Joke Friday

Blonde LOGIC

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking . and oneblonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ....Florida or the moon?"The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanicher car died.After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKETA police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her verynicely if he could see her license.She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect meto show it to you!"
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICEA gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said thather body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed,then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed herknee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made herscream.The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde.""I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken"

KNITTINGA highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was obliviousto his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down hiswindow,turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!""NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. TheRussiansaid, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook theirheads."You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. Sherolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,can you hear it?"She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and seesanother blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shoutsback, "You ARE on the other side."

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two newdogs,and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?""HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs