Joke Friday

THE ITALIAN TOMATO GARDEN

An Old Italian man lived alone in the country
He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard
work as the ground was
hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was
in prison. The old man
wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't
be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting
too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my
troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to
dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.


Dear Dad,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the
bodies.
Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police
arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man
received another letter from his son.


Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I
could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie

On the road again

Should be asleep. Having my usual pre-trip jitters. just polished off the ice cream so i'll be headin to bed soon.
Off to Montreal in the morning for a quick trip with #1 son and a youth group from temple. I'm the chaperone- shaking my head in disbelief on that one.
Now i'm wondering if there's anyone from blogland living in Montreal; I know some of you are Canadian but don't know the different areas at all.
Well, I'm not looking forward to the 7 hrs. in the car - 4/5 seems to be my limit; but the boy is excited about his first time out of the country and i'm sure it will be fun, once we get there.

Joke Friday

The Cardiologist's Funeral

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following
the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then
closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes
stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral..... I'm a gynecologist." At this point the urologist fainted...

Homework assignment

I don't know why but this morning standing on the side porch waiting for the wave from my 13 yr. old son that means the other kid is at the bus stop so that I don't have to fear for his abduction (when exactly will i stop fearing that?). anyway he was telling me about the last book that he just finished in a series that he devoured( no pun intended - it was about vampires - Cirque du Freak). I told him he would have to tell me about it at the beach this summer since this is his next to last day of school. And for some reason some books came flooding in my head. One of them was The Magus by John Fowles that I read ions ago. I remember that I really liked it but never really "got" it. anyone out there that read it, got it or not, and would like to right a bookreport. I'm an eary marker.

PS: i do realize that this should be edited but that would make me even later for work.
Ciao

Joke Friday

BIRTHDAY REMEMBRANCE

This week we celebrate a special birthday: Monica Lewinsky turned 31.
Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling
around the White House on her hands and knees and putting everything
in her mouth.

They grow up so fast, don't they?

fives

(Found this in the draft folder from last year and actually didnt' change a thing, so i guess it's true.)

Don't know whose blog I found this on and I think I might have done it before but hey, desperate times call for desparate measures.

1.5 things I would do if I were a millionaire
* buy a new "green"/hybird car and truck(for dump runs and the beach).
* Have a huge Bloggers convention/party
* Actually take some piano lessons.
* Take an extended vacation aka around the world
* Two words: plastic surgery

2. 5 bad habits
* procrastinating
* Drink too much wine
* Waiting until the last minute to do things
* sleep too little
* Eating poorly or too much

3. 5 things I hate doing
* Working out, although I know i need to.
* Going out in the cold.
* Vacuuming
* Dusting
* Mopping

4. 5 things I would never do
* Wear a fur
* Jump out of an airplane
* Crocodile hunt
* Run for political office
* Sing the national anthemn at a ball game

5. 5 things I regret doing
* Dropping out of college
* Working in the restaurant business 1/2 my life
* Staying at my present job that I don't like anymore
* Not making a decision
* Not finding my way

6. 5 favorite toys or things.
* PC
* Laptop
* my son's Ipod
* digital camara
* cell phone? nah - pizza

ok you know what to do.

Joke Friday

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises,
two black eyes, and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?"

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a
difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to
look for them and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows
had something white in its rear end."

I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball
with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the
cow's butt."

"Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!"

I don't remember much after that...

Musical Intelligence

Always a sucker for a quiz, i found this "Dominant Intelligence" one over at Ipanema's . I was just happy to find that I still had some. Who knew? My results were apprepo as I've been thinking my next career move should be to Lounge Lizard - playing piano at a piano bar. I knew i should've taken one of those aptitude tests long ago.

Go have fun and be sure to post yr. results.

Your Dominant Intelligence is Musical Intelligence

Every part of your life has a beat, and you're often tapping your fingers or toes. You enjoy sounds of all types, but you also find sound can distract you at the wrong time. You are probably a gifted musician of some sort - even if you haven't realized it. Also a music lover, you tend to appreciate artists of all kinds. You would make a great musician, disc jockey, singer, or composer.

http://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href= Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Here's a link to the test.

Vivid memory

I have this vivid memory of sitting on the steps of this boarding house, where we stayed summers when i was a kid, and looking down into the living room. The grownups were having a party and they'd sent us kids up to bed. I can picture myself sitting on the very top of the steps before the spindles started and trying to peek down through them and Ida ( the owner of the boarding house) saying "she's still up?" to my mother and my mother coming up to tell me to go to bed.

Was it that i feel left out or just curious about the adults ?

What's a childhood memory of yours?

Joke Friday

A guy goes to a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from, so he says "Do you know me?" to which she replies "I think you're the father of one of my kids."Now he thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My god, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my ass with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt?" She said, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."