A picture a day...

R. Laban

This is such a great idea, i love it. It's inspiring me to try it. Wish I had seen it before the start of the new year so I could've started on 1/1/07. Being the procrastinator that i am i think i will start right after the Bar Mitzvah Sat. or that day since i will have some pics of the pahty. hell, why not start rite now, tho i would like to figure out how to do it on flicker- rite after the big event maybe. Hell, why not start rite now. That picture on yesterdays post is day one.
But i guess technically that is cheating as that is an old picture. The one above i took about a year ago in Fla. - wish i was there now. ok tmrrw. is another day. Since i can't quit my day job this chick is headin to bed. ciao.

Bar Mitzvah Central

R. Laban


Really, I've been wanting to post, but it seems all I do is run around, mostly in circles. The boy, turned 13 last week and next week is his Bar Mitzvah. It seems much more work than my wedding was. Both about the same size - 38 people. But for my wedding all i remember doing was choosing the dress, the menu and the piano player.
This has involved umpteem trips to walmart and the party store and I still have upteem things to do. Not to mention working on the program, centerpieces, prizes, playlists (no DJ) - well son is working on that mostly. Next week will not be fun but hopefully it will all go smoothly next Sat.

Joke Friday

Subject: How to avoid the flu

First eat right!

Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies.

Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.

Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build our immune system.

Walk for at least an hour a day,

Go for a swim,

Take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.

Wash your hands often.
If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.

Get lots of fresh air. Open doors and windows whenever possible.

Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.

Get plenty of rest.

OR

Take the doctor's approach.

Think about it...

When you go for a shot, what do they do first?
They Clean your arm with alcohol...
Why?
Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.

So.......

I walk to the liquor store. (exercise)
I put lime in my Corona...(fruit)
Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the bar patio..(fresh air)
Tell jokes, laugh....(eliminate stress)
Then pass out. (rest)

Now this is the way I see it...

If you keep your alcohol levels up,
Flu germs Can't get you!

My grandmother always said,

"A shot in the glass
Is better than one in the ass!"

Island

Write about an island.

We arrived late in the afternoon,when the plane started it's descent all you could see were trees. The ride from the airport to the hotel didn't reveal much either. By the time we checked in and walked into town to get something to eat it was dark. We had a drink in a touristy bar and met some locals - islanders - from islands all over the caribbean. They insisted on buying us dinner when they heard that we had come there to live and find jobs. We had fish and dumplings that were delicious, especially considering that they came off of a truck,one of those stainless steel lunch trucks. Later we went back to our postage size room and slept. In the morning we walked the less than a mile walk into town and were stunned when we reached the harbor. The color of the water was aqua blue - turqoise, nothing like the murky steel grey we were used to at home.

Leave yr. island comment or link.

Everything blog

Can't stop bloggin:
ok is this just another addictive behaviour or a real need?

Can't stop writing
It this all just drivel? Why do I feel compelled to write?

Blog obsessed:
just can't stop blogging and to think i used to say i was giving it up. I need a purpose tho. make people laugh/think,amuse/entertain.

One more blog:
Oay what am I, a blogaholic? Hi my name is RDL, I'm a blogaholic. Just one more blog. Looking for that perfect blog.

Blog culture:
The blog people, like the village people- when was that? the 70's? can't even remember their music really. So who are the blog people?

Short attention span theatre??
So what about those blogs then. Are we just scanning as I read about in an article?

So many blogs, so little time (can see a t-shirt of that.) ok i guess i should stop drafting and just post. but what do I do with all those drafts? methodically go thru them and delete or post. I have 40(make that 74) saved drafts, granted most of them are just ideas, some evem just titles. how many do you have?

Dreamt that i was at a bloggers convention- meeting some of you, maybe that's where i really wish i was.

Reality blogging:
So I wonder when we will see reality blogging(blogging in your bathrobe- not gonna catch me with one of those webcams). Like a day in and day out Ozzie Osborne style. That would be pretty frightening in my house.

Bah humbug

As usual a day late and a dollar short, I started this on Valentines Day but never finished it - what a surprise.

Ok I admit, I'm not that sentimental (tho I do have the hair from my son's first haircut) and I have saved some special cards and art work and school papers (lest you think me a cold hearted hannah.) So hold the card just hand over the chocolate, and no one gets hurt.

First, am I supposed to be touched that you stood in front of a rack of cards with a bunch of other people trying to find something written by another person to express your sentiments? and secondly - you just don't know how I hate standing in front of those racks with all those other people, reading card after card, none of which fit my sentiments. Ok Dr. Phil I will admit that maybe the problem does not lie herein(the card rack) but within me. Yes I admit it, take me away, throw me in the dungeon and throw away the key. I can't bear looking at valentines when none of the sentiments express what I'm feeling - which by the way as i've hinted is not sentimental, not good, because my suppossed marraige is a mess. What to do, what to do? go to counseling? separately/together and hope we like the counselor, that we click, that he or she can fix what is broke? or as i remember hearing Howard Stern(the talk show host not Anna Nicole's boyfriend/husband)explain that going to a marraige counselor was the worst thing he ever did, like pouring salt on a wound. Here you go and tell/say everything you've always been afraid to and then there it's out in the open and you can't take it back. well that was the gist of it anyway and i can totally relate because a year & 1/2 ago I did finally blurt something out to my husband, sitting in the car in a parking lot outside a lawyers office (to fix a problem between himself and the mother of his daughter (who was now living at out house because she walked out of her mother's house because she hated her stepfather - but that's another story.) The "D" word came out and let's just say he was in agreement with me. We then had to go into the lawyers office to settle the problem we were there for.

