Maybe winter's not so bad

Spring and summer are my favorite seasons - all those beautiful flowers bloomin (but the allergies) and summer - the warm sun and sand and magnificent ocean ( that is too cold to enter in these parts). But, still there's... gardening, barbecues, lazy days at the beach. With Spring just springin I find myself already longing for those easy days of winter-stay in with a good book by the fire-trade that margarita in for a nice glass of merlot or brandy.
I'm not really this negative but pain in my shoulder/elbow - constant reminder that I'm not 20 anymore and I already have a touch of poisen ivy. But baseball season is upon us andI get to see my #1 son shine; he so loves the game that it's truly infectious .
Maybe Fall is the answer, yard work done -wait in quiet resignation for ole man winter.

Careful what you wish for - I wrote this on April 21 on a beautiful day when i over did it in the yard; now here it is 19 days later - rainy and raw and i'm cranky cause i can't get out in my yard!
I guess you really do need to post in real time, cause your perspective sure can change. Kind of like the weather in New England.

Joke Friday

(Warning: not for the faint of heart)

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. Obviously, he goes to
hell where the devil is waiting for him.I'm not sure what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'm going to have to let someone else go. I've got three folks here who
weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a
sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time. "No!" I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day." commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying
on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked
in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what
she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while
and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said
"Ok,Monica, you're free to go!"

What the heck....

am i invisible? is your time worth infinitely more than mine, do you own the world? Let me tell you, i was pissed. I dropped my son off at Sunday school in Plymouth and drove down the street to park in front of the bay - got out of the car with my papers , but decided it was too cold to sit on the bench so i retreated back to my car. I guess i got absorbed in my reading, i had noticed that there was some motorcycle activity going on right next to me - but i decided to ignore it till it got too distracting - the noise and the pollution-that I decided to move back to the parking lot by the temple to wait. When i looked up and turned around to back out I found that I was surrounded by motorcycles - with maybe 4 parked right behind me up to my bumper!! (i felt like i was in a bad dream). I asked one guy who was standing there and he mumbled something or other. I said what the heck I've got to get out of here, I've got to go pick up my kid! So i got back in the car and leaned on the horn and someone in the gang/group came over and told me that they went to get gas and I said oh yea? but why did they park behind me?? so i lay on the horn somemore and a policeman came and hurried them along. The nerve!!! I am incredulous to the say the least, as i don't want to resort to profanity - what the heck????

my so called peaceful sunday - maybe i'll go get an ice cream to get over my bad dream.

Joke Friday

Dear IRS, Enclosed is my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from USA Today, wherein you will see the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat. I am enclosing four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029), bringing my total remitted to $3429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one 1.5" Phillips Head screw (article from USA Today detailing how HUD pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws is enclosed for your convenience.) It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year. Sincerely, A Satisfied Taxpayer
TODAYS TAXES
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
Capital Gains Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette T ax
Corporate Income Tax
Court Fines (indirect taxes)
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax Federa
Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax Interest Expense (tax on the money THEY paid tax on already)
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Local Income Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Septic Permit Tax
Service Charge Taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Taxes (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Road Toll Booth Taxes
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal , State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-Recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Toll Bridge Taxes
Toll Tunnel Taxes
Traffic Fines (indirect taxation)
Trailer Registration Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
COMMENTS: Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and our nation was the most prosperous in the world, had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What the hell happened ?

House

G-d I love this show. It's my show of the season; the one I wait all week to watch. The character House is not your typical Young, dark and handsome. He's middle-aged, greying, limping and yes..sexy. The show is exciting, moves along, makes you think, but most of all is a study in human nature and character.
My other show this year is Grey's Anatomy - but even tho this is another doctor show I must admit I'm into it for the soap opera factor.
Hate to admit this but... it's time to go watch Idol and vote. I know i've reached a new low.

Footnote, just found this in my drafts from back in Jan. just neededyet another quick cover-up post.

cover-up posting

You know, when you just want to post to cover up that previous post( am i repeating myself - this sounds very familiar; but i am so sleep deprived that I either don't care or too lazy to see if i've used that phrase before . I guess i should just take a sabattical cause all i seem to do lately is piss & moan about my wretched life and how i'm too busy to post properly, so i just fire out some lame drivel; but then i guess who am I trying to impress - all you nice folks who stop by, that's who. Dont' want to bore you guys day after day with the same drivel. ok i am officially going to stop using that word, but i don't want to keep saying.. crap - will have to come up with some new material. But all that said, sometime I do want to impress and sometimes i just want to vent and sometimes i just want to practice writing, tho I think i should brush off my editing skills and try and come up with a proper post one of these damn days.

Too pooped to post or Just shoot me

This weekend almost killed me, or the past 3 days I should say (Friday was my day off -ha! - I'm almost looking forward to work tomorrow cause it will be easier than juggling a 12 yr. old boy and 86 yr. old MIL(mother-in-law). I was just going to cruise my fav blogs as the title *belies my state of mind, but then i got the pull - that gravitational tug. Anyway the 2nd part of the title - Just shoot me - became my key phrase this wkend. and my (wonderful) son/ (beautiful) boy heard me and said - "hey, that can be the title of your book", my perceptive Pisces - what a dreamer.
Well to say this weekend was grueling, would be an understatement. Too many balls in the air (remember the real estate course that I'm supposedly studying for - bedtime reading - really! but I am already working it - did some photos for my friends listing). See i just like the creative side of it - the picture taking and copy writing. just goes to show ya, as they say.
anyway, back to the story at hand, put in 10 hrs. on friday , madly unpacking. then back sat. for some more, after dropping the boy at the ball field for a 2 hr. practice; then some shopping for needed items at the new place. Today we dropped her at the apt. with the new things to do some work on her own, while I took the boy to sunday school and then to baseball pics. then back to help MIL, then finally back home to do yard work, then to the food store, a couple of loads of laudry and here I sit, not for long - time to unload the dryer and fold.

