when the spirit moves me : Haiku tuesday

On 7:18 PM Copyrighted by rdl in haiku

Ocean

unhappiness runs
deep as the ocean's bottom
can you see the sky

Lee said...: There is a good argument for having "you can't see the sky" as the last line. Same syllables, darker outlook.; 7:33 PM, December 10, 2008
rdl said...: i also was going to use
can you see the sky? rhetorical question?; 7:43 PM, December 10, 2008
Sky said...: deep darkness in such festive times? :(; 8:35 PM, December 11, 2008
rdl said...: sky- yup no holiday spirit here yet.
lee - i changed it but i you're right - i might change it again.; 9:07 PM, December 11, 2008
musingwoman said...: That is sadly beautiful. And it's right where I am this holiday season.

And I like "can you see the sky." I read it as a question: can the reader see the sky when you the writer cannot?

It's like a plea for hope-if someone else can see the sky maybe one day you'll see it again, too. Or even an indictment-how unfair it is that others can see sun and clouds when you cannot.

Or maybe it's a little of both.; 5:30 AM, December 13, 2008