Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As much as I love New York City, I'm glad I'm not in Times Square tonite. Not on my list of things to do fore I die. The one that was on my list I won't be able to see, at least the way it was, is New Orleans. Alot of sad doings in the world this year, let's hope for a better New Year. Thai food and a movie with the kid tonite. New Years Day Open House tomorrow. Will be making the meatballs tonite as the ball comes down at midnite.
Everyone have a safe and Happy New Year!!!!!!

Joke Friday

Here are 8 cute ones for you, one for each night of Hannukah.

1)A small boy is sent to bed by his father: Five minutes later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad...." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

2. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him: "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

3 One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed: She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," s he said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

4. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon: All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

5. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room: I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

6. A little boy was doing his math homework: He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

7. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class: She came to t he part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

8. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."


As in potato, not the guy in Taxi. Well I surprised myself tonite and pulled off making potato latkes( I've only done this once or twice and not in several years). I wasn't sure how they would turn out til we all tried them and it was unanimous - they were pretty good. The only think was I didn't have any sour cream for them - big disappointment for me but my son uses applesauce and my mother-in-law, well she just puts ranch dressing on everything, since we never have any "gravy". I even made a pot roast( in the oven) that didn't taste like shoe leather and even remembered to make a green vegetable, tho I almost burnt it but I discovered in time that there was no water in the pot (my mother in law was helping).
Another thing that is good to remember is to put the fan on to suck up the grease.

Bloggy blogland

Why do I blog? Because I like to, almost need to. Because this is my creative outlet? along with playing piano and photography. I'm not a writer but I love to write. I've always been a book lover. I've written poetry for over 30 yrs, does that make me a poet?
Or do i blog for friendship? I have plenty of friends; tho ones that I hardly ever see, that we never seem to have time for, hardly even for phone calls for months, years. And these are lifelong really good friends, this can't be. Life is definitely what happens while you are making other plans. Then there are the new friends: work friends, friends made thru the kids- that you talk to either on a daily or wkly basis; but even these, some of them I just talk to on the phone. When was the last time we went to lunch or dinner? or even just had tea and a heart to heart. So does the blogosphere provide more of this rarefied time, experience, interests that we find missing, that we all need, crave? can we really count these friends or are they just acquaintances, nice people; more than strangers you meet standing in line, but less than real friends with familiar faces and history ,but cyber friends indeed.
I'd just like to thank all of you for hanging out with me, I've loved every minute.

Drafts on the subject:
From My blog (written on Oct. 23)

It's like my room, my place to go, to retreat, reflect, create and even rant if need be. A room of my own, a room with a view. And then there are all the new blogfriends, kinda reminds me of having penpals.

From Hangin on the blog corner (written Oct.30)
Seems all I want to do is hang out in the blogosphere these days. As my 11 yr. old reminds me all the time...I need to get a life. And what does that say about all us bloggers? are we social beings because we like recognition in the form of a comment? or are we recluses hiding behind our computer screens.
It does seem like a crowd, gang, community. Almost wish you could just pull up a blogstool and chew the fat.

bye bye blackbird

Pack up all your cares and woes...... bye bye blackbird. For the price of an admission ticket I was taken away for 3 hours from the guilt and excesses of X-mas, from thinking about the credit card bills that will come do, from the ravages of time on my sore arm,from the reality of returning to work tomorrow.
The director, Peter Jackson, did a phenomenal job ( tho I think he coulda edited about 15 min. out of the prehistoric (Jurassic like ) scenes; but that's just me, always the editor. Jack Black(Karl)was excellent, as was Naomi Watts and the rest of the cast. One of the few movies that I felt was worth the price I paid. And it was just like an old time movie, adventure, exciting, fun and especially so watching it with my son. It was riveting to the end when Karl simply said, "It was beauty killed the Beast".

Happy Hannukah

Feliz Navidad


Bad Santa

(hope i don't offend anyone - this is sick)

If Santa answered his mail honestly...

Dear Santa

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a
gud boy all yeer.
yer Frend,

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.
How about I send you a frickin book so you can learn to read and write?
I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!


Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I
ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!



Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?



Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas,
I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together.
Please see what you can do?


Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to
your frigid mom,who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream.
Let me get you some nice Legos instead.


Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.


Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay,I'll set you up with a Barbie.


Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I
left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.


Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart
in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor?
Leave me a bottle of scotch.


Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend,

Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in
Vegas,where I spend most of my time making low-budget
porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and
squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while
losing money at the craps table.
Hey, you wanted to know.

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know
when we're awake, like in the song?


Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do.
I'm skipping your house.


Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please
please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?


That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but
that crap doesn't work with me.
You're getting a sweater again.

Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get
nto our home?



First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why
you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you
don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent
apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad
just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams,

3 Strikes you're out

Is what ran thru my mind right before it happened.(Always thinking of the next post). And once again it happened so fast I had not time to plan. That thought was the only thing that crossed my mind in the 3-4 seconds before he struck again, sending his teeth with such force into the forearm of my good arm that I cried out in pain and shock.
This wasn't a scratch or even a bite that you could just shrug off to he's just a being a cat, treating me like a cat. But a preemptive attack with intent to harm, main. He bit down with such force that I felt it to the bones. All I can compare it to is when they get a mouse in their teeth and come down hard and shake them within inches of death. When he finally released my arm from his vise like grip he scampered off downstairs. My husband got up and sleepily asked "what he bit you?" In between cries and sobs, I said 'yes", "put him in the basement". A few minutes later he came back upstairs and when I asked if he was in the basement he just said, "he's downstairs somewhere". At which I said again in between sobs, "please put ;him in the basement"(freedom was not good enof for this traitor). When he came back up now I was sobbing not because of the pain and trauma of what had occurred but because of the thoughts now running thru my head, I said, "what am I going to do? Put him to sleep?
To which he replied - "keep him downstairs" but there are no doors downstairs to keep him from getting up, no kitchen door to lock him in and he would cry and howl like he does .
I had just got up from a sound drug induced sleep - pain and sleep meds) to feed him, then he came crying again and I lifted him up to the bed ( not good for the bad arm!) I was petting him to get him to settle down and go to sleep. I guess that's not what he had in mind.
So what do I do:
A) Put him up for adoption ( who's gonna want a 15 yr. old psycho cat)
B) Banish him to the basement every nite and hope he doesn't howl.
c) Put him to sleep. ( out of his misery and save me from possible losing an eye next time)

So here is my 1st survey, not the one that I had planned. If you vote A please include yr. address and if B) please send ear plugs and if you think C) is cruel and abusive please don't tell me.
I guess I will call the vet shrink tomorrow-for him and me.

And I bet you thought this was going to be a baseball post here from Red Sox country , where we are reeling with the news of our Johnny Damon becoming a dreaded Yankee. Yesterday morning I heard a "Oh no "from downstair when the boy read the headlines. I think Johnny is going to lose some of his sex appeal when he goes clean cut. And I wonder what exactly is the difference between 40 and 50 million? A couple more yachts, planes or automobiles i guess.


I dreamt this last sat. nite. was cleanin out my drafts folder and I just couldn't hit delete.

