the> bus.>> So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the > husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he > taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of > rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.">> The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR > stick, we'd be riding the bus so shut the hell up.">


ipanema said...

lol...yes, they can have all irresponsible husbands! :)

Panaderos said...

LOL! The last one was my fave! Hahaha

I hope you're having a great weekend!

Mary Sheehan Winn said...

I can't believe I hadn't commented on this. The first line of the joke is killer! I laughed really hard!