Tag you're it

I was tagged by Matt,over at Faith & Family, to list eight random things about myself. Before I actually complete my list, I'm required to list the following rules:

I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
I like the categories of random things that Matt picked for his list, so I think I'll just stick with those.

Food: A bagel for breakfast, pizza for lunch and pasta for dinner and a salad(preferably Greek or with some cheese in it.)

Family: Married for 15 years! with a wonderful son!! and Jackson(3yr.old black lab).

Exercise: Yardwork,housework and walking the dog.

Profession: Ophthalmic technician for 20 yrs!! and bartender previous to & during that for an equal amount of time. remember they overlapped, but i did start working at 14 (camp counselor).

Obsession: hmm ... Renovating my house. Basically rebuilt it while living in it the past 6 yrs. roof, windows and siding, side steps/entry, front steps/stone wall, kitchen/dining room, both bathrooms, sunroom/family room and new mantel and crown molding for the living room, oh, and paint of course. Now I want to refinish the basement and replace the bulkhead with a walkout structure and new deck, finish landscaping front and back and we also need a new heating system( might as well do AC too, right? what bank can i rob?

Faith: Jewish by birth and raising my son in that faith but secretly Zen buddhistish.

Ailments: Just recovered from 3 yrs. of tendonitis(elbow) and bursitis(shoulder). knocking wood. Currently suffering from ? GERD - seeing a gastroenteroligist tmrrw. i'm sure i'll be posting on that. And just getting over the longest cold (upper respitory infection) on record or i have allergies.

Games: Pool,Bid whist, Scrabble, backgammon.

Oh and the rulebreaker isn't tagging 8 people as is stated in the rules but just asking any & all takers to leave a link in comments if you decide to join in.

Mother's Day

Minus: Food shopping
card shopping
last minute flower shopping
no card or call from stepdaughter
yet another school project - when is school out?
words with son/don't use that tone of voice on me

Plus: Went out for breakfast - didn't have to cook or clean up
Didn't break a sweat - didn't do too much
Walked the dog
Didn't have to cook dinner/yummy key lime pie for dessert
nice card & present from son
kiss goodnite from son

Joke Friday

(not my sentiments but very funny)

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.

Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl
in the world."

Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."

Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the most disgusting person in the world."

So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to
have their claims verified.

Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy.
"It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."

Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am now officially the
smallest person in the world."

Sometime later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and
says."Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell ?

Joke Friday

Joke of the Day - A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how is manifests itself:

I decide to wash my car. As I start toward to the garage, I notice
that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the
mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash
can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the
trash first, but then I think that since I’m going to be near the
mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table and see that there is only one check
left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, o I go to my
desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. I’m going
to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I
don’t accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the
refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the
counter catches my eye–they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter and I discover my reading
glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I’d better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to
water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water,
and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight, when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for
the remote, but nobody will remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so
I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll
water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up
the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day; the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren’t
watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook,

I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember
what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really
baffled because I know I was busy all day long and I’m really tired. I
realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it,
but first I’ll check my e-mail.

We didn't start the fire...



This is really good, check it out.

ten weird things/habits about yourself

(ah these drafts do come in handy. Anne (Dakato Blue Eyes) over at What's on my mind tagged me for this meme and i just discovered that it was a saved draft from Aug '06 when some other nice person must've tagged me.)

1) I have what I've heard called a Transition problem or in plain English, i can't get out of my own way. I invariable have to come back in the house at least once for something I've forgotten. Forget it when I have to pack for a trip.( I have dreams about forgetting things - usually my hair products and make up).
2) I hate dinner time unless we are eating out. I wait to the last minute to even think about it then just go into panic mode and usually order take out.
3) I clean house ADD style, jumping from room to room, floor to floor - it never looks like i did anything.
4) I hate to fly. I used to just have copious cocktails at the Airport bar, but then they kinda frown at children sitting at the bar.
5) I hate to food shop. I rarely have a list or even look to see what we need. I just kind of wing it and when I can't stand being in the store anymore I just leave. Hence I shop several times a week- and hence the take out.
6)I love to dream (cept for the nightmares), just hate to sleep.
7) world class procrastinator and time waster.
8) I like dancing around the house. (old dancing queens die hard)
9) I never finish projects. (just start a new one)
10) Prince charming grown up blues: even tho i know he doesn't exist, I'm still hoping he'll come take me away from all this. (yes probably the weirdest of them all since i'm married).

Tagging any & all takers, just leave a link in comments.

Joke Friday

Butch the rooster,

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets" and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the Boone County Fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...

The judges not only awarded Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. Clearly Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

American Idol

I stopped watching the show this year, was bored/sick of it, no one appealed to me, seemed talented, was growing tired of the judges - always the same. Then the other night my 13 yr. old who had also stopped watching it had it on, told me Bono was going to be on ( our favorite). And there was Ben Stiller being Ben Stiller ( very funny) and Ellen and House(love him!) and countless other celebs. But then the piece de la resistance- the African Childrens Choir ( what happy smiling faces and beautiful voices). The film clips of the orphans and sick mothers was extremely moving. My son was moved as well, he said to me, maybe I should donate my 200 dollars ( the money he has saved for a Kayak); but i told him that i would go to the website and donate with my credit card. The next morning he asked me if I had. I did but still feel like we should do more. If you can Please go here and help save children in poverty in the US(Katrina flood victims) and Africa(orphans/some with HIV or Malaria.)
Thank you.

New York state of mind



Hero

(similar but different - more about the holocaust survivor that gave his life. I decided to post this because of when looking up some of the site meter info I came upon this hateful/horrid/antisemtic site with multiply comments that left me with a very bad feeling.The last article of the three makes some interesting points about the VT massacre, violence and evil.)