*(i like the sound of that word, but just looked it up and I guess it is out of context here - but as i said , i just like it, so it stays)

Joke Friday

Bus Crash
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck,
and everyone inside dies.
They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief
they have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each,
before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish
is.
"I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it
is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be
gorgeous too.
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous
but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line
starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the
floor, laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches the last guy and asks him what his wish
will be.
The guy eventually calms down and says:

"Make 'em all ugly again".

SO THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE 'LAST IN LINE'...BE HAPPY!

busy, busy,busy

Well, I was always a good one for excuses and little white lies ( sometimes not so little). But folks, I am hearby exclaiming I am in over my head but as long as no other body parts fail me, i'll survive. The MIL (mother-in-law) did finally make up her mind and has moved from lovely NJ to wonderful Massachusetts. So tomorrow is the big moving day. She arrived late last night afer a horrific afternoon of fighting (well being walked all over by the movers), then getting in the car with her son and driving 7&1/2 hrs. here. They both looked like they'd been raked over the coals. I spent a couple of hours on the phone with the **%&$**%*#* movers today and managed to recoup some money; well they are gouging us $800 less. That," I'm calling the Attorney General's" does work. So tomorrow the moving clothes go on, so glad i have the day off. Now, when am I going to get down to studying for that dumb real estate test?

Do you do this?

Do you sometimes post, just to get that previous post out of there - the glaring first thing someone sees when they discover you. Do you get that obligated (oh no i have homework to do) feeling about posting - like when you are hypercritical about everything you write - like this is just drivel? Well i'm here to say it's our drivel and knock that internal critic to the moon, tell him to get the hell out of your way; this space is yours and yours only. Yea right. I guess we do need the irritating little fellow or g-d knows what would wind up here. See there he snuck in again, wiley guy isn't he? What are your idiosyncrasies(as far as writing)? Sitting here trying to decide between the post or delete button - who wins?

Toast

Just got out of a 12 (well ok only 10) hr. real estate class. Feel like I just had a basketball full of information jammed into my pea size brain. I can't remember the last time I even took an 1-2 hr. class - yea i can - CPR maybe 2-3 yrs. ago, and there you got to play with dummys. And the worst thing is that I have to get up and do it again tomorrow. Better get some brain sleep.

Joke Friday

THIS IS FOR SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN I THINK CAN HANDLE IT


WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse."So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked."No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)I know I'm not going to understand women.I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.She directs him down the correct aisle.A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.( I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton! )
WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?""Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
W O R D S A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.. 30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!WHO DOES WHATA man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee. "Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
THE SILENT TREATMENT A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Manic Monday

Just another manic monday, wish it was Sunday - well i don't know about that- Sunday was pretty manic too. Let's see Sat. I did a ton of yard work ( but i found a $50 bill by the side of the road, that made it worthwhile - i think). Then Sun.-Easter- went to work at the Club to bartend/cashier, back home to finish the yard work, then quilt made me play ball with the boy - he taught me some pitching techniques. But the downside of all this, is that my arm is feeling the effects of all this activity; Ok Now we get to Monday:worked all day doin eye exams, then had a committee meeting that i was vouluteered to. But generally i just hate mondays, cause it's so hard getting back into the swing of things - no wonder.

Happy Eastover

Joke Friday

A woman in her fifties is at home, unclothed, happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight.
Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"
The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram, and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18 year-old.
The husband replies, "What did he say about your 55-year old ass?"
"Your name never came up," she replied.

(Once again, sorry guys :)

Fifteen minutes of fame

Well, my fifteen minutes of fame (wasn't it Andy Warhol that coined that phrase?) are over; now what? I must admit that even tho the shy virgo in me was aghast at being caught "with her pants down", the Leo in me totally enjoyed the attention ( the virgo(critic) realizes that somehow doesn't sound right, but i'm too tired to care . So looking for more attention....over at my New Poems blog I've posted my first ever attempt at Haiku-it was fun, kind of.
Someone left a comment once, asking if anyone knew of my poetry site(side) of me; so I guess I will toot my horn as they say and direct anyone who hasn't found it on their own to go to a peek. As writing goes I guess I consider myself a poet first, journal writer(blogger) second and aspiring comedic writer, journalist, wannabee short story/novel writer last.

Cat got your tongue?

Tongue tied. What can I say?
Well the pressure is on now - dear FTS has sent folks my way and I'm feeling like i've been caught with my pants down,for lack of a better expression. Oh but as usual I can give you plenty of excuses why. I have been dealing with my mother-in-law, whom i really like, before you get me wrong. Actually i probably(really) get along better with her than I do my husband. She is 86 and really with it, fun to be around, funny and no problem at all - she even cleans my house. She lives alone in NJ and we've been trying to get her to move near one of her 4 kids for years. Her apartment situation is not good at all and she came up about a week ago to revisit an independent living place in our town and agreed to take the apt.; we even picked rug and wall colors, talked about celebrating, jumped up and down and then I come home from taking the boy to sunday school and she announces she's having second thoughts. So- many hours/phone call to the other siblings and we are still no closer to a resolution. As my mother would've said,"Que sera sera" - What will be, will be. That said, I must say it was a thrill to discover that I was FTS's Blog of the week. Thanks FTS and welcome anyone who stops by, I will try and be properly dressed next time you stop by.

Joke Friday

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to Eisenhower hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing Bob Hope Drive on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied: "I didn't recognize you".

Perfect job

The other day this wild idea popped into my head - I thought of what the perfect job for me would've been: for those of you old enough (oh yea reruns)to remember the DicK Van Dyke show; i thought i'd like to be Sally (tho thinner and cuter - remember she couldn't get good dates), brainstorming skits, comedy with those two, dick van dyke and buddy. Or maybe better yet, Mary Tyler Moore. Just like now I always say what's a nice Jewish girl like me doing working for the doctor, i should be married to him; or even better - the other thing i always say to patients when they ask, "what's the doctor going to do?"; I say," yea, I guess I should be the poster child for Stay in school." It would be nice to have his paycheck stead of mine.

