This weeks theme: Triangle
9 years ago
Joke Friday
A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now you probably won't remember, but I'm afraid you were in a pile-up
on the motorway. You're going to be OK, you'll walk again, everything
seems to be OK, but there is a bit of bad news and I'm going to break
it to you as gently as I can. Your Willy was chopped off in the wreck
and we were unable to find it.'
The bloke groans a bit (as you do) but the doctor goes on, 'We've
checked your insurance and you've actually got up to £9,000
compensation coming to you and the good news is that we have the
technology now to build you a new Willy that will work just as well as
your old one, better in fact.
But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It is one thousand pounds an inch.'
The bloke perks up a bit at this (as you would.) 'So it's a simple
decision,' the doctor says, 'you need to decide how many inches you want.
But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you
had a five inch Willy before and you decide to go for a nine inch Willy now, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inches before and you decide only to invest in a five inches now, she might be a bit disappointed.
So it's important that you consult with her to help you make the decision.'
So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day.
'So' he says, 'have you spoken with your wife?'
'I have.' says the chap.
'And has she helped you to make the decision?'
'Yes, she has' he says.
'And what is the decision?' asks the doctor.
'We're having a new kitchen.'
Out with the old...
Well, finally gave Blogrolling the boot. I liked it when I first got it. Loved seeing those asteriks after my favorite blogs, knowing they've updated and I could go over and peruse them. But then it froze my blog and I had to get rid of it temporally. When I put it make up it was under repair for months and months(no asteriks) and when it came back, it was not the same ( is it ever?). It had those awful,annoying pop-up advertisements on top of the blog you were trying to view. So last week. I added all those blogs to my favorites in the blogger template and no, there are no more asteriks but it does tell me when last you updated and the title of your post. So bye, bye blogrolling.
And .... "In with the new". I would very much like to know, if anyone out there could explain to me - just how do you add more blog posts at the end of the main blog page so that you can easily scroll down to older (previous) posts??
Joke Friday
BRITISH HUMOUR
The train was quite crowded and an American tourist walked the entire length looking for a seat but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed middle-aged French woman's poodle.The travel-weary man asked 'Ma'am may I have that seat?'The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'
Again the man walked the entire train again but the only seat left was under that dog.'Please ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'She snorted 'Not only are you Americans rude you are also arrogant!'This time the man didn't say a word he just picked up the little dog tossed it to the floor of the train.The woman shrieked 'Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place!'
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up: 'Sir, you Americans always seem to do the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch to the floor. '
Joke Friday
Inner Peace
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you anytime,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably...
The Family Dog!
Quatro
Ok, what's left to tell of this tale. Mon. our last day there, just hung around the pool all day. No snorkling, no ferry to cozumel, no shopping and definitely no Salsa dancing. I did call the airlines in the morning and found out it would be $150 each to change the flight to that day or I could go see the Mexican Dr.($125) and get a note to have it changed for medical reasons. We had dinner that night early and were back in the room before 9 - more Mexican TV after packing. Thank
G-d for sleeping pills i say.
The next morning the last breakfast on the patio. I liked breakfast the best there actually. Cappuchino machine, fresh fruit, yogurt, croissants and someone making omelets - what's not to like? Then we headed to the airport. The airline gave us a wheelchair and my husband wheeled me thru the airport in Cancun and in Miami and thru customs and back in Boston.
We got in late and luckily i had the next day off from work. I was able to get an appt. with an Ortho Dr. the following day. Diagnosis: Synviossis/Trauma to the knee. Treatment: the RICE diet Rest, ice, compression and elevate. That was thurs. i didn't have to go back to work to last mon. He said if it wasn't better in 2 wks. to call for an MRI. Went yesterday.
Diagnosis: Torn(or worse) Meniscus and possible tear/complete rupture of the ACL.
Bummer
El Final
Tres
Ok, let's see if we can wrap this Mexican debacle up.
After dragging myself up the stairs, I lay on the bed with my leg up on 2 pillows with ice. When I got sick of watching Mexican TV, I dragged myself into the shower, got myself dressed and back down those stairs Iwent.
We got a table out on the patio and my husband asked me what i wanted to eat from the buffet. I said,"Nothing, I really don't feel like eating." or drinking for that matter - especially not that watered down wine from the silver water pitchers. When he got back and sat down, the tears started to roll down my cheeks.
