Mama never said ....

I went in today for what i thought was a "routine" test. It was for an ultrasound of my breast. I've been down this road before - being the lucky recipient of "dense" breasts ( not dumb/ thick? never mind) and also bearing a family history of breast cancer in my mother.

I've had 3 surgical biopsies - all benign thank g-d and 1 needle aspiration.
A few weeks ago i had my first breast MRI - now that was an experience - i thought for sure a man invented this machine, but i was told differently.
It was actually more comfortable than having a mammogram. But it surpassed the ridiculousness quota - instead of having your boobs smashed between two plates of Plexiglas while standing, you got to crawl up on this stretcher and lay on your belly with your boobs suspended in air through 2 holes in the table. then they push you into the machine and it makes alot of noise and then they inject some dye and it makes some more noise - no big deal.

But then i got the call to come in for an ultrasound and i thought "you got to be kidding me - i thought the MRI would trump an ultrasound any day; but evidently the MRI picks up on the "something" and then the Ultra/ultrasound goes and pinpoints it. That's where the trouble began - the very nice tech tells me she's "just going to get the Radiologist to look at it, "do i want a magazine?". No thanks, I'll just dwell on some other problems for awhile.

So in she comes,takes a look and tells me that there are these two areas of ?? a mass as in not a cyst that need to be biopsied and that they can do it right now. I shakily agree and the next thing i know this hypodermic of Novocaine is comin at me as i ask are they sure they don't have any Valium around here? I happen to glance at the clock - it's 2 o'clock - damn i forgot i'm supposed to pick up my son at his drum lesson at 2:30. They tell me the procedure won't be long and i know he's safe hanging outside the school waiting for me ( like i haven't been late before).
When it's over i call him and tell him to walk up to the library to wait for me, cause they're not through with me yet and i'm about 40 min. away.

I go out to the waiting area with my ice pack to sit with the other ladies in their johnny's. (someone definitely needs to redesign these babies ( how bout some velcro?)
Next they do a mammogram to check on these ? markers they left in there ( i wonder if i'm going to go off the next time i fly?) i guess they're for "in case" they have to go back in, find and take out what they biopsied.
I think i'm giving too much information here - too clinical. I better go look for the Tylenol.
Mama never said there'd be days like this. Poor mama.

Blue Hyacinth and red jello

Well the highlight of my day was visiting my best friend in the hospital. For the few hours that i spent with her I felt like this is just where i belong; unlike when i returned home. I left home still angry with my step-daughter for her disturbing/disruptive ways. Since i am in a between reading a novel stage, and since i thought i need a book to distract me from my thoughts i brought along "Plan B- Further thoughts on Faith" by Annie Lamott - i love her! She was just the ticket - i am really glad that i went back home and got the book, when i realized that i had forgot it in my haste to get out of the house (of dread & gloom). Funny thing happened tho - after stopping at the store to pick up a plant - a blue & pink & white hyacinth ( i thought since she can't eat, she can feast her eyes and smell the wonderful scent.) When i parked the car in the garage to get on the "T"(subway) into Boston, i was juggling my purse, book, water and plant I dropped the book and bent to pick it up just as a car was turning the corner. I thought to myself - hmmph is this Plan B - put me out of my misery right here in this parking garage?
But i did make the right choice of reading material for my ride - just what the doctor ordered - some pearls of wisdom that seemed to be talking right to me.

When I got to Boston and to the hospital, i smiled as i remembered my old neighborhood, stomping grounds, and place of employment. I got on the elevator with a group of 4 Black young men - smelling faintly of marijuana - i wondered if maybe i could get a contact high and if some of their mellowness might rub off on me.

When i reached my friend's room she was asleep and looked a little pale and frail in that hospital bed. I was glad when she opened her beautiful blue eyes and after some conversation i saw some color come back into her cheeks.
My dear, wonderful friend, i hated seeing her in that bed but know that she is now on the mend and will soon again amaze us with her words, wisdom and wonderful way.
As i said as i left her side, "I love you."
Oh and thanks for the red jello ( and the memories).

Too angry for words

I walked around Disney contemplating  posts or at least titles and ideas but now this title says it all. I considered just posting the title but I will get back with more after I put out some fires and do that pile of laundry.  I do want to pick the winner of my contest below (contest now closed) but I'm having a little soiree (ladies jewelry party) tmrrw. nite and i must clean my house, cook! and work a 1/2 day tmrrw. or I would take the short (45 min.) drive to Patry's to get the winner's autographed copy.  I will pick/post the winner this weekend tho - promise. 

Is this my midlife crisis?

Today i got up begrudgingly, like i always do. Why is it that I can always sleep at 6:30 AM when the alarm goes off, but not at 2AM? Today though was going to be different. I had an interiew for a job today. A new job, a job I was excited about. I had laid out clothes the night before. I even packed up makeup to take with me to work. And after work i went into the bathroom and changed out of my scrubs and sneakers and into some "street clothes" and my stylish high heel boots. I even touched up my makeup and fixed up my hair. I walked into that interiew confidant and I think I pulled it off; we'll see at the end of the week - he said they'd call by Friday - Monday the latest for the 2nd string of interviews.

It's going to be a long week.

Bar Mitzvah Central

R. Laban


Really, I've been wanting to post, but it seems all I do is run around, mostly in circles. The boy, turned 13 last week and next week is his Bar Mitzvah. It seems much more work than my wedding was. Both about the same size - 38 people. But for my wedding all i remember doing was choosing the dress, the menu and the piano player.
This has involved umpteem trips to walmart and the party store and I still have upteem things to do. Not to mention working on the program, centerpieces, prizes, playlists (no DJ) - well son is working on that mostly. Next week will not be fun but hopefully it will all go smoothly next Sat.