Joke Friday

Subject: FW: IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVISORY FOR WOMEN

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.

White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.


NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!!!

Yes We Can

(Thanks to my son for finding this on the Internet and sending it to me.)

The Yes We Can Song
by will.i.am

I was sitting in my recording studio watching the debates...
Torn between the candidates

I was never really big on politics...
and actually I’m still not big on politics...
but 4 years ago, me and the black eyed peas supported Kerry...
And we supported Kerry with all our might...
We performed and performed and performed for the DNC...
doing all we could do to get the youth involved...

The outcome of the last 2 elections has saddened me...
on how unfair, backwards, upside down, unbalanced, untruthful,
corrupt, and just simply, how wrong the world and "politics" are...

So this year i wanted to get involved and do all i could early...

And i found myself torn...
because this time it’s not that simple...
our choices aren’t as clear as the last elections ...
last time it was so obvious...
Bush and war
vs
no Bush and no war...

But this time it’s not that simple...
and there are a lot of people that are torn just like i am...

So for awhile I put it off and i was going to wait until it was decided for me...

And then came New Hampshire...

And i was captivated...

Inspired...

I reflected on my life...
and the blessings I have...
and the people who fought for me to have these rights and blessings...

and I’m not talking about a "black thing"
I’m talking about a "human thing" me as a "person"
an American...

That speech made me think of Martin Luther King...
Kennedy...
and Lincoln...
and all the others that have fought for what we have today...

what America is "supposed" to be...

freedom...
equality...
and truth...

and thats not what we have today...
we think we are free...
but in reality terror and fear controls our decisions...

this is not the America that our pioneers and leaders fought and
died for...

and then there was New Hampshire

it was that speech...
like many great speeches...
that one moved me...
because words and ideas are powerful...

It made me think...
and realize that today we have "very few" leaders...
maybe none...

but that speech...

it inspired me...
it inspired me to look inside myself and outwards towards the world...
it inspired me to want to change myself to better the world...
and take a "leap" towards change...
and hope that others become inspired to do the same...
change themselves..
change their greed...
change their fears...
and if we "change that"
"then hey"..
we got something right...???...

1 week later after the speech settled in me...
I began making this song...
I came up with the idea to turn his speech into a song...
because that speech effected and touched my inner core like nothing in a very long time...

it spoke to me...

because words and ideas are powerful...

I just wanted to add a melody to those words...
I wanted the inspiration that was bubbling inside me to take over...

so i let it..

I wasn't afraid to stand for something...
to stand for "change"...
I wasn't afraid of "fear"...
it was pure inspiration...

so I called my friends...
and they called their friends...
in a matter of 2 days...
We made the song and video...

Usually this process would take months...
a bunch of record company people figuring out strategies and release dates...
interviews...
all that stuff...
but this time i took it in my own hands...
so i called my friends sarah pantera, mike jurkovac, fred goldring, and jesse dylan to help make it happen...
and they called their friends..
and we did it together in 48 hours...
and instead of putting it in the hands of profit we put it in the hands of inspiration...

then we put it on the net for the world to feel...

When you are truly inspired..
magic happens...
incredible things happen...
love happens..
(and with that combination)

"love, and inspiration"

change happens...

"change for the better"
Inspiration breeds change...

"Positive change"...

no one on this planet is truly experienced to handle the obstacles we face today...
Terror, fear, lies, agendas, politics, money, all the above...
It’s all scary...

Martin Luther King didn't have experience to lead...
Kennedy didn't have experience to lead...
Susan B. Anthony...
Nelson Mandela...
Rosa Parks...
Gandhi...
Anne Frank...
and everyone else who has had a hand in molding the freedoms we have and take for granted today...

no one truly has experience to deal with the world today...

they just need "desire, strength, courage ability, and passion" to change...
and to stand for something even when people say it's not possible...

America would not be here "today" if we didn’t stand and fight for
change "yesterday"...
Everything we have as a "people" is because of the "people" who fought for
change...
and whoever is the President has to realize we have a lot of changing to do

I'm not trying to convince people to see things how i do...
I produced this song to share my new found inspiration and how I've been moved...
I hope this song will make you feel...
love...
and think...
and be inspired just like the speech inspired me...

that’s all...

Let's all come together like America is supposed to...
Like Japan did after Hiroshima...

that was less than 65 years ago...
and look at Japan now...

they did it together...
they did it...

"We can't?...

Are you serious..?..

WE CAN!!!

Yes we can...
A United "America"
Democrats, Republicans and Independents together...
Building a new America

We can do it...
"TOGETHER"

Please visit www.yeswecansong.com

Thank you for reading and listening...
will.i.am

Okay... Please,please vote for Obama...

Ok I think you all know by now who I am voting for - Obama - Barack Obama. Now being the card carrying Hippie peace loving anti-war activist that I am, I naturally signed up on this great Internet- on My Obama.com to volunteer. I made my meager monetary pledge but felt i could do more - maybe i should just open my wallet a little more because g-d knows when i open my mouth it is not always a good thing. So lucky for me only 2 out of the 7 or 8 calls on my list answered the phone. Of course i hadnt' preread my "script" - glanced at it at best. I did connect, i think, with one guy from Ohio tho.- a veteran. Mostly i got tongue-tied and apologized for just winging it - shooting from the hip. When i mentioned Obama being against the War and maybe getting us out of Irag is when he mentioned that he had mixed feelings about that because what about those people who lost their lives over there. I told him that my husband is a Viet Nam veteran and says what a waste of lives were lost there too. I said I don't disavow what they did but let's not have another old man sending our young men to war.
Mostly i stuttered...
but when i thanked him for listening and wished him a good nite,
he said, "I'm probably voting for your guy."
Yes!

