Oceanunhappiness runsdeep as the ocean's bottomcan you see the sky
There is a good argument for having "you can't see the sky" as the last line. Same syllables, darker outlook.
i also was going to use can you see the sky? rhetorical question?
deep darkness in such festive times? :(
sky- yup no holiday spirit here yet. lee - i changed it but i you're right - i might change it again.
That is sadly beautiful. And it's right where I am this holiday season.And I like "can you see the sky." I read it as a question: can the reader see the sky when you the writer cannot? It's like a plea for hope-if someone else can see the sky maybe one day you'll see it again, too. Or even an indictment-how unfair it is that others can see sun and clouds when you cannot. Or maybe it's a little of both.
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