Yep, the ole alcohol aftermath. The Happy Hour Haze had worn off and we were smack dab in the Depression Daze. Feeling sorry for myself, feeling like i'd ruined the vacation and just wanting to go home. We were discussing whether to see the Mexican Dr. down the road at the other resort, when I jokingly said,"maybe i should shout out-is there a doctor in the house? "To which my husband retorted, "would you really want one who was staying here? " I laughed and said well i guess not, but maybe we could go up the street to the 5 star resort (ours was a 3).
So i had a little roast beef and mashed potatoes and watered down wine and hobbled down to the bar for a nitecap- a Spanish Coffee, then called it a night. No disco dancing for this girl tonite.
I hate Sundays
I know you are supposed to love Sundays, a day of rest and relaxation. Rrright... A day of catch-up, hurry-up, get the shopping done/laundry done/ cook! and clean cause tomorrow you go back to Work( i realize i am dating myself here but i can hear Maynard g. Crebs(from the Dobie Gillis show) yell "Work". Note - i was a very precocious child with a teenage brother 7 yrs. my senior so i'm not That old - yes i am, who am i kidding? Anyway Dread & Loathing in Massachusetts sets in Sun. night when thoughts of going back to work the next day creep in. I even seem to have more trouble then usual getting to sleep - worrying about getting up, getting there on time and functioning in the capacity that i am paid for(translantion: not running, yelling and screaming from the building). I know, bad attitude. What can I say, i was meant to be a free spirit - no time clocks for this girl.
I just remembered this t-shirt i saw when i was down in Mexico: Forced to Work, Born to Party. I guess that says it all.
Blog pick of the week goes to....... Hotel de Ville de Paris , my favorite little blogger friend and friend in the real world as well. Go visit.
Joke Friday
We are in trouble...
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
Part II
I was trying to remember what I said when i fell. I think i might've said I broke my knee?? It happened so fast I really don't remember but when my husband helped me up, I realized pretty quickly that I couldn't walk/put any weight on my left leg. He helped my hop back up the beach to our chairs. Then he went to get ice for my knee and brought me back a bloody mary with an extra shot of vodka because we had already realized how weak their drinks were. Ah, liquid pain killers. After the drink we moved(with great difficulty) back over to the pool area in the shade. He left me there reading (or trying to) and went for a swim. He brought me lunch because i could no way walk to the buffet. At some point we procurred some crutches from the guy at the pool/towel shack. They were pretty cool - adjustable, cept they weren't that easy to use, as i found out(never having had the opportunity to use them before and hopefully never again.). I actually found out yesterday that i was definitely using them wrong if my armpits hurt(which they did). Let's see the rest of the afternnoon was alchohol led: beer (or 2) with lunch, then i switched to my fav: pina coloadas- not sure if i had 1 or 2 - probably 2 - yes i think i had the 2nd at the swim-up pool bar; however in my case it was the lower her down from her crutches bar. where there is a will there is a way. Commonsense prevailed tho and i left after that one and slowly made my way back to the room- did i mention we were on the 2nd floor - no elevator?
I get drunk, i fall down, no problem
Remember that t-shirt? I do, from when i lived in the caribbean. Instead this time i was visiting and mine would've read- I wasn't drunk, i fell down, big problem. well not a Big problem, but big to me. My husband kept reminding me it wasn't my heart or another organ - good thing, since we were in Mexico. I didn't bother going to the dr.($100/$125 if he comes to you) down the street at the other resort; i figured what can he do. Maybe I would feel better if it was a MPB(mysterious party bruise- as a girl at work called them). But i did this walking down the beach or i should say starting to walk down the beach. we were only Day 3 of vaca and i had already done Yoga on the beach and was planning on maybe doing the water aerobics , but definitely doing the the Salsa dancing at 3/poolside with the cute little (well tall) beach boy in the red shorts. I had just takin a picture of this pelican and was just starting off on a walk down the beach to one of the other resorts. I stopped to look at the damn bird, a wave crashed in, someone was walking behind me and i turned funny or something and the next thing i knew my foot twisted under and i fell on my knee on the hard wet sand.
to be continued.... (gone to ice the damn knee).
Joke Friday
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000,' the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, 'by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.
Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. 'There's no money in that account.'
'I know,' said the old man, 'But let me tell you about my weekend!'
All Seniors Aren't Senile
Joke Friday
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?'She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?'She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.'She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.' They then parted ways.Some years later they met again.The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan , how are ye these days?'She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!'The Father asked, 'And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?'She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!'The Father said, 'That's wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?'She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle.'
