"Whenever I’m at a crossroads, be it choosing what bar to go to next or whether to launch a preposterous new venture, I ask myself, WWJGD? And I know just what to do—slam a double scotch and leap wildly toward the light while cracking wise at the suckers I’m leaving behind."
I came upon this online when I was looking for a picture of him as Joe the bartender for my previous post, but didn't find one.I loved Jackie Gleason and I love that WWJGD do line.
I tended bar tonite. I was asked to do it as a favor, because they were stuck. It was like I never left. I tended bar for years; I started in Amherst and Northampton, MA. The first job I had,I lied, I said I bartended before. I hadn't, but I'd cocktail waitressed and saw them all made and being a Leo I figured hey I can do that. Bartending also got me into traveling. (what terrible english).
One snowy night upon leaving work I had this revelation: Hey, I'm just a bartender, I can do this anywhere. So I decided to move to the US Virgin Islands - St. Croix(with a friend) ,where I landed a bartending job almost immediately and made a lot of Pina Coladas and Strawberry Daiquiri's. My boss was a complete and utter jerk , so I quit and moved to the restaurant down the street.
Next a friend convinced me to manage his boat charter company(the benefits were good, all the rum punch and sailing you wanted). Then I had the break of my life, I got a job working(pt time) for the local TV station - that was fun and great,butI moved back to the states and yup you guessed it - bartending, this time on Martha's Vineyard (yes I have a thing for Islands). After the summer I went back to Northampton - tending bar - what else. But i missed the ocean so back to the Vineyard I went with the plan to just stay long enof to make some money to move to NY to pursue a career in TV/film - my dream. Well my back went out and I wound up spending the winter on the island - another post.
Then I did a stint in Boston and worked some real fancy places and was even a Bar Manager. But I got tired of working nites and didn't want to be a forty year old bartender ( someday as Meg Ryan says(not about bartending but about Turning 40) in When Harry Met Sally ( one of my favorite movies).
This is why & when I made my big career move to Medicine, got married, moved to the suburbs and had a baby. Then since I was only working part time in my Tech. job I decided to come out of retirement(kinda like the athletes) and started tending bar at the country club near where I lived. My boss, Daniel, was from Ireland and the best boss that I ever had. It wasn't like work, my husband used to say it was my nite out and it was. I ate, drank and sometimes even danced. It was way fun. But then Daniel got a better job and left and it wasn't so fun anymore and I started doing my day job more - kid was in school now. So I gave up bartending again, that was about 6 yrs. ago.
Tonite I came out of retirement yet again,and it was just like the first time that i went back , like I never left. I remember when i started back that first time- walking into the walk-in(big fridge - for you guys not in the biz) to get some beer or wine and it felt like i was home,like the smell of the greasepaint. Walking back behind the bar tonite it was just like riding a bike.
addendum: I wrote this last night after a few cocktails and I realized I left out the craziest place I worked- Key West; I spent a winter there in between Martha's Vineyard stints. I did more cocktail waitressing there tho ( I worked at a topless beach - the customers not me!); I left out all the waitressing jobs and hostessing jobs that I had else this post woulda been even longer.
LIFE EXPLAINED
On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.; I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.
On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span. "The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.
On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed again.
On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you
Over at The Glittering Muse my poem is included in The Symphonic Poetry Carnival.
I've posted it here but please go read the others.
Believe
Is it that we are not fond
of one another anymore
no endearing looks, touches
no secret, knowing glances
It's so hard to live this way
no harmony, no closeness
feel like there is a weight on my chest
holding me down
hard to breathe
believe
wheedle \HWEE-d'l; WEE-d'l\, transitive verb:
1. To entice by soft words or flattery; to coax.
2. To gain or get by flattery or guile.
Now there's a word I can get next too. In case anyone hasn't noticed I've added word of the day in my links.
Monday's post was inspired or jump started by the word of the day; tho i have to admit in the past they have done nothing for me at all.
But today's word again fits in with what's going on here in my world.
