broke a stupid holiday tradition tonite. I wrapped a few presents. We never wrap anything until xmas eve. And that is after dinner, dessert and much wine. This probably got started because i'm usually shopping up until xmas eve. wanting to see what i had bought/what we had/what we needed. Now, i just don't care anymore; whatever it is, it is. I've actually been done for days. I'm even considering baking - i haven't done that since my son was little & i'd make sugar cut-out cookies with him for Santa.
I'm not much of a cook, so i always thought baking was for the experts and why compete with the beautiful, yummy stuff you can get at the bakery.
maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks.
Joke Friday
Mad Wife Disease...... "What was that for?" he asked. "That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it," she replied. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura "Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a good explanation." Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, "What the hell was that for?" She replied......."Your horse called."
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on,"
He explained
Joke Friday
When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.
The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
Maybe this will explain.
Joke Friday
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
Sunday Sampler
I've posted this list before, but I love it, so am supplying it again. I read it in a biography of the English writer Sydney Smith, in Hesketh Pearson’s The Smith of Smiths. In 1820, Smith wrote a letter to an unhappy friend, Lady Morpeth, in which he offered her tips for cheering up. I have my own variety of tips lists for cheering up, and I was interested to hear what someone from two centuries ago would recommend. Most of Smith's suggestions are as sound now as they were almost 200 years ago -- "attend to the effects tea and coffee produce upon you" for example, is thoroughly modern. A few, though, are amusingly odd. It might be tougher today to work "good blazing fires" into everyday life. My favorites are #1, 3, 6, 13, 15, 16, and 17. “1st. Live as well as you dare. What rings true for you?From the Happiness Blog
I like them all but especially #'s 4,5,6,7, & 11; but not #12!
Nineteen Tips for Cheering Yourself Up -- from 200 Years Ago.
2nd. Go into the shower-bath with a small quantity of water at a temperature low enough to give you a slight sensation of cold, 75 or 80 degrees.
3rd. Amusing books.
4th. Short views of human life—not further than dinner or tea.
5th. Be as busy as you can.
6th. See as much as you can of those friends who respect and like you.
7th. And of those acquaintances who amuse you.
8th. Make no secret of low spirits to your friends, but talk of them freely—they are always worse for dignified concealment.
9th. Attend to the effects tea and coffee produce upon you.
10th. Compare your lot with that of other people.
11th. Don’t expect too much from human life—a sorry business at the best.
12th. Avoid poetry, dramatic representations (except comedy), music, serious novels, melancholy, sentimental people, and everything likely to excite feeling or emotion, not ending in active benevolence.
13th. Do good, and endeavour to please everybody of every degree.
14th Be as much as you can in the open air without fatigue.
15th. Make the room where you commonly sit gay and pleasant.
16th. Struggle by little and little against idleness.
17th. Don’t be too severe upon yourself, or underrate yourself, but do yourself justice.
18th. Keep good blazing fires.
19th. Be firm and constant in the exercise of rational religion.
20th. Believe me, dear Lady Georgiana.”
Dreams
Joke Friday
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking,
but how old do you think I am
'About 32,' is the reply.'
'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same
question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'
The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the
street.She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the
clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30...'
Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man
waiting next to her the same question. He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78
and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there
was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are...'
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the
best of her..
She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay.....How old am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,
'Madam, you are 50.'
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'
The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'
'I promise I won't' she says.
'I was behind you at McDonalds.'