I tried to edit out the Merry Xmas as I really liked this picture, but I'm not as smart as I look(actually the saying in our family is "you're not as dumb as you look".
But I do want to thank my small (but great) group of regulars for hanging out with me this year. Can't believe this is my 3rd New Years Eve here in Blogland. Last New Year's and the Year before that.
No big plans for tonight - just the usual Thai food with the boy - maybe the last one since he's now a teenager.
Hope you all have fun and see you next year!

Photohunters




This weeks theme: messy
oh this was an easy one.
In my defense the 1st photo of the island almost obliterated was after i spent the afternoon sorting thru bills and paperwork.
The 2nd one is my step-daughter's room (on a good day).
The last my beloved but messy desk.

Joke Friday

DON'T CALL HOME FOR MONEY!

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to
yell and scream,

"Where did you get that car?"

He calmly told them, "I bought it today."

"With what money?" demanded his parents.

We know what a Porsche costs.."

"Well," said the! boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."

So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like
that for fifteen dollars?" they asked.

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. don't know her
name-they
just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted
to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."

"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who
knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's
going on."

So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady
lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He
introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a
Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I
thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run
off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back.
He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send
him the money. So I did."

(Are women good or what?)

Photo hunters

This weeks theme: light





The first photo is of my favorite ornament - she was one of the first and survived a tree crashing but is missing her feet.

The second photo is of my Too Bright fake tree.

No Joke Friday

What a difference a sad event in someone's life makes.

GEORGE CARLIN (His wife recently died...)

Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate.

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've con quered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people....Who cares?

George Carlin

( my apologies to those faithful few who came looking for a laugh, but this was more appropiate for me today.)

Photo hunter

This weeks theme: Small




Joke Friday

A woman walks into the doctors office and says, doctor I hurt all over and the doctor says, "That's impossible
"No really!" she said, "Just look, when I touch my arm,ouch! it hurts.
When I touch my leg, ouch!, it hurts. When I touch my head, ouch!, it hurts.
When I touch my chest, ouch!!, it really hurts. she replies.
"The doctor just shakes his head and says, "You're a natural blond aren't you?
The woman smiles and says, "Why yes I am. How did you know?
The doctor replies, "Because, your finger is broken."

Photo hunter

Theme: Long



The first shot is my obvious entry for this week's theme. A long pier at Ft. Myers Beach in Fla. The second (close-up) is the better shot i think. Not bad for a point & shoot less than 4 mega pixel camera.

Joke Friday

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME…

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year. The male reindeer drop their antlers in the beginning of winter, usually by late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers until they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a female!

We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.



Merry Christmas to all you ladies!

Thanks Suzanne!

First night of Chanukah





On the first night of Chanukah my mother gave to me, nuh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh thing( because we forgot to light the lights - we're bad jews - as L. likes to say.)

On the second night of Chanukah my mother gave to me, a Ree-ee-ee--ee-ee-see's peanut butter cup.

The reason this is set to a Christmas carol is because after we lit the lights and had dinner, i finally practiced playing x-mas carols on the piano.

Neither of these pictures came out very good; i couldn't decide which to post because i thought the first one the better but the second has a reflection of Luke and my hand in the window.

Shalom

Women in Art



This is really cool!!

Photohunter

Theme: RED








You can get the t-shirt here

Joke Friday

THE NUN....

A nun is chatting with her Mother Superior. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it," says the young nun.

"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder nun.

"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."

"Is that when you swore?" "No, Mother," answers the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."

"Is THAT when you swore?"

"Well, no" says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"

"And THAT is surely when you swore?" says the amazed Mother.

"No, not yet." she answers. "As the eagle carried the squirrel away, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."

"Did you swear THEN?" asks Mother Superior, becoming impatient.

"No...the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole!"

The two nuns are silent for a moment.

Then Mother Superior sighs, "You missed the f______ putt, didn't you?

I've got nothing

Been looking for a meme to do. Really just want to crawl in bed and read (Kite Runner).

I did find a 5 weird/random facts meme going around the blogosphere but I already did a 10 weird facts one back in April , I could've just cheated and used 5 of those. Thank g-d Nablopomo is over tomorrow! and thankfully tomorrow is Joke Friday; so come back tomorrow when i have something.