Dreamt last nite that I was in my hometown. I was driving down Boulevard A, around 46th St., and the numbers were going up and I asked someone if The Boulevard was to the right, the way i was pointing, and they said yes so I turned up the street. There were all kinds of crazy shops and things. I guess i was trying to get home, because I lived downtown past The Boulevard. But I woke up.I guess they're right,"you can never go back" and it reminds me of when I wrote.. "You can never go home."

a shot in the arm

Well I got a shot in the arm today(not in a good sense) for my tennis elbow. Tennis elbow! I don't play tennis!! The shoulder is holding up though (knocking wood) i think. The shot hurt like a mother...; I told the Dr. that it's the worse pain since childbirth. I asked the lady at the desk outside if she heard me and she said yes; oh well. After the shot my hand didn't work, couldn't pick anything up or hold anything very well. She said that should be better by morning. I hope so, else work will be very interesting - the proverbial one armed paper hanger. Typing is not that easy so I'll be signing off - I have my doctor's note. House better be on else there will be one unhappy patient.

The bad cat revisited

The bad cat has been nice of late, no transgressions like trying to take my face off in the middle of the nite. He still cries in the middle of the nite, sometimes for food ( because he can't get enof during the day because of the dog) and sometimes cause he wants me to pick him up and put him in the bed. I don't think he can jump that high anymore. He either settles down by my side ( nice heater this time of year) or perches on my shoulder rite next to my head, like a bird. With the dog at my feet, this must be some sight.
the other day, when i was talking on the phone to my friend, i realized I hadn't heard from his highness last night and went looking for him. He is only usually upstair in the computer room on the futon; he wasnt' there. i looked around and didn't' see him, my friend said she wanted to get off the phone, she didn't want to hear me scream, when I found my dead cat. I even looked in the basement, then hung up with her to continue looking. what if he got outside and was out all nite and froze; then I turned around from looking outside and lo and behold there he was under the bench next to the door in the boot tray.

Christmas story

I was getting the papers together to recycle when I came upon this in the Boston Globe:

LONDON- This week, an animated film, "It's a Boy", about the birth of Jesus is being distributed to all 26,00 British elementary schools.
"I decided we had to do this film after hearing about a 5-year-old boy who saw the Christmas story last year and asked afterwards why Mary named her baby after a swear word, said Steve Legg, the founding director of Christian charity Breakout Trust, which is funding the project.

Christmas story is my favorite .

Joke Friday

Wait until you read the last line!

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.
"It worked, the headaches are all gone!" The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!" His funeral services will be held on Monday.

shopping fool

Well, you might be seeing less of me as christmas rears, no that is not a typo for nears but I did in fact mean rears, as in rears it's ugly head. I am scrooge when it comes to xmas, the american materialistic holiday, but then guilt gets in the way and I succumb to it like someone under hypnosis... must get The best present, at The best price. So I read thru the flyers and do my research and make my endless lists -(but not for long, i've already bought my present - a Palm pilot!)
So if you don't see me around it's because I'm out at the mall with all the other idiots. But of course now that I've said that I'll probably post something every day. Go figure. I guess I have to use reverse psychology on myself.


This was written on Fri. the day of the storm; I'm a little behind due to the the power failure and laziness of course. I love how the telephone pole in the picture looks like a cross.

Checking out at the hairdresser's today, it was raining and snowing and hailing and we heard thunder and saw lightening. Very eerie; people were shocked. Someone said, "I've never seen this before", and the big guy behind the desk said," I did, in 1974 at my Grandmother's funeral", and she predicted it. She always said that it would rain, snow, hail, thunder and lightening when she died and it did.

I had forgotten my phone, left it charging on the kitchen counter. Nice day to forget yr. phone. I call the kid from there to make sure he made it in the house ok and off I drive into the storm.
Driving home the roads all snowy and slushy, wind blowing like crazy, white-out conditions. Future post going thru my head and again I'm wishin I had one of those mini tape recorders. Maybe I'll ask for one for X-mas; but I've already asked for a car starter.

When I get home the kid meets me at the door with his earphones on and informs me that the power is out. I cook dinner in the dark, by candlelight and we play cards til we are bored and cold and go to bed about 10.

Life in New England; you gotta love it!

Sign, sign, every where a sign

I wrote this on Wed. 2 days after my a strange thing post. This was supposed to be a sequel; but I've become an obsessed shopper ( i hate xmas - there i've said it) I can go months without shopping, wear the same rags, I mean jeans and don't care. and I'm also in that lazy draft phase - a thought/idea presents - I jot it down, sometimes almost finish it and log off, on to the next one or blog hopping.

Ok now something happened again today, not like the other day, this was different.
Today I called in this nice 30 0r 40 something woman, a massage specialist, who, in the course of the exam, told me you have to take care of yourself,treat yourself good. She says she has pedicures and massages regularly; she says do whatever makes you feel good, happy, treat yr. kids better.
Then we got on the subject of marraige, marraige counseling and also depression and medicine for depression.
So by the end of the exam i have her card with the name of a book and the marraige counselor's name and phone number. And they think I'm working behind that closed door . These are the patients that make it worth while.
(Lest you think this happens all the time, it doesn't. Actually some of the timeI am the one giving advice/help.)
So who's sending me all these signs? Dad, mom, someone else up there? trying to help me out.
whomever/whatever it is , I'll take all the help I can get. I do need to resolve all the conflict in my life, one way or another.

Joke Friday


Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mamma loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mamma just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote:

"Milton, the house you built is so huge I live in only one room, but I
have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries
delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could
hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and
I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a
little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

Luv Ya, Mama

John Lennon 1940 - 1980

John Lennon was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1994. The following information was obtained from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame:

John Lennon didn't invent it rock and roll, nor did he embody it as toweringly as figures like Elvis Presley and Little Richard, but he did more than anyone else to shake it up, move it forward and instill it with a conscience. As the most daring and outspoken of the four Beatles, he helped shape the agenda of the Sixties - socially and politically, no less than musically. As a solo artist, he made music that alternately disturbed and soothed, provoked and sought community. As a human being, he served as an exemplar of honesty in his art and life. As Jann Wenner wrote in the foreword to a collection of writings entitled The Ballad of John and Yoko, "Of the many things that will be long remembered about John Lennon - his genius as a musician and singer, his wit and literary swiftness, his social intuition and leadership - among the most haunting was the stark, unembarrassed commitment of his life, his work and his undernourished frame to truth, to peace and to humanity."

Lennon was born in 1940 during the Nazi bombing of Britain and given the middle name Winston, after prime minister Churchill. Knowing firsthand the horror of a world at war and living through the era of Vietnam's senseless carnage as well, Lennon came to embrace and embody pacifism via such classics of the Beatles era as "All You Need Is Love" and "Strawberry Fields Forever." Yet he also had a countervailing dark side that found expression in pained outcries that dated as far back as "Help." This unvarnished aspect of the Lennon persona reached a fevered pitch with the drug-withdrawal blues of "Cold Turkey," a 1969 single released under the name Plastic Ono Band.

Although Lennon was a complicated man, he chose at this juncture to simplify his art in order to figure out his life, erasing the boundaries between the two. As he explained it, he started trying "to shave off all imagery, pretensions of poetry, illusions of grandeur...Just say what it is, simple English, make it rhyme and put a backbeat on it, and express yourself as simply [and] straightforwardly as possible." His most fully realized statement as a solo artist was 1970's John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band. Lennon's first solo album, it followed several avant-garde sound collages recorded toward the end of the Beatles era with his wife and collaborator, Yoko Ono. The raw, confessional nature of Plastic Ono Band reflected the primal-scream therapy that Lennon and Ono had been undergoing with psychologist Arthur Janov.

