As much as I love New York City, I'm glad I'm not in Times Square tonite. Not on my list of things to do fore I die. The one that was on my list I won't be able to see, at least the way it was, is New Orleans. Alot of sad doings in the world this year, let's hope for a better New Year. Thai food and a movie with the kid tonite. New Years Day Open House tomorrow. Will be making the meatballs tonite as the ball comes down at midnite.
Everyone have a safe and Happy New Year!!!!!!
Here are 8 cute ones for you, one for each night of Hannukah.
1)A small boy is sent to bed by his father: Five minutes later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad...." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
2. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him: "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
3 One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed: She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," s he said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
4. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon: All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
5. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room: I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
6. A little boy was doing his math homework: He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
7. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class: She came to t he part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
8. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
As in potato, not the guy in Taxi. Well I surprised myself tonite and pulled off making potato latkes( I've only done this once or twice and not in several years). I wasn't sure how they would turn out til we all tried them and it was unanimous - they were pretty good. The only think was I didn't have any sour cream for them - big disappointment for me but my son uses applesauce and my mother-in-law, well she just puts ranch dressing on everything, since we never have any "gravy". I even made a pot roast( in the oven) that didn't taste like shoe leather and even remembered to make a green vegetable, tho I almost burnt it but I discovered in time that there was no water in the pot (my mother in law was helping).
Another thing that is good to remember is to put the fan on to suck up the grease.
Why do I blog? Because I like to, almost need to. Because this is my creative outlet? along with playing piano and photography. I'm not a writer but I love to write. I've always been a book lover. I've written poetry for over 30 yrs, does that make me a poet?
Or do i blog for friendship? I have plenty of friends; tho ones that I hardly ever see, that we never seem to have time for, hardly even for phone calls for months, years. And these are lifelong really good friends, this can't be. Life is definitely what happens while you are making other plans. Then there are the new friends: work friends, friends made thru the kids- that you talk to either on a daily or wkly basis; but even these, some of them I just talk to on the phone. When was the last time we went to lunch or dinner? or even just had tea and a heart to heart. So does the blogosphere provide more of this rarefied time, experience, interests that we find missing, that we all need, crave? can we really count these friends or are they just acquaintances, nice people; more than strangers you meet standing in line, but less than real friends with familiar faces and history ,but cyber friends indeed.
I'd just like to thank all of you for hanging out with me, I've loved every minute.
Drafts on the subject:
From My blog (written on Oct. 23)
It's like my room, my place to go, to retreat, reflect, create and even rant if need be. A room of my own, a room with a view. And then there are all the new blogfriends, kinda reminds me of having penpals.
From Hangin on the blog corner (written Oct.30)
Seems all I want to do is hang out in the blogosphere these days. As my 11 yr. old reminds me all the time...I need to get a life. And what does that say about all us bloggers? are we social beings because we like recognition in the form of a comment? or are we recluses hiding behind our computer screens.
It does seem like a crowd, gang, community. Almost wish you could just pull up a blogstool and chew the fat.
Pack up all your cares and woes...... bye bye blackbird. For the price of an admission ticket I was taken away for 3 hours from the guilt and excesses of X-mas, from thinking about the credit card bills that will come do, from the ravages of time on my sore arm,from the reality of returning to work tomorrow.
The director, Peter Jackson, did a phenomenal job ( tho I think he coulda edited about 15 min. out of the prehistoric (Jurassic like ) scenes; but that's just me, always the editor. Jack Black(Karl)was excellent, as was Naomi Watts and the rest of the cast. One of the few movies that I felt was worth the price I paid. And it was just like an old time movie, adventure, exciting, fun and especially so watching it with my son. It was riveting to the end when Karl simply said, "It was beauty killed the Beast".
(hope i don't offend anyone - this is sick)
If Santa answered his mail honestly...
Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a
gud boy all yeer.
yer Frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.
How about I send you a frickin book so you can learn to read and write?
I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
_______________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I
ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
_______________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas,
I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together.
Please see what you can do?
Love
Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to
your frigid mom,who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream.
Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa
_______________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay,I'll set you up with a Barbie.
Santa
_______________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I
left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart
in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor?
Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa
_______________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in
Vegas,where I spend most of my time making low-budget
porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and
squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while
losing money at the craps table.
Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
______________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know
when we're awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do.