BY CRUEL FATE, A SURVIVOR DIES A HERO

Gabrielle Birkner
New York Sun, April 18, 2007

In a cruel twist of fate, an engineering lecturer who survived the Holocaust and fled communist Romania was shot dead Monday morning during the massacre that killed 32 at Virginia Tech.

Witnesses have said Liviu Librescu, 76, died trying to keep the gunman out of his second-floor classroom and that his efforts may have saved the lives of some of his students, whom he encouraged to escape through the windows. "He certainly showed his true character trying to protect the kids," an engineering professor at Virginia Tech, Joseph Schetz, told The New York Sun. "I'm not surprised by what he did. He was a people person." A makeshift shrine with flowers and a photograph of Librescu was set up on the Blacksburg, Va., campus yesterday.

Librescu was one of two Virginia Tech faculty members who were killed when a 23-year-old student from South Korea, Cho Seung-Hui, went on a shooting rampage in a dormitory, West Ambler Johnston Hall, and in classrooms at Norris Hall. The head of the engineering science and mechanics department, Ishwar Puri, said of Librescu: "He was an exceptionally tolerant man who mentored scholars from all over our troubled world."

Librescu survived the Holocaust in a labor camp in Transnistria and in a Jewish ghetto in Focsani, Romania. After World War II, he studied in Romania, earning degrees in aeronautical engineering and a doctorate in fluid mechanics. He worked for the state aerospace agency but faced roadblocks in Romania because he refused to pledge allegiance to the communist regime of Nicolae Ceausescu.

After Prime Minister Begin of Israel intervened on behalf of Jews living in Romania, Librescu and his family were allowed to immigrate to Israel in 1978. There he worked at Israeli universities before taking what was to be a sabbatical year at Virginia Tech more than 20 years ago. He instead decided to put down roots.

An engineering professor at Virginia Tech who had known Librescu for about two decades, Rakesh Kapania, said his colleague "was not known to speak about his past." In an interview, Mr. Kapania said Librescu was a "good teacher" and a "kind-hearted person" who would be missed by his colleagues and students. A longtime lecturer at the university, Librescu was teaching a class this semester in solid mechanics. He was a frequent contributor to academic journals and was to deliver the keynote lecture at a scientific conference in Taipei, Taiwan, in June.

"I know he did very good research," an engineering professor at Virginia Tech, Mayuresh Patil, said. "You can look at his list of publications. He was very prolific." Mr. Patil, 33, said Librecu was well-liked by his younger colleagues because he was supportive of their research but never patronizing. "He was a well-known, well-respected guy," Mr. Patil, who first met Librescu about 10 years ago, said.

Librescu is survived by his wife, Marlena Librescu, and two sons, Arieh Librescu and Joseph Librescu. "I lost my best friend," Mrs. Librescu said yesterday. "He was a great person who loved teaching more than anything." Librescu will be buried in Israel.


PROFESSOR’S VIOLENT DEATH CAME WHERE HE SOUGHT PEACE

Colin Moynihan
New York Times, April 19, 2007

Prof. Liviu Librescu faced many trials in his 76 years, growing up and living in Romania. There were the Nazis, who imprisoned his family when he was a child. Then there was the totalitarian regime of Nicolae Ceausescu, which forbade him from working when he refused to join the Communist Party.

But it was a trial in a most unlikely place that proved to be deadly. On Monday, Professor Librescu faced danger when a student armed with pistols and the determination to kill approached the room where the professor was teaching a class in solid mechanics.

Professor Librescu never moved from the door of Room 204 in Norris Hall at Virginia Tech, witnesses said, even as the gunman, Cho Seung-Hui, was shooting. Directing his students to escape through windows, Professor Librescu was fatally shot.

Yesterday, a funeral was held for the professor in the Borough Park section of Brooklyn. Professor Librescu’s body was taken there by Chesed Shel Emes, a Jewish organization that specializes in helping people in times of trauma, said Rabbi Edgar Gluck, a member of the group, who said that the professor had been struck by five bullets. The professor’s body was to be flown to Israel last night and he will be buried before sundown today in Raanana, near Tel Aviv, Rabbi Gluck said.

About 300 people showed up at the Shomrei Hachomos, an Orthodox chapel. They arrived to recognize a remarkable, resilient life and an act of courage that ended that life. “This was a man who gave his ultimate for his fellow man,” Assemblyman Dov Hikind of Brooklyn told the mourners. “He gave his life for his students.”

In Blacksburg, Va., one of those students, Caroline Merrey, 22, described some of the chaos that unfolded inside Room 204. “We had heard the gunfire coming from the classroom behind us, and we just reacted to it and headed for the windows,” Ms. Merrey said. “Professor Librescu never made an attempt to leave.” Ms. Merrey said she and about 20 other students scrambled through the windows as Professor Librescu shouted for them to hurry. She said she felt sure his actions helped save lives.

“He’s a part of my life now and forever,” she said. “I’m changed. I’m not the person I was before Monday.”

Speaking to a reporter by telephone from Israel, Professor Librescu’s son, Yossi Librescu, 40, a computer engineer, said he took some solace in the appreciation being expressed for his father. “He was passionate about life,” Mr. Librescu said. “He had no fear of death.”

He said that his father was born in Romania in 1930. After surviving the Holocaust, Mr. Librescu said, his father became a refusenik in Romania and lost his job as an aerospace engineer. But in 1976, Liviu Librescu secretly published a book in Norway that advanced a theory of aerospace technology that grabbed the attention of others in the field. In 1978, after lobbying by groups in Israel, he was permitted to leave Romania and settle there. He began teaching at Virginia Tech in 1985, university officials said.

Mr. Librescu said that the bucolic environs of Blacksburg provided a respite from the rigors of his father’s earlier life. His house was built on the edge of a forest and he took long walks daily, enjoying nature. He listened to classical music and settled into the calm, productive rhythms of his new existence. “He found Virginia to be a place that allowed him to be inspired,” Mr. Librescu said.

Professor Librescu’s coffin, draped in black cloth, was wheeled into the chapel just after 2 p.m. Mr. Hikind spoke briefly and another man sang a sad lament in Hebrew. At 2:18, several men lifted the coffin to their shoulders and carried it outside.

The professor’s wife, Marlena, stood outside and spoke about her husband. “His life was only his family and his students,” Ms. Librescu said. “Everybody told me he was like a father.”

Down the block, men dressed in black marched toward New Utrecht Avenue, carrying the coffin. As the N train screeched overhead, the words of the Kaddish were recited.

“He was always, always helping,” Ms. Librescu said. “But he was not able to help himself.”


NO POLICY CAN OUTWIT THE GRIM REAPER

David Frum
Daily Telegraph, April 18, 2007

A quiet spring day on a rural campus—then suddenly shots, shouting, chaos, death. Our minds cannot absorb such fathomless violence. We need to impose order on it, find explanations. And so, within minutes of the mass murder at Virginia Tech University, a great conversation erupted as Americans—and the rest of the world—tried to make sense of the senseless.

It was a classic American crime: an angry loner, enraged by the failure of a love affair, turns his anger on the world around him. Think of John Muhammad, the Washington sniper of 2001; John Hinckley, the would-be assassin of Ronald Reagan; Charles Whitman, the clocktower killer at the University of Texas, whose 1966 rampage was until this week the deadliest campus crime in US history.

Such stories are too random and terrifying for the mind to absorb. So, instead, we attempt to squeeze these crimes into our pre-existing categories and use them to advance our ideological agendas and thereby apportion blame. In the hours since Monday's attacks, three such categories have been presented to the American public.

The one probably most familiar to British audiences attributes killings such as those at Virginia Tech to the easy availability of firearms in the US. There is some truth in this. The murderer, Cho Seung-Hui, appears to have legally purchased a Glock 9mm automatic pistol shortly before the attack. Had it been more difficult to buy such a weapon, perhaps his crime could have been prevented—or at least rendered less lethal.

There is also an element of plausibility to the second explanation—the feminist one. Even in countries where guns are difficult to obtain, male sexual jealousy does daily, deadly damage. The British Home Office contends that domestic violence kills more young women worldwide than war, cancer and motor vehicle accidents.

Then there's the third and final explanation—immigration. Seung-Hui was a Korean-born resident alien. Aliens increasingly drive the US crime problem: about one third of California's prison population is first- or second-generation immigrant, as is 29 per cent of the federal prison population. Salvadoran and other Central American gangs commit the worst violence in many American cities. The finger of blame is easily pointed.

So which shall we blame? Guns? The male psyche? Immigration? None of the above? Or some of all of the above?…

[But] why are we blaming anything or anyone for this crime other than the criminal himself?

Crime can be reduced. Since 1990, the number of homicides in the US has been cut from almost 25,000 a year to about 15,000. Schools have launched programmes to predict potentially violent students. Some require transparent backpacks, and others have instituted sophisticated psychological profiling. All will pounce on any student joke about copy-catting Columbine. Meanwhile, many local police departments have attempted to modernise their tactics.

America will try to learn lessons from this latest tragedy too. But there is no escaping the hardest lesson: that death lies waiting around the corner for us all. No public policy can rescue us from that grim human fact—or the equally fearful obligation to walk with courage under the burden of the reality of evil.

Not a joke friday

READ THIS. LET IT REALLY SINK IN. THEN CHOOSE.

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!

You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood."

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

He continued, "..the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine.But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

The Big Apple



Just Awful

(Someone sent this to me in an email. My heart goes out to the families of those killed and hurt.)

Holocaust survivor killed in Virginia massacre

One of victims in Virginia Tech shooting rampage Monday is Prof Liviu Librescu, senior researcher at university. Librescu was killed after he stayed behind his class to block door and protect students. Massacre claimed lives of 32 people. Prof Librescu and his wife are both Holocaust survivors who immigrated to Israel from Romania in 1978.

WASHINGTON – Prof Liviu Librescu, a senior researcher and lecturer at Virginia Tech, is among the 32 people who were killed during a shooting rampage at the university Monday.

His wife, Marlina, and two sons, Arieh and Joe, have already begun making arrangements for his burial in Israel.

One of Prof Librescu's students, Alec Calhoun, who was with him at the classroom when the shooting started, told AP that at about 9:05 am, he and classmates heard "a thunderous sound from the classroom next door, what sounded like an enormous hammer."

When students realized the sounds were gunshots, Calhoun said, they started flipping over desks for hiding places. Others dashed to the windows of the second-floor classroom, kicking out the screens and jumping from the ledge of the room.

Calhoun said that just before he climbed out the window, he turned to look at the professor (Librescu), who had stayed behind to block the door.

Librescu's wife drove him to work on Monday, and he was killed about an hour later. His daughter-in-law Ayala, who is married to his son, Joe, told Ynet: "I heard he blocked the door of the classroom he was teaching… he must have realized that the murderer was approaching. He saved his students and was killed by gunshots."

"He has been teaching there for 20 years, and was a senior, world-renowned lecturer. He is the professor with the highest number of publications in the history of Virginia Tech. In the past, he taught at Tel Aviv University and the Technion," she added.

Ayala said that her father-in-law was passionate about his research and a dedicated family man.

A true gentleman

Prof Librescu and his wife are both Holocaust survivors who immigrated to Israel from Romania in 1978.

Librescu was an accomplished scientist in Romania, and the Communist regime had tried to prevent him from making aliyah to Israel. He was allowed to leave the country only after the Israeli prime minister at the time Menachem Begin appealed the matter to President Nicolae Ceausescu.