There were, in fact, numerous facets to Lennon's character captured in the ongoing diary of his life in song. Many of his post-Beatles compositions - "Imagine," "Mind Games," "Instant Karma," and "Give Peace a Chance" - have rightfully become anthems, flaunting tough-minded realism, cosmic epiphany, hard-won idealism and visionary utopianism in equal measure. For all of the unvarnished genius of Lennon's recordings, however, much of what lingers in the public memory goes beyond musical legacy. Rather, it has to do with leading by example. The relationship between John and Yoko endured challenges from within and without to became one of the most touching and celebrated of 20th-century romances. They were gallantly foolish in undertaking performance art pieces - bed-ins, happenings, full-page ads declaring "War Is Over!" - to spread their message of peace. During the early Seventies Lennon fought the U.S. government to avoid deportation - a campaign of harassment by Nixon-era conservatives that was overturned by the courts in 1975 - and came to love his adopted city of New York.

Then there were those five quiet years when Lennon chose to lay low and raise their son, Sean Ono Lennon. Simply by stepping back and "watching the wheels" from the sidelines, John Lennon made a statement about priorities that said more than words and music. His eventual return to the recording scene in 1980 after that lengthy hiatus - his last album of original songs had been 1974's Walls and Bridges - was one of the more eagerly anticipated musical events of the year. The album Double Fantasy, jointly credited to John Lennon/Yoko Ono, was released on December 6th. Two days later, a brilliant life came to an untimely end when John Winston Lennon was fatally shot by a deranged fan outside his New York City apartment upon returning from a recording session.

I loved the Beatles. I had a schoolgirl crush on Paul when they first came to the US. Later John appealed more to the hippie in me. I think I wore out the grooves in my Abby Road album that was always playing in my dorm room. It's sad to think on what we missed out on from this wonderful and talented man.

A strange thing

happened today at work. I picked up two charts and looked at them both - husband & wife; I picked the wife. I looked at the date to calculate her age to write in her chart and saw she was 65, but when she sat down I saw that she didn't look like any 65 yr. old I'd seen lately. I started asking medical questions: "take any medications?" her reply, "No"; any medical problems? she proudly replied, "No , I'm fine". She had longish blonde moderately curly hair and wore these cool jeans with studs and just generally had this very youthful appearance. So when i asked her "you're 65?" , she said "yes, I was wondering when you were going to ask, everyone always does." So then I asked her what her secret was? she said none, but when I pressed her and even asked about cosmetic surgery - which she said no. She just said that she took good care of herself. Ate good, used good creams and shampoo. Then I shut the lights off and started the eye exam; in the middle of it she said, "you have a stressful aura around you". "Wow", I said, you can see that? is it a color?" but then she said, "we better not talk about it"; I'm assuming she was afraid she was gonna wind up with the wrong glass presecription. evidently she doesn't know I can do this in my sleep. Later she asked me if I pray? I said, no. and then she asked if I was an Agnostic, and I said I wouldn't go that far and explained that I was Jewish but that growing up my family didn't practice anything but that my son went to Sunday school. She said something like, "You'll find your way". When we were walking out of the room I told her that I had had both hers and her husbands chart in my hand and I picked hers and said " I guess for a reason". And she smiled, put her arm around me and hugged me and said "Yes".

jackie gleason

"Whenever I’m at a crossroads, be it choosing what bar to go to next or whether to launch a preposterous new venture, I ask myself, WWJGD? And I know just what to do—slam a double scotch and leap wildly toward the light while cracking wise at the suckers I’m leaving behind."

I came upon this online when I was looking for a picture of him as Joe the bartender for my previous post, but didn't find one.I loved Jackie Gleason and I love that WWJGD do line.

like riding a bike

I tended bar tonite. I was asked to do it as a favor, because they were stuck. It was like I never left. I tended bar for years; I started in Amherst and Northampton, MA. The first job I had,I lied, I said I bartended before. I hadn't, but I'd cocktail waitressed and saw them all made and being a Leo I figured hey I can do that. Bartending also got me into traveling. (what terrible english).
One snowy night upon leaving work I had this revelation: Hey, I'm just a bartender, I can do this anywhere. So I decided to move to the US Virgin Islands - St. Croix(with a friend) ,where I landed a bartending job almost immediately and made a lot of Pina Coladas and Strawberry Daiquiri's. My boss was a complete and utter jerk , so I quit and moved to the restaurant down the street.

Next a friend convinced me to manage his boat charter company(the benefits were good, all the rum punch and sailing you wanted). Then I had the break of my life, I got a job working(pt time) for the local TV station - that was fun and great,butI moved back to the states and yup you guessed it - bartending, this time on Martha's Vineyard (yes I have a thing for Islands). After the summer I went back to Northampton - tending bar - what else. But i missed the ocean so back to the Vineyard I went with the plan to just stay long enof to make some money to move to NY to pursue a career in TV/film - my dream. Well my back went out and I wound up spending the winter on the island - another post.

Then I did a stint in Boston and worked some real fancy places and was even a Bar Manager. But I got tired of working nites and didn't want to be a forty year old bartender ( someday as Meg Ryan says(not about bartending but about Turning 40) in When Harry Met Sally ( one of my favorite movies).

This is why & when I made my big career move to Medicine, got married, moved to the suburbs and had a baby. Then since I was only working part time in my Tech. job I decided to come out of retirement(kinda like the athletes) and started tending bar at the country club near where I lived. My boss, Daniel, was from Ireland and the best boss that I ever had. It wasn't like work, my husband used to say it was my nite out and it was. I ate, drank and sometimes even danced. It was way fun. But then Daniel got a better job and left and it wasn't so fun anymore and I started doing my day job more - kid was in school now. So I gave up bartending again, that was about 6 yrs. ago.

Tonite I came out of retirement yet again,and it was just like the first time that i went back , like I never left. I remember when i started back that first time- walking into the walk-in(big fridge - for you guys not in the biz) to get some beer or wine and it felt like i was home,like the smell of the greasepaint. Walking back behind the bar tonite it was just like riding a bike.

addendum: I wrote this last night after a few cocktails and I realized I left out the craziest place I worked- Key West; I spent a winter there in between Martha's Vineyard stints. I did more cocktail waitressing there tho ( I worked at a topless beach - the customers not me!); I left out all the waitressing jobs and hostessing jobs that I had else this post woulda been even longer.

Joke Friday


On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.; I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span. "The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed again.

On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you


Over at The Glittering Muse my poem is included in The Symphonic Poetry Carnival.
I've posted it here but please go read the others.


Is it that we are not fond
of one another anymore
no endearing looks, touches
no secret, knowing glances
It's so hard to live this way
no harmony, no closeness
feel like there is a weight on my chest
holding me down
hard to breathe


wheedle \HWEE-d'l; WEE-d'l\, transitive verb:
1. To entice by soft words or flattery; to coax.
2. To gain or get by flattery or guile.

Now there's a word I can get next too. In case anyone hasn't noticed I've added word of the day in my links.

Monday's post was inspired or jump started by the word of the day; tho i have to admit in the past they have done nothing for me at all.
But today's word again fits in with what's going on here in my world.