Yesterday at work, it was another harried morning - "too many patients, not enof techs". Everytime i came out in the hall to grab another chart, a co-worker(and friend)-DH and I exchanged knowing exasperated looks (we do this a lot - don't have to talk - read each other's mind - but then she's pretty psychic and I am a little sometimes). Looks like I've managed to get off track here, what a surprise. So we get through the morning and it's lunchtime. Someone is supposed to be coming to talk to us about disability insurance(which we are secretly hoping is our ticket outta here). Well DH has the afternoon off and has to leave for an appt. and since I'm working the afternoon, I have to run home to let Jackson out and make sure I've left the door open for the boy. Anyway the poor woman shows up and we both tell her we only have a few minutes, at which she says well I guess we should reschedule cause it takes about 20 min to 1/2 hr. each. and we say "each?", we thought you could talk to us both at the same time. She explains that because of individual circumstances, variables and confindentiality, yaddy yaddy, yaddy. Anyway I somehow talk her into giving us the facts,"just the facts", give it to me in a nutshell. So she winds up sitting down and pulling out her laptop and going over it briefly. Just enof so we can get the idea of how it works and she gives us her card and tells us to call to make another appt. with her to finish individually. Then I inform the afternoon crew that "I'll be back", to which they answer, "We'll be here". I rush home but not to fast since I'm in the rental that was dropped off this morning. Remember "The Crash". I let the dog out and eat some Thanksgiving leftovers, hoping that I'm not giving myself food poisoning ( tho that would get me out of work this afternoon), throw out the rest of the Turkey and dash back to work ( only 15 min. late). And I even remembered to leave the door open.
In the evening I call DH to find out how she made out at her appt. and the Disability Lady finds her way into the conversation when we are talking about ways of getting out of our current jobs and into new ones. DH very complimentarily says that I should be running a company or something. She said see how you got that woman to sit down and show us what we wanted; you're a "quiet leader". Whatever that means. Does it mean I am pushy and bossy and get what I want or that I conjole and wheedle my way thru life? I prefer to think the later.
lassitude \LASS-uh-tood; LASS-uh-tyood\, noun:
Lack of vitality or energy; weariness; listlessness
I guess that is what I am suffering from today. So many thoughts going through my head today, memories of last year. Thanksgiving day arriving at the nursing home to find they had dressed my father and propped him up in a chair. When they brought around his plate of food, I gave him a small forkful, which he pushed away, "too much, too much". He had already stopped eating, had already given up. Just the day befoe he had arrived when the hospital informed me that since they were not treating him for anything (other than dying) they would have to discharge him. Two days later on Saturday, he was already in death's throes. I liked the room he was in , he had it to himself, at least he didn't have to have a stranger witness his death. I'd brought some pictures from his apt. and placed them around the room and on the window, which was a large one with a nice view of a woody hillside. His nurse, Gabriella, surely an angel came at regular intervals to administer pain medication to try and make him comfortable. He was seeing things ? angels we liked to think. and counting them 1,2,3. He wanted us to count and seemed to take comfort in it. I was there the whole day and thankful to my good friend, Marilyn, who came and stayed with me. We left for a little while when he seemed to finally fall into a farily restful sleep. When we came back they told me that he was in a coma and probably wouldn't make it thru the night. It was preety upsetting seeing him this way, as this was the last image I have of my mother as well. I just wanted to go home( felt like a little girl again), so we left but when we got to the lobby I stopped and said to my friend that I felt guilty leaving him,that maybe I should stay, that I wouldn't want to die alone. My friend said he'd probably still be here in the morning and that it was allright,so I went home. Gabrielle called very early in the morning and told me that he had passed on a little while ago. I've felt badly that I left, still do, and probably always will.
It is the 1 year anniversary of my father's death tomorrow. According to Jewish tradition you light a candle on the eve of his death. Since I don't really know what you are supposed to say when you light the candle, or what I will say, I thought I would post the eulogy that I wrote.
My father lived 91 yrs. 8 months & 2 days.
He had strong hands and he was proud of them.I guess they came in handy in his line of work as a butcher. 4 days before he died when the nurse said to squeeze her hands he said "Are you sure" and smiled with her expected response.
Though I really think he missed his calling..Accounting. He loved numbers. When I was cleaning out his apartment I found alot of scraps of paper with his calculations. 3 days before he died he asked me for the Business section of the paper.
My father had striking blue eyes. 2 days before he died, the nurse said to him "You are a gentleman, everyone is in love with you:look at those blue eyes." And they lit up for an instant, like they used to.
His mind is what was truly amazing, sharp as a tack. He could remember more stories than anyone in this room probably. And it kept working right up to his death. 1 day before he died he was still trying to keep track of everything.
A really important event in my father's life was WW II, when he served in the Army overseas. He enjoyed telling stories of this time; as most of us here are aware. Another thing that he really liked to do was to help people. And I can remember people often saying, "Your father is such a nice man".
