Be still my beating heart...

The Thoughtful Blogger Award
For those who answer blog comments, emails, and make their visitors feel at home on their blogs. For the people who take others feelings into consideration before speaking out and who are kind and courteous. Also for all of those bloggers who spend so much of their time helping others bloggers design, improve, and fix their sites. This award is for those generous bloggers who think of others.

Another award - this could go to my head you guys. Feeling very underserveth (is that a word - good thing you don't have to be smart for this award) but flattered none the less. Ipanema over at Under the Canopy bestowed this on me and it does my heart good to know I fall in this category(even in just her book/blog).


Okay my turn to bestow (drum roll please~~~~~~~~~~~ The Awardees are:

Noelle
Suzanne
Jeanette
Nova Dad
Patry

Instructions: Choose 5 most thoughtful bloggers and award the same.

Edward Hopper


Went to Boston yesterday with my good friend, Mary. We went to see the Hopper exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts. It was awe-inspiring. It was almost overwhelming seeing all those wonderful, beautiful paintings all in one place. I just love artists, i guess that's why some of my best friends are artists. And moi, i'm the artiste wannabee(a dilatante - hate that word), but this is what happens when you don't decide what to be when you grow up. Poetry, photograpy and piano ( hey the 3 P's) but master of none. Woe is me- artist angst. Hopper had shades of existentialism in his work which also appeals to me. Was hard to pick a picture to post with this but i picked 7AM because i used to have a framed poster of this and for the life of me I can't remember what happened to it. Might have to get another. Lucky Steve Martin, owns a Hopper that was at the exhibit. Martin also narrated the little film clip on Hopper that they had playing.
It was great day!!

Joke Friday

NEVER ASK A SOUTHERN GRANDMOTHER

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they
aren't
prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called
his first
witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He
approached her
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've
known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You
think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you
never will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across
the room and ask ed, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
he was
a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated
on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes,
I know
him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a
very
quiet v oice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she
knows me,
I'll send you to the electric chair."

Thirteen Thursday



I am methodically going through my drafts folder (all 68 and deciding which to pitch) and even tho i didn't finish this one I thought I'd post it anyway - feel free to add/link yr. 13 (cat or dog).

Thirteen things I learned from my dog:

1) He will eat Anything (including cat poop).
2) Don't leave anything out( and that includes on beds or nightstands) that might be remotely edible (including the TV remote, cordless phone,books-expensive library ones.
3) Separation anxiety in dogs is very real ( i will even eat my way out of that expensive cage you bought)
4) If you're cute enof you get to sleep on the bed.
5) He can open doors(French that is)
6) A walk a day is good for you
7) The sun feels good shining down on you on the deck
8) It's fun smelling the air, especially with your head hanging out of a car window going 50 mi. per hr.
9) catching a ball in your mouth is an art form.
10) eating is a hobby & sport.

(If you click on the pic to enlarge you can see the drool coming out of the sides of his mouth and his beautiful brown King Kong eyes.)

and yes i do know its Wednesday, i probably should've saved this one til tmrr. but then I always was the rule breaker.

Records

I just reached 2 records and felt compelled to announce them:

10,000 visitors!! ( just passed this mark this week).
and....
500 posts ( just over, but 68 of those are saved drafts) so not truly there yet.

Hard to believe, but my 2 year Anniversary went unnoticed as well, back in May.

Sweeping...


I like to sweep(good thing since i have to do it everyday- with all the black lab hair and boy dirt),but i hate to vacuum, that is i hate the vacuum. I hate getting it out, dragging it around behind me, having thinks get stuck in them, their not working, having to get them fixed, changing the bag, putting them back(that is when i do - it's usual out for weeks before i use it sometimes, i might add.

And i hate to dust. spreading all that dust around! and to what end, it'll be back in a couple of days. But I know from where this stems - my mother must've hated to dust, cause that was a chore she had me do alot.

Laundry - not bad. don't mind doing it, but don't like putting it away and folding isn't that great either.

Favorite cleaning expressions:
Round Robin: basically you just keep doing things, are never really done.

Keeping the devil from your door: doing just enough so they don't condemn the place.

As for yardwork, believe it or not i like to weed - mindless satisfying weeding. No big decisions and a sense of accomplishment almost immediately.

So what's yr. favs/hates?

Joke Friday

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a
voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of
Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads , "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later
huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing
happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he
has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the m! ost
stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is
wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that
reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent
shape and it takes him a while before he can continue, so for the next
four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better
and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover
that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50
pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most
rigorous program." "Absolutely, " he replies, "I haven't felt this good
in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds
a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoesand a sign around his neck that reads,

"If I catch you, your ass is mine."

It must be a full moon...

Last nights dream was rather mundane/boring - dreamt about scrub pants colors - Blue, White & Tan and remember talking to a Doc. i work with who was telling me to get these better quality, more expensive pair - funny since he's such a tightwad - always saying Thanks, or goodbye after a shift if he sees us standing around for a minute after we've finished working up patients- if it's a few minutes before end of shift/punch out.
Hate dreamin about work on my vaca. Can't i get back to Paris? (see prev. post).

I finally applied for Passports for my son & I. While I was in the post office there was a loud noise and we looked out the window and saw a car had crashed into the building that houses the post office. 2nd time this year - another elderly person thinking she's in reverse.

Got some bad news - found out today that my niece ( my husband's brothers older girl) had a c-section today and her baby girl is ok but the tumor that they thought would be nothing is Cancer. She's only 28 and has 2 beautiful boys (2&4). This is so sad, so awful.

A friend called to tell me about the bridge collapsing in Minn. - she knows i don't regularly watch the news.

I checked the calendar and the full moon was Mon. I guess that explains some things.