Haiku Wednesday

Prayer


praying for my friend

operation is today

she will be okay

sgtrane

Hwo the barin wrkos
This is weird, but interesting! fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

Manic Monday

I hate Mondays. It starts on Sunday - i feel like i really can't enjoy Sunday knowing that i have to go to work the next day. Sometimes i even have trouble sleeping, thinking about the next day.
But today really wasn't bad at all, not manic by any means; really rather tame. No irate, irritating patients, no employees having a meltdown and other than my nagging dry cough that necessitated my having to suck on a lot of cough drops it was rather a pleasant Monday. Let's keep our fingers crossed for tomorrow.

Black Friday, Saturday and Sunday



World class shopper that I am, I am even tired of it already. I'm almost done though and I did save some $$, so I guess it was worth it. But like every year, I just can't wait til it's over. Speaking of over, five more days til Nablopomo is over! and not soon enough. Can't wait to go back to my slacker ways.

Photohunter

This weeks theme: Hot







The dried hot chile peppers on my pizza. And the not very hot looking flames of my gas stove.

Joke Friday

Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message, and slammed the door in their faces.
To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result -- the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again you need to move your cat."

Evidently I just cook once a year

I don't have many cookbooks because I don't really like to cook much. I do have this one, though that I've had- well let's just say a really long time. While doing my Thanksgiving prep i decided to get the sweet potato dish out of the way. Problem being i wasn't really sure how to make "candied sweet potatoes". In the past i've made this mashed version with marshmellows ( hope the boy doesn't notice i've gone and switched up the recipe).

This is my mom's recipe but the problem is, well mom wasn't much of a cook either and all i remember of her recipe is the can of yams and maple syrup and brown sugar.

So out comes my "Everything Cookbook" (seriously, that is the name of it.) I look up candied sweet potatoes and commence to make them. Later i go to mark the page with this nice piece of ribbon that is attaced to the book so that i can finish in the morning and I glance at the page that I last marked - Turkey Gravy.

Time to make the biscuits.

Happy Thanksgiving !!!!

Haiku Wednesday

First Haiku


Life is a journey

old cat sleeping on futon

road in the distance

Triptych



Manic Monday

Okay, let's see, how did this day go (i've been trying to forget since 5 o'clock)- pour me another glass of wine bartender. Well, the 1st patient tried my patients - she was just old ( i know, not kind - but you try doing this all day.) She even said, thanks for being so patient - see even she knew. i'd only been at work 25 min. and felt like i'd done 10 patients. I'm in no mood to recount the details so I will just skip to the last patient of the day - who really took the cake.

The SRB (spoiled rotten brat) came in with her mother with the complaint of not being able to see the blackboard. Oh, let me go back a minute to when i called them in and they were "shopping" in the optical shop before their exam. Long story short - she had almost perfect vision with a very slight optical error. So the doctor did not give her an Rx for glasses. I heard her complaining loudly at the desk on how "all of it looked blurry" or some such thing.
I wonder if it was coach or Calvin Klein that she had picked out.

How Mary got her groove back

except for the bad hair day and no heat. Went to visit my friend, Mary (on the right), at her annual open studio at her new studio today. A great example of when life hands you lemons - make lemonade. She had to vacate her much loved studio space earlier this year (kicking and screamin) but she landed on her feet. Way to go Marewheeeeeeeeee!!!

Photohunter

This week's theme:
I love______




my boy!

Joke Friday

Womens Fantasy: A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away fromhim. The young man noticed her overly attentive stare & walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring,the young man said to her, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition.' Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.' The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse & slowly counted out five $20 bills, which she pressed into the palm of the young mans hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Clean my house."

Meme oh meme

Oh G-d my blog is starting to look like a set of those days of the week underwear: Manic Monday, Existential Tuesday, Haiku Wednesday, Meme Thursday, Joke Friday, Photohunt Sat. and Weekend Update/Inspirational Sunday. What have I done??!!

Well thank goodness we are halfway there (to Nablopomo being over).

No meme for you today but a couple of cute blog tests - go take them and report back.

My Bloginality is ENTP!!!




Don't bother clicking on the above logo since I am hopeless at this html stuff and can't get it to work, here is the link to the blog readability test.

Haiku Wednesday

Vanquished

those storybook tales
they can't be duplicated
young girl's dream vanquished

Exitstential Tuesday

Day 13, how many more to go?