Several years later, Librescu left for a sabbatical in the United States and has remained there since. His first son, Arieh, lives in Israel, while his other son, Joe, resides in the US. "I understand from friends that my father was a hero," the son Joe told Ynet. "In fact, by blocking the door with his body he saved all the students who were in the classroom."

Joe said that his parents were very happy in the United States, where they have been living since 1984. "He and my mom led a simple life, at a pastoral place in West Virginia, between hills and mountains, and he loved the school in which he taught."

"He is scientist who did not work for money, but for the pleasure he got from his occupation," he added.

Mariah

I woke,like i usually do, in the middle of the night. Sometimes it's because I'm hot and have to throw the blankets off (curses to menopause), other times to go to the bathroom (curses to my aging bladder),or i've woken because of my new ailments: pain in my arm or discomfort of my ? reflux problem ( damn stress and infirmity) and other times its my damn mind - i just start thinking.
Tonite it was all of the above. I woke up, threw off the down comforter, went to the bathroom, went to lie back down and felt the annoying feeling in my throat and started thinking.
I noticed the light on the clock next to my bed was flashing and from the hallway I noticed a light on downstairs and wondered what light had been left on. I thought it was a light in the living room but when i went down there i saw that the light was coming from the sunroom, which was odd because the french doors were closed and we don't really use that room in the winter. My son & I had been out at the Yom Ha-Shoah ceremony and come up here to the den after eating our subs at the kitchen island. When my husband came home from work, he also came up here to the smallest room in the house and the one most used. I opened the doors and shut it off and proceeded to the kitchen to let the dog out who now thought it was time to get up and get fed. I reset the flashing clocks on the stove and microwave and went back up after feeding puppy of course. Then I got back in bed and realized the futility of my actually sleeping, so i came in the den to write down some of the ideas flashing through my head.
This post was supposed to be about the hour i spent lying in bed, before i got up, listening to the wind.

YOM HA-SHOAH

HOLOCAUST MEMORIAL DAY


ZACHOR
"Remember"

Joke Saturday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg%20

I was hoping for a hyperlink at least. :(

No Joke

I wanted to post this great UTube video; but it seems that I can't get it to work with the new Google Blogger. anyone out there know what I'm doing wrong? it used to be so simple.

NY NY




I Love New York



Yes, I did choose this title to attract hits. It could've been "On the road again", which my sweet son was singing as we pulled out of the driveway. I was still in my post packing tizzy and already worrying about what I'd forgotten that I had to ask him what he just sang. I asked him,"where have you heard that song? do you know who it's by?" and he said no, he's just heard me singing it. who knew cornyness is an inherited trait?

We took off an hour late because of my packing phobia. I put it off til the last minute. Then I couldn't even find the overnight/wkend nylon bags that i like to use for short trips and frantically searched the attic twice and ripped apart the guest/den closet ( and left everything in it's tornado like state, i might add). I found them after we had devised alternates of course! They were buried under some stuff , which i found when i went looking for a lost pocketbook.
which brings me to another reason why i am so lame at packing, it's because, i don't get much practice, i hardly go anywhere. And when i'm home, i usually wear uniforms to work and then my uniform here - jeans and whatever to clean, paint, garden, hang around the house. It is really hard to come up with "outfits" when you don't really have any. when you buy things because they are on sale and you need new jeans, or pants or buy a random top cause you like it. Go try and figure out what to pack from the odd assortment. And then there are all the products to bring and hair clips to manage the unruly hair and what about accessories?
Anyway I really needed to get away and we had a great time in NY and NJ. I won't promise to tell you more later because we all know I never finish anything. But I will post some pics. Tomorrow, I promise, really.
Oh yeah and Happy Birthday Annie Lamott!!

Joke Friday

(Wow, where did that week go? getting really behind on my posts here. Well, here's a short but cute one for you.)

A husband and wife are in bed together. She feels his hand against her shoulder. “Oh honey, that feels good” she says.

His hand moves to her back. “Gee, honey that feels wonderful.” She says.

His hand moves to her leg. “Oh, honey, don’t stop.” She begs.

But he stops…………………

“Why did you stop?” she cries???



“ I found the remote…”

Joke Friday

(A Jersey joke in honor of my visiting my homestate this weekend. Have a great weekend!)

White House Fence
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House inD.C.
One from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida. They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

A Jersey joke in honor of my visit to my home state this weekend.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some Measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100.profit for me."

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

Blues Meme

R. Laban

my dark blue eyes
my father's light blue eyes
my sons smiling blue eyes
the beloved sea breaking on the beach
clear blue skies up above
my blue & white dishes
my favorite jeans
my old jean jacket
navy blue pea coat
blueberries with light cream and sugar
some of my favorite music and musicians
billie holiday, john lee hooker, bb king
purple blue iris' growing in my back yard
blue green plants in the front yard
soothing blue green walls in my kitchen.

I didn't know what the date was all day til now- when i realized that tomorrow is my father's birthday - he died 2 yrs ago. He was in the back of my mind all day, i just didn't know why.

Joke Friday

Catholic education with a #2 pencil


Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School .Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. "Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"

When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend, sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.

The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"

But Mary didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.

"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, "Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back a sleep.

The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

Again, Johnny came to the rescue.

This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"


The nun fainted...........

restaurant characters


( found just a few sentences in a saved draft from 4/06 - had fun morphing it out. will have to revisit this with some classic customers, co-workers and more bosses.)

First there are the owners/managers/higher ups:

At my first waitressing job in Vt. I learned how to make drinks because there was never a bartender on at lunchtime and the owner told me to just come find her but she was always outside doing something with the plants. Instead I would just get the red Mr. Boston bartending guide out and make them myself. My first Manhattan i shook instead of stirred.

At this other place up in Vt. there was a really mean chef who would just let you grab a hot plate and not say a word. I really hated him.