Dream log




Last night I dreamt that I was in a car crash,fortunately i woke up.

Two nights ago I dreamt that I had a lover in Paris, unfortunately I woke up.

What did you dream last nite?

Joke Friday

the 11th Husband


A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times.?"

"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.

"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.


"Husband # 5 was an Engineer,he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implem ent, and design a new state of the-art method.


"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.


"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.


"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.


"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.


"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........... God I miss him.


" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".


"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?


"Your're with the "GOVERNMENT"..
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED."




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Check it out....


Noelle over at The Daily Tannebaum has given me an award - "The Rockin Blogger Girl Award". Like Noelle I secretly would like to be a rocker too; but unlike her I am too old now and the day job and carting the 13 yr. old to his sports gets in the way. Now I just hope that he will be more serious about his music than I was about mine and get really good at drums and be in a band so I can at least be a groupie finally.

Vacation came and went and time slipped away and I came home to find that Suzanne over at Liquid Illuzion also bestowed the award on me. Feelin like i have to go out and get a pair of stillettos to trip up and collect my Oscars on; also feeling very undeserveth as I practically have abandoned the blog, what with the garden and baseball and family visiting. I haven't missed a Joke Friday tho. I promise to do better. Yeah, yeah - give her the hook.

Now, the nominees please...Of all the deserving bloggers that I read out there I am going to pick - Jona of Lentulae Vitae because I just really enjoy reading her trials & tribulations even tho she doesn't post regularly( and who can blame her with that brood of hers) I'm always happy when i discover that she has. and Ipanema of Under the Canopy because she always makes me think.
and Patry Francis of Simply Wait, because she's my best friend and a great writer - Buy her book- The Liar's Diary.

Joke Friday

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He answered, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

"I'm a lesbian," the young woman replied. "I spend my entire day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cow boy?"

"I always thought I was," the old man replied, "but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

Joke Friday

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were spee! ding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don' t have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, would you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? !

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

pretty funny










Joke Friday

Sex, Church & Pancakes

Teen age sex

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was
concerned that her daughter was having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant
and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family
doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today
were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably
result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on
birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of
condoms.Later that evening, as her daughter was
preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed
her a box of condoms.The girl burst out laughing and reached
over to hug her mother saying:
"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!'

Church

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said 'Preacher,I'll tell you,that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!'
The preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'
The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!'
The preacher said, 'No shit?'

Pancakes

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-oldson to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'
'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'

No excuses...

but just too damn busy. Love the summer, but add working in the yard, and going to the beach every chance we get and baseball practice/games and trying to figure out vaca and it spells no damn time for la blog. I promise i will post as soon as i find some time to glue my butt to the seat. No time to think except for what i need to do. lists everywhere, clutter out of control and must clean the house, but i always put yardwork first. So is that enof excuses for you? if not I'm sure I can think of more. In the meantime I'll be lurking if not commenting. Miss you all.
Stay cool.

Joke Friday

THE ITALIAN TOMATO GARDEN

An Old Italian man lived alone in the country
He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard
work as the ground was
hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was
in prison. The old man
wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't
be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting
too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my
troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to
dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.


Dear Dad,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the
bodies.
Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police
arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man
received another letter from his son.


Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I
could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie

On the road again


Should be asleep. Having my usual pre-trip jitters. just polished off the ice cream so i'll be headin to bed soon.
Off to Montreal in the morning for a quick trip with #1 son and a youth group from temple. I'm the chaperone- shaking my head in disbelief on that one.
Now i'm wondering if there's anyone from blogland living in Montreal; I know some of you are Canadian but don't know the different areas at all.
Well, I'm not looking forward to the 7 hrs. in the car - 4/5 seems to be my limit; but the boy is excited about his first time out of the country and i'm sure it will be fun, once we get there.

Joke Friday

The Cardiologist's Funeral

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following
the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then
closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes
stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral..... I'm a gynecologist." At this point the urologist fainted...

Homework assignment

I don't know why but this morning standing on the side porch waiting for the wave from my 13 yr. old son that means the other kid is at the bus stop so that I don't have to fear for his abduction (when exactly will i stop fearing that?). anyway he was telling me about the last book that he just finished in a series that he devoured( no pun intended - it was about vampires - Cirque du Freak). I told him he would have to tell me about it at the beach this summer since this is his next to last day of school. And for some reason some books came flooding in my head. One of them was The Magus by John Fowles that I read ions ago. I remember that I really liked it but never really "got" it. anyone out there that read it, got it or not, and would like to right a bookreport. I'm an eary marker.

PS: i do realize that this should be edited but that would make me even later for work.
Ciao

Joke Friday

BIRTHDAY REMEMBRANCE

This week we celebrate a special birthday: Monica Lewinsky turned 31.
Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling
around the White House on her hands and knees and putting everything
in her mouth.

They grow up so fast, don't they?

fives

(Found this in the draft folder from last year and actually didnt' change a thing, so i guess it's true.)

Don't know whose blog I found this on and I think I might have done it before but hey, desperate times call for desparate measures.

1.5 things I would do if I were a millionaire
* buy a new "green"/hybird car and truck(for dump runs and the beach).
* Have a huge Bloggers convention/party
* Actually take some piano lessons.
* Take an extended vacation aka around the world
* Two words: plastic surgery

2. 5 bad habits
* procrastinating
* Drink too much wine
* Waiting until the last minute to do things
* sleep too little
* Eating poorly or too much

3. 5 things I hate doing
* Working out, although I know i need to.
* Going out in the cold.
* Vacuuming
* Dusting
* Mopping

4. 5 things I would never do
* Wear a fur
* Jump out of an airplane
* Crocodile hunt
* Run for political office
* Sing the national anthemn at a ball game

5. 5 things I regret doing
* Dropping out of college
* Working in the restaurant business 1/2 my life
* Staying at my present job that I don't like anymore
* Not making a decision
* Not finding my way

6. 5 favorite toys or things.
* PC
* Laptop
* my son's Ipod
* digital camara
* cell phone? nah - pizza

ok you know what to do.

Joke Friday

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises,
two black eyes, and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?"

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a
difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to
look for them and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows
had something white in its rear end."

I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball
with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the
cow's butt."

"Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!"

I don't remember much after that...

Musical Intelligence

Always a sucker for a quiz, i found this "Dominant Intelligence" one over at Ipanema's . I was just happy to find that I still had some. Who knew? My results were apprepo as I've been thinking my next career move should be to Lounge Lizard - playing piano at a piano bar. I knew i should've taken one of those aptitude tests long ago.

Go have fun and be sure to post yr. results.

Your Dominant Intelligence is Musical Intelligence
Every part of your life has a beat, and you're often tapping your fingers or toes.
You enjoy sounds of all types, but you also find sound can distract you at the wrong time.
You are probably a gifted musician of some sort - even if you haven't realized it.
Also a music lover, you tend to appreciate artists of all kinds.

You would make a great musician, disc jockey, singer, or composer.
http://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href= Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?


Here's a link to the test.

Vivid memory


I have this vivid memory of sitting on the steps of this boarding house, where we stayed summers when i was a kid, and looking down into the living room. The grownups were having a party and they'd sent us kids up to bed. I can picture myself sitting on the very top of the steps before the spindles started and trying to peek down through them and Ida ( the owner of the boarding house) saying "she's still up?" to my mother and my mother coming up to tell me to go to bed.
Was it that i feel left out or just curious about the adults ?


What's a childhood memory of yours?

Joke Friday

A guy goes to a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from, so he says "Do you know me?" to which she replies "I think you're the father of one of my kids."Now he thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My god, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my ass with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt?" She said, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."

Driven vs. Overwhelmed


(Funny i was just thinking/feeling this way today and i wrote this a year ago, i guess this is a regular state for me you could say.)

It seems I fluctuate between these 2 states, tho lately i've been pretty much just in the overwhelmed camp.
why is it that sometimes i'm gangbusters, can get everything done, go,go,go; multitasking maniac who on the downside of getting things done can't relax for beans. And then at other times everywhere i look i see work and i just practice avoidance-doing anything but addressing the task at hand. Instead of prioritizing i just flit from thing to thing - like as long as i keep moving it means i'm gettting something done, doesn't it? ok, just humor me please,cause it sure doesn't look like i did a damn think today, but i swear I never sat down.


(seems i've touch on this before, is it seasonally?)

Joke Friday

Subject: 59 and Pregnant

A woman went to the doctor's office, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about 4 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said,



"Does she still have the hiccups?"

Insomnia

This post was written on May 25, 2006- almost exactly a yr. ago and even tho i've been sleeping better lately, with the help of a mother's little helper, faced with the choice of delete or post, I thought i'd post it anyway.

Recent thoughts on insomnia and bloggers
It seems to me that a fair share of the bloggers that i like and frequent have one of the same problems as me - Insomnia. It got me to thinking: what causes it, are there predispostions to it? Some of my reasons for it are"
Worry - some unresolved problem/conflict always ready and waiting to jump in at a moments notice.
We just plain Think too much - so as soon as a glimmer of consciousness appears our thought processes jump into gear. I sometimes find myself thinking as i get up to go to the bathroom or tend the aging/wailing cat who wants food or me in the middle of the nite - i find myself thinking - just go to the bathroom and get right back to sleep. tyring to will my mind back into unconsciousness.
The creative juices decide to flow in the middle of the night/never in the middle of a blank page; such as an idea for a blog post.
Procratination( perhaps a distant cousin to insomnia?) That list starts playing - all those things you didn't check off on your to do list.


What's your take on this??

Full Moon


R. Laban

( No time to post, but since i like this picture so much I decided to post this unedited rant from 2 wks ago)

Working title: Sleeplessnes take one hundred and fifty-two.......

Tonite,it was the damn, annoying, cough. But when I tried to ignore it, i started hacking from the dry feeling and reached for the water, then for the cough drops(which i live on. Tonite i got panicky in the car ,with the family, on the way to the restaurant because when i reached in my purse to see if i had any at first I didn't think i did, then i realized i did, big sigh of relief as I chewed my Tums that I did remember to grab on the way out the door.) But now no cough drop on the nite stand! Then I notice, as i head for the bathroom because now that i'm awake i'm aware that i need to, that I'm kinda sweaty(nothing out of the ordinary for me(I'm not mentioning that dirty word tho), ok where was I ( now i'm even lost in this run-on record breaker).
Ok so back to bed i go, realizing full well that I'm wide awake and already thinking about writing this as well as other draft material. But I'm choosing to ignore the pull of this dang internets(as our illustrious(idiot) presi(nope not gonna go there). Am I breaking any Guiness records for rambling yet?(I'm sure when i reread this it will remind me of one of my college papers on speed - and those were in long hand! you didn't pull out the typewriter till the final draft - maybe that was a good thing). Am I overdosing on cough syrup yet? Nope, because then i would be asleep. (*Note to self - don't be so cheap, go to walmart and buy that exspensive Delsum cough syrup instead of comparing the labels/ingredients and price and buying the store brand or better yet go to the walk in urgent care clinic($20 co-pay to go tell the doc what i need since i've already researced it on Web MD - hey can he be my primary - he's always availabe, unlike when i call and I'm offered an appt. 2 months from now. maybe i can get a script for the good cough medicine and some nasal spray for the damn post nasal drip that is causing it!

ok back to our regularly scheculed program of me bitchin and moanin. So i get up and go downstair to refill the water and turn off a light in the kitchen and put the kitchen nite lite on
When turning off the lights in the kitchen I noticed it was still pretty bright, so when i passed thru the dining room i went over to the window to find the moon and yup (full).
Ok I thought there was a point to this story but i see it's like my college paper on drugs, not worth editing, just start over in the morning.