Yesterday at work, it was another harried morning - "too many patients, not enof techs". Everytime i came out in the hall to grab another chart, a co-worker(and friend)-DH and I exchanged knowing exasperated looks (we do this a lot - don't have to talk - read each other's mind - but then she's pretty psychic and I am a little sometimes). Looks like I've managed to get off track here, what a surprise. So we get through the morning and it's lunchtime. Someone is supposed to be coming to talk to us about disability insurance(which we are secretly hoping is our ticket outta here). Well DH has the afternoon off and has to leave for an appt. and since I'm working the afternoon, I have to run home to let Jackson out and make sure I've left the door open for the boy. Anyway the poor woman shows up and we both tell her we only have a few minutes, at which she says well I guess we should reschedule cause it takes about 20 min to 1/2 hr. each. and we say "each?", we thought you could talk to us both at the same time. She explains that because of individual circumstances, variables and confindentiality, yaddy yaddy, yaddy. Anyway I somehow talk her into giving us the facts,"just the facts", give it to me in a nutshell. So she winds up sitting down and pulling out her laptop and going over it briefly. Just enof so we can get the idea of how it works and she gives us her card and tells us to call to make another appt. with her to finish individually. Then I inform the afternoon crew that "I'll be back", to which they answer, "We'll be here". I rush home but not to fast since I'm in the rental that was dropped off this morning. Remember "The Crash". I let the dog out and eat some Thanksgiving leftovers, hoping that I'm not giving myself food poisoning ( tho that would get me out of work this afternoon), throw out the rest of the Turkey and dash back to work ( only 15 min. late). And I even remembered to leave the door open.
In the evening I call DH to find out how she made out at her appt. and the Disability Lady finds her way into the conversation when we are talking about ways of getting out of our current jobs and into new ones. DH very complimentarily says that I should be running a company or something. She said see how you got that woman to sit down and show us what we wanted; you're a "quiet leader". Whatever that means. Does it mean I am pushy and bossy and get what I want or that I conjole and wheedle my way thru life? I prefer to think the later.


lassitude \LASS-uh-tood; LASS-uh-tyood\, noun:
Lack of vitality or energy; weariness; listlessness

I guess that is what I am suffering from today. So many thoughts going through my head today, memories of last year. Thanksgiving day arriving at the nursing home to find they had dressed my father and propped him up in a chair. When they brought around his plate of food, I gave him a small forkful, which he pushed away, "too much, too much". He had already stopped eating, had already given up. Just the day befoe he had arrived when the hospital informed me that since they were not treating him for anything (other than dying) they would have to discharge him. Two days later on Saturday, he was already in death's throes. I liked the room he was in , he had it to himself, at least he didn't have to have a stranger witness his death. I'd brought some pictures from his apt. and placed them around the room and on the window, which was a large one with a nice view of a woody hillside. His nurse, Gabriella, surely an angel came at regular intervals to administer pain medication to try and make him comfortable. He was seeing things ? angels we liked to think. and counting them 1,2,3. He wanted us to count and seemed to take comfort in it. I was there the whole day and thankful to my good friend, Marilyn, who came and stayed with me. We left for a little while when he seemed to finally fall into a farily restful sleep. When we came back they told me that he was in a coma and probably wouldn't make it thru the night. It was preety upsetting seeing him this way, as this was the last image I have of my mother as well. I just wanted to go home( felt like a little girl again), so we left but when we got to the lobby I stopped and said to my friend that I felt guilty leaving him,that maybe I should stay, that I wouldn't want to die alone. My friend said he'd probably still be here in the morning and that it was allright,so I went home. Gabrielle called very early in the morning and told me that he had passed on a little while ago. I've felt badly that I left, still do, and probably always will.


It is the 1 year anniversary of my father's death tomorrow. According to Jewish tradition you light a candle on the eve of his death. Since I don't really know what you are supposed to say when you light the candle, or what I will say, I thought I would post the eulogy that I wrote.

My father lived 91 yrs. 8 months & 2 days.

He had strong hands and he was proud of them.I guess they came in handy in his line of work as a butcher. 4 days before he died when the nurse said to squeeze her hands he said "Are you sure" and smiled with her expected response.
Though I really think he missed his calling..Accounting. He loved numbers. When I was cleaning out his apartment I found alot of scraps of paper with his calculations. 3 days before he died he asked me for the Business section of the paper.
My father had striking blue eyes. 2 days before he died, the nurse said to him "You are a gentleman, everyone is in love with you:look at those blue eyes." And they lit up for an instant, like they used to.
His mind is what was truly amazing, sharp as a tack. He could remember more stories than anyone in this room probably. And it kept working right up to his death. 1 day before he died he was still trying to keep track of everything.

A really important event in my father's life was WW II, when he served in the Army overseas. He enjoyed telling stories of this time; as most of us here are aware. Another thing that he really liked to do was to help people. And I can remember people often saying, "Your father is such a nice man".
His family was very special and important to him. His stories of New York and his brother Mac and his siter Lil were truly heartwarming. When I went down to Fla. to get him at the Rehab I overheard a hospital worker ask him what was something he was proud of in his life and he said, "My children". That pride and dedication to the family was something he shared with my mother, Blanche, over their 30 yrs. of marriage. And I admired how devoted he was to her during her illness & death.
Years later he was blessed to meet Betty and they enjoyed 20 happy years together. We all know he missed her terribly and often wondered why he was still here. My friend, Marilyn told him it was so that she could meet him and so that he could get to know his grandson, Luke. And perhaps it was so I could get to know him again. It was a privilege taking care of him in his later years and to be with him at his death.
I know he would've loved everyone being here because he actually spoke of who would be here a few days before he died and mentioned his nieces and nephew, Harold, Helen, and Muriel, who gave him so much support with their visits and phone calls.
I don't know if any of you every noticed but my father never said Goodbye; so Dad as you would've said, "So long for now."


Well I did fall into a soporific state immediately after that last post;I didn't even attempt the movie, headed straight to bed. In the middle of the night the damn cat woke me up and insomnia reared its ugly head and would have nothing of this tryptophan and alcohol induced sophoric state. So instead of grabbing a book on my way to the den, what do i do, of course you guessed it, headed straight for blogland. But I need my rest if I am ever going to be even remotely successful tomorrow, Black Friday. I'm determined to jump start my xmas shopping - no use fighting tradition. Well if i was a real diehard I would just head out now, it's almost 5AM. Nah I guess i'll go read.


Ok, well I'm thankful that I didn't burn the bird, tho for a few minutes I was panicing that I did. I started cooking last night; I peeled and chopped all the vegetables and thought I was in pretty good shape. This morning I stayed in bed til 10 , then got up had my coffee read the paper and started cooking around Noon. I was in pretty good shape around 2, bird in I took a shower and went for a walk with the family and dog. Got back and had a bloody mary; feeling pretty relaxed til I started panicing about The Bird. Usually it's done early and according to my estimation it shoulda been done by 4:15; when the thermomator hadn't popped by 5, I started panicing, I thought it would be like the bird in Christmas Vacation when Chevy Chase puts the fork in the bird and it just collapses in a puff of smoke. It wasnt' as bad as I thought, tho I will never again depend on that damn thermomater popping up; and it was fine, didnt taste dry at all. between the gravy and the cranberry sauce I dont know how it could. The apple pie ala mode was perfect of course(Thanks to Mrs. Smith). I will no doubt fall asleep during the movie tho. Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving.

