This weeks theme: Furry
9 years ago
Joke Friday
She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in.As I walked in almost awake she turned and said softly, 'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'
My eyes lit up and I thought, 'I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.' Not wanting to lose the moment I embraced her and then gave it my all right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her t-shirt still around her neck.
A little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?'
She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'
Women are very mean.
If I could turn back time
I would get on that train
Take away the pain
Hold your hand in mine
Dry your tears
Carry you with me
Everywhere I go
Show you the way
The way out of here
(for Suzanne)
On the boardwalk
It's all about the food!
(Found this in my drafts file, the editor wanted to delete it but i liked the memories of summer.)
Joke Friday
You know the joke about the guy who goes to the White House and tells the guard that he must see President Bush? The guard says that Bush is no longer president and doesn’t live there any longer. The next day the guy returns with the same question, and the guard gives him the same answer. This is repeated all week. Finally, after the 6th or 7th time of telling the man that Bush isn’t president and doesn’t live there any longer, the guard says to the guy, “why do you come here every day asking the same question?” The guy replies “Oh, I just love hearing the answer!”
Joke Friday
Things Got Ya' Down? Well, Then, Consider These ..
In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the war d to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.
Still Having a Bad Day????The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
Still think you are having a Bad Day????A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric ke ttle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.Are Ya OK Now?
- No? Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
God is good!
There now, Feeling Better?
Suzanne (aka Liquid)
has been on my mind since Saturday when I learned of her death. I hated just having to write that-maybe that is why it's been so hard for me to even write about her. The mind seems to travel from shock.. to disbelief .. to denial. It's just unacceptable, can't be/why?why? this remarkable woman gone. Selfishly I think I will never meet her now. I had fantasized about meeting her someday - of taking a train down South; of the train pulling up into her small sleepy town. I imagined us sharing a glass of wine or two and talking into the night; maybe even dancing around the living room. I felt we were kindred spirits. Both born under the astrological sign of Leo (both enjoyed photography and poetry and music). We seemed to have alot in common- we both had children that we adored and black labs - hers a girl, mine a boy and difficult marriages. We gave each other bloggy awards, sent email jokes/videos alot and even exchanged a couple of personal emails and phone numbers, tho we never spoke on the phone.
Today, when I was walking thru the mall, back to Sears to get my car I heard a sad song playing and I thought of Suzanne again and felt sad again ; then at the exact same time I looked up as i was passing the pet shop and saw this puppy taking a crap right in the front window and thought now that would be a good picture and thought did Suzanne arrange that to make me think of her taking that picture and posting it on her blog - to make me smile when I think of her. maybe someday in the future I will, but right now I am still sad on losing this friend, this friend that I never "actually" met but who I did. And if there is an afterlife, I want the stool next to her so we can have that cool one and finally meet and have our talk.
Suzanne, till then. I will miss you.
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