This weeks theme: spotted
9 years ago
Joke Friday
CALMNESS IN OUR LIVES
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could
all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice
heard on the Oprah show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Oz
proclaimed, 'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things
you have started and have never finished.' So, I looked around my house
to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving
the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a
bottle of Tequila, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac
prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of
chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.
Pass this on if you know anyone you think might be in need of inner
peace.
Love/Hate
It's a love/hate relationship. I love my new IMac but i hate it too. I'm not comfortable - kind of like a new boyfriend. It's exciting but i miss all the old places i went with the old boyfriend.
But really, i feel like i don't know what the hell i'm doing - it's frustrating! and i'm not sure where anything is, how to do anything; not to mention what i've probably lost!!
On a positive note- i'm damn glad i'm at the end of the exhaustive search process. When the computer crashed and burned(got a virus/couldn't go online) on Jan. 15th. i spent the next wk. researching and shopping at Best Buy (i'm on a first name basis with some of those guys), Office Max (poor guy, i said i'd be back) and well at the Apple store i burned thru 3 guys there and had a mini meltdown the day i went to buy it. When i finally went to buy it - more decisions: IWork or Office, then whether to buy the "One to One ($100) for "private lessons" basically. I told the 1st guy that i probably never would use it, damn i've never joined a gym cause i know i'd never go. it's all i can do to get to work, keep my house from being condemned, drive my kid all over, etc. you get my drift, can't even do what i'm supposed to. well the 1st guy told me if my computer couldn't go online, they probably couldn't get my info. then when i went to buy it , the next guy told me well maybe they could and if they couldn't then they could get my info off the external hard drive. well at checkout someone overheard this conversation and said not they couldn't (after i bought the "one to one" mind you.)
oh i skipped the part when i had to decide between IWorks(pages) and Office (Word); after being told Works for $50 was all u needed vs. Office for $150; tho no one could really show me or offer any answers to my questions.
So, i get home that nite and proceed to go on my old computer, determined to save everything to the external hard drive and transfer it myself.
Well, lo & behold i started rooting around in Task Mgr. help menu and found all this info on Diagnostics and Restoring your computer from an earlier date and there was that dog with the waggin tail and Dr. ?? anyway where was all this stuff when i was trying to reboot. To make a very long story slightly shorter, i managed to restore, the desktop icons and the Start menu was back. I was very proud of myself and at 3AM went to bed.
So i decided the next morning (SA)to take the old computer and the new & have them do the transfer. I was tired of the whole thing and since i already purchased it.
So Sun. i grab a coffee and arrive back at the Apple Store (5th day in a row) to "Meet my new Mac". At the end of the presentation when i go to find my files is when i discover that my "writing" files have not been moved, but my sons- some of his 5th grade homework!!
ok i tell the guys, no big deal , i have it saved on the external drive at home. So i get home and my son & I set up and then transfer, well the external drive gets unplugged, knocked over in the middle, tho luckily I do transfer a "writing" file, before discovering that that drive is evidently dead too.
Did i tell u about how i almost cried? at the story when i was buying it, my eyes welled up, i asked for water, i couldn't take anymore?
Anyway next day off i'm setting up the old computer and i'm going to find those old files, damn it! and someday i'm going to love this new computer.
Similar posts: Computer Hell, *@#&$^($!!
Disappointed
that Martha Coakley did not win tonite! disappointed that that "Sarah Palin in jockey shorts" took over the late Sen. Ted Kennedy's renowned seat. Hard to believe!! Now there really is no reason to live here. The great state of Massachusetts has gone Red!!! Hard to believe!!
GIVE
HAITI Emergency Relief Needed:
Please help/open your hearts/open your pockets.
This are just 3 that i saw listed on TV this moring. I did the first 2. If anyone knows of any others, please feel free to leave in comments.
Thanks!
The Redcross
Save the Children
Worldvision
Joke Friday
During these serious times, people of all faiths should remember these four basic religious truths:
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.
Pink Glove Dance
This is cool and for a good cause: ( oh and turn of my music over there>>>>>>
Please forward this in honor of all the women we know and all we have lost. nks*
Our daughter-in-law, Emily (MacInnes) Somers, created, directed
and choreographed this in Portland last week for her Medline glove
division as a fundraiser for breast cancer awareness. This was
all her idea to help promote their new pink gloves. I don't know
how she got so many employees, doctors and patients to participate,
but it started to really catch on and they all had a lot of fun
doing it.
When the video gets 1 million hits, Medline will be making a huge
contribution to the hospital, as well as offering free mammograms
for the community. Please check it out. It's an easy and great way
to donate to a wonderful cause, and who hasn't been touched by
breast cancer?
Ann Somers
Joke Friday
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the
children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
dismissal.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart
and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the
questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would
keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
Ladies Talking in Heaven
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda .
2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia . How'd you die?
1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
PRICELESS
Joke Friday
Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'
A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbour. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty..'
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
Joke Friday
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast?'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joke Friday
Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat. He said,
'Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, "Here, try these on.'' She did
and said, "These are too big. I can't wear them."
I replied, "Exactly... I wear the pants in this family and I always will."
Ever since that night, we have never had any problems. "Hmmm,"
said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to
Karen, "Here, try these on...
She tried them on and said, "These are too large... They don't fit me." Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike.
She said, "Here, you try on mine."
Mike did and said, "I can't get into your panties."
Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't
change your smart-ass attitude, you never will."
Coach
Today I waited in line for the privilege of shopping at the coach outlet store.I couldn't believe it - waiting in line to get in a store! It was my first time in one and my first time witnessing the phenomena of frenzied woman in search of the mighty grail of pocketbooks. Having never spent more than $50(maybe even $40) on a pocketbook i was perplexed by this. yes they were nice (i guess) but $200 plus for a pocketbook?? and one with "C's" all over it that lots other people have or perhaps want(as will possibly call attention to the fact that maybe this pocketbook has more money than that generic one?)
Anyway truth be known i was coveting this one tiny pocketbook,called a "wristlit" that was $60 (just 10 over the limit - if i was too succumb - but i'm much to frugal/cheap). A well-dressed/made up woman next to be had two of the same in her hand as she reached up for another red one, at which point i said, it's hard to pick, isn't it. to which she replied, "that's why you just get a multiplies of them.
I think my mouth was slightly ajar as she walked away on the arm of her coiffed husband with all 3 bags. I just wish i had said, don't you even feel a little bit guilty?
Hey but the good news is the Health Care Plan passed the Congress; now on to the Senate - keep your fingers crossed or uncrossed and dialing your senators!!
Well the pocketbook lady may only be able to get 2 next time, i feel so sorry for her already. sic.
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