I'm skipping your house.
Santa
___________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please
please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but
that crap doesn't work with me.
You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
_____________________________________________________
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get
nto our home?
Love,
Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why
you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you
don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent
apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad
just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
Is what ran thru my mind right before it happened.(Always thinking of the next post). And once again it happened so fast I had not time to plan. That thought was the only thing that crossed my mind in the 3-4 seconds before he struck again, sending his teeth with such force into the forearm of my good arm that I cried out in pain and shock.
This wasn't a scratch or even a bite that you could just shrug off to he's just a being a cat, treating me like a cat. But a preemptive attack with intent to harm, main. He bit down with such force that I felt it to the bones. All I can compare it to is when they get a mouse in their teeth and come down hard and shake them within inches of death. When he finally released my arm from his vise like grip he scampered off downstairs. My husband got up and sleepily asked "what he bit you?" In between cries and sobs, I said 'yes", "put him in the basement". A few minutes later he came back upstairs and when I asked if he was in the basement he just said, "he's downstairs somewhere". At which I said again in between sobs, "please put ;him in the basement"(freedom was not good enof for this traitor). When he came back up now I was sobbing not because of the pain and trauma of what had occurred but because of the thoughts now running thru my head, I said, "what am I going to do? Put him to sleep?
To which he replied - "keep him downstairs" but there are no doors downstairs to keep him from getting up, no kitchen door to lock him in and he would cry and howl like he does .
I had just got up from a sound drug induced sleep - pain and sleep meds) to feed him, then he came crying again and I lifted him up to the bed ( not good for the bad arm!) I was petting him to get him to settle down and go to sleep. I guess that's not what he had in mind.
So what do I do:
A) Put him up for adoption ( who's gonna want a 15 yr. old psycho cat)
B) Banish him to the basement every nite and hope he doesn't howl.
c) Put him to sleep. ( out of his misery and save me from possible losing an eye next time)
So here is my 1st survey, not the one that I had planned. If you vote A please include yr. address and if B) please send ear plugs and if you think C) is cruel and abusive please don't tell me.
I guess I will call the vet shrink tomorrow-for him and me.
And I bet you thought this was going to be a baseball post here from Red Sox country , where we are reeling with the news of our Johnny Damon becoming a dreaded Yankee. Yesterday morning I heard a "Oh no "from downstair when the boy read the headlines. I think Johnny is going to lose some of his sex appeal when he goes clean cut. And I wonder what exactly is the difference between 40 and 50 million? A couple more yachts, planes or automobiles i guess.
I dreamt this last sat. nite. was cleanin out my drafts folder and I just couldn't hit delete.
Dreamt last nite that I was in my hometown. I was driving down Boulevard A, around 46th St., and the numbers were going up and I asked someone if The Boulevard was to the right, the way i was pointing, and they said yes so I turned up the street. There were all kinds of crazy shops and things. I guess i was trying to get home, because I lived downtown past The Boulevard. But I woke up.I guess they're right,"you can never go back" and it reminds me of when I wrote.. "You can never go home."
Well I got a shot in the arm today(not in a good sense) for my tennis elbow. Tennis elbow! I don't play tennis!! The shoulder is holding up though (knocking wood) i think. The shot hurt like a mother...; I told the Dr. that it's the worse pain since childbirth. I asked the lady at the desk outside if she heard me and she said yes; oh well. After the shot my hand didn't work, couldn't pick anything up or hold anything very well. She said that should be better by morning. I hope so, else work will be very interesting - the proverbial one armed paper hanger. Typing is not that easy so I'll be signing off - I have my doctor's note. House better be on else there will be one unhappy patient.
The bad cat has been nice of late, no transgressions like trying to take my face off in the middle of the nite. He still cries in the middle of the nite, sometimes for food ( because he can't get enof during the day because of the dog) and sometimes cause he wants me to pick him up and put him in the bed. I don't think he can jump that high anymore. He either settles down by my side ( nice heater this time of year) or perches on my shoulder rite next to my head, like a bird. With the dog at my feet, this must be some sight.
the other day, when i was talking on the phone to my friend, i realized I hadn't heard from his highness last night and went looking for him. He is only usually upstair in the computer room on the futon; he wasnt' there. i looked around and didn't' see him, my friend said she wanted to get off the phone, she didn't want to hear me scream, when I found my dead cat. I even looked in the basement, then hung up with her to continue looking. what if he got outside and was out all nite and froze; then I turned around from looking outside and lo and behold there he was under the bench next to the door in the boot tray.