The next day we sat down with paper & pencil and actually tried to figure out if we could afford to separate, which was of course ridiculous as we can't even make ends meet together. We agreed to stay together til after the holidays and the kids were settled in school and the other situation was resolved. A year & 1/2 later, step-daugher is at College, another X-mas has come and gone and we are still no closer to a resolution. That is my sad little Valentines Day story.

Joke Friday

NEW BAR STOOLS

Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, &

Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in New

York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and humid

in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they

decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.

Patty had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were the talk

of the fashionable eastside neighborhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and

were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered

the bar through the front door.

They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted
at what they saw.





Give us a sense of humor, Lord,
Give us the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.

lunchtime

Lunchtime memory from when you were little:

In Grammar school(that's what we called Grade school - grade K-8) I went home at lunchtime. Sometimes my mother would get creative and the plate would have celery and olives that made a smiley face. I remember tuna fish sandwiches on white bread, cut on the diagonal and a steamy bowl of cream of tomato soup with Ritz crackers on the side to crumble in. On the way back to school I would stop in the corner candy store for some penny candy. Sometimes if i had a nickel, i would wait til after school to stop in and get a milky way or three musketeers. Once in awhile I would get a skybar - eating the favs first or sometimes saving the best for last. I liked the vanilla best,then carmel,chocolate, peanut last. Then there were those multi-colored buttons on the paper and the red wax lips. I don't remember what was the appeal of those buttons on the paper as I was never adept enough to eat them without also eating the paper as well. As usual it's all about the dessert.

Joke Friday

This did look like a truck in the email that i received it in; what can i say, I was hit last nite but luckily I was in the safety of my own home, in my kitchen, surrounded by woman friends at my Liar's Party for Patry Francis . When my brain decides to start working again i might just tell you about it.

You've been hit by the ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ...WINE TRUCK.........
'";,___._..._..._______====___..., ] ->> >>> > > "(@)'(@)"""''"**(@)(@)*****''(@)>>

1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is
2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our buttwhile yelling "woo-hoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it too.
4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago
5. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much.
6. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song play's because "oh my god! I love this song!"
7. We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.
8. We've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
9. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade, but that's just because we can no longer taste the gin
10. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop?)
11. We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when we sit on it
12. We take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault that we're having problems walking straight.

Existentialism

definition from The American Heritage Dictionary:

n. A philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts.

From The World Book Encyclopedia 1989

philosophical movement that developed in continental Europe during the 1800's and 1900's. The movement is called existentialism because most of its members are primarily interested in the nature of existence or being, by which they usually mean human existence. Although the philosophers generally considered to be existentialists often disagree with each other and sometimes even resent being classified together, they have been grouped together because they share many problems, interests, and ideas.
Existentialism grew out of the work of two thinkers of the 1800's: Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher and protestant theologian, who is generally considered the founder of the movement and Nietzsche, a German philosopher. The most prominent existentialist thinkers of the 1900's include the French writers Albert Camus, Jean-Paul Sartre, and Gabriel Marcel; the German philosophers Karl Jasper's and Martin Heidegger; the Russian religious and political thinker Nicolas Berdyaev; and the Jewish philosopher Martin Buber.

Existentialism is largely a revolt against traditional European philosophy, which reached its climax in the impressive systems of Kant and Hegel. Traditional philosophers tended to consider philosophy as a science. They tried to produce principles of knowledge that would be objective, universal, and certain.
The existentialists reject the methods and ideals of science as being inappropriate for philosophy. They argue that objective, universal and certain knowledge is an unattainable ideal. Moreover, they believe this ideal has blinded philosophers to the basic features of human existence. The existentialists do not make the traditional attempt to grasp the ultimate nature of the world in abstract systems of thought. Instead, they investigate what it is like to be an individual human being living in the world.

One of my favorite courses in college; some of my favorites: The Plague by Camus and Siddhartha & Demian by Hesse. oh yea, and Metamorphosis by Kafka.

soulmate

Ok I thought maybe this was something only woman believed in, after all some of us spent half our life waiting for their prince to come, for that knight to pull up on that damn white horse and whisk us away, all the while reading Ms. magazine and shaking our boodies to Disco Inferno. Most of the married couples that i know or see are not "happily married" so does that mean your soul mate is actually someone else, and if so, who? Your childhood playmate, high school sweetheart, the guy down the street, next door, an unfaced blogger? or is the cruel reality -that they just don't exist, that only a lucky few ever find/keep this elusive thing called love. Ok I admit I'm jaded, suffer frequently from depression and am not in a happy marriage. So when you're done telling me what age you are, you can tell me all about your love life.

Act your age

Ok some of us are bored/ not watching the Superbowl. I warned you about these old drafts - this one is from 4/06. Please comment on yr. inner age.


How old would you be if we didn't know your real age?
I think I am basically stuck in adolescence; somewhere between 16 and 21(definitely not a day over 30). The quintessinal peter pan - I won't grow up... don't wanna go to school. Just sittin here still waiting for my ship to come in(the world is my oyster) or that knight in shining armour to show up. I guess i read too many of those damn fairy tales, that's for sure. Good thing I didn't have a daughter I probably would have forbade her to read Cinderella. How bout you?? How old are you really??

Opening night!!!!

Congratulations Patry!!!!!
The Liar's Diary came out yesterday, Feb. 1,2007. You can read about it here. This is a must read. Just go buy it!!

Joke Friday

Subject: Water vs Wine

Water vs. Wine It has been scientifically proven that if
we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we will have
absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherich ia col i bacteria found in feces. In
other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop! However, we do not run that
risk when drinking WINE (or rum, whiskey,vodka, beer or other liquors)
because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling,
filtering and fermenting and also alcohol kills the Escherichia coli
bacteria.
WATER = Poop
WINE = HEALTH
It is better to drink wine and talk shit than to drink water and be
full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information; I am doing
it as a public service.

Brainstorming or here we go again..

This is my oldest draft dated 1/22/06 but i orinally wrote it back on 10/23/05.(desparate times call for desparate measures - in liew of any new ideas, i've decided to systematically or maybe not so systematicaly go thru my draft collection - all 81 of them!) I've thought about this name change on & off. Going to keep this at the top, and add new posts below, for a little while and see what comes up.

When I started this blog my bio included some about my past career paths and about never deciding what I wanted to be...(hence)when I grow up. Well if I am to continue in the blogosphere, i have decided that it needs a new name, since it is obvious i am never going to grow up, too late for that now. So in the spirit of moving on I am asking for help from any of you who care to cast a vote. Since I am also the queen of indecision I will take whatever help I can get. But maybe the name is premature, as I think I need to decide what direction this blog is taking; ie: random postings, whatever is on my mind at the moment(ie: ranting and ravings),life with luke(my wonderful boy),jokes, poetry,journaling, inspirations, musings,work stories - med/tech woes or bartender blues) all of the above.
Feel free to jump in here if the spirit moves you, hey I like that.
Xdenotes a previous vote.

Update: Just Write was removed from the original list as it was already claimed by my wonderful blog friend and writing coach, Edie. It seems she has since vacated this spot, but still it just wouldn't seem right.

Word lover
When the spirit moves you X
Jersey girl
Spaghetti and meatballs (?? don't know where that came from but it's evidently popular)XXX
Indecision Incarnate
When I grow up X( one vote to keep it) and another-X

Please feel free to add any or vote on those listed,still in the brainstorming stage here ( i know it's only been a year!)

Footnote : Also a major reason that I want to change this it that frequently on google searchs for "When I grow up" or "when I grown up poems", etc and tadah here I am and I don't think I'm what they had in mind for their little ones; specially not on Joke Friday. Now that would be the easy way out, just change it to Joke Friday.

Joke Friday

Husband Store ~

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the
entrance:

"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of
the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a
particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT
go back down except to exit the building."

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign
reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money and like sports.
The 3rd - 6th floors have never been visited.

Okay maybe I am slackin...

(note: i have no idea what it says under this picture - i just like the picture)

The project's been handed in (we only got an A-!! what the heck did the A & A+ people do - build skyscrapers?) And it seems that my blog has lost that 'joie de vivre' or more accurately - i have. It's cold,it's dark,and i'm achy. (I'll have another wine please?) What I really need is a plane ticket to someplace warm. No hiatus planned this year and frankly it's got me grumpy. If I didn't have the damn arm problems, I wouldn't have the damn medical bills to pay and I would be buying tickets and making reservations to someplace warm with palm trees and pina coladas or strawberry daiquiris or both- one for each hand(therapy).

Ok get over it. The good news is I don't have arthritis, just chronic tendonitis, itjjust better be gone by Spring is all i can say. I want to garden (remember I was the winner of the tomato contest last year!) and I want to pitch to my boy - even if he does have to duck them most of the time.

Slacker

Really I haven't been slackin - I've been really busy!! Getting out the invites (late) to my son's Bar Mitzvah, getting out invites to my best friends book party,and working on son's school project.

Joke Friday

THE 6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS OF 2006

SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?" The clerk says, "What denomination?" The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
He never heard the shot....

(Thanks to my dear old friend Steve for the material)

Joke Friday

Luck of the Irish

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"
"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs where Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.
"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."
"Fook off you liar!"
"I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"
"Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"