Wacky Wednesday
(ok, let's finish the DOTW(days of the week) attempt to blog; let's see, we can do Manic monday (work tales), Haiku Tuesday, Wacky Wednesday(save/deleted drafts), Trivia(l) Thursday, Joke Friday, Photohunter Sat. and Sunday Sampler(Inspirational and Blog pick of the week.) Below a saved draft that i should delete.)
minimalist blogging:
In lieu of an explanation: I used to blog more; i blog in my head often("bloggin in my head" as my friend Mare and I laugh about.) In the summertime the living is... well not easy but busy-gardening and building projects takin up my time and my mind. So much for thinking blogging a winter sport, I'm still not blogging much. Have I lost my groove - writing those damn furniture ads?
Sunday Sampler
25 TIPS FOR A BETTER LIFE - 2009
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, and almonds.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9 Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, wi ll this matter?'
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals everything.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished
______________.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. Please Forward this to every one you care about.
(At the risk of turning my blog into a set of those "Days of the week" underwear (You know Joke Friday/Photohunt Sat.)- I am starting a new Sun. post. Since i have a file of Inspirational quotes I am going to start sharing them here. I'm also going to start a Blog pick of the week because I remember early on with this blogging thing a fellow blogger(FTS-Follow that star) did that every Sunday - he picked a "Rising Star" and he even picked me once:)
So without further ado........ (In true Oscar style....... ..my blog pick of the week is.......... ........Lorna in Wonderland - go visit!
Joke Friday
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.
He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a
few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth.
He tries this a few more times with no success.
All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do
everything, she opens the window and yells to her husband,
"You need a piece of tail."
The man turns with a confused look on his face and says,
"Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."
Joke Friday
During the service, the pastor asked if anyone would like to express
praise for prayers which had been answered. A lady stood up and came
forward.
She said, 'I have a reason to thank the Lord. Two months ago, my
husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was
completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't
know if they could help him.
You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they
imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.
She continued, 'Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move
caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate
operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of
Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.'
Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they
imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.
She continued, 'Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say,
with time, his scrotum should recover completely.'
All the men sighed with relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to
say.
A man rose and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Jim and I
would like to tell my wife, the word is 'sternum.' "
Slumdog millionaire
In three words: I loved it!!
I thought this movie had it all, for me anyway. It had action,romance, inspiration,suspense, And....
A Must see!!
I give it **** Stars!!
Joke Friday
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO
paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful
hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.
When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared
carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a
score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an
error in the grade."
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly,
which was worth 50% of the total mark.
"You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50%
of the mark."
After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you
did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire
career."
Joke Friday
She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in.As I walked in almost awake she turned and said softly, 'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'
My eyes lit up and I thought, 'I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.' Not wanting to lose the moment I embraced her and then gave it my all right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her t-shirt still around her neck.
A little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?'
She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'
Women are very mean.
If I could turn back time
I would get on that train
Take away the pain
Hold your hand in mine
Dry your tears
Carry you with me
Everywhere I go
Show you the way
The way out of here
(for Suzanne)
On the boardwalk
It's all about the food!
(Found this in my drafts file, the editor wanted to delete it but i liked the memories of summer.)
Joke Friday
You know the joke about the guy who goes to the White House and tells the guard that he must see President Bush? The guard says that Bush is no longer president and doesn’t live there any longer. The next day the guy returns with the same question, and the guard gives him the same answer. This is repeated all week. Finally, after the 6th or 7th time of telling the man that Bush isn’t president and doesn’t live there any longer, the guard says to the guy, “why do you come here every day asking the same question?” The guy replies “Oh, I just love hearing the answer!”
Joke Friday
Things Got Ya' Down? Well, Then, Consider These ..
In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the war d to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.
Still Having a Bad Day????The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
Still think you are having a Bad Day????A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric ke ttle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.Are Ya OK Now?
- No? Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
God is good!
There now, Feeling Better?
Suzanne (aka Liquid)
has been on my mind since Saturday when I learned of her death. I hated just having to write that-maybe that is why it's been so hard for me to even write about her. The mind seems to travel from shock.. to disbelief .. to denial. It's just unacceptable, can't be/why?why? this remarkable woman gone. Selfishly I think I will never meet her now. I had fantasized about meeting her someday - of taking a train down South; of the train pulling up into her small sleepy town. I imagined us sharing a glass of wine or two and talking into the night; maybe even dancing around the living room. I felt we were kindred spirits. Both born under the astrological sign of Leo (both enjoyed photography and poetry and music). We seemed to have alot in common- we both had children that we adored and black labs - hers a girl, mine a boy and difficult marriages. We gave each other bloggy awards, sent email jokes/videos alot and even exchanged a couple of personal emails and phone numbers, tho we never spoke on the phone.
