Haiku tuesday

in

Ocean

unhappiness runs
deep as the ocean's bottom
can you see the sky

5 comments:

Lee said...

There is a good argument for having "you can't see the sky" as the last line. Same syllables, darker outlook.

rdl said...

i also was going to use
can you see the sky? rhetorical question?

Sky said...

deep darkness in such festive times? :(

rdl said...

sky- yup no holiday spirit here yet.
lee - i changed it but i you're right - i might change it again.

musing said...

That is sadly beautiful. And it's right where I am this holiday season.

And I like "can you see the sky." I read it as a question: can the reader see the sky when you the writer cannot?

It's like a plea for hope-if someone else can see the sky maybe one day you'll see it again, too. Or even an indictment-how unfair it is that others can see sun and clouds when you cannot.

Or maybe it's a little of both.