Harry Potter

Well Sunday was a nice day altho it started better than it ended. Started the morning with a cat and dog and a boy in my bed. The cat left pretty much immediately when he saw the hi-jinks begin. Luke likes to tease Jackson by getting in bed next to me and putting his arm over me and saying my mommy; at which Jackson responds by doing his doggie crawl up the bed and wedging himself between us. My theory is that he thinks he is the top dog (after me of course)and above Luke-since he gets to sleep in the bed and Luke is next door in his bed.
In the afternoon we went to see Harry Potter and risking alienating everyone on the planet I have to admit that I think I am getting tired of Harry Potter. The movie was ok but I think I am getting tired of the formula. I think i need a change, maybe Narnia or King Kong will do it for me. Then in the evening I decided to go food shopping for Thanksgiving, a full 3 days before usual!

cache of books

Went searching for a book in this box of books from when last I moved or maybe from the move before that even. Evidently these are my "favs", the ones I couldn't throw out. And since I don't have a bookcase in this new house they never got unpacked. It's like walking down memory lane and finding old friends. There's the copy of On The Beach by Nevil Shute(60cents)-the book that scared the crap out of me in ?8th grade. Oh, here's an older one even..Portrait of Jennie (35cents -remember seeing the movie too) that one was so surreal(to a ?11 yr. old). Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (95 cents) must be headin into college now cause here are the Herman Hesse's - Demian and Steppenwolf. And one of my favorites.. The sorrows of Young Werther by Goethe. And the Awakening by Kate Chopin. Oh and here is Soul on Ice by Eldridge Cleaver from my Revolutionary Period. And my Anais Nin collection, diaries and novels. Then there are the power of positive thinking books - I guess those need to be reread. And there is The Unbearable Lightness of being and Prince of Tides. Wow I feel like I just walked into a roomful of old friends.

Joke Friday

Well I guess I owe you guys a couple of jokes after the last two posts of mine. Have a great weekend.
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom? Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying
to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

The un-happy

Why is it that I am not happy. Feel like an outsider. Like it's just something impossible for me to attain. Is it me or my situation? It has been me many times in my life before, but now it is different. There are reasons, and situations and well...but I still feel like it is like a golden ring and I am on that merry- go-round for life.

I know "happiness is an elusive, sometimes fleeting thing; that happiness lies within us, but what if you are just not capable of it, it's not in your makeup. well then what? are you damned for all eternity?

Maybe I'll try the "happy pills" again; like a good friend says " there's not enof Prozac in the world" and "they should put it in the water".
so maybe then I am normal? just reacting to all the stress and crap in the world.

Feel like in (? name) Woody Allen movie when he said about being in therapy: But I'm not going to live long enough to fix everything.

I guess all we can really do is try. I can hear my son saying, " I did the best that I could do". (Now there's a healthy psyche, i hope.)

Well I've gone from being extremely happy for my friend to the Dalai Lama ( felt like I had nothing to say yesterday and felt that a post from the Dalai Lama would be better than a post from me; I guess I was on my way down(with truth or dare).... ladies lingerie, shoes,to the un-happiest post of all.

Truth or dare

How many of us blog about what is really bothering us? or what we are really thinking about? Sometimes I want to just go back to the old pen and notebook. That place where I could hideout, where nobody would know, where I could let it all hang out, tell the truth, kick and scream and not be so self conscious. This arena seems not for the faint of heart, not the dress rehearsal but the real thing. Seems like I'm treading water these days; still need those swimmies on, still not sure whether to sink or swim. I finally made it out of my self doubt phase (well sort of) and started to feel almost comfortable out here in the deep end but those naggy self doubt cells sure can hang tough, like a virus I suppose. You think you're better and whamm....laid out flat again. Just trying to figure it all out.

Dalai Lama

This we can all bear witness to, living as we do plagued by unremitting anxiety … It becomes more and more imperative that the life of the spirit be avowed as the only firm basis upon which to establish happiness and peace.This new concept ought to be elaborated alongside the religions, in such a way that all people of good will could adhere to it. We ought to promote this concept with the help of scientists. It could lead us to what we are looking for.Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day. In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.Nowadays the world is becoming increasingly materialistic, and mankind is reaching toward the very zenith of external progress, driven by an insatiable desire for power and vast possessions. Yet by this vain striving for perfection in a world where everything is relative, they wander even further away from inward peace and happiness of the mind.My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.I believe deeply that we must find, all of us together, a new spirituality.My message is the practice of compassion, love and kindness. Compassion can be put into practice if one recognizes the fact that every human being is a member of humanity and the human family regardless of differences in religion, culture, color and creed. Deep down there is no difference.Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace.In Buddhism we have relative truth and absolute truth.If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.


Drum roll please...^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Patry Francis of the Marvelous Garden has a book deal!!!!! This is just too good for words. It's just the best thing, no she is the best thing!!! I hope they know how lucky they are to get her!!! Congratualtions Patry, you deserve it, you're the best!

50 Reasons why I hate winter

1)No gardening
2)No flowers
3)No cookouts
4)It's too damn cold outside
5)It's cold inside
6)It gets dark so early
7)You can't hang outside
8)short walks if any at all
0)I turn from a night owl to a hibernating bear
10)Ready for bed at 7:30
11)Go to bed as early as 9:00 sometimes
12)Not much is getting done
14)scraping windshields
15)waiting for freezing cold cars to start
16)can't play in the backyard with dog and boy
17)can't go to the beach, well you can but why?
18)can't sit and read and eat at the beach
19)can't take boy & dog to the beach
20)can't go out for icecream
21) no tan
22)no garden tomatoes
23)no fresh basil
24)no warm sand
25)no watermelon
26)no lemonade
27) no free concerts
28) no corn on the cob
29) heating bills
30)icy roads
33)sore throats
34)chapped lips
35)dry hands
36)cold fingers
37)cold toes
38) can't wear shorts
39) can't wear flip-flops
40) can't bike
41) can't go out without putting on tons of clothes
42) no walks with the dog
43) no throwing the ball in the backyard
44) no road trips
45) no fishing
46) no baseball
47) no minature golf
48) no boating
49) no picnics
50) no warmth

2 reasons to like winter:
1) curling up with a good book (or someone)
2) fires in the fireplace

Feel free to add to whichever list you choose.

Footnote: I've got to admit after adding the picture to the post, the snow is pretty damn pretty. I do like it better after it snows.


Well, my day did not go as planned. Thought I would run off and shop for awhile. My son needed a ride over a friend's so I dropped him off and was going to go to the transfer station (dump) in hopes of finding some treasure or book(s) but when I realized that I had gone the wrong way I decided to go to a nursery for some potting soil and to look for an orchid that I wanted to buy for my kitchen window. I pulled into the parking lot of the place and stopped while deciding where to park; well this Big vehicle decided to plow into me. I saw it coming but couldn't do anything about it. I jumped out the car and said, "Didn't you see me?". The woman in the other car said, "I didn't even see you". And then she thought to add," you must've zoomed in here cause I looked and I didn't see you. I said, "well I was there and I didn't zoom". I wanted to zoom pow her to the moon tho.(i know peace,love,joy). Her Big vehicle did a number on my big vehicle, but only scratched her bumper. So now begins the pain in the butt procedure. Went home (without my prized orchid) and called the insurance co. Then since it was such an unseasonably nice day I decided to finish painting the side porch railings(which is a project that has been going on for months). Of course the only reason I chose to do this was so that I got out of vacuuming. I really should have central vac. cause my vacuum has been in my living room for at least a week now. I am going to finish vacuuming that sofa one of these days really and put it back together so that i can vacuum the rugs some day too. This is what I get for vacuuming the damn sofa anyway( not something I usually do). Well I guess I'll go get cleaned up and go out for dinner cause no one cooks around here either.

