Joke Friday

A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now you probably won't remember, but I'm afraid you were in a pile-up
on the motorway. You're going to be OK, you'll walk again, everything
seems to be OK, but there is a bit of bad news and I'm going to break
it to you as gently as I can. Your Willy was chopped off in the wreck
and we were unable to find it.'

The bloke groans a bit (as you do) but the doctor goes on, 'We've
checked your insurance and you've actually got up to £9,000
compensation coming to you and the good news is that we have the
technology now to build you a new Willy that will work just as well as
your old one, better in fact.

But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It is one thousand pounds an inch.'
The bloke perks up a bit at this (as you would.) 'So it's a simple
decision,' the doctor says, 'you need to decide how many inches you want.

But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you
had a five inch Willy before and you decide to go for a nine inch Willy now, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inches before and you decide only to invest in a five inches now, she might be a bit disappointed.
So it's important that you consult with her to help you make the decision.'
So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day.
'So' he says, 'have you spoken with your wife?'
'I have.' says the chap.
'And has she helped you to make the decision?'

'Yes, she has' he says.
'And what is the decision?' asks the doctor.

'We're having a new kitchen.'