Today, when I was walking thru the mall, back to Sears to get my car I heard a sad song playing and I thought of Suzanne again and felt sad again ; then at the exact same time I looked up as i was passing the pet shop and saw this puppy taking a crap right in the front window and thought now that would be a good picture and thought did Suzanne arrange that to make me think of her taking that picture and posting it on her blog - to make me smile when I think of her. maybe someday in the future I will, but right now I am still sad on losing this friend, this friend that I never "actually" met but who I did. And if there is an afterlife, I want the stool next to her so we can have that cool one and finally meet and have our talk.
Suzanne, till then. I will miss you.
Quote
Youth is, after all, just a moment, but it is the moment, the spark, that you always carry in your heart.
~ Raisa M. Gorbachev quotes
Joke Friday
A very thirsty guy realizes that he's just walked into a gay bar. He thinks, "What the hell, I really want a drink."
A gay waiter swishes up to him and says, "What's the name of your penis?"
The customer is shocked and says, "Look, I'm just not into that. All I want is a drink."
The waiter winks at him and says, "I'm sorry, honey, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis."
So the customer says, "All right, what's the name of YOUR penis?"
The waiter replies, "Well I call mine Timex, because it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin."
So the guy thinks about it for a couple of minutes and still can't come up with anything. So he asks the guy next to him his dick's name.
"I call mine Ford, because it's built ram tough. Have you driven a Ford lately?"
The customer thinks for a moment and says, "The name of my penis is Secret."
"Secret?" says the waiter, confused.
The customer says, "Yeah... strong enough for a man, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!"
Joke Friday
I booked into a hotel and said to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
"No," she says, "it's regular porn, you sick bastard."
Joke Friday
Paul Newman
Only women of a certain era will fully appreciate this.... True story. (If you don't understand this, tell your mother, she'll get it!)
A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small New England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited.
One Sunday morning, the woman got up early to take a long walk. After a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone.
She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village and went straight to the combination bakery/ice cream parlor.
There was only one other patron in the store:
Paul Newman, sitting at the counter having a doughnut and coffee.
The woman's heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blue eyes.
The actor nodded graciously and the star struck woman smiled demurely.
Pull yourself together! She chides herself. You're a happily married woman with three children, you're forty-five years old, not a teenager!
The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream cone in one hand and her change in the other. Then she went out the door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman's direction.
When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change but her other hand was empty.
Where's my ice cream cone? Did I leave it in the store? Back into the shop she went, expecting to see the cone still in the clerk's hand or in a holder on the counter or something! No ice cream cone was in sight..
With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman.
His face broke into his familiar,warm,friendly grin and he said to the woman,
'You put it in your purse.'
Joke Friday
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
'You all have obsessions,' he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.'
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'
He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: 'Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on, Dick, we're leaving. Your brothers Peter and Willy are waiting for us.'
The Editor
in me is having fun here in my drafts file - fun deleting all these old drafts - down to 15 and, probably not even half of them will see the light of day. It's funny but i do think that this might've been the job for me. Lots of times after movies i walk out thinking what they could've cut to make it better; and in books too, sometimes i think of a better ending or how they could've made things more beliveable or a character more likeable.
Yes, I think I would've liked having a red pen in my hand or being surrounded by what was left on the cutting floor.
(I'm waiting for an interview for a pt-time job at the local rag for editorial assisant-keep your fingers crossed.)
update: I received an email stating that they would be conducting interviews after Thanksgiving - but i never even got the interview- I did receive an email stating that the position had been filled. No cigar!
Sunday Sampler
Blog pick of the week: Lorna in wonderland ( I very much enjoy her wonderful wry humor).
Well, i'm off again on the great sofa/sectional hunt (wish me luck - i will need it!) -the ole champagne taste/beer budget thing. Can't imagine what it would be luck to just walk in and say i'll take that one." hey, but no thrill of the chase (who am i kidding- no headache). I want leather but afraid of this inexpensive Bicast leather that i'm considering- will it last??
Yippee!! I did it again!(3rd year running)! Nablopomo is over today - no more posting every day! - now i can just sit on my couch (if i get one).
Joke Friday
ITALIAN Women are TOUGH!
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite ravioli wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.
Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen, where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favorite ravioli.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture.
His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the ravioli was already in his mouth.
With a trembling hand he reached up to the edge of the table, when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.