His family was very special and important to him. His stories of New York and his brother Mac and his siter Lil were truly heartwarming. When I went down to Fla. to get him at the Rehab I overheard a hospital worker ask him what was something he was proud of in his life and he said, "My children". That pride and dedication to the family was something he shared with my mother, Blanche, over their 30 yrs. of marriage. And I admired how devoted he was to her during her illness & death.
Years later he was blessed to meet Betty and they enjoyed 20 happy years together. We all know he missed her terribly and often wondered why he was still here. My friend, Marilyn told him it was so that she could meet him and so that he could get to know his grandson, Luke. And perhaps it was so I could get to know him again. It was a privilege taking care of him in his later years and to be with him at his death.
I know he would've loved everyone being here because he actually spoke of who would be here a few days before he died and mentioned his nieces and nephew, Harold, Helen, and Muriel, who gave him so much support with their visits and phone calls.
I don't know if any of you every noticed but my father never said Goodbye; so Dad as you would've said, "So long for now."
Well I did fall into a soporific state immediately after that last post;I didn't even attempt the movie, headed straight to bed. In the middle of the night the damn cat woke me up and insomnia reared its ugly head and would have nothing of this tryptophan and alcohol induced sophoric state. So instead of grabbing a book on my way to the den, what do i do, of course you guessed it, headed straight for blogland. But I need my rest if I am ever going to be even remotely successful tomorrow, Black Friday. I'm determined to jump start my xmas shopping - no use fighting tradition. Well if i was a real diehard I would just head out now, it's almost 5AM. Nah I guess i'll go read.
Ok, well I'm thankful that I didn't burn the bird, tho for a few minutes I was panicing that I did. I started cooking last night; I peeled and chopped all the vegetables and thought I was in pretty good shape. This morning I stayed in bed til 10 , then got up had my coffee read the paper and started cooking around Noon. I was in pretty good shape around 2, bird in I took a shower and went for a walk with the family and dog. Got back and had a bloody mary; feeling pretty relaxed til I started panicing about The Bird. Usually it's done early and according to my estimation it shoulda been done by 4:15; when the thermomator hadn't popped by 5, I started panicing, I thought it would be like the bird in Christmas Vacation when Chevy Chase puts the fork in the bird and it just collapses in a puff of smoke. It wasnt' as bad as I thought, tho I will never again depend on that damn thermomater popping up; and it was fine, didnt taste dry at all. between the gravy and the cranberry sauce I dont know how it could. The apple pie ala mode was perfect of course(Thanks to Mrs. Smith). I will no doubt fall asleep during the movie tho. Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving.
Well Sunday was a nice day altho it started better than it ended. Started the morning with a cat and dog and a boy in my bed. The cat left pretty much immediately when he saw the hi-jinks begin. Luke likes to tease Jackson by getting in bed next to me and putting his arm over me and saying my mommy; at which Jackson responds by doing his doggie crawl up the bed and wedging himself between us. My theory is that he thinks he is the top dog (after me of course)and above Luke-since he gets to sleep in the bed and Luke is next door in his bed.
In the afternoon we went to see Harry Potter and risking alienating everyone on the planet I have to admit that I think I am getting tired of Harry Potter. The movie was ok but I think I am getting tired of the formula. I think i need a change, maybe Narnia or King Kong will do it for me. Then in the evening I decided to go food shopping for Thanksgiving, a full 3 days before usual!
Went searching for a book in this box of books from when last I moved or maybe from the move before that even. Evidently these are my "favs", the ones I couldn't throw out. And since I don't have a bookcase in this new house they never got unpacked. It's like walking down memory lane and finding old friends. There's the copy of On The Beach by Nevil Shute(60cents)-the book that scared the crap out of me in ?8th grade. Oh, here's an older one even..Portrait of Jennie (35cents -remember seeing the movie too) that one was so surreal(to a ?11 yr. old). Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (95 cents) must be headin into college now cause here are the Herman Hesse's - Demian and Steppenwolf. And one of my favorites.. The sorrows of Young Werther by Goethe. And the Awakening by Kate Chopin. Oh and here is Soul on Ice by Eldridge Cleaver from my Revolutionary Period. And my Anais Nin collection, diaries and novels. Then there are the power of positive thinking books - I guess those need to be reread. And there is The Unbearable Lightness of being and Prince of Tides. Wow I feel like I just walked into a roomful of old friends.
Well I guess I owe you guys a couple of jokes after the last two posts of mine. Have a great weekend.