I was getting the papers together to recycle when I came upon this in the Boston Globe:
LONDON- This week, an animated film, "It's a Boy", about the birth of Jesus is being distributed to all 26,00 British elementary schools.
"I decided we had to do this film after hearing about a 5-year-old boy who saw the Christmas story last year and asked afterwards why Mary named her baby after a swear word, said Steve Legg, the founding director of Christian charity Breakout Trust, which is funding the project.
Christmas story is my favorite .
Wait until you read the last line!
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.
"It worked, the headaches are all gone!" The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!" His funeral services will be held on Monday.
Well, you might be seeing less of me as christmas rears, no that is not a typo for nears but I did in fact mean rears, as in rears it's ugly head. I am scrooge when it comes to xmas, the american materialistic holiday, but then guilt gets in the way and I succumb to it like someone under hypnosis... must get The best present, at The best price. So I read thru the flyers and do my research and make my endless lists -(but not for long, i've already bought my present - a Palm pilot!)
So if you don't see me around it's because I'm out at the mall with all the other idiots. But of course now that I've said that I'll probably post something every day. Go figure. I guess I have to use reverse psychology on myself.
This was written on Fri. the day of the storm; I'm a little behind due to the the power failure and laziness of course. I love how the telephone pole in the picture looks like a cross.
Checking out at the hairdresser's today, it was raining and snowing and hailing and we heard thunder and saw lightening. Very eerie; people were shocked. Someone said, "I've never seen this before", and the big guy behind the desk said," I did, in 1974 at my Grandmother's funeral", and she predicted it. She always said that it would rain, snow, hail, thunder and lightening when she died and it did.
I had forgotten my phone, left it charging on the kitchen counter. Nice day to forget yr. phone. I call the kid from there to make sure he made it in the house ok and off I drive into the storm.
Driving home the roads all snowy and slushy, wind blowing like crazy, white-out conditions. Future post going thru my head and again I'm wishin I had one of those mini tape recorders. Maybe I'll ask for one for X-mas; but I've already asked for a car starter.
When I get home the kid meets me at the door with his earphones on and informs me that the power is out. I cook dinner in the dark, by candlelight and we play cards til we are bored and cold and go to bed about 10.
Life in New England; you gotta love it!
I wrote this on Wed. 2 days after my a strange thing post. This was supposed to be a sequel; but I've become an obsessed shopper ( i hate xmas - there i've said it) I can go months without shopping, wear the same rags, I mean jeans and don't care. and I'm also in that lazy draft phase - a thought/idea presents - I jot it down, sometimes almost finish it and log off, on to the next one or blog hopping.
Ok now something happened again today, not like the other day, this was different.
Today I called in this nice 30 0r 40 something woman, a massage specialist, who, in the course of the exam, told me you have to take care of yourself,treat yourself good. She says she has pedicures and massages regularly; she says do whatever makes you feel good, happy, treat yr. kids better.
Then we got on the subject of marraige, marraige counseling and also depression and medicine for depression.
So by the end of the exam i have her card with the name of a book and the marraige counselor's name and phone number. And they think I'm working behind that closed door . These are the patients that make it worth while.
(Lest you think this happens all the time, it doesn't. Actually some of the timeI am the one giving advice/help.)
So who's sending me all these signs? Dad, mom, someone else up there? trying to help me out.
whomever/whatever it is , I'll take all the help I can get. I do need to resolve all the conflict in my life, one way or another.
MAMA'S BIBLE
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.
Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.
The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."
The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
The fourth said, "You know how Mamma loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mamma just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
The other brothers were impressed.
After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.
She wrote:
"Milton, the house you built is so huge I live in only one room, but I
have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."
"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries
delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could
hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and
I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the
same."
"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a
little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."