Saturday night

I made plans to go out saturday night and actually went out. Usually I renig at the last minute, too tired, don't want to leave my son alone. But since it wasn't too cold I decided that since I will probably be hibernating for the rest of the winter that I would go out. So I put on the war paint and tried to do something with the unruly hair, just added a little gel and said goodbye to the boy, happily watching football. My friend left her car here and I drove; when we got to the restaurant I realized that I hadn't taken my cell phone, moment of panic, what if he tries to call? My friend had her's so I called but no answer, he can't hear the phone out in the sunroom, I should've left the cordless out there; I leave a message with her phone number and uneasely order a drink. People from my work arrived and the band started playing some nice acoustic R&R. We stayed for about an hour and a half, just long enof for a drink, some chat and so I could say I went out this time. Next time I won't forget my phone.

No Joke

Hey I reached my 100th post, without really trying;it passed un-noticed by anyone,even me. (I actually realized it when I went looking for a saved draft and had to change the 50 to 100 in the show posts area and saw that the 1st one was not the first one and that I had to hit 300 to get to the beginning.)
I never woulda thought or bet money on I my ever getting here, but I'm glad that I did. I can barely remember life before blogging; what did I do with all my time? was my house cleaner? bills paid? food on the table? laundry folded? Well the 100th post was "certifiable" - which is very aprepro and I think sums up my blog & I fairly well.
The post that started this all was You can never go home which along with "tour of the old homestead" and "red headed neighbor lady" also at the beginning, and the sequels to the first, are still my favorites. So I guess I will keep "bloggin like the doodah man" and see if I have what it takes to hit 300. Then what happens?

Joke Friday

Because you've been good..... 2 jokes this week:
(I can't believe I'm actually telling clean jokes- these are not what I'm famous for)

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)answered, "Thou shall not kill."

drum set

Okay, now I know I really need my head examined.. .. I bought my son a drum set recently. What was I thinking? obviously I wasn't. But it was worth it, he seems so excited, really into it. After his Red Sox lost the playoffs he was preety sad. He went downstair and played his drums. When he came back up he said, "Mom,the drums are a preety good stress releaser". (Hey, maybe I should go down and try them). I guess I'm glad i bought them. We'll see in a couple of years ,when there's a gang of teenage boys and girls hanging round my house, if I still feel that way.

site meter

I think (no - I know) I am becoming obsessed with site meter. It seems I am more interested in who's been here, where they're from, how they got here and how long they stayed. Please tell me you do this too.
And I just love looking at that map thing, seeing all the lites from all over the world. But then this is coming from someone who thought having a penpal was just about the coolest thing (next to my stamp collection),that was before I got into baton twirling and boys. My favorite thing about it is seeing the search engine words for how they found me. I'd venture to guess 9 out of 10 times, i wasn't what they were expecting.


I hate it when I can't remember an idea. Didn't i write that down? Those fleeting ideas/inspirations, gone - poof- up in smoke. Then today in the car, driving from one office to another, inspiration hits and I'm diggin in my pocketbook for a pen as a Semi goes flyin by and my life passes before my eyes and I think,"my poor motherless boy". But still I take the chance and write on an envelope I've pulled from my pocketbook and write on the steering wheel - I'm certifiable aren't I? Ok I am definitely blog obsessed now - picturing myself at one of those 12 step programs. Hi, my name is rdl, I'm a blogaholic, I can't stop blogging.

I've been wanting to get one of those palm pilots because I am just so sick of all my lists, all those scraps of paper that I can never find and that I endlessly write the same things over and over. I thought just think how much time I would save if i could just have it saved on my palm pilot. Definitely putting it on my xmas list. But then I think maybe I should just get one of those mini casette players that you talk into - then i'd be certifiable for sure.

My new TV

I don't watch TV much, usually one show a season. Raymond was last year's show, before that was Malcolm in the Middle, Seinfeld. Last year I got into watching American Idol with my son(it kinda reminded me of watching the Ed Sullivan show with my parents). I started off liking the English dude,Simon, cause he was so sarcastic (it was funny); but by the end of show (I hate to admit it) I was actually voting. I started watching the show that came on right after-House and got hooked on it. The main character is kind of a curmudgeon. So right now that is this years "show". The rest of the time I'm usually here, at my new TV, surfing the net with my mouse instead of clicker and sometimes feeling like i could almost fall asleep, justlike in front of the TV.

Too long

A couple of times this week I've had patients ask me, "how long you been doing this?". After a pregnant pause I deadpan, "too long". They laugh and I go on with the exam; most of the time I think they ask me because of my professionalism, because it seems like I know what the hell I'm doing but other times I wonder if they catch on that I am bored to tears and just going through the motions. I always joke with co-workers that they could train monkeys to do our job but actually I take for granted all the knowledge and just plain hands on experience that we do have, knowing what to do in a given situation and just plain knowing how to handle people. People who can be rude, people who can be irritating, people who can be just plain, well nevermind; and then there are those who are nervous, anxious and scared. We have to hand hold, reassure, and conjole. Another thing they always ask is, " what's the doctor going to do?" or they say, "You could be the Dr." to which I sometimes say, "I'm the poster child for Stay in school".

The bad cat

Last nite when I was peacefully sleeping (actually very early this morning), my 14 yr. old Mean Coon cat, Dakota, scratched me in the face - on the cheek. I woke up screaming, clutching my face; at which point everyone in the house was up and running. Usually it is a charlie horse that elicits this cry of pain in the middle of the nite.
I was just grateful that he didn't get me in the eye this time. Yes this is his 2nd transgression, and at the risk of irritating cat lovers and activists out there, if he's not careful he's going to get the gas pipe. This is why I am a dog lover; a dog would never do this.

Joke Friday

Reasons not to mess with children:

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow
a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated,the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human;it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get
to heaven I will ask Jonah".The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

Dream log

Dreamt about my son last nite. I was moving into a house down a long dirt road. I was to have a room in this couples house,don't know who they were,but they were taking me in. I was having the road paved for them(?) Then i decided to go back home, remember the feeling of being lost not settled lonely in this new house.(isn't that wild? dreaming about how you feel). I was also trying to get home to my son cause he was home alone all day. when i called him it was night and he hadn't eaten dinner. Then there was a picture of him sitting in the ice cream shop on the vineyard(where we were this summer) on the front page of a newspaper, and the article was something about how I was a bad mother for not feeding him i think. Boy guilt finds you even in your sleep. (my interpretation- troubled by my home life)
Had another the next nite, he was going to cross this really busy street and it looked really dangerous and I screamed at him not to. ( Guess I don't want him to grow up? or my fear of losing him)

Then I had one about my father ( who died last Nov. - wow i just realized it's almost a yr. doesnt feel that way, seems like it just happended).
He was alive (this seems to be a reoccuring dream - I remember I had these about my mother also). He had been living someplace else, didn't want me to take care of him.
I guess this is another guilt dream - since i went home from the nursing facility the night that he died after being there all day and always feel now that i should've stayed; tho at the time i felt like a child who just wanted to go home.

(I actually wrote this a couple of weeks ago, was cleaning out my draft folder and just couldn't delete it).
Any dream analysts out there?