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom? Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying
to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
Why is it that I am not happy. Feel like an outsider. Like it's just something impossible for me to attain. Is it me or my situation? It has been me many times in my life before, but now it is different. There are reasons, and situations and well...but I still feel like it is like a golden ring and I am on that merry- go-round for life.
I know "happiness is an elusive, sometimes fleeting thing; that happiness lies within us, but what if you are just not capable of it, it's not in your makeup. well then what? are you damned for all eternity?
Maybe I'll try the "happy pills" again; like a good friend says " there's not enof Prozac in the world" and "they should put it in the water".
so maybe then I am normal? just reacting to all the stress and crap in the world.
Feel like in (? name) Woody Allen movie when he said about being in therapy: But I'm not going to live long enough to fix everything.
I guess all we can really do is try. I can hear my son saying, " I did the best that I could do". (Now there's a healthy psyche, i hope.)
Well I've gone from being extremely happy for my friend to the Dalai Lama ( felt like I had nothing to say yesterday and felt that a post from the Dalai Lama would be better than a post from me; I guess I was on my way down(with truth or dare).... ladies lingerie, shoes,to the un-happiest post of all.
How many of us blog about what is really bothering us? or what we are really thinking about? Sometimes I want to just go back to the old pen and notebook. That place where I could hideout, where nobody would know, where I could let it all hang out, tell the truth, kick and scream and not be so self conscious. This arena seems not for the faint of heart, not the dress rehearsal but the real thing. Seems like I'm treading water these days; still need those swimmies on, still not sure whether to sink or swim. I finally made it out of my self doubt phase (well sort of) and started to feel almost comfortable out here in the deep end but those naggy self doubt cells sure can hang tough, like a virus I suppose. You think you're better and whamm....laid out flat again. Just trying to figure it all out.
This we can all bear witness to, living as we do plagued by unremitting anxiety … It becomes more and more imperative that the life of the spirit be avowed as the only firm basis upon which to establish happiness and peace.This new concept ought to be elaborated alongside the religions, in such a way that all people of good will could adhere to it. We ought to promote this concept with the help of scientists. It could lead us to what we are looking for.Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day. In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.Nowadays the world is becoming increasingly materialistic, and mankind is reaching toward the very zenith of external progress, driven by an insatiable desire for power and vast possessions. Yet by this vain striving for perfection in a world where everything is relative, they wander even further away from inward peace and happiness of the mind.My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.I believe deeply that we must find, all of us together, a new spirituality.My message is the practice of compassion, love and kindness. Compassion can be put into practice if one recognizes the fact that every human being is a member of humanity and the human family regardless of differences in religion, culture, color and creed. Deep down there is no difference.Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace.In Buddhism we have relative truth and absolute truth.If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
Drum roll please...^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Patry Francis of the Marvelous Garden has a book deal!!!!! This is just too good for words. It's just the best thing, no she is the best thing!!! I hope they know how lucky they are to get her!!! Congratualtions Patry, you deserve it, you're the best!
1)No gardening
2)No flowers
3)No cookouts
4)It's too damn cold outside
5)It's cold inside
6)It gets dark so early
7)You can't hang outside
8)short walks if any at all
0)I turn from a night owl to a hibernating bear
10)Ready for bed at 7:30
11)Go to bed as early as 9:00 sometimes
12)Not much is getting done
13)shoveling
14)scraping windshields
15)waiting for freezing cold cars to start
16)can't play in the backyard with dog and boy
17)can't go to the beach, well you can but why?
18)can't sit and read and eat at the beach
19)can't take boy & dog to the beach
20)can't go out for icecream
21) no tan
22)no garden tomatoes
23)no fresh basil
24)no warm sand
25)no watermelon
26)no lemonade
27) no free concerts
28) no corn on the cob
29) heating bills
30)icy roads
31)colds
32)flu
33)sore throats
34)chapped lips
35)dry hands
36)cold fingers
37)cold toes
38) can't wear shorts
39) can't wear flip-flops
40) can't bike
41) can't go out without putting on tons of clothes
42) no walks with the dog
43) no throwing the ball in the backyard
44) no road trips
45) no fishing
46) no baseball
47) no minature golf
48) no boating
49) no picnics
50) no warmth
2 reasons to like winter:
1) curling up with a good book (or someone)
2) fires in the fireplace
Feel free to add to whichever list you choose.
Footnote: I've got to admit after adding the picture to the post, the snow is pretty damn pretty. I do like it better after it snows.