Photohunter

This weeks theme: Wooden

Joke Friday

The Broken Mower
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to
take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always something
more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived
home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away
with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time
and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came
out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the
driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Moral to this story : Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
always right, and the other is the husband.

Yes We Can!!

This is great - watch it! but don't forget to stop the music on my player first.

Mid winters night meme

1.WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I was named after my cousin who died of pnuemonia at 21.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
2 weeks ago

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
No, I'm a lefty and have a terrible handwriting

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Salami

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yep... kid

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Definitely...

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT?
ah, yehhhah

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
NO!!

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Life, Grapenuts and granola

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Yes!

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Yes and weak too.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Mint chocolate chip

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
The first thing i notice about them....

15. RED OR PINK?
Red

16. WHAT IS THE THING THAT YOU LIKE LEAST ABOUT YOURSELF?
Indecisiveness

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My parents.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
That would be nice.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Navy scrubs and white sneakers.

20. HAVE YOU EVER RE-GIFTED?
Yes, do you have a problem with that?

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
My friend yabbering in my ear

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Blue

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
incense

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My friend

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
baseball

27. HAIR COLOR?
Brown

28. EYE COLOR ?
Blue

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Italian and Thai and lobster and chocolate

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS ?
Happy Endings

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Juno and i loved it!!!

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
blue

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer!!!

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
both

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
chocolate

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Dunno...

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
Hmmm...

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
In between books right now. gonna start A thousand spendid suns. loved Kite runner.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Nothing

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Sex in the city (what i watch every nite - when i can)

42. FAVORITE SOUND
ocean. chimes.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
both...

44. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Europe.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
i think so...??? baton twirling??

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
New Jersey........

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Yours!

Photo hunter

This weeks theme: Free

Juno

Juno was really, really, really good!! I loved the main character, Juno; but then i loved all the characters: the boyfriend, the bestfriend, the Dad, the stepmom but mostly the quirkiness of the script. Diablo Cody I think I love you.

Go here to read a coherent review.

Joke Friday

Blonde LOGIC

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking . and oneblonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ....Florida or the moon?"The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanicher car died.After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKETA police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her verynicely if he could see her license.She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect meto show it to you!"
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICEA gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said thather body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed,then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed herknee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made herscream.The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde.""I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken"

KNITTINGA highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was obliviousto his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down hiswindow,turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!""NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. TheRussiansaid, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook theirheads."You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. Sherolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,can you hear it?"She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and seesanother blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shoutsback, "You ARE on the other side."

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two newdogs,and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?""HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs

Happy Valentines Day

Wish i could remember who sent me this photo so that i could give them credit.

Last years valentine post (evidently this is not my holiday). And the year before that.

Valentine word of the day.

A recent blog post with heart.

Now if I only I hadn't promised a favorite dinner to my son ( Swedish meatballs!) for Valentines Day we could just be eating chocolates or ordering a pizza.

I love, love, love Sex in the City

Boy, I wish that was the way it sounds. My boy was in hysterics tonite, when he walked into my room and I was lying face down on my bed with Jackson, my dog, at my feet and my hand clutching a soda can attempting to do my damn physical therapy exercies. Well, his laughter was infectious or i saw the ridiculousness/ludicresness of the scene and we both couldn't stop laughing til i banned him from my room-"Go to bed",and when that didn't work, "Just go, get out". We said I love you and bid good nite. Some lucky girl is going to get my boy someday and it will break my heart. It's ironic, but just a few hours earlier when i sat here typing my little heart away, I had confessed to him that my dream job , what I thought would be my best shot at writing would've been editorials, or maybe editor/agent or perhaps just a poet. So that is why i love sex in the city and all the characters but of course, i love Carrie best.

What's your favorite show/character??

(Draft from 9/2/07)

And the winner is......

Liquid of Liquid Illuzion. In case you are just tuning in, the winner is of my little contest and the prize is a copy of The Liar's Diary, by Patry Francis. I know that the rest of you nice people have read or will read it soon - Enjoy - Patry is a wonderful writer. Be sure to visit her blog, Simply Wait, and experience some of her fine writing.
Hey gotta go, the Grammy's are on.
Happy Reading!

Photo hunter

This weeks theme: Heavy

Joke Friday

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal. SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting.... Please scroll down .







Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society...

Too angry for words

I walked around Disney contemplating  posts or at least titles and ideas but now this title says it all. I considered just posting the title but I will get back with more after I put out some fires and do that pile of laundry.  I do want to pick the winner of my contest below (contest now closed) but I'm having a little soiree (ladies jewelry party) tmrrw. nite and i must clean my house, cook! and work a 1/2 day tmrrw. or I would take the short (45 min.) drive to Patry's to get the winner's autographed copy.  I will pick/post the winner this weekend tho - promise.