Seriously i always wanted to work in TV/film-production/editing.

What is/was your dream job?

Yippee the science fair is over!

That's not a baseball in his hand it's the model eye, tho next stop after the way too long day at the fair was baseball leveling. We even squeezed in a haircut after all this; he's much handsomer than these pics.

Boy puts head in croc!!!!

Happy April Fools!!!
Pic(friend's grandson)from our trip - becoming a distant memory. Will have to post more about it later. We laughed our pants off about this pic tho - I think he has a future in acting, don't you?

Finally some good news!!!

I was so happy when I came downstairs today and saw the headline that she was released finally.
Welcome Home Jill!!!!!

Joke Friday

(Hope you guys can take a joke)

God and Eve “Lord, I have a problem." "What's the problem, Eve?" "I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
And why is that Eve?" “Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." “Man? What is t hat, Lord?" "A flawed creature, with many bad habits and traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly." “Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch, Lord?"
“Well...You can have him on one condition." And what's that, Lord?" As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring...So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret...you know, woman to woman."

The Master of procrastination

, excuses, and alibis is proudly proclaiming ...."The F-in Science Fair Project is Done!!!" The problem was we shoulda started it a week earlier; basically we crammed 2 wks. worth of work into 1 week ( and without the drugs- like in College). And we didn't really do all that much yelling considering. Now we just have to spend the whole day on Sat. at school at the damn Fair. I know i have a very bad attitude. L's not too pleased cause we will be late for baseball leveling day. I on the other hand might have more time to post while sitting in the car at practices. Maybe I can even write a" great american novel "like the woman from a town near here. The novel was "Must love dogs" - she wrote it waiting at soccer practices. Well since I'm too tired to cook we are going out for a burger, so hopefully i can not get back to regular or irregular posting now. Tomorrow is Joke Friday - see you then - if not before.
Hey, anyone know how to add that blogrolling thing so that you know when blogs have updated? and don't tell me to go to blogrolling - I'm one of those who don't read the directions usually. I do like the idea of this feature tho so maybe I will .... later.

It never ends...

I just can't seem to get my head above water, damn feet keep slipping on all that oozy slimey stuff on the bottom of the pond. Got thru taxes and sun poisoning, pulled another bartending stint yesterday for a wedding (poor bastards) and now we're trying to get the Science Fair project in by Thurs. (so really done by Wed.) We shoulda started last weekend or the one before that even. Story of my life ,shoulda, woulda, coulda. Shoulda started last week,woulda cleaned the house and coulda posted in peace. One of these days now, really.

Joke Friday

A fairy tale... Rewritten by a Woman
(rated PG13 - 1 swear word at the end, and to the male readers - it's only a joke - I don't really hate men. Tho how come there is no word for that in the dictionary- like there is for misogynist(woman hater)? or is there?)
Update: just checked dictionary.com and nope none for man hater - just man eater (tiger or woman dangerous to man - written by a man, no doubt. :D )

This is the fairy tale we should have been reading as little girls!

Once upon a time, In a land far away, A beautiful, independent, Self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't fucking think so.

Buried in paper

I love words; I hate math. It's simply as that. Since my last morose post I've been dying to post again, something a little more upbeat, but I've been buried in numbers and paper, both of which i hate. My tax guy came today and inevitably as always I am unprepared. I had all the W-2's and 1099's and whatever else comes in the mail all jammed in the closet above my desk, right in the corner where i could find them and I pulled them out just an hour before he arrived;tho I messed that up too. I thought he was coming at 3 but he arrived at 2, so I had barely arranged the piles on the dining room table,never having even looked to see if I had everything i needed (what a surprise). Luckily for me he is a kind patient ole guy and used to me it seems. I even made jokes about missing the same papers every year, the abiguous excise tax forms (only those from Mass. would appreciate this - just another dumb tax from taxachusetts- on the car you aleady own). Then we came upon a snafu and I had to make a call to my broker ( boy I wish I was as rich as that sounds) but actually it's my Dad's broker, who I inherited last yr. when he passed away and never having had any monies to claim I was lucky that my tax guy caught an error. However when we made the call to get the correct numbers to figure the tax mess, we were told by Iris, my brokers left hand woman, that she would call right back. I was already late for picking up my son so I left the taxguy with the phone and said, "I'll be right back." When I got to the school L. was right out front with his friend who needed a ride home so I yelled just get in the car and off we went. When we got back Iris still hadn't called so I called her and she spoke with Tom, the tax guy, and we finally got the damn taxes done. The dining room table is still covered with my mess of papers; have I said how much I hate paper as well as numbers. I really did want to get to one of those drafts, well maybe tomorrow.

Too much of a good thing

Went to a St. Pat's party Fri. nite for an old boss of mine (from when I was still bartending regularly); he's from Ireland and alot of fun, best boss I ever had!
Then the next night I did a bartending stint- a St. Pat's party for the Plymouth County Democratic Party; a good party- Irish band, Irish stepdancers and funny Anti-Republican jokes. Tho I've been having a pretty good time this wkend, I think it's taken a toll on me - forgot to mention the sunpoisoning that's been so incredibly itchy it's been keeping me up nights. I also seem to be going thru a(nother) lack of self confidence regarding this blog-sometimes i think this online journaling is not for the faint of heart. So I'll be back when I can muster up a proper post.

Joke Friday

Happy St. Paddy's Day
A young Irishman sat at a pub in the New World drinking beer and conversin'
with the barkeep. Another comes in and sits besides him. He says how you do
and hears the lilt and says you be Irish? Yes I am. The first man yells
barkeep give us another round and one for my friend here he's from the mother
country as well. The second man asks-so where in the old country ye from.
Dublin responds the first. Dublin you say - so am I and the second man
hollers barkeep bring us another round and a shot of your best Irish Whiskey
for me and my friend here. Afterwards the first man asks from where in Dublin
and the second man responds with the street and the first man says well I'll
be - so am I and yells barkeep another pair of beers and Irish Whiskey for
the pair of us. The phone behind the bar rings and the barkeep answers it. The owner of the pub asks - how is business. The barkeep responds - not too bad - The O'Malley twins are here getting drunk again.