Maybe need to go pull up the exitentialist barstool for some new material. Well now is my chance, my boy is off an his 8th grade trip til Fri. (An outing is planned for Thurs. nite to a Chinese restaurant with Jazz music with an old friend - i'll report back.)

Thinking back on Manic Monday - which was rather tame - two patients come to mind:

One noticed that I was a lefty and we had a nice "lefty" discussion.

The other woman, when taking her medical history and i got to the tobacco & alcohol ??'s ,
answered ,"Vodka & Cranberry, but on Sun. my husband makes me a double bourbon manhattan- that's how i know what day it is. "

Quote of the day

"I like a good melodrama. People look down on it now, but I love that genre. A good melodrama is primal, intense stuff. It can be the stuff of life." Sidney Lumet

Weekend Update



They Won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
League Tournament Champions
20-0

(That's my boy, enjoying his 15 seconds of fame!)

Photohunter


This weeks theme: Flexible

We always Joke about our dog,Jackson, doing his Yoga out in the sun on the deck. I should be doing it with him. Also, notice the drool(click to enlarge) - i must've been eating something while i took the pic.

Joke Friday

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a
blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke,you should know something.Our bartender is blonde and the bouncer is blonde. I'm 6' tall,200-pound black belt veteran of the Special Forces.
The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The
fella to your right is 6'5:, pushing 300 pounds and he's a wrestler.
Each one of us is blonde. Think about it mister. You still wana tell that joke?"

The blind guy thinks for a, moment and replies, "Nah, not if I'm gonna
have to explain it five times."

Meme in the Middle

Found this meme over at Ipanema's awhile back (desperate times call for desperate measures - believe me not many people know my middle name)

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.

2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.

3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

M- Music- i love all kinds of music, blues, jazz, rock n roll, classical,folk(Dylan,Mitchell, Baez)even some Rap and Country .

I- Indecisive

N- Nice

D- Disorganized, disheartened

y- Young at heart

Tagging: Noelle, Liquid, Jona, Lorna, and Nova Dad

Haiku Wednesday

Fall

smoke rising above
red leaves falling to the ground
black dog by my side

Manic Monday

(posted on Tuesday)
It's 7:40 and i have to be at work at 8:00 and here i sit in my bathrobe. Good thing i only have to pull on a pair of scrubs,find a shirt to wear under my labcoat and lace up the sneaks; then onto my 5 min. beauty ritual: fire up the flat iron, slap some "product" on in an attempt to control the curl, straigten the bangs, throw on some makeup and out the door. Yes, i brushed my teeth and put on deoderant; i shower at night - no time in the morning - plus too cold. And luckily I'm working at the office that is only 10 min. from my house.

Well it was actually a very boring Monday, no memorable patients, moments or insights; so i thought i would link to another Manic Monday that was included in Grand Rounds awhile back.

List

Ok I'm glad to see i'm simplifying - with age comes... creaky bones.
(But if all else fails I can always refer to last years list.)


Fri. - Joke Friday (of course)
Sat.- Photo hunters (post a pic on a theme)
Sun. - G-d help me (weekend update,inspirational moments)
Mon. Just another manic monday (work post -pissin & moanin, occ.inspirational)
Tues. Existential angst ( just about anything)
Wed. Haiku Wednesday
Thur. Show & Tell (do a meme).

Note: Subject to change without notice.

Here we go again........




For those of you just joining... regular programing has just resumed. I've been forced into it. Ok i joined willingly; but it must've been in a weak moment or actually in a delusional one.

Ok, i did it last yr. i can do it again. i think i can, i think i can. (I'm talking about Nablopomo - post everyday for the month of November.) Why don't some of you out there join me. I know Noelle is doing it and Lee I think you should. C'mon we'll have a party when it's over; you might even win a prize.
Ok well now I need a list; last year i had a list-better start a list.
I'll be back with the list soon, i promise.

Photo hunter




This weeks theme: Classic

Very stormy here today. I had intented to take some pictures around my town of some of the classic New England facades but the weather forced me inside and my fireplace mantel was all i could come up with.