Eddie -chef at a big hotel with singing waiter & waitresses (not me)- he had a German accent, I can't believe i can remember his name - i guess he left quite an immpression on me. He was large (fat) with dark hair and a mustache and called me "The black widow". He was mean. My Irish friend, Angela, got me this job. Never knew whether to thank her or cuss her.

Chef/owner at seafood shanty on Martha's Vineyard was always yelling at us for eating food off the dirty plates! give me a break!! if we've lowered ourselves to eat people's leftovers just leave us the hell alone.

Then there was Bobby, the owner of the bar in Northampton, MA. who lived upstairs and would come down at closing time and yell: Hotel/motel time - don't wake up with a lizard and "You don't have to go home but you can't stay here." - those words are forever etched in my mind.

Rodrigo y Gabriela

My new favorite song. Having problems posting from U tube on the new blogger.

Happy St. Patricks Day!!

(R rated)

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money
between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of 50 pence.

Murphy said, "Hang on, I have an idea."

He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large
sausage.Shamus said, "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at
all."

Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me."

He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and
two glasses of Jameson whisky.

Shamus said, "Now you've lost it.

Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!"
Murphy replied with a smile, "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!"They
downed their drinks.

Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on
your knees and put it in your mouth."
The barman noticed them, went berserk and threw them out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk all for
free.

At the tenth pub, Shamus said, "Murphy, I don't think I can do any more of
this. Me knees are killin' me!"
Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub."

St. Patricks Day Joke Friday

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."


Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do, Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to Heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."


Paddy was in New York
He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians." Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"


Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"


An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"


Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.
"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."


Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his Way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt
And Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.


Happy St. Patrick's Day !!!!

slip sliding away


It seems that I have a case of blogger's block. I've started a few, I have a plethora of saved drafts, I have the Bar Mitzvah to chronicle, but all i've been able to muster is Joke Friday, maybe out of a sense of duty. I even thought maybe i should change the name of the blog to Joke Friday. So when the going gets tough the tough get going, so i was even thinking that maybe i should announce a break; oh no, not again, idle threats. But that usually does work to get me going again. But this time the answer presented itself when i was cleaning out my file drawer in my desk, throwing out old insurance papers from years and plans past. There they were my old poems from when I don't want to tell you when; let's just say they were on onion paper and if you don't know what that is, i'm not telling you. so that's just what i did, i typed in some more of my old poems from the previous century.

Joke Friday

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it slices into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge lump on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him.
"Goodness," says the golfer. then proceeds to revive the poor little guy. Upon awakening, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun, and I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and walks away. Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks to himself "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money (so he'll never have to go without a pint of ale), a great golf game, and a great sex life."
A few weeks later the Irishman is out golfing again. As he's walking to the 16th green, he hears a voice calling him from the woods.
He walks over, and sees the leprechaun again. He asks how his head is feeling. The leprechaun says, "Oh, I'm fine. And might I ask how your golf game is?"
The golfer says, "It's funny you should ask, but it's been amazing. It seems I can't miss anymore!" "I did that for you," responds the leprechaun, "And might I ask how your money is holding out?" "Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a twenty dollar bill" he replied. The leprechaun smiles and says, "I did that for you,too. And might I ask how your love life is?" Now the golfer looks around, as if to be sure that no one else can hear, and says in a low voice, "Well, it's been okay."
"Just okay?" the leprechaun asks. "How often do you have sex?" "Oh, maybe once or twice a week." Floored, the leprechaun stammers, "Only once or twice a week?" The golfer replies, "Well, that's really quite a lot for a Catholic priest in a small parish

Joke Monday

Amid all the party preparation on Friday, Joke Friday somehow wound up on my New Poems site. I'm not surprised, as my mother used to say, it's lucky your head is attached.

http://www.cafeoflifepikespeak.com/Videos/Licensed%20To%20Pill.swf

Nightmares


Aren't nightmares the worst. Had possible the worst that I've ever had last nite. I woke around 4 AM and couldn't sleep and came into the den and went on the computer and checked email for a minute, then lay on the futon to read but my eye was doing this weird thing, probably a ophthalmic migraine but it was right in the center instead of in the periphery where i've had them before, so since it was interfering with reading, i closed my eyes for awhile, then turned off the lights to go to sleep. Before long i was in the middle of a terrifying nightmare, I was dreaming that i was having a stroke or something and I was trying to wake myself up but i couldnt'. It was terrifying. when i finally did and was able to move i got up but then realized that i was still dreaming. there was no one in my house. This happend over and over. I tried calling my husband but he wasn't there and neither was my son. Then other people would pop in, no one that i knew, especially since they had very distorted/disturbing faces.
I was really relieved when i finally woke up.

A picture a day...

R. Laban

This is such a great idea, i love it. It's inspiring me to try it. Wish I had seen it before the start of the new year so I could've started on 1/1/07. Being the procrastinator that i am i think i will start right after the Bar Mitzvah Sat. or that day since i will have some pics of the pahty. hell, why not start rite now, tho i would like to figure out how to do it on flicker- rite after the big event maybe. Hell, why not start rite now. That picture on yesterdays post is day one.
But i guess technically that is cheating as that is an old picture. The one above i took about a year ago in Fla. - wish i was there now. ok tmrrw. is another day. Since i can't quit my day job this chick is headin to bed. ciao.

Bar Mitzvah Central

R. Laban


Really, I've been wanting to post, but it seems all I do is run around, mostly in circles. The boy, turned 13 last week and next week is his Bar Mitzvah. It seems much more work than my wedding was. Both about the same size - 38 people. But for my wedding all i remember doing was choosing the dress, the menu and the piano player.
This has involved umpteem trips to walmart and the party store and I still have upteem things to do. Not to mention working on the program, centerpieces, prizes, playlists (no DJ) - well son is working on that mostly. Next week will not be fun but hopefully it will all go smoothly next Sat.