His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning
Finnegan.
"Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant.
"She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the
Irishman.

Close but no cigar

Remember my packing nightmares of the previous post?? The day before I left I treated myself to a little shopping spree: new jeans, new cover-up/dress and new shoes - these cute little slip on black mesh numbers with a small clunky heel- perfect for capris'. After dinner when I went upstairs to begin the packing ordeal I think the neighbor heard my screams ( I know he did cause he was in my living room painting.) My darling 2 yr. old black lab who has never even eaten an old shoe had eaten a corner off one of my new black shoes - but first he had to eat thru the plastic shopping bag (with jeans and dress(unharmed-phwee) then through the cardboard box and paper. I was yelling and threatening pretty good because my son came running to his rescue. I was glad that they weren't expensive shoes but, but...now I don't have my new cute shoes. :(

The day of the trip with everything packed in the car we drove the 7 min to pick up my son at school and first thing he says is, "I lost my glasses" - great- i didn't hide my displeasure-disappointment that he would not really be seeing the game/players we were so looking forward to and I would be seeing him squint his way thru our trip (not to mention the expense when we got back of a new pair). Score: down 1 shoe, 1 pair of glasses and we haven't even left town.

When we finally do arrive at our destination (i've blocked the 2 flights) and unpacked I realize that I did indeed forget my jewelry - no biggie for me tho since i usually wear the same things that are already on my body. During the trip I did manage to lose my make up - only one item tho.
And I wonder why I have those dreams - premonitions I'd say.
to be cont....

On the road again

Flying (gulp) to Florida today; so frantically trying to pack. I am the world's worst - even have reoccuring nightmares about it. I'm usually trying to pack scad and scads of clothes, shoes, books, etc (maybe i'm confusing this with my moving dream) and missing my flight or leaving all my hair products and makeup or jewelry at home.

Plus I always try to clean my house before I leave, especially since my neighbor stays here to watch the dog.With any luck the living room will be done when I get back (he's also my painter).

So Spring training here we come, hoping we catch a couple and get some autographs - that oughta put a big grin on the kid's face.
Taking the laptop with me so if the spirit moves me I'll be posting.

Patient

I smelt trouble as soon as he walked in the door with his attitude tucked under his arm. Smug, arrogrant and grumpy. He was going to give me a run for my money, a hard time all the way i thought. How am I going to get through this exam without showing my displeasure with him. I was just getting my actress chops going - ok I'll just be really professional and not let him get a rise out of me. Then suddenly things changed, I'm not sure what I said to him, my usual litany of questions, medicines? any change in health? etc, etc. but I was just about to turn the lights off to do the eye exam when I noticed him getting teary/choked up. He told me that his wife had died in Nov. as i patted his arm and said something like "yea it takes awhile", he tells me it was Nov. of 2003. So now since he's shown me his vulnerable side,I'm being nicer to him and him to me and we get through the exam.
Later I hear the doctor say something to his scribe about him and I start talking about him to her, how he had come in all grumpy then turned on a dime and told me about his wife yadda, yadda, yadda. At which she interupts and says "he's married, he married his college roomates wife, after her husband died; and he's still cryin about the 1st wife.
People are strange...when you're a stranger....faces look ugly....
? who's song?

Repeat performance

Sunday was pretty much a repeat performance of Saturday. No accidents just still can't get anything done around here. Now Manic Monday rears it's ugly head so I'm just going to post some pics:
An amarylis bulb that I received for X-mas blooming beautifully, my black lab looking like a yogi, and the reflection of my kitchen light floating eerierly in the pic of the bird feeders.

I hadn't planned

on cleaning the basement! - not with the way my house looks, but when I heard the scream from downstairs and yelled, "are you allright", as I ran down the steps; he answered quickly, "yeah, but I broke that big think that used to be in Danielle's room". As soon as I got down there I remembered, oh yea that thing that has been down there since her 16th B-day party (she just turned 18). Tall cylinder filled with water and plastic fish now in shards and water everywhere, including all over the drum set and the rug under the drum set. So we spent the better part of an hour cleaning up the mess. I'm supposed to be sanding, putting and binning the woodwork in the living room so what the hell am I doing on here? practicing avoidance? I managed to throw in a load of laundry on the way up - no easy task either - especially with a boy - you have to look at every piece of clothing before you put it in and spray almost every inch of it in hopes of those grape juice and dirt stains coming out, some pieces look like they should be thrown out but they wash up pretty good luckily. Okay enough stalling, time to sand and vacuum that woodwork - for 1/2 and hr. then i have to go pick up the boy at the movies, and i wonder why nothing gets done around here.

Joke Friday

THIRTY LINES THAT MIGHT MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10.. I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.

11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

19. Procrastinate Now!

20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.(for shame!!)

25.He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

27.Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

28.The trouble with life is there's no background music.

29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

30. I smile! because I don't know what the hell is going on

My dinner with Luke

Got dinner on the table late as usual and as usual the two of us, my son & I, had our reading material all around us. We eat at the kitchen island because it is usually just the two of us (plus the two animals clamoring for food). His sports magazines and my newspapers from the morning are usually still shrewn around. Sometime I say, " put the magazine away" in an attempt to have normal dinner conversation, but a lot of the time I just let us read cause we are together so much that I don't think that we have to "make dinner conversations" - it's exhausting anyway, trying to pry information from a twelve year old, ie: "what did you do at school today?, "nothing".
He sometimes reads me some sports trivia that I don't have a clue about and tonite I read to him from one of the articles in the newspaper that I 've been saving to read- about this 19 yr. old Indian American Harvard student who got a book deal for 500,000(at age 17!) His response - "what's she need 500,000 dollars for? she's in college.
And I answered(seeing an opportunity for some of that "good dinner conversation," well why do those sports heroes have to make millions of dollars? what about the firefighters saving lives, they're the heroes and they don't make much. His comeback was "well, Jackie Robinson" was a hero- he was one of the first black players" and I said "yea, I bet he didn't make much."
One of our better dinner conversations I'd say.

Joke Friday

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.
Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

Voted Women's Favorite Email of the Year

Slacker

Here it is Hump Wednesday and I haven't posted since my little poll on Sat. and the post before that was on my abandoned blog. So what's up with that? Let's see for excuses I have 1) my little "procedure" 2) school vacation week 3) someone's always playing Texas hold-em when I'm ready to post; but these are lame excuses as I 1) have the week off 2) the boy is in baseball camp for 4 hrs. in the morning and 3) I do have a laptop that i never use.
So what is my problem? Am I losing interest? Is the bloom off the rose? I had all good intentions of 1) getting my house cleaned 2) attacking my paper clutter/get my papers/life organized 3) attempting some writing (enter a poem in the next carnival).
So I guess the only answer is I am a terrible slacker. Sounds like a title of one of those Series of unfortunate events books that the boy reads. Or maybe it's the 2 hrs. I waste watching American Idol. Whatever it is I am feeling pathetic; I will attack that draft file with a vengence.... later- i'm not done slackin.

Your opinion counts

Something I've been mulling over for awhile. Should've put this up for Valentines Day.

Do you think:
a) opposites attract?
b) birds of a feather are better?
c) or is this really just G-d's little joke watching men and woman trying to get along

And which combination is better for a marraige or long-term relationship
a) opposites
b) birds of a feather
c) none of the above or other?

Joke Friday

George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, "I want to go to Disneyland."
George said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One".

The second kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's."
George said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!"

The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!"
Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you are handicapped."

The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"

Abandoned blog

I've been feeling remiss this week on not having posted since Sun. But you know.. "Life's what happens while you're making other plans." I don't know where I read that but it's so true. Anyway I've been a little preoccupied of late- introspective i guess. Anyway I'm off today and going into the big city - Boston- for a little procedure ( nothing remotely life threatening). So maybe i'll blog about it, maybe i won't.

Weekend whiteout

Views from my window. Wish i had a better camara, but this was my first digital. Really glad I filled those bird feeders yesterday, looks like they are too.
The fat squirrel looks like one of those guys in Atlantic City, NJ at the all you can eat buffets.
He profited from my ADD style of filling the bird feeders- bring bag out on deck and leave on table to the next day.

Joke Friday

The Pasta Diet

1) You walka pasta da bakery.
2) You walka pasta da candy store.
3) You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.
4) You walka pasta da table and fridge.

And for those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all the
conflicting medical studies:

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Americans.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer
fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausage and suffer
fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Help

Todays patient,a diabetic, tells me he cheats, then feels guilty. We get into a fairly lengthy discussion about this.
After finishing the next patient, I notice that he has left his hot chocolate behind and I go out to the waiting room to find him to give it to him.
I find him in the optical shop; he looks up and sees me and smiles and says," I know I left it." I say jokingly, "Yeah, I confiscated it."
he smiles and puts up his hand and says "that's ok - thanks."
Sometimes I am the one giving the help(not like in my previous work posts, in which the patients brought words of wisdom to me); but like this pep talk to a diabetic about how food = medicine but don't beat yourself up over it. Sometimes when people are worried and nervous,a line I use alot is," don't worry till you have something to worry about."

Called out sick

today, there was no way i could drag my tired body into work. My back was hurting real bad last night so I took a pain pill, when it didn't seem to be doing the trick, i remembered that it said take 1 or 2 every 4 hrs. as needed so i took a second. I was sure that I would be out like a light in no time. The exact opposite happenned, i was wide awake most of the night. At 2 in the morning I decided to take 2 more for the pain cause i didn't realize at the time that they seemed to be having an opposite affect to sleepiness. So this morning when i dragged myself to the phone to call in and realized just how bad I did feel - dizzy and all, I attempted to go back to bed and get some rest. But 1/2 hr. later when i was just falling off, the damn phone rang, my supervisor from work, calling to beg me to come in this afternoon if i felt beter because they were so shorthanded. Then 1/2 hr. later and the door bell is ringing - the electrician - now he gets here! I wish i coulda curled up like the perfect looking little angel here.

Halftime

Wow! What about that Mick Jagger and the Stones?? Not your average 60 yr. old. He's skinnier than most 20 yr. olds. Now - he can wear a belly shirt, no problem. How do they stay so thin? drugs?? are they vegetarians?? They're nothing short of incredible. If it weren't for them and the commercials I'd be asleep.

ADD posting

(This is a draft from Nov. 5th., i just couldn't delete it, i'm going thru my drafts folder one by one and deleting or posting or saving)

I just realized that I write like I do everything and maybe this is the problem. Do I have ADD? I tend to jump from one thing to another, be it housecleaning, yardwork, and now even writing. I start a post, get an idea for another, just don't want to finish the one I'm working on it seems; jump from one to another. I know i've written about this before in terms of my housekeeping ability or should i say disability. And I always thought that maybe it was just because housekeeping is just so boring, mundane. but writing is fluid, different, thought provoking. So then it must just be a flaw of mine. No stickwithitness, when the blogging gets tough the blogger goes surfing. Also the problem with all these drafts is that they're not in real time and may not reflect what's going on now.

Joke Friday

(I was actually relieved that I didn't remember them all)

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN...?

