This weeks theme: Flags
9 years ago
Eight minus Jon or Kate
Ok I succumbed and watched them make a spectacle of themselves(oh yeah that's what they always do).
I called a friend to chat and she said she had to go cause her family wanted to watch "Jon & Kate +, so I joked, "ok tell them they've reached a new low".
I never really followed it (not a big fan of reality tv anyway) but the few times I caught some of it channel surfing - i always thought "that guy looks miserable - detached". So it was not much of a surprise to me when there was trouble in river city or PA.
So I hung up and decided to watch. I thought it was depressing (cept for the cute kids in their new play houses) and very repetitive. I kept wondering why they kept repeating things- to emphasize or fill the hour? I think those repeats should've been on the clipping floor/edited out not repeated.
I guess now it really is reality tv.
Personally I got some news of the same last night from someone in my family. They(the parents) also are going to move in & out and let the kid stay in the house and not have to shuttle between 2 houses. And another family member just split (separate abodes) last month. It seems to be becoming the norm. Ozzie & Harriet and The Cleavers seem like a hundred years ago now- oh it almost was!
Joke Friday
It has been determined, the most used
sexual position for married couples is
a doggie position....
The husband sits up and begs.
The wife rolls over and plays dead.
Joke Friday
A BOTTLE OF WINE - - - - A TOUCHING STORY ALL WOMAN WILL ADORE
For all of us who are married, were married, wish
you were married, or wish you �weren't married, this
Is something to smile about the next time you see a
bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business
trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly
Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped
the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like
a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into
the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make
a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old
woman just sat silently, looking �intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail,
until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to
Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's
a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or
two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder,
she said:
'Good trade .
Joke Friday
Fw: Secret of Happiness:
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"
"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all.."
"That is absolutely amazing!
How old are you?"
"Thirty-four," she replied.
Joke Friday
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for
a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to
the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome ? Why would any-
one want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy
to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great
rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible
airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly,
and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber
River , called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks
it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really
a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see
the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million
other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to
need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The
hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .
"It was wonderful." explained the woman, "Not only were
we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it
was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The
food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome
28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. The
hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling
job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too,
were overbooked. So, they apologized and gave us their
owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good,
but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the
Vatican , a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and
explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors.
If I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait,
the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through
the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a
few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
He said, "Who fucked up your hair?"
Meme oh meme
A 40 question meme I came across somewhere this past winter, that i just now found in drafts. I usually do a meme in winter, but instead of hitting the delete button - here it is.
1. My uncle once: married and Israeli woman and moved to Israel.
2. Never in my life: have I been to: Morocco (but i'd like to and Italy and Hawaii and ...).
3.When I was five: I was bestfriends with Tommy Sweeney.
4.High School was: fun but difficult to get through.
5. I will never forget: giving birth
6.I once met: George Burns and Bill Cosby(actually i waited on them both, separate occasions)
7. There’s this girl I know who: irritates the sh-t out of me.
8. Once, at a bar: oh i wish it was just once.
9. By noon, I’m usually: just feeling good and awake.
10. Last night: I iced my stupid knee for the umpteenth time.
11. If only I had: it to do over.
12. Next time I go to church: will be when someone dies or gets married
13. Â Terry Schiavo: a pity.
14. What worries me most: most everything that worries me.
15. When I turn my head left, I see: The TV.
16. When I turn my head right, I see:The closed wooden blind on the window.
17. You know I’m lying when: I can’t look you in the eye.
18. What I miss most about the eighties: bad music
19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be: Juliette
20. By this time next year: I will be independently wealthy (hopefully).
21. A better name for me would be:______ (fill in the blank, but be nice.)
22. I have a hard time understanding: people who hate people who are different.
23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: do something creative.
24. You know I like you if: I give you the time of day.
25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: whoever helped me
26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: have nothing in common
27. Take my advice, never: say never
28. My ideal breakfast is: a croissant and coffee
29. A song I love, but do not own is: River by Joni Mitchell
30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: a Petridis'hot dog with mustard & sauerkraut.
31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: dis objects
32. Why won’t people: get along
33.If you spend the night at my house: we'll drink lots of wine, eat something delicious and talk alot.
34. I’d stop my wedding for: hmmmm
35. The world could do without: hate and intolerance.
36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lick the belly of a cockroach? no way!
37. My favorite blonde is: Golide Hawn or Meg Ryan
38:Â Paper clips are more useful than: rubber bands
39. If I do anything well, it’s: Tell a joke
40. And by the way: Be careful out there.
No tags; but if anyone is foolish enof to do this - leave a link in comments.
Joke Friday
Summary of Life
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second
person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polk a-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . . Having money.
At age 50 success is . .. . Having money.
At age 70 success is . . . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . Not piddling in your pants
Joke Friday
Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, And every year Buddy would say, 'Edna,I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' Edna always replied, 'I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, And fifty bucks is fifty bucks'
One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said, 'Edna, I'm 85 years old... If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' To this, Edna replied, "Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.''
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.' Buddy and Edna agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Buddy and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Buddy replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, But you know, "Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