Joke Friday

Subject: How to avoid the flu

First eat right!

Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies.

Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.

Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build our immune system.

Walk for at least an hour a day,

Go for a swim,

Take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.

Wash your hands often.
If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.

Get lots of fresh air. Open doors and windows whenever possible.

Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.

Get plenty of rest.

OR

Take the doctor's approach.

Think about it...

When you go for a shot, what do they do first?
They Clean your arm with alcohol...
Why?
Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.

So.......

I walk to the liquor store. (exercise)
I put lime in my Corona...(fruit)
Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the bar patio..(fresh air)
Tell jokes, laugh....(eliminate stress)
Then pass out. (rest)

Now this is the way I see it...

If you keep your alcohol levels up,
Flu germs Can't get you!

My grandmother always said,

"A shot in the glass
Is better than one in the ass!"

Island


Write about an island.

We arrived late in the afternoon,when the plane started it's descent all you could see were trees. The ride from the airport to the hotel didn't reveal much either. By the time we checked in and walked into town to get something to eat it was dark. We had a drink in a touristy bar and met some locals - islanders - from islands all over the caribbean. They insisted on buying us dinner when they heard that we had come there to live and find jobs. We had fish and dumplings that were delicious, especially considering that they came off of a truck,one of those stainless steel lunch trucks. Later we went back to our postage size room and slept. In the morning we walked the less than a mile walk into town and were stunned when we reached the harbor. The color of the water was aqua blue - turqoise, nothing like the murky steel grey we were used to at home.

Leave yr. island comment or link.

Everything blog

Can't stop bloggin:
ok is this just another addictive behaviour or a real need?

Can't stop writing
It this all just drivel? Why do I feel compelled to write?

Blog obsessed:
just can't stop blogging and to think i used to say i was giving it up. I need a purpose tho. make people laugh/think,amuse/entertain.

One more blog:
Oay what am I, a blogaholic? Hi my name is RDL, I'm a blogaholic. Just one more blog. Looking for that perfect blog.

Blog culture:
The blog people, like the village people- when was that? the 70's? can't even remember their music really. So who are the blog people?

Short attention span theatre??
So what about those blogs then. Are we just scanning as I read about in an article?

So many blogs, so little time (can see a t-shirt of that.) ok i guess i should stop drafting and just post. but what do I do with all those drafts? methodically go thru them and delete or post. I have 40(make that 74) saved drafts, granted most of them are just ideas, some evem just titles. how many do you have?

Dreamt that i was at a bloggers convention- meeting some of you, maybe that's where i really wish i was.

Reality blogging:
So I wonder when we will see reality blogging(blogging in your bathrobe- not gonna catch me with one of those webcams). Like a day in and day out Ozzie Osborne style. That would be pretty frightening in my house.

Bah humbug



As usual a day late and a dollar short, I started this on Valentines Day but never finished it - what a surprise.

Ok I admit, I'm not that sentimental (tho I do have the hair from my son's first haircut) and I have saved some special cards and art work and school papers (lest you think me a cold hearted hannah.) So hold the card just hand over the chocolate, and no one gets hurt.

First, am I supposed to be touched that you stood in front of a rack of cards with a bunch of other people trying to find something written by another person to express your sentiments? and secondly - you just don't know how I hate standing in front of those racks with all those other people, reading card after card, none of which fit my sentiments. Ok Dr. Phil I will admit that maybe the problem does not lie herein(the card rack) but within me. Yes I admit it, take me away, throw me in the dungeon and throw away the key. I can't bear looking at valentines when none of the sentiments express what I'm feeling - which by the way as i've hinted is not sentimental, not good, because my suppossed marraige is a mess. What to do, what to do? go to counseling? separately/together and hope we like the counselor, that we click, that he or she can fix what is broke? or as i remember hearing Howard Stern(the talk show host not Anna Nicole's boyfriend/husband)explain that going to a marraige counselor was the worst thing he ever did, like pouring salt on a wound. Here you go and tell/say everything you've always been afraid to and then there it's out in the open and you can't take it back. well that was the gist of it anyway and i can totally relate because a year & 1/2 ago I did finally blurt something out to my husband, sitting in the car in a parking lot outside a lawyers office (to fix a problem between himself and the mother of his daughter (who was now living at out house because she walked out of her mother's house because she hated her stepfather - but that's another story.) The "D" word came out and let's just say he was in agreement with me. We then had to go into the lawyers office to settle the problem we were there for.

The next day we sat down with paper & pencil and actually tried to figure out if we could afford to separate, which was of course ridiculous as we can't even make ends meet together. We agreed to stay together til after the holidays and the kids were settled in school and the other situation was resolved. A year & 1/2 later, step-daugher is at College, another X-mas has come and gone and we are still no closer to a resolution. That is my sad little Valentines Day story.

Joke Friday

NEW BAR STOOLS

Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, &

Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in New

York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and humid

in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they

decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.

Patty had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were the talk

of the fashionable eastside neighborhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and

were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered

the bar through the front door.

They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted
at what they saw.





Give us a sense of humor, Lord,
Give us the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.

lunchtime


Lunchtime memory from when you were little:

In Grammar school(that's what we called Grade school - grade K-8) I went home at lunchtime. Sometimes my mother would get creative and the plate would have celery and olives that made a smiley face. I remember tuna fish sandwiches on white bread, cut on the diagonal and a steamy bowl of cream of tomato soup with Ritz crackers on the side to crumble in. On the way back to school I would stop in the corner candy store for some penny candy. Sometimes if i had a nickel, i would wait til after school to stop in and get a milky way or three musketeers. Once in awhile I would get a skybar - eating the favs first or sometimes saving the best for last. I liked the vanilla best,then carmel,chocolate, peanut last. Then there were those multi-colored buttons on the paper and the red wax lips. I don't remember what was the appeal of those buttons on the paper as I was never adept enough to eat them without also eating the paper as well. As usual it's all about the dessert.