Joke Friday

Some tips for Retirement planning from an expert in the
industry:

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock three years ago,it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original
$1000.00.

WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

But if over the last three years you had purchased $1000.00
worth of beer, drank all the beer, then returned the cans or
bottles for your refund you would have $614.00.

So based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink beer and recycle.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag you're it

I was tagged by Matt,over at Faith & Family, to list eight random things about myself. Before I actually complete my list, I'm required to list the following rules:

I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
I like the categories of random things that Matt picked for his list, so I think I'll just stick with those.

Food: A bagel for breakfast, pizza for lunch and pasta for dinner and a salad(preferably Greek or with some cheese in it.)

Family: Married for 15 years! with a wonderful son!! and Jackson(3yr.old black lab).

Exercise: Yardwork,housework and walking the dog.

Profession: Ophthalmic technician for 20 yrs!! and bartender previous to & during that for an equal amount of time. remember they overlapped, but i did start working at 14 (camp counselor).

Obsession: hmm ... Renovating my house. Basically rebuilt it while living in it the past 6 yrs. roof, windows and siding, side steps/entry, front steps/stone wall, kitchen/dining room, both bathrooms, sunroom/family room and new mantel and crown molding for the living room, oh, and paint of course. Now I want to refinish the basement and replace the bulkhead with a walkout structure and new deck, finish landscaping front and back and we also need a new heating system( might as well do AC too, right? what bank can i rob?

Faith: Jewish by birth and raising my son in that faith but secretly Zen buddhistish.

Ailments: Just recovered from 3 yrs. of tendonitis(elbow) and bursitis(shoulder). knocking wood. Currently suffering from ? GERD - seeing a gastroenteroligist tmrrw. i'm sure i'll be posting on that. And just getting over the longest cold (upper respitory infection) on record or i have allergies.

Games: Pool,Bid whist, Scrabble, backgammon.

Oh and the rulebreaker isn't tagging 8 people as is stated in the rules but just asking any & all takers to leave a link in comments if you decide to join in.

Mother's Day

Minus: Food shopping
card shopping
last minute flower shopping
no card or call from stepdaughter
yet another school project - when is school out?
words with son/don't use that tone of voice on me

Plus: Went out for breakfast - didn't have to cook or clean up
Didn't break a sweat - didn't do too much
Walked the dog
Didn't have to cook dinner/yummy key lime pie for dessert
nice card & present from son
kiss goodnite from son

Joke Friday

(not my sentiments but very funny)

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.

Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl
in the world."

Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."

Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the most disgusting person in the world."

So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to
have their claims verified.

Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy.
"It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."

Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am now officially the
smallest person in the world."

Sometime later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and
says."Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell ?

Joke Friday

Joke of the Day - A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how is manifests itself:

I decide to wash my car. As I start toward to the garage, I notice
that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the
mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash
can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the
trash first, but then I think that since I’m going to be near the
mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table and see that there is only one check
left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, o I go to my
desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. I’m going
to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I
don’t accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the
refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the
counter catches my eye–they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter and I discover my reading
glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I’d better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to
water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water,
and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight, when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for
the remote, but nobody will remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so
I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll
water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up
the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day; the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren’t
watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook,

I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember
what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really
baffled because I know I was busy all day long and I’m really tired. I
realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it,
but first I’ll check my e-mail.

We didn't start the fire...



This is really good, check it out.

ten weird things/habits about yourself

(ah these drafts do come in handy. Anne (Dakato Blue Eyes) over at What's on my mind tagged me for this meme and i just discovered that it was a saved draft from Aug '06 when some other nice person must've tagged me.)

1) I have what I've heard called a Transition problem or in plain English, i can't get out of my own way. I invariable have to come back in the house at least once for something I've forgotten. Forget it when I have to pack for a trip.( I have dreams about forgetting things - usually my hair products and make up).
2) I hate dinner time unless we are eating out. I wait to the last minute to even think about it then just go into panic mode and usually order take out.
3) I clean house ADD style, jumping from room to room, floor to floor - it never looks like i did anything.
4) I hate to fly. I used to just have copious cocktails at the Airport bar, but then they kinda frown at children sitting at the bar.
5) I hate to food shop. I rarely have a list or even look to see what we need. I just kind of wing it and when I can't stand being in the store anymore I just leave. Hence I shop several times a week- and hence the take out.
6)I love to dream (cept for the nightmares), just hate to sleep.
7) world class procrastinator and time waster.
8) I like dancing around the house. (old dancing queens die hard)
9) I never finish projects. (just start a new one)
10) Prince charming grown up blues: even tho i know he doesn't exist, I'm still hoping he'll come take me away from all this. (yes probably the weirdest of them all since i'm married).

Tagging any & all takers, just leave a link in comments.

Joke Friday

Butch the rooster,

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets" and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the Boone County Fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...