Joke Friday

( not really a joke- but cute)

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:!
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Guilty



If you look closely you can see that 2 out of 3 pumpkins are missing their stalks.
Hence the guilty look (ears back) on Mr. Jackson's face. Forgot to post this yesterday so since i'm still working on a plan for Nablopomo - Hasta luego baby.

Trick or Treat


No treats out here in the blogosphere, but for a trick you can play with the black cat over there >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(use yr. mouse).
Happy Halloween!!!!
anyone doing Nablopomo?

Chuckles the clown




" A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants"
Quote from Chuckles the clown of the Mary Tyler Moore Show fame.

His Obit:
The tragic death of Chuckles the clown crushed by an elephant while he was wearing a giant peanut suit as master of ceremonies of a parade.

Immortalizing a clown that never existed. I love it.
Possibly the best MTM show ever. The funeral scene where she gets the giggles is a classic.

(Found this is the ole drafts file, don't know where i was going with it (but what else is new). - i know my cousin & I were having a laugh about it last yr. before L's Bar Mitzvah - when we thought we might get a case of the giggles if a certain family member coughed throughout the ceremony - unfortunately/but luckily she didn't make it because i just know we wouldn't have been able to contain ourselves)

Photohunter





This weeks Theme: PINK

Remembered yesterday morning that i didn't even know what this weeks theme was- not good, i could've been on the lookout.

So the first shot is of some beach roses down the cape last summer.

The second of pink geraniums last year on my old grey deck.

The last one is a dog fence flag that i put in my garden in hopes of keeping the dog out - it worked.

Joke Friday

YOU'VE GOTTA LOVE DRUNK PEOPLE


A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.


"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.


"Who was that?" asked his wife.


"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.


"Did you help him?" she asks.


"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"


"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"


The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.


He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"


"Yes," comes back the answer.


"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.


"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.


"Where are you?" asks the husband.


"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk



(Thanks Suzanne!)

Yes!!!!



The Boston Redsox are once again the American League Champions!!!!!!! GO SOX!!!!!!!

I tried for about 10 minutes to find a picture of Papelbon doin his Riverdance victory dance but to no avail. I am too dog tired from staying up last nite. I had to drive my son to school late and dragged myself into work. I dont' think i was really awake til after lunch.

Timewaster

A phrase started years ago, by a good friend - we were the best little timewasters in the world (I would drop by for coffee in the morning, then before you knew it we'd be having lunch, next we'd decide to go downtown to this little coffee shop where they had the best chocolate cake in the world). The problem being is that i won that title as she has gone on to become a published writer.
And now along comes the internet - a bright and shiny new big timewaster or creative outlet depending on how you look at it.
I see people giving it up all the time - recognizing their addiction? need to do something real? "If it weren't for the Internet, I wouldn't have any friends at all". not true but as you get older how do you meet people (not on bar stools anymore) and the friends you do have, you never actually see cause everyone is too damn busy . At best you talk to them on the phone - another one of my personal favorite little timewasters cause it makes doing those mundane, boring chores more bearable. so where was i going with this? i dunno, just wastin s'more time, i suppose.

Practical

I just joined Photo hunter and this weeks prompt was Practical. I thought it was practical to put my new TV on this beautiful old chest and just drill a couple of holes in the back for all the wires. It was also nicer than any of the TV stands that I brought home and tried first. Found this at a furniture consignment store.

Joke Friday

How many members of the Bush administration does it take to replace a
lightbulb?

The answer is 10.

1. One to deny that a lightbulb needs to be changed;
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the lightbulb needs
to be changed;
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the lightbulb;
4. One to tell the nations of the world that they either favor changing
the lightbulb or support darkness;
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the
new lightbulb;
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing
on a step ladder under the banner "Lightbulb Change Accomplished";
7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in
detail how Bush was literally "in the dark";
8. One to viciously smear #7;
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has
had a strong lightbulb-changing policy all along;
10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between
screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.

Handsome

Look at that face

Bye Bye love, bye bye sweet embrace, hello emptiness

i absolutely hate the end of summer.



Joke Friday

Subject: pastor and his donkey
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.
The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, Posted the following headline:
NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the headlines read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free. The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
Alas ... The Bishop was buried the next day.
MORAL OF THE STORY??? Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer.

Morning & the beast



Joke Friday

Careful what you ask for.........

Living Will:

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said
to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some

machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the
plug."

She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer.

Bitch...

Go Sox!!!!