I found it sad today when i saw that
Ted Kennedy had died. Hopefully this will not be bad news for the upcoming Health Care Reform vote. I'm hoping that Gov. Duval will be able to appoint an interim Democrat at this most crucial time in history and that with a little bit of luck and maybe even a miracle we can get this thing done.
So, I've been avoiding this, not wanting to think about it, but last week I decided to glance at site meter (something that i used to do quite regularly - when i was obsessed with how many and who came here; then i guess i lost interest, didn't care, knew my small following and was satisfied/happy with them- you!
So there i was perusing who'd been on my site when i notice - someone from my town on for 78 mins. !! and it dawned on me, i'm blocked (my computer up here in den/computer room) - it must be my son - on the laptop downstairs! OMG!! what has he read that he shouldn't have?? my tasteless jokes? my rants and raves, my secrets!
so the next day i calmly called him in here and asked him, "so how did you like my blog?"
He knew he was caught and asked how i knew. I explained bout the sitemeter thing. Then i told him that it was like reading my diary. he said, i let you read my facebook. and i said, yea onece and then you blocked me.
i told him it was an invasion of privacy and i told him not to do it anymore.
So am i to believe that he won't? out of respect? out of knowing he'll get caught? or will he figure out a way around it?
and what do i do now? start one of those private, have to sign in blogs? be careful about what i post? which seems to defeat the purpose.
so what do i do??
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'
'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.
'Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'
'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..
The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'
The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
' Mommy ,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.
'It's not polite.'
'OK', the little girl says,
'How much do you weigh?'
'Now really,' the mother says,
'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'
Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'
'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
'My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.
'Well,' says the friend,
'all you need to do is look at her driver's license.
It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'
Later that night the little girl says to her mother,
'I know how old you are. You are 32.'
The mother is surprised and asks,
'How did you find that out?
'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'
'And,' the little girl says triumphantly,
'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'
'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'
'Because you got an F in sex.'
I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
I was working on a list of excuses why i haven't been blogging:
vaca or lack of
mulch
dog hit by car
too humid
this upstairs guest bedrm/den/computer room too damn hot to be in
uninspired/ i got nothing
sad/depressed (what else is new - go take your prozac woman). do i have to add schizophrenia now too?
and then everytime i came to my blog to get to your blogs i'd see those rocks and think:
my blog is on the rocks
my marriage is on the rocks
my teenager hates me one minute and thinks i'm funny/kinda cool briefly(very occasionally).
i hate my job
our pets heads are falling off (from dumb & dumber) nevermind
so excuses and guilt aside i think the one word title of this alleged post sums it up pretty good.
Now i wonder how many hits i will get from search engines thinking i typed in a slightly different word.
Subtitle: I've lost that loving feeling.
Since this has been looking like an abandoned blog of late, I thought I would offer some sort of explanation (excuse)- i never did figure out how to do those clever dash throughs.
Well, first there was the mulching - i finally broke down and had some delivered after it finally stopped raining for 40 days and 40 nites. I hate mulch - i hate paying for it and i hate spreading it! and i still haven't finished spreading it!
Then there was just the doldrums i seemed to be in - why?? lack of summer weather - haven't even been to the beach yet this year! And still no plans for my vacation which starts tomorrow afternoon. Tho i've already had us to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon and the Outer Banks in NC. When i found out it was 110 in Vegas and possibly Arizona too, not to mention the cost of the trip - i reconsidered. Then the 14 hr. drive to NC started weighing me down and the threat of more crazy weather in the East. So coming full circle in true RDL fashion we were back to our backyard- well the Cape - just a bit down the road a piece. Then came the brainstorm to finally get the wood floors refinished that are badly in need of it. I actually found a place that would rent to dog owners - it looked like a cute little beachy apt. over the garage in Wellfleet - a beautiful part of the Cape. The boys prefer mid cape and the resort place with pools and things to actually do. Just when we had settled on that plan, my dog got hit by a car(UPS truck) today! he's ok(scrapes) but suddenly the plan started unraveling. My brother-in-law finally got in touch and won't be available to dog sit the whole week. The weather appears to be continuing on it's non-summer like course so i am not disappointed at all that the plan fell thru. why pay $$ to stay at a place not as nice as mine(albeit the pool/resort atmosphere) in bad weather. So day/wkend trips it'll be then. Anybody got a place to rent?
Two church members were going door to door, and
knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to
see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she
did not want to hear their message, and slammed the
door in their faces.
To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in
fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her
back into it, and slammed the door again with the same
result -- the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their
foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that
would teach them a lesson, when one of them said,
"Ma'am, before you do that again you need to move your
cat."
Ok I succumbed and watched them make a spectacle of themselves(oh yeah that's what they always do).
I called a friend to chat and she said she had to go cause her family wanted to watch "Jon & Kate +, so I joked, "ok tell them they've reached a new low".