The judges not only awarded Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. Clearly Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

American Idol

I stopped watching the show this year, was bored/sick of it, no one appealed to me, seemed talented, was growing tired of the judges - always the same. Then the other night my 13 yr. old who had also stopped watching it had it on, told me Bono was going to be on ( our favorite). And there was Ben Stiller being Ben Stiller ( very funny) and Ellen and House(love him!) and countless other celebs. But then the piece de la resistance- the African Childrens Choir ( what happy smiling faces and beautiful voices). The film clips of the orphans and sick mothers was extremely moving. My son was moved as well, he said to me, maybe I should donate my 200 dollars ( the money he has saved for a Kayak); but i told him that i would go to the website and donate with my credit card. The next morning he asked me if I had. I did but still feel like we should do more. If you can Please go here and help save children in poverty in the US(Katrina flood victims) and Africa(orphans/some with HIV or Malaria.)
Thank you.

New York state of mind



Hero

(similar but different - more about the holocaust survivor that gave his life. I decided to post this because of when looking up some of the site meter info I came upon this hateful/horrid/antisemtic site with multiply comments that left me with a very bad feeling.The last article of the three makes some interesting points about the VT massacre, violence and evil.)

BY CRUEL FATE, A SURVIVOR DIES A HERO

Gabrielle Birkner
New York Sun, April 18, 2007

In a cruel twist of fate, an engineering lecturer who survived the Holocaust and fled communist Romania was shot dead Monday morning during the massacre that killed 32 at Virginia Tech.

Witnesses have said Liviu Librescu, 76, died trying to keep the gunman out of his second-floor classroom and that his efforts may have saved the lives of some of his students, whom he encouraged to escape through the windows. "He certainly showed his true character trying to protect the kids," an engineering professor at Virginia Tech, Joseph Schetz, told The New York Sun. "I'm not surprised by what he did. He was a people person." A makeshift shrine with flowers and a photograph of Librescu was set up on the Blacksburg, Va., campus yesterday.

Librescu was one of two Virginia Tech faculty members who were killed when a 23-year-old student from South Korea, Cho Seung-Hui, went on a shooting rampage in a dormitory, West Ambler Johnston Hall, and in classrooms at Norris Hall. The head of the engineering science and mechanics department, Ishwar Puri, said of Librescu: "He was an exceptionally tolerant man who mentored scholars from all over our troubled world."

Librescu survived the Holocaust in a labor camp in Transnistria and in a Jewish ghetto in Focsani, Romania. After World War II, he studied in Romania, earning degrees in aeronautical engineering and a doctorate in fluid mechanics. He worked for the state aerospace agency but faced roadblocks in Romania because he refused to pledge allegiance to the communist regime of Nicolae Ceausescu.

After Prime Minister Begin of Israel intervened on behalf of Jews living in Romania, Librescu and his family were allowed to immigrate to Israel in 1978. There he worked at Israeli universities before taking what was to be a sabbatical year at Virginia Tech more than 20 years ago. He instead decided to put down roots.

An engineering professor at Virginia Tech who had known Librescu for about two decades, Rakesh Kapania, said his colleague "was not known to speak about his past." In an interview, Mr. Kapania said Librescu was a "good teacher" and a "kind-hearted person" who would be missed by his colleagues and students. A longtime lecturer at the university, Librescu was teaching a class this semester in solid mechanics. He was a frequent contributor to academic journals and was to deliver the keynote lecture at a scientific conference in Taipei, Taiwan, in June.

"I know he did very good research," an engineering professor at Virginia Tech, Mayuresh Patil, said. "You can look at his list of publications. He was very prolific." Mr. Patil, 33, said Librecu was well-liked by his younger colleagues because he was supportive of their research but never patronizing. "He was a well-known, well-respected guy," Mr. Patil, who first met Librescu about 10 years ago, said.

Librescu is survived by his wife, Marlena Librescu, and two sons, Arieh Librescu and Joseph Librescu. "I lost my best friend," Mrs. Librescu said yesterday. "He was a great person who loved teaching more than anything." Librescu will be buried in Israel.


PROFESSOR’S VIOLENT DEATH CAME WHERE HE SOUGHT PEACE

Colin Moynihan
New York Times, April 19, 2007

Prof. Liviu Librescu faced many trials in his 76 years, growing up and living in Romania. There were the Nazis, who imprisoned his family when he was a child. Then there was the totalitarian regime of Nicolae Ceausescu, which forbade him from working when he refused to join the Communist Party.

But it was a trial in a most unlikely place that proved to be deadly. On Monday, Professor Librescu faced danger when a student armed with pistols and the determination to kill approached the room where the professor was teaching a class in solid mechanics.

Professor Librescu never moved from the door of Room 204 in Norris Hall at Virginia Tech, witnesses said, even as the gunman, Cho Seung-Hui, was shooting. Directing his students to escape through windows, Professor Librescu was fatally shot.

Yesterday, a funeral was held for the professor in the Borough Park section of Brooklyn. Professor Librescu’s body was taken there by Chesed Shel Emes, a Jewish organization that specializes in helping people in times of trauma, said Rabbi Edgar Gluck, a member of the group, who said that the professor had been struck by five bullets. The professor’s body was to be flown to Israel last night and he will be buried before sundown today in Raanana, near Tel Aviv, Rabbi Gluck said.

About 300 people showed up at the Shomrei Hachomos, an Orthodox chapel. They arrived to recognize a remarkable, resilient life and an act of courage that ended that life. “This was a man who gave his ultimate for his fellow man,” Assemblyman Dov Hikind of Brooklyn told the mourners. “He gave his life for his students.”

In Blacksburg, Va., one of those students, Caroline Merrey, 22, described some of the chaos that unfolded inside Room 204. “We had heard the gunfire coming from the classroom behind us, and we just reacted to it and headed for the windows,” Ms. Merrey said. “Professor Librescu never made an attempt to leave.” Ms. Merrey said she and about 20 other students scrambled through the windows as Professor Librescu shouted for them to hurry. She said she felt sure his actions helped save lives.

“He’s a part of my life now and forever,” she said. “I’m changed. I’m not the person I was before Monday.”