Luv Ya, Mama
John Lennon was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1994. The following information was obtained from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame:
John Lennon didn't invent it rock and roll, nor did he embody it as toweringly as figures like Elvis Presley and Little Richard, but he did more than anyone else to shake it up, move it forward and instill it with a conscience. As the most daring and outspoken of the four Beatles, he helped shape the agenda of the Sixties - socially and politically, no less than musically. As a solo artist, he made music that alternately disturbed and soothed, provoked and sought community. As a human being, he served as an exemplar of honesty in his art and life. As Jann Wenner wrote in the foreword to a collection of writings entitled The Ballad of John and Yoko, "Of the many things that will be long remembered about John Lennon - his genius as a musician and singer, his wit and literary swiftness, his social intuition and leadership - among the most haunting was the stark, unembarrassed commitment of his life, his work and his undernourished frame to truth, to peace and to humanity."
Lennon was born in 1940 during the Nazi bombing of Britain and given the middle name Winston, after prime minister Churchill. Knowing firsthand the horror of a world at war and living through the era of Vietnam's senseless carnage as well, Lennon came to embrace and embody pacifism via such classics of the Beatles era as "All You Need Is Love" and "Strawberry Fields Forever." Yet he also had a countervailing dark side that found expression in pained outcries that dated as far back as "Help." This unvarnished aspect of the Lennon persona reached a fevered pitch with the drug-withdrawal blues of "Cold Turkey," a 1969 single released under the name Plastic Ono Band.
Although Lennon was a complicated man, he chose at this juncture to simplify his art in order to figure out his life, erasing the boundaries between the two. As he explained it, he started trying "to shave off all imagery, pretensions of poetry, illusions of grandeur...Just say what it is, simple English, make it rhyme and put a backbeat on it, and express yourself as simply [and] straightforwardly as possible." His most fully realized statement as a solo artist was 1970's John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band. Lennon's first solo album, it followed several avant-garde sound collages recorded toward the end of the Beatles era with his wife and collaborator, Yoko Ono. The raw, confessional nature of Plastic Ono Band reflected the primal-scream therapy that Lennon and Ono had been undergoing with psychologist Arthur Janov.
There were, in fact, numerous facets to Lennon's character captured in the ongoing diary of his life in song. Many of his post-Beatles compositions - "Imagine," "Mind Games," "Instant Karma," and "Give Peace a Chance" - have rightfully become anthems, flaunting tough-minded realism, cosmic epiphany, hard-won idealism and visionary utopianism in equal measure. For all of the unvarnished genius of Lennon's recordings, however, much of what lingers in the public memory goes beyond musical legacy. Rather, it has to do with leading by example. The relationship between John and Yoko endured challenges from within and without to became one of the most touching and celebrated of 20th-century romances. They were gallantly foolish in undertaking performance art pieces - bed-ins, happenings, full-page ads declaring "War Is Over!" - to spread their message of peace. During the early Seventies Lennon fought the U.S. government to avoid deportation - a campaign of harassment by Nixon-era conservatives that was overturned by the courts in 1975 - and came to love his adopted city of New York.
Then there were those five quiet years when Lennon chose to lay low and raise their son, Sean Ono Lennon. Simply by stepping back and "watching the wheels" from the sidelines, John Lennon made a statement about priorities that said more than words and music. His eventual return to the recording scene in 1980 after that lengthy hiatus - his last album of original songs had been 1974's Walls and Bridges - was one of the more eagerly anticipated musical events of the year. The album Double Fantasy, jointly credited to John Lennon/Yoko Ono, was released on December 6th. Two days later, a brilliant life came to an untimely end when John Winston Lennon was fatally shot by a deranged fan outside his New York City apartment upon returning from a recording session.
I loved the Beatles. I had a schoolgirl crush on Paul when they first came to the US. Later John appealed more to the hippie in me. I think I wore out the grooves in my Abby Road album that was always playing in my dorm room. It's sad to think on what we missed out on from this wonderful and talented man.