All the girls had ugly gym uniforms?
It took five minutes for the TV warm up?
Nearly everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got home from school?
Nobody owned a purebred dog?
When a quarter was a decent allowance?
You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?
Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces?
All your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had
their hair done every day and wore high heels?
You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped,
without asking, all for free, every time?
And you didn't pay for air? And, you got trading stamps to boot?
Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box?
It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner
at a real restaurant with your parents?
They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed. . .and they did?
When a 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car...to cruise,
peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady?
No one ever asked where the car keys were
because they were always in the car,
in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?
Lying on your back in the grass with your friends
and saying things like, "That cloud looks like a ."
and playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?
Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals
because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger?
And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once,
you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace,
and share it with the children of today?
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing
compared to the fate that awaited the student at home?
Basically we were in fear for our lives,
but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.
Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!
But we survived because their love was greater than the threat.
Send this on to someone who can still remember
Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Laurel and Hardy,
Howdy Dowdy and the Peanut Gallery,
the Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows,
Nellie Bell, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk.

As well as summers filled with bike rides, baseball games,
Hula Hoops, bowling and visits to the pool,
and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar.
Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that"?

I am sharing this with you today
because it ended with a double dog dare to pass it on.
To remember what a double dog dare is, read on.
And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between
old enough to know better and too young to care.

How many of these do you remember?
Candy cigarettes
Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside
Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes
Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum
Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
Newsreels before the movie
P.F. Fliers
Telephone numbers with a word prefix....(Raymond 4-601).
Party lines
Peashooters
Howdy Dowdy
45 RPM records
Green Stamps
Hi-Fi's
Metal ice cubes trays with levers
Mimeograph paper
Beanie and Cecil
Roller-skate keys
Cork pop guns
Drive ins
Studebakers
Washtub wringers
The Fuller Brush Man
Reel-To-Reel tape recorders
Tinkertoys
Erector Sets
The Fort Apache Play Set
Lincoln Logs
15 cent McDonald hamburgers
5 cent packs of baseball cards -
with that awful pink slab of bubble gum
Penny candy
35 cent a gallon gasoline
Jiffy Pop popcorn

Do you remember a time when...
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"?
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do Over!"?
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest?
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening?
It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"?
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"?
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot?
A foot of snow was a dream come true?
Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures?
"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense?
Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team?
War was a card game?
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin?
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!!

Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from
their "grown-up" life . . .I double-dog-dare-ya!

Eighth poetry carnival

The latest Poetry Carnival is up at Adam's Blog. Please go visit.

Homework

Why is it that sometimes it just rolls off the page like butter and then other times it feels like homework? Is it a state of mind? i guess - sometimes its a NewYork state of mind (exciting, an adventure) and sometimes its Hoboken(used to be a pitty kind of place in NJ, tho i hear now its nice).

And even tho it is something that I enjoy doing, sometimes you just have to break down and cook and clean. Today I'm wearing my painter's hat, tho I am not actually painting, just doing the prep work, spackling, sanding and vacumming. Sometimes I'm good at juggling, throw in a load of laundry, help the kid with homework (tho he rarely asks anymore - thank goodness he's smart - cause 6th grade math is beyond my expertise - and i think he's smart enof to realize this), blog a little, make dinner (uh-oh, better get to the store - no food!)

I had intended to get to one of those drafts, I guess i did but I might get a "C" for ? incomplete. The dog just dove under the computer and the kids telling me something about someone in sports on TV. How can I get any homework done!
Hope you all are having a great weekend!

Joke Friday

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills.

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Blonde customer: A white one...

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
T ech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

Customer: Hi this is Sharlene, I'm having trouble running my computer.
Tech support: So what do you have on your computer?
Customer: This cute purple teddy that my boyfriend bought me.

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

New toy

I hate to admit it but I love toys. I lust after them for months/years -like those widescreen/flat screen TV's, but I don't see one of those in my immediate future, unless I win the lottery. Yesteday I did get a Palm pilot tho. It's charging as I type. I got one at xmas time, the cheapest version and hadn't opened it. This weekend in the flyers , where i persue all those expensive toys, there was the nicer Palm tungston E on sale. This one can take a memory card and hold music and pictures. So besides having a fancy organizer I now have what I am calling my "E pod". Now if I can only figure out how to use it.

American Idol

The show you love to hate or hate to love? It's dumb, it's moronic, but it's funny; my favorite of course is Simon- so mean and sharp-tongued.I started watching it with Luke last year,at the end of the year before actually.But sitting on the couch with him reminds me of when I was a kid and watched The Ed Sullivan Show with my parents on Sunday nights. I won't tell you how many times I voted for Bo. So anyway that's what I'll be doing tonite I'm afraid to say.

S.A.D.

Seasonal Adjusment Disorder(for those of you not familiar with this - it's real - it's been studied) this is what I think I'm suffering from, among other things. This happens every winter it seems, cold and dark don't agree with me. I just noticed that I haven't posted since sat.(except for my call for help for the new name.) I have seen some signs of it around the blogosphere as well. It evidently also explains my cravings for sweets and carbs - mmm pasta and hot fudge.You can read more about it here, in case you think i made it up. Think Spring!

first lines

Got this idea from Musings of a Middle-aged Woman.These are the opening lines on my blog for each month of 2005:

April: This is a work in progress ( my 1st attempt at this).

May: Well, I'm finally back from my little foray into computer hell.

June: Well I had good intentions of writing in here and also turning over my garden but my old back is telling me to just go lie down.

July: I am seriously thinking of giving up blogging - its seems to be my latest addiction.

August: just one more load of laundry..
..fore I die ( sounds like a Bob Dylan song.)

Sept: Well it seems our illustrious President(synonymous with jackass) has proven his total ineffectiveness/uselessness once again.

Oct: Feel my best
Staring at this screen, typing on these keys. Writing a post or reading a post.

Nov: Feel like when I was six and had whooping cough; everyone else was out playing and I wasn't.

Dec: Over at The Glittering Muse my poem is included in The Symphonic Poetry Carnival.