Feel free to leave yours here or a link to your post.

Joke Friday

This did look like a truck in the email that i received it in; what can i say, I was hit last nite but luckily I was in the safety of my own home, in my kitchen, surrounded by woman friends at my Liar's Party for Patry Francis . When my brain decides to start working again i might just tell you about it.

You've been hit by the ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ...WINE TRUCK.........
'";,___._..._..._______====___..., ] ->> >>> > > "(@)'(@)"""''"**(@)(@)*****''(@)>>

1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is
2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our buttwhile yelling "woo-hoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it too.
4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago
5. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much.
6. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song play's because "oh my god! I love this song!"
7. We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.
8. We've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
9. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade, but that's just because we can no longer taste the gin
10. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop?)
11. We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when we sit on it
12. We take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault that we're having problems walking straight.

Existentialism

definition from The American Heritage Dictionary:

n. A philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts.

From The World Book Encyclopedia 1989

philosophical movement that developed in continental Europe during the 1800's and 1900's. The movement is called existentialism because most of its members are primarily interested in the nature of existence or being, by which they usually mean human existence. Although the philosophers generally considered to be existentialists often disagree with each other and sometimes even resent being classified together, they have been grouped together because they share many problems, interests, and ideas.
Existentialism grew out of the work of two thinkers of the 1800's: Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher and protestant theologian, who is generally considered the founder of the movement and Nietzsche, a German philosopher. The most prominent existentialist thinkers of the 1900's include the French writers Albert Camus, Jean-Paul Sartre, and Gabriel Marcel; the German philosophers Karl Jasper's and Martin Heidegger; the Russian religious and political thinker Nicolas Berdyaev; and the Jewish philosopher Martin Buber.

Existentialism is largely a revolt against traditional European philosophy, which reached its climax in the impressive systems of Kant and Hegel. Traditional philosophers tended to consider philosophy as a science. They tried to produce principles of knowledge that would be objective, universal, and certain.
The existentialists reject the methods and ideals of science as being inappropriate for philosophy. They argue that objective, universal and certain knowledge is an unattainable ideal. Moreover, they believe this ideal has blinded philosophers to the basic features of human existence. The existentialists do not make the traditional attempt to grasp the ultimate nature of the world in abstract systems of thought. Instead, they investigate what it is like to be an individual human being living in the world.

One of my favorite courses in college; some of my favorites: The Plague by Camus and Siddhartha & Demian by Hesse. oh yea, and Metamorphosis by Kafka.

soulmate


Ok I thought maybe this was something only woman believed in, after all some of us spent half our life waiting for their prince to come, for that knight to pull up on that damn white horse and whisk us away, all the while reading Ms. magazine and shaking our boodies to Disco Inferno. Most of the married couples that i know or see are not "happily married" so does that mean your soul mate is actually someone else, and if so, who? Your childhood playmate, high school sweetheart, the guy down the street, next door, an unfaced blogger? or is the cruel reality -that they just don't exist, that only a lucky few ever find/keep this elusive thing called love. Ok I admit I'm jaded, suffer frequently from depression and am not in a happy marriage. So when you're done telling me what age you are, you can tell me all about your love life.

Act your age

Ok some of us are bored/ not watching the Superbowl. I warned you about these old drafts - this one is from 4/06. Please comment on yr. inner age.


How old would you be if we didn't know your real age?
I think I am basically stuck in adolescence; somewhere between 16 and 21(definitely not a day over 30). The quintessinal peter pan - I won't grow up... don't wanna go to school. Just sittin here still waiting for my ship to come in(the world is my oyster) or that knight in shining armour to show up. I guess i read too many of those damn fairy tales, that's for sure. Good thing I didn't have a daughter I probably would have forbade her to read Cinderella. How bout you?? How old are you really??

Opening night!!!!


Congratulations Patry!!!!!
The Liar's Diary came out yesterday, Feb. 1,2007. You can read about it here. This is a must read. Just go buy it!!

Joke Friday

Subject: Water vs Wine

Water vs. Wine It has been scientifically proven that if
we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we will have
absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherich ia col i bacteria found in feces. In
other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop! However, we do not run that
risk when drinking WINE (or rum, whiskey,vodka, beer or other liquors)
because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling,
filtering and fermenting and also alcohol kills the Escherichia coli
bacteria.
WATER = Poop
WINE = HEALTH
It is better to drink wine and talk shit than to drink water and be
full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information; I am doing
it as a public service.

Brainstorming or here we go again..


This is my oldest draft dated 1/22/06 but i orinally wrote it back on 10/23/05.(desparate times call for desparate measures - in liew of any new ideas, i've decided to systematically or maybe not so systematicaly go thru my draft collection - all 81 of them!) I've thought about this name change on & off. Going to keep this at the top, and add new posts below, for a little while and see what comes up.

When I started this blog my bio included some about my past career paths and about never deciding what I wanted to be...(hence)when I grow up. Well if I am to continue in the blogosphere, i have decided that it needs a new name, since it is obvious i am never going to grow up, too late for that now. So in the spirit of moving on I am asking for help from any of you who care to cast a vote. Since I am also the queen of indecision I will take whatever help I can get. But maybe the name is premature, as I think I need to decide what direction this blog is taking; ie: random postings, whatever is on my mind at the moment(ie: ranting and ravings),life with luke(my wonderful boy),jokes, poetry,journaling, inspirations, musings,work stories - med/tech woes or bartender blues) all of the above.
Feel free to jump in here if the spirit moves you, hey I like that.
Xdenotes a previous vote.

Update: Just Write was removed from the original list as it was already claimed by my wonderful blog friend and writing coach, Edie. It seems she has since vacated this spot, but still it just wouldn't seem right.