Speaking to a reporter by telephone from Israel, Professor Librescu’s son, Yossi Librescu, 40, a computer engineer, said he took some solace in the appreciation being expressed for his father. “He was passionate about life,” Mr. Librescu said. “He had no fear of death.”

He said that his father was born in Romania in 1930. After surviving the Holocaust, Mr. Librescu said, his father became a refusenik in Romania and lost his job as an aerospace engineer. But in 1976, Liviu Librescu secretly published a book in Norway that advanced a theory of aerospace technology that grabbed the attention of others in the field. In 1978, after lobbying by groups in Israel, he was permitted to leave Romania and settle there. He began teaching at Virginia Tech in 1985, university officials said.

Mr. Librescu said that the bucolic environs of Blacksburg provided a respite from the rigors of his father’s earlier life. His house was built on the edge of a forest and he took long walks daily, enjoying nature. He listened to classical music and settled into the calm, productive rhythms of his new existence. “He found Virginia to be a place that allowed him to be inspired,” Mr. Librescu said.

Professor Librescu’s coffin, draped in black cloth, was wheeled into the chapel just after 2 p.m. Mr. Hikind spoke briefly and another man sang a sad lament in Hebrew. At 2:18, several men lifted the coffin to their shoulders and carried it outside.

The professor’s wife, Marlena, stood outside and spoke about her husband. “His life was only his family and his students,” Ms. Librescu said. “Everybody told me he was like a father.”

Down the block, men dressed in black marched toward New Utrecht Avenue, carrying the coffin. As the N train screeched overhead, the words of the Kaddish were recited.

“He was always, always helping,” Ms. Librescu said. “But he was not able to help himself.”


NO POLICY CAN OUTWIT THE GRIM REAPER

David Frum
Daily Telegraph, April 18, 2007

A quiet spring day on a rural campus—then suddenly shots, shouting, chaos, death. Our minds cannot absorb such fathomless violence. We need to impose order on it, find explanations. And so, within minutes of the mass murder at Virginia Tech University, a great conversation erupted as Americans—and the rest of the world—tried to make sense of the senseless.

It was a classic American crime: an angry loner, enraged by the failure of a love affair, turns his anger on the world around him. Think of John Muhammad, the Washington sniper of 2001; John Hinckley, the would-be assassin of Ronald Reagan; Charles Whitman, the clocktower killer at the University of Texas, whose 1966 rampage was until this week the deadliest campus crime in US history.

Such stories are too random and terrifying for the mind to absorb. So, instead, we attempt to squeeze these crimes into our pre-existing categories and use them to advance our ideological agendas and thereby apportion blame. In the hours since Monday's attacks, three such categories have been presented to the American public.

The one probably most familiar to British audiences attributes killings such as those at Virginia Tech to the easy availability of firearms in the US. There is some truth in this. The murderer, Cho Seung-Hui, appears to have legally purchased a Glock 9mm automatic pistol shortly before the attack. Had it been more difficult to buy such a weapon, perhaps his crime could have been prevented—or at least rendered less lethal.

There is also an element of plausibility to the second explanation—the feminist one. Even in countries where guns are difficult to obtain, male sexual jealousy does daily, deadly damage. The British Home Office contends that domestic violence kills more young women worldwide than war, cancer and motor vehicle accidents.

Then there's the third and final explanation—immigration. Seung-Hui was a Korean-born resident alien. Aliens increasingly drive the US crime problem: about one third of California's prison population is first- or second-generation immigrant, as is 29 per cent of the federal prison population. Salvadoran and other Central American gangs commit the worst violence in many American cities. The finger of blame is easily pointed.

So which shall we blame? Guns? The male psyche? Immigration? None of the above? Or some of all of the above?…

[But] why are we blaming anything or anyone for this crime other than the criminal himself?

Crime can be reduced. Since 1990, the number of homicides in the US has been cut from almost 25,000 a year to about 15,000. Schools have launched programmes to predict potentially violent students. Some require transparent backpacks, and others have instituted sophisticated psychological profiling. All will pounce on any student joke about copy-catting Columbine. Meanwhile, many local police departments have attempted to modernise their tactics.

America will try to learn lessons from this latest tragedy too. But there is no escaping the hardest lesson: that death lies waiting around the corner for us all. No public policy can rescue us from that grim human fact—or the equally fearful obligation to walk with courage under the burden of the reality of evil.

Not a joke friday

READ THIS. LET IT REALLY SINK IN. THEN CHOOSE.

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!

You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood."

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

He continued, "..the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine.But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

The Big Apple



Just Awful

(Someone sent this to me in an email. My heart goes out to the families of those killed and hurt.)

Holocaust survivor killed in Virginia massacre

One of victims in Virginia Tech shooting rampage Monday is Prof Liviu Librescu, senior researcher at university. Librescu was killed after he stayed behind his class to block door and protect students. Massacre claimed lives of 32 people. Prof Librescu and his wife are both Holocaust survivors who immigrated to Israel from Romania in 1978.

WASHINGTON – Prof Liviu Librescu, a senior researcher and lecturer at Virginia Tech, is among the 32 people who were killed during a shooting rampage at the university Monday.

His wife, Marlina, and two sons, Arieh and Joe, have already begun making arrangements for his burial in Israel.

One of Prof Librescu's students, Alec Calhoun, who was with him at the classroom when the shooting started, told AP that at about 9:05 am, he and classmates heard "a thunderous sound from the classroom next door, what sounded like an enormous hammer."

When students realized the sounds were gunshots, Calhoun said, they started flipping over desks for hiding places. Others dashed to the windows of the second-floor classroom, kicking out the screens and jumping from the ledge of the room.

Calhoun said that just before he climbed out the window, he turned to look at the professor (Librescu), who had stayed behind to block the door.