Not a Joke

This is why I don't like to watch the news or read the newspaper. I used to only get the Sunday paper but because a telemarketer caught me on a good day and it was a good deal (less than the Sunday only paper) and because my son likes reading the sports page while he eats his cereal, we've been getting it daily. So I've been reading the front page and of course other than that blog news there is only bad news - This poor girls kidnapping, Bin Laden's new threat(which makes me wonder about my upcoming trip) and 2 pictures of kids, one who was beaten to death and one nearly to death (in vegatative coma).
I can't wait to we go back to just getting the paper on Sunday. For 2 reasons, the above and because all that paper (all those trees) and lugging them to the transfer station (dump) to be recycled.
So when I was trying to find a joke to post for Joke friday it just didn't seem right. I can't get that picture of Jill Carroll as a hostage out of my head. I downloaded that picture of her but then found the one of her as the vibrant woman she is. I am praying for her release.

Joke friday

Change of mind/heart: Not wanting to disappoint any who come here for Joke Friday and thinking after all humor is good medicine.

Things to Ponder- Some of these are great, make sure you read at least the last 3.
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Life's a ball

Life's a magazine. How much?.. 25 cents.. only got a nickel..that's life.. what's life?... a magaizine. (From when i was a kid growing up in NJ.)

Then there is this quote:
Life's what happens while you're making other plans.

I had all intentions of posting one of those 35 drafts today, but i got involved in a number of things, none of which i've finished, unfortunately. So I still have to find Red Sox/Yankees tickets on Ebay ( which I am new to) if I can figure out how to just finish registering. I am signed up for Paypay so i'll be able to pay for those tickets when I find them. And the worst part of all this is that my 12 yr. old doesn't think I should go to the game; well I can he says if he explains things to me before we go, or I promise not to talk. hmmmmm.

Then there is school vacation,Spring Training and baseball camp. Still have to make plans/find reservations for all that.

Who would've ever believed that my live would revolve around baseball.

Update: Exciting news- I just won my first bid on Ebay - tickets to the LA Dodgers/Redsox Spring Training Game!!!

Drafting

Going thru a extreme drafting phase here. That's me - non-committal with a dash of ADD. I just counted I have 35!! if you go way back. Most of those will be deleted tho. So does anyone else do this? or do you just fire them out and don't look back? Turning into a wicked night owl here, forget that i have to get up at the crack of dawn or before actually, still dark at 6:20AM. Too late to work on those drafts now; maybe tomorrow.

beach,birds, basketball and blogs

Creative types, don't balance checkbooks or put makeup on for their son's basketball game where all the other moms will be perfectly coiffed. They take pictures of the birds at the feeder, go to the beach on a rainy day, and of course blog, what else.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

January 15, 2006
Quote of the Week: Martin Luther King, Jr. on War
"It is time for all people of conscience to call upon America to return to her true home of brotherhood and peaceful pursuits. We cannot remain silent as our nation engages in one of history's most cruel and senseless wars.

During these days of human travail, we must encourage creative dissenters. We need them because the thunder of their fearless voices will be the only sound stronger than the blasts of bombs and the clamor of war hysteria.

Those of us who love peace must organize as effectively as war hawks. As they spread the propaganda of war, we must spread the propaganda of peace. "
---------------
"Now let me say that the next thing we must be concerned about if we are to have peace on earth and good will toward men is the nonviolent affirmation of the sacredness of all human life."

---- both quotes by Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929 - 1968)

Front page

Came downstairs this morning to make coffee and breakfast for the kid and there on the front page of The Boston Globe (on the top half - not bottom!) is this article about bloggers!
Headline: Website wants to unite bloggers smaller headline under that:
Mass. startup to pay writers (ok now they have my attention).

Now is when I wish I had a scanner, this would be so much easier than typing this whole thing. Well, light dawns on Marblehead, I'll hyperlink to it( so maybe i don't need a scanner). So you can read it for yourself right here

I've gone to the website but haven't had that much time to explore it; I must say I wasn't very impressed by what I saw. I was impressed with that Headline though.

Seven Things

Seven Things
this meme(I forget where I found it)was deceptively difficult to answer, but it actually appealed to me.

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1) Travel around the world
2) Write more/better
3) Play the piano more/better
4) see the grand canyon
5) Buy a boat
6) go to New Orleans
7) finish everything I've started
7 things I can do:
1) Play piano
2) Make a mean margarita
3) write poems
4) twirl a baton
5) knit
6) Grow basil and make pesto
7) tell jokes
7 things I cannot do:
1) Quit my job
2) Get enough sleep
3) Play the piano as well as i'd like to
4) Move
5) Drive without swearing
6) Write a book
7) Vote Republican

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1) Smarts
2) A dark/twisted/wicked sense of humor
3) Tall,dark and handsome
4) Not fat, not bald
5) Sensitivity
6) Musical/artistic talent
7) A big, knowing grin

7 things that I say most often:
1) Idiot/moron (while driving)
2) Jackson!(loudly - it's the dog's name)
3) I love you Lukie (to my son)
4) Shut up ( to the cat)
5) pick that up
6) damn it
7) where's my car, keys..
7 celebrity crushes:
1) House
2) Sting
3) Morton Downey Jr.
4) Bono
5) Charlie Sheen
6) Kevin Costner
7) Paul Newman (when he was younger)
As usual I'm tagging everyone who wants to be tagged.

joke friday

Choosing a wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several !times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

The bad cat goes to the vet

Took the bad cat, Dakota, to the vet today to be checked-to rule out any disease that could be causing his bad behavior. Also discussed with the vet if its not any thyroid or diabetes type problem causing his mood disorder then we will try amitryptiline to see if we can improve his mood (50% chance of it working he said). maybe I'll try it too. He was in full form today; put on quite a display. The assistant put on those huge suede gloves like you see the bird handlers wear with hawks. He was putting up a good fight tho for 16 and the vet went and got a blanket to throw over him and they had to knock him out with gas so that they could get a blood sample. This is why I don't take him to the vet much and have ordered from the foster and smith catalog and done his vaccines myself (except for the rabies vaccine which is only every 3 yrs. thankfully). So sounds like there is an outside chance that the bad cat can be rehabilatated - I'll believe it when I see it. Like the vet said, he really is a beautiful cat.