I never really followed it (not a big fan of reality tv anyway) but the few times I caught some of it channel surfing - i always thought "that guy looks miserable - detached". So it was not much of a surprise to me when there was trouble in river city or PA.
So I hung up and decided to watch. I thought it was depressing (cept for the cute kids in their new play houses) and very repetitive. I kept wondering why they kept repeating things- to emphasize or fill the hour? I think those repeats should've been on the clipping floor/edited out not repeated.
I guess now it really is reality tv.
Personally I got some news of the same last night from someone in my family. They(the parents) also are going to move in & out and let the kid stay in the house and not have to shuttle between 2 houses. And another family member just split (separate abodes) last month. It seems to be becoming the norm. Ozzie & Harriet and The Cleavers seem like a hundred years ago now- oh it almost was!
It has been determined, the most used
sexual position for married couples is
a doggie position....
The husband sits up and begs.
The wife rolls over and plays dead.
A BOTTLE OF WINE - - - - A TOUCHING STORY ALL WOMAN WILL ADORE
For all of us who are married, were married, wish
you were married, or wish you �weren't married, this
Is something to smile about the next time you see a
bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business
trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly
Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped
the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like
a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into
the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make
a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old
woman just sat silently, looking �intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail,
until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to
Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's
a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or
two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder,
she said:
'Good trade .
Fw: Secret of Happiness:
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"
"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all.."
"That is absolutely amazing!
How old are you?"
"Thirty-four," she replied.
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for
a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to
the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome ? Why would any-
one want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy
to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great
rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible
airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly,
and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber
River , called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks
it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really
a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see
the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million
other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to
need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The
hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .
"It was wonderful." explained the woman, "Not only were
we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it
was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The
food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome
28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. The
hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling
job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too,
were overbooked. So, they apologized and gave us their
owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good,
but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the
Vatican , a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and
explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors.
If I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait,
the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through
the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a
few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
He said, "Who fucked up your hair?"
A 40 question meme I came across somewhere this past winter, that i just now found in drafts. I usually do a meme in winter, but instead of hitting the delete button - here it is.
1. My uncle once: married and Israeli woman and moved to Israel.
2. Never in my life: have I been to: Morocco (but i'd like to and Italy and Hawaii and ...).
3.When I was five: I was bestfriends with Tommy Sweeney.
4.High School was: fun but difficult to get through.
5. I will never forget: giving birth
6.I once met: George Burns and Bill Cosby(actually i waited on them both, separate occasions)
7. There’s this girl I know who: irritates the sh-t out of me.
8. Once, at a bar: oh i wish it was just once.
9. By noon, I’m usually: just feeling good and awake.
10. Last night: I iced my stupid knee for the umpteenth time.
11. If only I had: it to do over.
12. Next time I go to church: will be when someone dies or gets married
13. Â Terry Schiavo: a pity.
14. What worries me most: most everything that worries me.
15. When I turn my head left, I see: The TV.
16. When I turn my head right, I see:The closed wooden blind on the window.
17. You know I’m lying when: I can’t look you in the eye.
18. What I miss most about the eighties: bad music
19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be: Juliette
20. By this time next year: I will be independently wealthy (hopefully).
21. A better name for me would be:______ (fill in the blank, but be nice.)
22. I have a hard time understanding: people who hate people who are different.
23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: do something creative.
24. You know I like you if: I give you the time of day.
25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: whoever helped me
26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: have nothing in common
27. Take my advice, never: say never
28. My ideal breakfast is: a croissant and coffee
29. A song I love, but do not own is: River by Joni Mitchell
30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: a Petridis'hot dog with mustard & sauerkraut.
31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: dis objects
32. Why won’t people: get along
33.If you spend the night at my house: we'll drink lots of wine, eat something delicious and talk alot.
34. I’d stop my wedding for: hmmmm
35. The world could do without: hate and intolerance.
36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lick the belly of a cockroach? no way!
37. My favorite blonde is: Golide Hawn or Meg Ryan
38:Â Paper clips are more useful than: rubber bands
39. If I do anything well, it’s: Tell a joke
40. And by the way: Be careful out there.
No tags; but if anyone is foolish enof to do this - leave a link in comments.
Summary of Life
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second
person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polk a-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . . Having money.
At age 50 success is . .. . Having money.
At age 70 success is . . . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . Not piddling in your pants
Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, And every year Buddy would say, 'Edna,I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' Edna always replied, 'I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, And fifty bucks is fifty bucks'
One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said, 'Edna, I'm 85 years old... If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' To this, Edna replied, "Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.''
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.' Buddy and Edna agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Buddy and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Buddy replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, But you know, "Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'
Subject: It's Hell Getting Old!
It's Hell Getting Old! OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.'
'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.'
'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
READ THIS. LET IT REALLY SINK IN. THEN CHOOSE.
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!
You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood.
I choose to be in a good mood."
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."
I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
He continued, "..the paramedics were great.
They kept telling me I was going to be fine.But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."
Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.
After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