Ok I'm over it now. I'm facing the fact that I ain't gonna write the next great American novel; I'll leave that for my best friend to do. I practiced the piano tonite tho, never too late to work on my next career... lounge lizard. And as for the writing I think I'll stick with poetry , i like all that raw emotion and writing from the hip. I don't know if I could handle plots and outlines, sounds like work and when it comes to work I am a card carrying member of the Maynard G. Krebs club, anyone remember him? or am I showing my age again. He was a character on the show Dobie Gillis: I've forgotten his real name ( was it Bob Denver? - or am I totally out in left field?) well he was Gilligan anyway. And speaking of TV, maybe I'll start watching Desperate Housewives or ?? what are some of those shows everyone is always talking about in the lunchroom. Maybe I'll just go watch some TV right now.

Footnote: Just as I finished typing this the power went out for a couple of hrs. Ya think it's some kind of sign? Guess I'll go read before bed like i should.


Feel like when I was six and had whooping cough; everyone else was out playing and I wasn't. Now I wanna be nanowrimoing too! But alas I have no plot, no characters, no nothing. I just hope there's still someone left on the blogground for us baby bloggers to play with.
Wannabee is not a good place to be. But that's what you get when you never make up your mind. Dilitante is the nice way to say it but it still amounts to the same thing. yea i have a creative "spirit" (whatever the hell that means - wannabee, that's what it means. My favorite people are artists, writers and musicians and I want to be one too. I've had a lifetime of dabbling, non-committal to a fault. When I was a kid I dabbled at music- piano; and was preety damn good(so my teacher said) - my mother bought me a baby grand when i was 13 and I stopped playing when I was 14. I took photography in college and I was preety damn good at that too, or so I was told, encouraged by a "real photographer". I let that fall by the wayside too. The piano playing fell by the wayside when I discovered dating, which started a long tradition of throwing things out the window for men. But in my defense I was also baton twirling and in an Adult Theatre group. Dabbling and spreading self too thin.
Then in college, well drugs definitely got in the way. The writing well that started in college - probably after passing the pipe. I still have a copy of the 1st poem I ever wrote. The handwriting even looks different than mine does now - childish.
And I've always been attracted to the artistic types and the tall, dark and handsome types (oh that's another post now isn't it). Well I guess I'm done whining - reminds me of a joke - i'll save that for Friday.

Public service announcements:

I was listed on Follow That Star's blog as a Rising Star- what a thrill that was. Please visit this most interesting and entertaining blog.

I will be starting a new set of links - Art sites
Some really fine artwork can be seen at Mary Sheehan Winn's Fine Art

I recently received a copy of Queen's Quarterly, which looks to be an interesting read. I found it online and if you visit you can sign up to receive a free copy of the publication.

And FYI: Recently on trip to Borders' we signed up for webspecial coupons and now receive coupons for 20,25 or 30% off of books and CD's. The other day when we were there and was going to purchase a book, I mentioned to the clerk that I forgot to print my coupon and he had one there that he scanned for me. When i got my receipt there was a coupon for 20%.

Happy Halloween

I think I've finally gotten over taking showers when no one is home. I don't know if I would feel that way if I didn't have my black lab guarding the door for me tho.

Day of rest

No day of rest here. We made it to the playoffs. I am cleaning frantically before we head off for a town I never heard of at least an hour from here, if I don't get lost like I usually do. I'm sorry that I bored all of you with my long list of ailments yesterday. Feeling much better after my 8 hrs. of sleep, so this is what you're supposed to feel like. Well we lost the game but they put up a good fight. The old adage about winning and losing and how you play the game definitely rang true today. Well since I didn't get my day of rest hopefully I'll get a night of rest.

Saturday Night Live

Saturday Night Dead would be more accurate. Too tired to blog really but I seem determined to finish my days of the weeks posts (and no I never had a set of those underwear). I had the worse night's sleep last night. I really need to have the animals sleep downstairs I think. A girl at work today told me that she read that people with pets get less sleep than those poor petless people.
Sleep deprivation seems to be reaching new levels here. Seems I can actually function (albeit poorly) on 4 hrs. Went to bed at 11:30 last nite and woke up around 3:30. I think it was when I tried to staighten out my legs and encountered my 90 lb black lab's body at the foot of the bed. But in all honesty it coulda been a hot flash that woke me, they are responsible for waking me countless times during the night. Then my 14 yr. old Maine Coon Cat usually gets in the act around this time of night when he decides he needs food because the 90lb black lab, Jackson, has eaten his food all day. I have to keep Dakota's( the cat) food in the bathroom and let him in & out all day. This is what I do when I am not letting the dog in and out of the backdoor, i mean out, I forgot he let's himself in (that's another post).

So anyway the cat is usually crying and I go feed him in the upstairs bathroom and get back in bed, then he comes crying to get in the bed and he settles down next to me and if I'm lucky I fall back to sleep(if I don't have something on my mind that is). Basically they drive me crazy all day and all night. Then last night the sciatica decided to act up and I lay there feeling that awful naggy pain shootin down my butt & leg. Oh did I mention the acid reflux (this is a new one, i never had that, i can eat hot food no problem but it could be from the mega ibuprofens i was taking for my bursitis in my shoulder or just generalilzed stress. I am a complete mess it seems. Honestly I am not a hypochondriac.
So just when I was fallin off to sleep about 7, the alarm goes off and I drag myself to work via Dunkin Donuts (don't know where i would be without them). I am exhausted from writing this. I'm going to bed! I mean sleep!

Joke Friday

Well I started the week with Manic Monday, followed by Terrible Tuesday, skipped humpday (wednesday) played instead and Thurs.I managed to change the template of my blog "all my myself", got rid of that awful white print and posted a saved draft about my favorite subject. Wish I was more computer savvy and could really change things but I will have to settle for just being able to get my links back for now. Anyway, I thought I would end the week with a joke(I used to know a few from when I was a bartender and then there are the ones I get sent- i'll see what I can come up with) and maybe start a new tradition here, I hope I don't offend anyone.

A recently divorced woman spent the day packing her belongings into boxes,crates, and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar,and abottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead
rodents and the carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung
everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during
which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to
work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench
any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut
their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return
their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank
to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things
were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the
moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.


Adventures with Luke

Last Saturday was a bad day for yard sales in New England;it was rainy and dreary. They've become like a tradition with us and since the season is just about over we went anyway. Nothing was found or bought but a good day for an adventure.
When we got to one yard sale there was a man in wheelchair struggling to get up the long drive. I asked him if I could help and he said yes, so I pushed him up the drive to the garage. I glanced at Luke ,taking up the rear and taking it all in, and I thought: Lessons learned not taught.
Next stop to get pumpkins. We do spend alot of time laughing at each other,especially in the car when I'm dancing to rap music. Luke thinks I'm a riot or idiot, I'm not sure. He complained that I have kidnapped him and I tell him " Yup I have". 1 for Mom.

Just for fun!

I wasn't actually tagged on this one,I found it on FTS blog inviting anyone who wants to play. I volunteered because I like to play and this one was easy and well I guess I already have cabin fever and I don't have anything else ready to post, if the truth be known. So anyone else who wants to play, please do.

Fill in the blank:

Feeling _____ (stressed.)

Listening to _____ (Rock & Roll - Dave Matthews and Sarah Macclaughlin

Am currently working on _____ (my blog, what else.)

Spent last night _____ (surfing blogs.)

Had breakfast of _____ (coffee and bagel.)

Missing _____ (my dad.)

Thinking of _____ (too much.)

Would love to _____ (be on an Island.)

Planning to _____ (keep on truckin.)