Update: Vet called today with the blood results, the good news is he doesn't have diabetes or thyroid(tho it's borderline); the bad news is he has kidney disease - not renal failure but renal unsufficiency. Well, he is old i guess. We are going to treat him with a blood pressure medication that's supposed to help for some reason that fails me now. And I'm going to try and have a cat door installed to the basement so that I can keep food out for him that he can get too all the time. We're going to hold off on the psych. drugs for awhile, for him anyway.

Party at my house

When I first moved into this house,5 years ago, the previous owners were bird lovers, so I filled the bird feeders dutifully; I didn't realize it was a full-time job and costing me quite a bit of $$( I was also feeding a pretty fat squirrel.) I was filling them every day it seemed.
I remember coming downstair that first morning (it was the middle of Feb.) and going into the sunroom and seeing my cat and dog watching the bird show - both of them sat mesmerized by it and myself included.
It was so neat and I kept it up for awhile til i got tired of filling those feeders constantly, going out on the snow covered deck, climbing up to reach the feeder and then the expense of buying those huge bags of seed and lugging them home.
Then recently, I don't know why, but I bought some birdseed and then a new feeder, more birdseed. It's really quite amazing and fun watching them. I didn't get a picture of the magnificent cardinal and bluebird, maybe next time.

bookstores

Well we hit 2 bookstores in 2 days. Yesterday we went to Barnes and Noble to return a xmas book. Luke picked out a Red sox book ( what a surprise! - the consumate Red Sox fan.) The last book I bought him for a good report card was "The Idiot" by Johnny Damon, that I just found out today has some inappropriate stuff. Oh well, I can't proofread everything he's gonna read, can I? I suppose I should be more careful. But this coming from someone whose mother let her read Peyton Place ( and if you're as old as me you know that was steamy way back then.) His book selection yesterday was," Now I can die happy" by the ESPN sports guy.

Today we went to Borders, I had a gift card for $20 that I got for opening a charge card. I also had a coupon for 1/2 off the 2nd book. It took me a little longer than him to find one tho. of couse he had 2 sports books picked out in no time and settled on Stephen Kings " Faithful", yep bout the Red Sox . I guess my boy is a little obsessed, guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I had a list of books, some of which i couldn't find. The problem with not buying many books is deciding when you finally do. The one I settled on after going back and forth between fiction, poetry, and writing books was in the religion area with the buddhism books, one called "When things fall apart". Maybe this will be the one.

Just for fun!

(Yes, I used to take all those silly quizzes in the ladies magazines.)

I took the "The Animal Spirit" quiz on gURL.com
		My animal spirit is... The Mongoose The mongoose is the only animal that would risk life and limb for a loved one. The mongoose also uses its speed to escape danger when it finds itself in a tight spot. According to shamanistic wisdom, mongoose people value relationships over everything and are the most loyal of friends. Read more... What is your animal spirit?

Joke Friday

Blonde joke:

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horses neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune...

Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

Fours

Another meme:

Four jobs you've had in your life: Ophthalmic technician, bartender, tv crewperson, charter boat office manager.

Four movies you could watch over and over: When Harry met Sally, Casablanca,Forrest Gump, Dumb and dumber

Four places you've lived: Boston, Key West, St. Croix, Martha's Vineyard

Four TV shows you love to watch: House,Seinfeld, Everybody loves Raymond, Cheers

Four places you've been on vacation: Florida, California, Paris,Bahamas

Four websites you visit daily: Simply Wait, Musings of a middleage woman, find me a bluebird, follow that star.

Four of your favorite foods: pizza, pasta,cheese,Thai.

Four places you'd rather be right now: Hawaii, Caribbean, Italy, Paris

You know the drill: play if you feel like it.

Bunco!

I guess us chicks (women) in the burbs are desperate. Desperate for entertainment, desperate to get out of our houses. Tonite I went buncoing - to a bunco party. A bunch of grown women sit around tables and roll dice - don't ask ,I just do what I am told. I am not a regular (cause I don't want to commit(admit) to this silly game but hey I like a night out, excuse to eat and drink and talk grown up ladies talk. Tonite I actually won the prize for the last Bunco ( the last roll of 3 die). I was thrilled, it was the first time in more than a year that I have been playing that i have actually won anything.
When i was in college, we used to play bid-whist (something like bridge). If I had my druthers, we'd be playing pool or poker.

Narnia

I'm kinda ashamed to admit that I didn't like this one as much as King Kong. Probably shoulda seen this one first. Of course Kong moved along like a Hollywood blockbuster and Narnia moved to the beat of different drummer, had purpose, meaning. Tho I do think this is one that is better to read and absorb and get lost in. I'm sure I've tried to read this book long ago and I know there is a copy of it on Luke's bookshelf. I probably thought I might read it to him, tho the last book that I read to him was the 1st Harry Potter and now I'm buying him books from the adult shelves, like the Idiot by Johnny Damon. Anyway I say, two thumbs up for the gorilla and one for the lion.
The witch was pretty cool tho.

No more holidays please

I am officially holidayed out. No holiday letdown, but holiday burnout. I've eaten enof food, drank enof wine and spent enof money. If i could I'd like to get on one of those boats that go and offer medical help to those who need it in foreign countries. Mother duties prevent me from running away, that and a mortgage. So now we have to relearn how to eat; as in not expecting each meal to end with dessert or begin with wine and cheese and crackers. I am purging my house tomorrow, bringing the brownies that i forgot to put out yesteday to work; and also that box of unopened chocolates . No temptation please, yes I am weak(i have the backbone of jellyfish, don't tempt me.) So nowwe are free and clear til Valentines Day, and I don't think I have to worry about getting a pound of chocolates for that one. Then if we skip the Easter chocolate bunnies and jelly beans we can sail into swimsuit season without those extra pounds, one could only hope.

New Year's Resolutions- again?

Deleted
(I know what they are)