This weeks theme: entertainment
9 years ago
Funk
I was working on a list of excuses why i haven't been blogging:
vaca or lack of
mulch
dog hit by car
too humid
this upstairs guest bedrm/den/computer room too damn hot to be in
uninspired/ i got nothing
sad/depressed (what else is new - go take your prozac woman). do i have to add schizophrenia now too?
and then everytime i came to my blog to get to your blogs i'd see those rocks and think:
my blog is on the rocks
my marriage is on the rocks
my teenager hates me one minute and thinks i'm funny/kinda cool briefly(very occasionally).
i hate my job
our pets heads are falling off (from dumb & dumber) nevermind
so excuses and guilt aside i think the one word title of this alleged post sums it up pretty good.
Now i wonder how many hits i will get from search engines thinking i typed in a slightly different word.
Sabbatical
Subtitle: I've lost that loving feeling.
Since this has been looking like an abandoned blog of late, I thought I would offer some sort of explanation (excuse)- i never did figure out how to do those clever dash throughs.
Well, first there was the mulching - i finally broke down and had some delivered after it finally stopped raining for 40 days and 40 nites. I hate mulch - i hate paying for it and i hate spreading it! and i still haven't finished spreading it!
Then there was just the doldrums i seemed to be in - why?? lack of summer weather - haven't even been to the beach yet this year! And still no plans for my vacation which starts tomorrow afternoon. Tho i've already had us to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon and the Outer Banks in NC. When i found out it was 110 in Vegas and possibly Arizona too, not to mention the cost of the trip - i reconsidered. Then the 14 hr. drive to NC started weighing me down and the threat of more crazy weather in the East. So coming full circle in true RDL fashion we were back to our backyard- well the Cape - just a bit down the road a piece. Then came the brainstorm to finally get the wood floors refinished that are badly in need of it. I actually found a place that would rent to dog owners - it looked like a cute little beachy apt. over the garage in Wellfleet - a beautiful part of the Cape. The boys prefer mid cape and the resort place with pools and things to actually do. Just when we had settled on that plan, my dog got hit by a car(UPS truck) today! he's ok(scrapes) but suddenly the plan started unraveling. My brother-in-law finally got in touch and won't be available to dog sit the whole week. The weather appears to be continuing on it's non-summer like course so i am not disappointed at all that the plan fell thru. why pay $$ to stay at a place not as nice as mine(albeit the pool/resort atmosphere) in bad weather. So day/wkend trips it'll be then. Anybody got a place to rent?
Joke Friday
Two church members were going door to door, and
knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to
see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she
did not want to hear their message, and slammed the
door in their faces.
To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in
fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her
back into it, and slammed the door again with the same
result -- the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their
foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that
would teach them a lesson, when one of them said,
"Ma'am, before you do that again you need to move your
cat."
Eight minus Jon or Kate
Ok I succumbed and watched them make a spectacle of themselves(oh yeah that's what they always do).
I called a friend to chat and she said she had to go cause her family wanted to watch "Jon & Kate +, so I joked, "ok tell them they've reached a new low".
I never really followed it (not a big fan of reality tv anyway) but the few times I caught some of it channel surfing - i always thought "that guy looks miserable - detached". So it was not much of a surprise to me when there was trouble in river city or PA.
So I hung up and decided to watch. I thought it was depressing (cept for the cute kids in their new play houses) and very repetitive. I kept wondering why they kept repeating things- to emphasize or fill the hour? I think those repeats should've been on the clipping floor/edited out not repeated.
I guess now it really is reality tv.
Personally I got some news of the same last night from someone in my family. They(the parents) also are going to move in & out and let the kid stay in the house and not have to shuttle between 2 houses. And another family member just split (separate abodes) last month. It seems to be becoming the norm. Ozzie & Harriet and The Cleavers seem like a hundred years ago now- oh it almost was!
Joke Friday
It has been determined, the most used
sexual position for married couples is
a doggie position....
The husband sits up and begs.
The wife rolls over and plays dead.
Joke Friday
A BOTTLE OF WINE - - - - A TOUCHING STORY ALL WOMAN WILL ADORE
For all of us who are married, were married, wish
you were married, or wish you �weren't married, this
Is something to smile about the next time you see a
bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business
trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly
Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped
the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like
a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into
the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make
a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old
woman just sat silently, looking �intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail,
until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to
Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's
a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or
two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder,
she said:
'Good trade .
Joke Friday
Fw: Secret of Happiness:
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"
"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all.."
"That is absolutely amazing!
How old are you?"
"Thirty-four," she replied.
Joke Friday
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for
a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to
the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome ? Why would any-
one want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy
to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great
rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible
airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly,
and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber
River , called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks
it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really
a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see
the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million
other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to
need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The
hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .
"It was wonderful." explained the woman, "Not only were
we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it
was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The
food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome
28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. The
hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling
job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too,
were overbooked. So, they apologized and gave us their
owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good,
but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the
Vatican , a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and
explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors.
If I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait,
the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through
the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a
few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
He said, "Who fucked up your hair?"
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