'You Jerk!' she said.
'Those are for the funeral.'
Happy Turkey Day!
A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.
He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?
The boy replied, 'What turkey?'
The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'
The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'
The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.
If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?'
And the little boy said... 'I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!'
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!
(Thanks P.)
Manic Monday
Due to technical difficutlties this post is going to be short and to the point since the only reason that i am posting is because of this damn nablopomo. I am dead tired - i only got 3 or 4 hrs. sleep last nite since i woke up at 2AM I managed to muddle thru 8 hrs. of work. but the mouse in the den is not working so i'm on the laptop which i don't really like unless i'm on vacation and since it's like 30 degrees out i don't think i'm on vacation. And thedamn hi-tech lights over the kitchen island went out tonite too. i'm feeling especially technically challanged; so instead of getting freaked out about all this stuff that i need to get fixed, i'm going to bed.
Sunday Sampler
This weeks blog pick of the week: Just Painting - Go visit this wonderful painter.
Just in from Jordan's furniture and my head is about to explode. I am totally perplexed by the leather choices out there. i don't want the best or most expensive leather; i just want durable and affordable; oh and available in a sectional configuration. any suggestions greatly appreciated.
Joke Friday
This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati , he asked her, 'What did you steal?'She replied, 'A can of peaches.'The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6. The judge then said, 'I will give you 6 days in jail then.
'Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, 'What is it?'
The husband said, 'She also stole a can of peas.'
Trivia Thursday
Well if it weren't for Nablopomo there would be no post today - Grey's Anatomy is on, i still have to make the kid's lunch and I have nothing. Last night I was thinking of taking down this damn blog - yes i know it's a love/hate thing and i would miss it dearly. And yeah maybe i shouldn't have stopped my Prozac - it is winter and S.A.D. is real and of course there is my long history - nevermind- we're definitely not going there tonite.
Ok and since this blog looks like a bad case of days of the week underwear and it is Trivia Thursday, here is some trivia for you, or i should say something trivial.
well see here is my dilemma- I sold my sunroom/family room furniture to a friend who was moving last weekend - it's a long story and probably would make a better post than this.
i need to replace this couch so who out there has this new "microfiber" stuff. i can't believe that i'm considering this stuff since i absolutely hated it at first. Or should i take the big leap to leather ( hell i'm charging it anyway), is it worth it?
ok so place your vote now cause i ain't got anything to sit on.
microfiber or leather?
Manic Monday
Just another manic monday... wish it was sunday. It wasn't manic at all, pretty tame actually. The day kinda dragged - never a happy medium it seems. We passed the time between patients telling jokes. Day 17 here of (Nablopomo) and I really have nothing.
It is exciting hearing all the news about the Obama cabinet possibilities including Hillary. Crockhead had an interesting post about it yesterday- go check it out, or you can always check out what the puppies are doing ( see below).
Sunday Sampler
The good news:
Shiba Inu Puppy Cam
Live Videos by Ustream
The bad news: There are no rooms to be had ( cept for around one thousand dollars or more) in washington dc for the inaugeration. This is where i make a shameless plug to any washington bloggers or friends of bloggers to open up their house(for a fee of course) to me & a couple of my friends to be able to witness this historic event.
The worst news: Obama election spurs race threats, crimes.
Blog pick of the week: A man of my town Go read some of his very thoughtful posts.
Joke Friday
The love story of Ralph and Edna.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the
hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she
now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life
of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Trivia Thursday
How many democratic presidents have there been and how many republican presidents have there been? (answer at bottom).
but first some techno questions for you:
can anyone out there tell me what the heck happenned to blogroll?? i don't think it's just mine - tho mine no longer updates; but if you click on it it tells you that they are having problems -check back. so is it time to abort? and if so now what? what next? bloglines - is it complicated? i seem to remember trying it once. could someone tell me how to do it easily? I also need to see if i can get site meter back on here - there was a problem with the blog awhile back and i had to delete it.
Answer to trivia question: There have been 14 Democratics and 17 Republicans, but during the 1800 there were the "Democratic-republicans" which is now just called the Democratic Party so counting that you would come up with a total of 18 Democrats and 17 Republican.
opinion poll:
my computer is 7 yrs. old - has had 2 hard drives replaced. As it stands now it is
s-l-o-w-well you'd be slow too if you only ;had 256 KG of ram memory. so those are the facts and i want to know if u think it is crazy to add more memory??
Vote here now: Yes/No/ Say it isn't so ( your 2 cents). and while we're at it, how do you do those poll thingies??