Librescu's wife drove him to work on Monday, and he was killed about an hour later. His daughter-in-law Ayala, who is married to his son, Joe, told Ynet: "I heard he blocked the door of the classroom he was teaching… he must have realized that the murderer was approaching. He saved his students and was killed by gunshots."

"He has been teaching there for 20 years, and was a senior, world-renowned lecturer. He is the professor with the highest number of publications in the history of Virginia Tech. In the past, he taught at Tel Aviv University and the Technion," she added.

Ayala said that her father-in-law was passionate about his research and a dedicated family man.

A true gentleman

Prof Librescu and his wife are both Holocaust survivors who immigrated to Israel from Romania in 1978.

Librescu was an accomplished scientist in Romania, and the Communist regime had tried to prevent him from making aliyah to Israel. He was allowed to leave the country only after the Israeli prime minister at the time Menachem Begin appealed the matter to President Nicolae Ceausescu.

Several years later, Librescu left for a sabbatical in the United States and has remained there since. His first son, Arieh, lives in Israel, while his other son, Joe, resides in the US. "I understand from friends that my father was a hero," the son Joe told Ynet. "In fact, by blocking the door with his body he saved all the students who were in the classroom."

Joe said that his parents were very happy in the United States, where they have been living since 1984. "He and my mom led a simple life, at a pastoral place in West Virginia, between hills and mountains, and he loved the school in which he taught."

"He is scientist who did not work for money, but for the pleasure he got from his occupation," he added.

Mariah

I woke,like i usually do, in the middle of the night. Sometimes it's because I'm hot and have to throw the blankets off (curses to menopause), other times to go to the bathroom (curses to my aging bladder),or i've woken because of my new ailments: pain in my arm or discomfort of my ? reflux problem ( damn stress and infirmity) and other times its my damn mind - i just start thinking.
Tonite it was all of the above. I woke up, threw off the down comforter, went to the bathroom, went to lie back down and felt the annoying feeling in my throat and started thinking.
I noticed the light on the clock next to my bed was flashing and from the hallway I noticed a light on downstairs and wondered what light had been left on. I thought it was a light in the living room but when i went down there i saw that the light was coming from the sunroom, which was odd because the french doors were closed and we don't really use that room in the winter. My son & I had been out at the Yom Ha-Shoah ceremony and come up here to the den after eating our subs at the kitchen island. When my husband came home from work, he also came up here to the smallest room in the house and the one most used. I opened the doors and shut it off and proceeded to the kitchen to let the dog out who now thought it was time to get up and get fed. I reset the flashing clocks on the stove and microwave and went back up after feeding puppy of course. Then I got back in bed and realized the futility of my actually sleeping, so i came in the den to write down some of the ideas flashing through my head.
This post was supposed to be about the hour i spent lying in bed, before i got up, listening to the wind.

YOM HA-SHOAH

HOLOCAUST MEMORIAL DAY


ZACHOR
"Remember"

Joke Saturday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg%20

I was hoping for a hyperlink at least. :(

No Joke

I wanted to post this great UTube video; but it seems that I can't get it to work with the new Google Blogger. anyone out there know what I'm doing wrong? it used to be so simple.

NY NY




I Love New York



Yes, I did choose this title to attract hits. It could've been "On the road again", which my sweet son was singing as we pulled out of the driveway. I was still in my post packing tizzy and already worrying about what I'd forgotten that I had to ask him what he just sang. I asked him,"where have you heard that song? do you know who it's by?" and he said no, he's just heard me singing it. who knew cornyness is an inherited trait?

We took off an hour late because of my packing phobia. I put it off til the last minute. Then I couldn't even find the overnight/wkend nylon bags that i like to use for short trips and frantically searched the attic twice and ripped apart the guest/den closet ( and left everything in it's tornado like state, i might add). I found them after we had devised alternates of course! They were buried under some stuff , which i found when i went looking for a lost pocketbook.
which brings me to another reason why i am so lame at packing, it's because, i don't get much practice, i hardly go anywhere. And when i'm home, i usually wear uniforms to work and then my uniform here - jeans and whatever to clean, paint, garden, hang around the house. It is really hard to come up with "outfits" when you don't really have any. when you buy things because they are on sale and you need new jeans, or pants or buy a random top cause you like it. Go try and figure out what to pack from the odd assortment. And then there are all the products to bring and hair clips to manage the unruly hair and what about accessories?
Anyway I really needed to get away and we had a great time in NY and NJ. I won't promise to tell you more later because we all know I never finish anything. But I will post some pics. Tomorrow, I promise, really.
Oh yeah and Happy Birthday Annie Lamott!!

Joke Friday

(Wow, where did that week go? getting really behind on my posts here. Well, here's a short but cute one for you.)

A husband and wife are in bed together. She feels his hand against her shoulder. “Oh honey, that feels good” she says.

His hand moves to her back. “Gee, honey that feels wonderful.” She says.

His hand moves to her leg. “Oh, honey, don’t stop.” She begs.

But he stops…………………

“Why did you stop?” she cries???



“ I found the remote…”

Joke Friday

(A Jersey joke in honor of my visiting my homestate this weekend. Have a great weekend!)

White House Fence
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House inD.C.
One from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida. They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

A Jersey joke in honor of my visit to my home state this weekend.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some Measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100.profit for me."

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

Blues Meme

R. Laban

my dark blue eyes
my father's light blue eyes
my sons smiling blue eyes
the beloved sea breaking on the beach
clear blue skies up above
my blue & white dishes
my favorite jeans
my old jean jacket
navy blue pea coat
blueberries with light cream and sugar
some of my favorite music and musicians
billie holiday, john lee hooker, bb king
purple blue iris' growing in my back yard
blue green plants in the front yard
soothing blue green walls in my kitchen.