Word lover
When the spirit moves you X
Jersey girl
Spaghetti and meatballs (?? don't know where that came from but it's evidently popular)XXX
Indecision Incarnate
When I grow up X( one vote to keep it) and another-X

Please feel free to add any or vote on those listed,still in the brainstorming stage here ( i know it's only been a year!)

Footnote : Also a major reason that I want to change this it that frequently on google searchs for "When I grow up" or "when I grown up poems", etc and tadah here I am and I don't think I'm what they had in mind for their little ones; specially not on Joke Friday. Now that would be the easy way out, just change it to Joke Friday.

Joke Friday

Husband Store ~

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the
entrance:

"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of
the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a
particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT
go back down except to exit the building."

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign
reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money and like sports.
The 3rd - 6th floors have never been visited.

Okay maybe I am slackin...


(note: i have no idea what it says under this picture - i just like the picture)

The project's been handed in (we only got an A-!! what the heck did the A & A+ people do - build skyscrapers?) And it seems that my blog has lost that 'joie de vivre' or more accurately - i have. It's cold,it's dark,and i'm achy. (I'll have another wine please?) What I really need is a plane ticket to someplace warm. No hiatus planned this year and frankly it's got me grumpy. If I didn't have the damn arm problems, I wouldn't have the damn medical bills to pay and I would be buying tickets and making reservations to someplace warm with palm trees and pina coladas or strawberry daiquiris or both- one for each hand(therapy).

Ok get over it. The good news is I don't have arthritis, just chronic tendonitis, itjjust better be gone by Spring is all i can say. I want to garden (remember I was the winner of the tomato contest last year!) and I want to pitch to my boy - even if he does have to duck them most of the time.

Slacker

Really I haven't been slackin - I've been really busy!! Getting out the invites (late) to my son's Bar Mitzvah, getting out invites to my best friends book party,and working on son's school project.






Joke Friday

THE 6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS OF 2006

SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?" The clerk says, "What denomination?" The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
He never heard the shot....

(Thanks to my dear old friend Steve for the material)

Joke Friday

Luck of the Irish

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"
"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs where Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.
"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."
"Fook off you liar!"
"I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"
"Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"

Jack's Joke Shop,Billy Crystal and a New Diagnosis

I read in the paper the other day that Jack's Joke Shop in Boston was closing. They've been in business since 1922 - 85 years!! I vaguely remember going there in the 80's - at the height of my bartending career - when I learned that telling or "doing" jokes were part of the "trade". This is where I bought those dumb plastic ice cubes with flies in them and the plastic vomit and poop, not to mention the whoopie cushions, the flower ring squirter and the retractable dollar on a string- i love them all. Am I a distant relative of the Marx Brothers or the Three Stoogies?

Laughing is good, especially for a depressed person.
Billy Crystal makes me laugh - When Harry Meets Sally is one of my favorite all time movies.
The other day at work, a co-worker gave me a copy of 700 Sundays by Billy Crystal - it's just what the Doctor ordered it seems, which seques niceley to the Diagnosis of the day... RA, well maybe - let's hope not.
I finally got to see my PCP the other day and she ran some blood tests. Her nurse called me this morning to tell me that I had a positive test for RA but that there are false positives sometimes, but to keep my consult with the Rhumatologist.

Well this is a fine kettle of fish.. just when I was getting comfortable with being "Middle-aged", just when I started thinking, OK this isn't old- wham you're old. ????
Yeah, even when the nurse called me into the office the other day she exclaimed, "you're not ___!", to which I replied, "well, I feel eighty!" But wait a minute I wish I felt as good as my 87 yr. old Mother-in-law - she can run circles around me now(she can out clean and out shop me).

So I can't believe Jack's Joke Shop is closing, the end of an era; and the beginning of another - the Dark(I mean Middle Ages). Ok , enof with the hot flashes and achey breaky bones, I'm going to read 700 Sundays.

Joke Friday



Ran across this from looking up a site meter google find for "You know you're old when" ; which was the name of an old post of mine.
Thought it very clever, hope they don't mind me borrowing it for Joke Friday.


You know you're old when:
Some of the vocal artists of the ’60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.
They include:
1. Herman’s Hermits Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker
2. The Bee Gees How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
3. Bobby Darin Splish, Splash, I Was Havin’ a Flash
4. Ringo Starr I Get By With a Little Help From Depends
5. Roberta Flack The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
6. Johnny Nash I Can’t See Clearly Now
7. Paul Simon Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
8. The Commodores Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
9. Marvin Gaye Heard It Through the Grape Nuts
10. Procol Harem A Whiter Shade of Hair
11. Leo Sayer You Make Me Feel Like Napping
12. The Temptations Papa’s Got a Kidney Stone
13. Abba Denture Queen
14 . Tony Orlando Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall
15. Helen Reddy I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore
16. Willie Nelson On the Commode Again
17. Leslie Gore It’s My Procedure and I’ll Cry If I Want To

Make me no promises, I'll tell you no lies...

Ok I lied, I said I would finish that story the next day, now it's sitting in the draft's file with 80 others. Let's see even if i delete 1/2 i'll still have almost a months worth of posts. Yes I should've just finished the post at hand while i was on a roll - don't stop now as a wise friend once told me.

So today's excuse (and I have plenty of them) is the diagnosis of the day: posterior Interosseous nerve syndrome. The reason for my left arm pain as told to me in my allotted 5 min; cept that i wasn't satified with that and marched back into ask a couple more questions - wanted to get my $20 copay money's worth. Now I work in a Dr's office and know all about these drive-thru exams and surgery (gall bladder '03 and childbirth '94). Here's your hat, what's your hurry.
And now I can't even read about it on Web MD cause according to them it doesn't exist or he didn't spell it right for me, when I asked for him to right it down and I even called back and asked his assistant. Maybe they'll get back to me tomorrow.