6 degrees of separation
6 degrees of separation explained here.
The day after the election, I just kind of wandered around and pinched myself - really, wow, cool, unbelievable!!
Later that night i went out to the store and upon walking in i saw someone from the election. I had only met her and her husband once; but i remember noting how her husband prefaced what he said to people on the phone banks that nite with "i'm a viet-nam vet". latter we laughed together when he said about that "well, then they can't be "mean" to me.
So when i see her walking into the store, i say hello and we hug and strike up a conversation- comrades. we exchange phone numbers.
The next day, i notice a tall dark haired woman in the waiting area at work. yup another Obama volunteer. i go over and say hi and we talk about where and what we did election night- another comrade.
six or seven degrees of separation for sure.
Weekend update
Seeing as i have to post everyday this month because of (Nablopomo), i thought maybe i need a schedule. last year.
Sunday Sampler: (Blog pick of the week). This week's blog pick: castleruins (really great photography- go see!)
Manic monday (where i complain about work).
Haiku tuesday (you do know what haiku is don't you).
wednesday (tba)
thursday (tba)
Joke friday
Photohunt sat.
And ,of course ,I reserve the right to not follow the damn schedule at all.
Happy Weekend!!!
Joke Friday
Oct 20, 2008
Dear Red States:
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, andwe're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware,that includes California , Hawaii , Oregon , Washington , Minnesota,Wisconsin, Michigan , Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe thissplit will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the peopleof the new country of New California.To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue ofLiberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You getWorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent ofAmerica's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We gettwo-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states paytheir fair share.Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than theChristian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. Please beaware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we'regoing to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you needpeople to fight, ask your evangelicals.With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percentof the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineappleand lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent ofAmerica's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, mostof the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias andcondors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Techand MIT.With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health carecosts), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of thetornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all SouthernBaptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We getHollywood and Yosemite, thank you.Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah wasactually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacredunless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent saythat evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involvedin 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are peoplewith higher morals then we lefties.
Peace out,
Blue States
"The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time."
Is there life after campaigning?
Well, the day after the election I hung around the house; I just kept pinching myself. I didn't go to work and I didn't have to go the local Obama headquarters; so I looked around at the oh so many unfinished projects around here and since it was a nice day opted for an outdoor project; but really i mostly just did nothing. I really was in kind of a daze - happy for sure but also relieved - relieved that it was over and ended the way that i had only hoped but wasn't sure of until i heard them say it at about 11 PM on election night.
To recount election day - I went to work (begrudgingly- i wanted to be at HQ's); when i got there i checked my email and there it was an email from HQ's - "Vote and then get to a phone bank". Yipes! as much as i wanted to just quit and get on down there - i finished my morning shift, went to vote, came back -did the afternoon shift; then headed to HQ's. I thought we'd be there til 11:00 calling the west coast but at 7:30 we were released by the leader of this phone bank- told well maybe that is a good sign. well a few of us just looked at each other in disbelief - like what? stop now? go home and bite my nails?
Go home i did but the went out to a local Dem. party had a beer and a couple of slices of hot pizza ( a nice change from the steady diet of cold pizza and Halloween candy that i'd been eating down at HQ's.)
Back home and i settled down in front of the TV ( now with a glass of wine) at least now the Northeast had come in and he was ahead. Well i fell asleep and woke up to them saying that he'd won Virginia!! (what? Virginia? really? wow); went out to the kitchen for a glass of water and emptied the dishwasher (what was i thinking?- still working on nervous energy?). When i walked back into the sunroom, there it was on the TV - President elect Barack Obama!!!! OMG!!! I called my very good friend and reveled in the moment. I stayed up and watched his amazing acceptance speech,the shots of Times Square, DC and around the world in awe.
Then I went to bed happy and woke up happy and most importantly did not wake up in the middle of the night with night terrors ( what if? what if he doesn't win? what if the evil empire (Rep.) prevail with their robocalls and hate mail - i had woke up to an awful commercial that morning and then there were all those awful postcards from the Fla. Rep. committee to my Dad - who had passed away 3 yrs ago at 91 - a lifelong Democrat. I guess they just send them to all old people in Fla. then the news that they were calling Cubans in Fla. and telling them that Castro endorsed Obama. So so glad that all this was behind us now and that Yes we did! was the mantra of the day.
YES WE DID!!!!!!
BARACK OBAMA 44th PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES
OF AMERICA
And I couldn't be happier!!!!!!
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