I didn't know what the date was all day til now- when i realized that tomorrow is my father's birthday - he died 2 yrs ago. He was in the back of my mind all day, i just didn't know why.

Joke Friday

Catholic education with a #2 pencil


Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School .Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. "Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"

When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend, sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.

The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"

But Mary didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.

"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, "Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back a sleep.

The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

Again, Johnny came to the rescue.

This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"


The nun fainted...........

restaurant characters


( found just a few sentences in a saved draft from 4/06 - had fun morphing it out. will have to revisit this with some classic customers, co-workers and more bosses.)

First there are the owners/managers/higher ups:

At my first waitressing job in Vt. I learned how to make drinks because there was never a bartender on at lunchtime and the owner told me to just come find her but she was always outside doing something with the plants. Instead I would just get the red Mr. Boston bartending guide out and make them myself. My first Manhattan i shook instead of stirred.

At this other place up in Vt. there was a really mean chef who would just let you grab a hot plate and not say a word. I really hated him.

Eddie -chef at a big hotel with singing waiter & waitresses (not me)- he had a German accent, I can't believe i can remember his name - i guess he left quite an immpression on me. He was large (fat) with dark hair and a mustache and called me "The black widow". He was mean. My Irish friend, Angela, got me this job. Never knew whether to thank her or cuss her.

Chef/owner at seafood shanty on Martha's Vineyard was always yelling at us for eating food off the dirty plates! give me a break!! if we've lowered ourselves to eat people's leftovers just leave us the hell alone.

Then there was Bobby, the owner of the bar in Northampton, MA. who lived upstairs and would come down at closing time and yell: Hotel/motel time - don't wake up with a lizard and "You don't have to go home but you can't stay here." - those words are forever etched in my mind.

Rodrigo y Gabriela

My new favorite song. Having problems posting from U tube on the new blogger.

Happy St. Patricks Day!!

(R rated)

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money
between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of 50 pence.

Murphy said, "Hang on, I have an idea."

He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large
sausage.Shamus said, "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at
all."

Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me."

He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and
two glasses of Jameson whisky.

Shamus said, "Now you've lost it.

Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!"
Murphy replied with a smile, "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!"They
downed their drinks.

Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on
your knees and put it in your mouth."
The barman noticed them, went berserk and threw them out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk all for
free.

At the tenth pub, Shamus said, "Murphy, I don't think I can do any more of
this. Me knees are killin' me!"
Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub."

St. Patricks Day Joke Friday

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."


Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do, Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to Heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."


Paddy was in New York
He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians." Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"


Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"


An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"


Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.
"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."


Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his Way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt
And Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.


Happy St. Patrick's Day !!!!

slip sliding away


It seems that I have a case of blogger's block. I've started a few, I have a plethora of saved drafts, I have the Bar Mitzvah to chronicle, but all i've been able to muster is Joke Friday, maybe out of a sense of duty. I even thought maybe i should change the name of the blog to Joke Friday. So when the going gets tough the tough get going, so i was even thinking that maybe i should announce a break; oh no, not again, idle threats. But that usually does work to get me going again. But this time the answer presented itself when i was cleaning out my file drawer in my desk, throwing out old insurance papers from years and plans past. There they were my old poems from when I don't want to tell you when; let's just say they were on onion paper and if you don't know what that is, i'm not telling you. so that's just what i did, i typed in some more of my old poems from the previous century.

Joke Friday

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it slices into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge lump on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him.
"Goodness," says the golfer. then proceeds to revive the poor little guy. Upon awakening, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun, and I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and walks away. Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks to himself "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money (so he'll never have to go without a pint of ale), a great golf game, and a great sex life."
A few weeks later the Irishman is out golfing again. As he's walking to the 16th green, he hears a voice calling him from the woods.
He walks over, and sees the leprechaun again. He asks how his head is feeling. The leprechaun says, "Oh, I'm fine. And might I ask how your golf game is?"
The golfer says, "It's funny you should ask, but it's been amazing. It seems I can't miss anymore!" "I did that for you," responds the leprechaun, "And might I ask how your money is holding out?" "Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a twenty dollar bill" he replied. The leprechaun smiles and says, "I did that for you,too. And might I ask how your love life is?" Now the golfer looks around, as if to be sure that no one else can hear, and says in a low voice, "Well, it's been okay."
"Just okay?" the leprechaun asks. "How often do you have sex?" "Oh, maybe once or twice a week." Floored, the leprechaun stammers, "Only once or twice a week?" The golfer replies, "Well, that's really quite a lot for a Catholic priest in a small parish

Joke Monday

Amid all the party preparation on Friday, Joke Friday somehow wound up on my New Poems site. I'm not surprised, as my mother used to say, it's lucky your head is attached.

http://www.cafeoflifepikespeak.com/Videos/Licensed%20To%20Pill.swf

Nightmares


Aren't nightmares the worst. Had possible the worst that I've ever had last nite. I woke around 4 AM and couldn't sleep and came into the den and went on the computer and checked email for a minute, then lay on the futon to read but my eye was doing this weird thing, probably a ophthalmic migraine but it was right in the center instead of in the periphery where i've had them before, so since it was interfering with reading, i closed my eyes for awhile, then turned off the lights to go to sleep. Before long i was in the middle of a terrifying nightmare, I was dreaming that i was having a stroke or something and I was trying to wake myself up but i couldnt'. It was terrifying. when i finally did and was able to move i got up but then realized that i was still dreaming. there was no one in my house. This happend over and over. I tried calling my husband but he wasn't there and neither was my son. Then other people would pop in, no one that i knew, especially since they had very distorted/disturbing faces.
I was really relieved when i finally woke up.