Wanting to _____ (be on an Island.)

Favourite time of the day is _____ (evening/quiet)

Really hate _____ ( prejudiced people)

Always wanted to play _____ (piano better or bass)

Dreaming of an _____ (island.)

Would love to French kiss _____ (don't know)

A dream come true is when _____ (I look out my window and see the ocean.)

Terrible tuesday

It is so cold in my house that I haven't taken my coat off and I've been home for over an hour. Raw, cold, gloomy weather we are having. Ya gotta love New England, or why else would you live here? I say that all the time, I don't know why we live here? And I don't know the answer other than maybe you were born here and have relatives here. The winters are long and cold and the summers short, hot and humid. Spring & Fall rainy. I don't know if I am going to post all week like this but it reminds me of what we say in our family about child developement: The terrible twos, the horrible threes followed by the fearsome fours. When they hit five ( the age of reason) they start Kindegarten and start learning something about The Rules and the consequences. I think I need to get outside, uh-oh I already have cabin fever and it's not even Halloween.

Manic Monday

I pulled myself out of bed today and dragged myself to work. My back hurt, felt kind of out, like it gets from time to time. I was tired from my usual lack of sleep and just plain not in a good mood. I felt physical, psychologically and emotional a little spent from all the drama on the homefront.
I was awfully glad to see all the junk food there: donuts and coffee cake, just what I needed- some sugar to go with my coffee to keep me going to lunchtime.

After lunch ,when I called in yet another patient to work up, I was a little surprised by what I saw. I've worked in the health care field for almost 20 years; everytime I have thought I've seen or heard it all something else has come along to further surprise me. The patient walking towards me was walking on metal artificial limbs, when he got into the room and sat in the exam chair I noticed that he had only one deformed hand showing, the other arm was hidden within the sleeve of his sweatshirt. On top of all this he suffered from psychosis, it said in his record. He came without much medical history and I couldn't imagine how all this had happened to him. But it did make me feel bad about all my complaining earlier.

The sunday funnies

Been too busy blog hopping and drafting of late to post anything. Growing up in NJ we used to call the comics in the Sun. paper "the funnies". It was the first and sometimes only thing I read and sometimes still is.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Happy Happy Joy Joy is an expression that I picked up from a friend of mine. We usually use it when we don't like whats going on, so i guess that doesn't count cause it's sarcasm. But I do think that we are reminding ourselves to "Be happy/joyful despite what is bringing us down. Remember that song "Be happy don't worry be happy", that was so catchy? It's playing in my head as I write this. Thanks Melly for tagging me and reminding me to look for the Joy.

I did a search of my blog for the word Joy- No Joy :( . There is also no happiness, delight, amusement or pleasure. This did not make me happy. But there was Happy. The first post with happy in it is my Happy Fourth of July post which is just the title and a picture of the Statue of Liberty that I took last April Vacation whenI was happily visiting NY with my son.

From my You say it's your birthday.... : Do whatever makes you happy! Dance in yr. b-day suit. Drink champagne for breakfast. Celebrate all day, all week, all month if you can get away with it. I'm gonna try.
(But I was definitely not happy when those yellowjackets charged me.)

From http://rlaban.blogspot.com/2005/07/baton-twirler-vs-bookworm_31.html : Just a picture of contradictions I am:Leo/Aquarius, the batontwirler/the bookworm, happy/sad.

From http://rlaban.blogspot.com/2005/07/meme-meme-meme.html ( my first tag).
Question number 4: If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?1. To see my son grow up and love what he does and have children.2. To have a job/career that I love; ie: be an artist (writer, musician or photographer). 3. Be happy
(If it only could be so easy)

So now let's see I am just tagging Patry :http://simplywait.blogspot.com/and Jeanettehttp://musingsofamiddle-agedwoman.blogspot.com/ if they want and anyone else who wants to.

By the way i can't seem to remember how to get these hyperlinks to just have the person's name or the post that I want to link to without having the entire url. See rules below.


Search your blog for the word "“joy" used in the context of "“happiness."” If you cannot find the word in your weblog, you may use any of the select list of synonyms below.

joy --— amusement, bliss, cheer, comfort, delectation, delight, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, exultation, exulting, felicity, gaiety, gladness, glee, good humor, gratification, happiness, hilarity, humor, jubilance, liveliness, merriment, mirth, pleasure, rapture, regalement, rejoicing, revelry, satisfaction, wonder

If your weblog does not include a built-in search engine, then you can use Google to search it only for the word you wish to find.

If you’ve found the word and it was not used facetiously or sarcastically, good for you. All you need to do is link to your earlier entry, and write a few words about that joyous moment. If, however, you have no joy (whole words only) in your weblog, you must dig deep in your soul and find something wonderful in your life right now. One little thing that fills you with warmth, that bubbles you over with quiet happiness, or tickles you with its good-hearted hilarity, or makes you glad you just took a breath, and are getting ready to take another. It doesn't have to be anything big. A smile someone gave you; your cat on your shoulder; the way the light angles through your window and casts rainbows on your floor. All it has to be is something genuine, something real, something that matters to you.

Because we all need joy in our lives, and need to take the time -- from time to time --— to recognize it. And sometimes, we need to pass it on.

Even if we're a big pain in the ass when we do.

When you'’ve dealt with your own joy, pass the quest on to five other bloggers.
http://www.blogger.com/:"> ">

LBD (Little black dress)

The wedding was nice, if you like weddings. I don't particularly and I don't know when this changed because I think I used to. I vaguely remember crying at them and smiling at the loving couple.
The dinner the night before was delicious and fun ; the restaurant overlooked the city - loved all the lights. Instead of getting my usual white wine I decided I wanted a festive cocktail; so after a little thought I came up with an Apple Martini. The waiter came back and informed me that they weren't making "martini's". I just said "Oh, well I saw someone drinking a Margarita?", at which he said," Do you want one of those?" but I didn't and I couldn't come up with anything else quickly so I just said "I'll have a chardonnay". Well much to my surprise the cute little waiter ( my new best friend) came back with the "Apple Martini". I think it was the best drink I've ever had. I only had the one and switched to red wine to go with the Filet Mignon. Unfortunately I found Apple Martini's and red wine don't go well, shoulda stuck with my usual white.

The best part of the wedding was the dancing and watching my 11 yr. old son learn some pretty wild dance moves from his crazy uncle. As for the LBD, I did find one that I fell in love with but the sticker shock prevented me from purchasing it. After much searching I found a real beauty on the sale rack and even found an incredible pair of shoes at payless that matched to a tee. The dress was this chocolate brown with tasteful beading and sequins and an equally tasteful sheer neckline and plunging back. Since brown seems to be the hot color right now I was so impressed that I was actually in style. The only problem was when I got to the wedding I saw that chocolate brown was the color that the bridesmaids were wearing. My stepdaughter joked that I looked like the mother of the bride in that dress but the mother of the bride had a completely different outfit of course. When I was in the ladies room, someone that I had met complimented me on the dress and then actually asked me if I color coordinated with the wedding. I wanted to scream, " are you completely insane?" If I had known I never woulda bought the sale dress but the cute LBD.
The best part of the trip was seeing my old friend even if just in between dinners and wedding. The 12 hr. ride home I could've done without. I never did get to explore 'my' new IBook; Luke was watching movies on it. Lots of people this weekend raved about the movie "Wedding Crashers", I will have to rent it now that the wedding trip is over.