happened today at work. I picked up two charts and looked at them both - husband & wife; I picked the wife. I looked at the date to calculate her age to write in her chart and saw she was 65, but when she sat down I saw that she didn't look like any 65 yr. old I'd seen lately. I started asking medical questions: "take any medications?" her reply, "No"; any medical problems? she proudly replied, "No , I'm fine". She had longish blonde moderately curly hair and wore these cool jeans with studs and just generally had this very youthful appearance. So when i asked her "you're 65?" , she said "yes, I was wondering when you were going to ask, everyone always does." So then I asked her what her secret was? she said none, but when I pressed her and even asked about cosmetic surgery - which she said no. She just said that she took good care of herself. Ate good, used good creams and shampoo. Then I shut the lights off and started the eye exam; in the middle of it she said, "you have a stressful aura around you". "Wow", I said, you can see that? is it a color?" but then she said, "we better not talk about it"; I'm assuming she was afraid she was gonna wind up with the wrong glass presecription. evidently she doesn't know I can do this in my sleep. Later she asked me if I pray? I said, no. and then she asked if I was an Agnostic, and I said I wouldn't go that far and explained that I was Jewish but that growing up my family didn't practice anything but that my son went to Sunday school. She said something like, "You'll find your way". When we were walking out of the room I told her that I had had both hers and her husbands chart in my hand and I picked hers and said " I guess for a reason". And she smiled, put her arm around me and hugged me and said "Yes".
"Whenever I’m at a crossroads, be it choosing what bar to go to next or whether to launch a preposterous new venture, I ask myself, WWJGD? And I know just what to do—slam a double scotch and leap wildly toward the light while cracking wise at the suckers I’m leaving behind."
I came upon this online when I was looking for a picture of him as Joe the bartender for my previous post, but didn't find one.I loved Jackie Gleason and I love that WWJGD do line.
I tended bar tonite. I was asked to do it as a favor, because they were stuck. It was like I never left. I tended bar for years; I started in Amherst and Northampton, MA. The first job I had,I lied, I said I bartended before. I hadn't, but I'd cocktail waitressed and saw them all made and being a Leo I figured hey I can do that. Bartending also got me into traveling. (what terrible english).
One snowy night upon leaving work I had this revelation: Hey, I'm just a bartender, I can do this anywhere. So I decided to move to the US Virgin Islands - St. Croix(with a friend) ,where I landed a bartending job almost immediately and made a lot of Pina Coladas and Strawberry Daiquiri's. My boss was a complete and utter jerk , so I quit and moved to the restaurant down the street.
Next a friend convinced me to manage his boat charter company(the benefits were good, all the rum punch and sailing you wanted). Then I had the break of my life, I got a job working(pt time) for the local TV station - that was fun and great,butI moved back to the states and yup you guessed it - bartending, this time on Martha's Vineyard (yes I have a thing for Islands). After the summer I went back to Northampton - tending bar - what else. But i missed the ocean so back to the Vineyard I went with the plan to just stay long enof to make some money to move to NY to pursue a career in TV/film - my dream. Well my back went out and I wound up spending the winter on the island - another post.
Then I did a stint in Boston and worked some real fancy places and was even a Bar Manager. But I got tired of working nites and didn't want to be a forty year old bartender ( someday as Meg Ryan says(not about bartending but about Turning 40) in When Harry Met Sally ( one of my favorite movies).
This is why & when I made my big career move to Medicine, got married, moved to the suburbs and had a baby. Then since I was only working part time in my Tech. job I decided to come out of retirement(kinda like the athletes) and started tending bar at the country club near where I lived. My boss, Daniel, was from Ireland and the best boss that I ever had. It wasn't like work, my husband used to say it was my nite out and it was. I ate, drank and sometimes even danced. It was way fun. But then Daniel got a better job and left and it wasn't so fun anymore and I started doing my day job more - kid was in school now. So I gave up bartending again, that was about 6 yrs. ago.
Tonite I came out of retirement yet again,and it was just like the first time that i went back , like I never left. I remember when i started back that first time- walking into the walk-in(big fridge - for you guys not in the biz) to get some beer or wine and it felt like i was home,like the smell of the greasepaint. Walking back behind the bar tonite it was just like riding a bike.
addendum: I wrote this last night after a few cocktails and I realized I left out the craziest place I worked- Key West; I spent a winter there in between Martha's Vineyard stints. I did more cocktail waitressing there tho ( I worked at a topless beach - the customers not me!); I left out all the waitressing jobs and hostessing jobs that I had else this post woulda been even longer.
LIFE EXPLAINED
On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.; I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.
On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span. "The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.
On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed again.
On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you
Over at The Glittering Muse my poem is included in The Symphonic Poetry Carnival.
I've posted it here but please go read the others.
Believe
Is it that we are not fond
of one another anymore
no endearing looks, touches
no secret, knowing glances
It's so hard to live this way
no harmony, no closeness
feel like there is a weight on my chest
holding me down
hard to breathe
believe
