Joke Friday

NEVER ASK A SOUTHERN GRANDMOTHER

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they
aren't
prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called
his first
witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He
approached her
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've
known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You
think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you
never will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across
the room and ask ed, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
he was
a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated
on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes,
I know
him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a
very
quiet v oice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she
knows me,
I'll send you to the electric chair."