Well, my day did not go as planned. Thought I would run off and shop for awhile. My son needed a ride over a friend's so I dropped him off and was going to go to the transfer station (dump) in hopes of finding some treasure or book(s) but when I realized that I had gone the wrong way I decided to go to a nursery for some potting soil and to look for an orchid that I wanted to buy for my kitchen window. I pulled into the parking lot of the place and stopped while deciding where to park; well this Big vehicle decided to plow into me. I saw it coming but couldn't do anything about it. I jumped out the car and said, "Didn't you see me?". The woman in the other car said, "I didn't even see you". And then she thought to add," you must've zoomed in here cause I looked and I didn't see you. I said, "well I was there and I didn't zoom". I wanted to zoom pow her to the moon tho.(i know peace,love,joy). Her Big vehicle did a number on my big vehicle, but only scratched her bumper. So now begins the pain in the butt procedure. Went home (without my prized orchid) and called the insurance co. Then since it was such an unseasonably nice day I decided to finish painting the side porch railings(which is a project that has been going on for months). Of course the only reason I chose to do this was so that I got out of vacuuming. I really should have central vac. cause my vacuum has been in my living room for at least a week now. I am going to finish vacuuming that sofa one of these days really and put it back together so that i can vacuum the rugs some day too. This is what I get for vacuuming the damn sofa anyway( not something I usually do). Well I guess I'll go get cleaned up and go out for dinner cause no one cooks around here either.
I made plans to go out saturday night and actually went out. Usually I renig at the last minute, too tired, don't want to leave my son alone. But since it wasn't too cold I decided that since I will probably be hibernating for the rest of the winter that I would go out. So I put on the war paint and tried to do something with the unruly hair, just added a little gel and said goodbye to the boy, happily watching football. My friend left her car here and I drove; when we got to the restaurant I realized that I hadn't taken my cell phone, moment of panic, what if he tries to call? My friend had her's so I called but no answer, he can't hear the phone out in the sunroom, I should've left the cordless out there; I leave a message with her phone number and uneasely order a drink. People from my work arrived and the band started playing some nice acoustic R&R. We stayed for about an hour and a half, just long enof for a drink, some chat and so I could say I went out this time. Next time I won't forget my phone.
Hey I reached my 100th post, without really trying;it passed un-noticed by anyone,even me. (I actually realized it when I went looking for a saved draft and had to change the 50 to 100 in the show posts area and saw that the 1st one was not the first one and that I had to hit 300 to get to the beginning.)
I never woulda thought or bet money on I my ever getting here, but I'm glad that I did. I can barely remember life before blogging; what did I do with all my time? was my house cleaner? bills paid? food on the table? laundry folded? Well the 100th post was "certifiable" - which is very aprepro and I think sums up my blog & I fairly well.
The post that started this all was You can never go home which along with "tour of the old homestead" and "red headed neighbor lady" also at the beginning, and the sequels to the first, are still my favorites. So I guess I will keep "bloggin like the doodah man" and see if I have what it takes to hit 300. Then what happens?
Because you've been good..... 2 jokes this week:
(I can't believe I'm actually telling clean jokes- these are not what I'm famous for)
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)answered, "Thou shall not kill."
Okay, now I know I really need my head examined.. .. I bought my son a drum set recently. What was I thinking? obviously I wasn't. But it was worth it, he seems so excited, really into it. After his Red Sox lost the playoffs he was preety sad. He went downstair and played his drums. When he came back up he said, "Mom,the drums are a preety good stress releaser". (Hey, maybe I should go down and try them). I guess I'm glad i bought them. We'll see in a couple of years ,when there's a gang of teenage boys and girls hanging round my house, if I still feel that way.
I think (no - I know) I am becoming obsessed with site meter. It seems I am more interested in who's been here, where they're from, how they got here and how long they stayed. Please tell me you do this too.
And I just love looking at that map thing, seeing all the lites from all over the world. But then this is coming from someone who thought having a penpal was just about the coolest thing (next to my stamp collection),that was before I got into baton twirling and boys. My favorite thing about it is seeing the search engine words for how they found me. I'd venture to guess 9 out of 10 times, i wasn't what they were expecting.
I hate it when I can't remember an idea. Didn't i write that down? Those fleeting ideas/inspirations, gone - poof- up in smoke. Then today in the car, driving from one office to another, inspiration hits and I'm diggin in my pocketbook for a pen as a Semi goes flyin by and my life passes before my eyes and I think,"my poor motherless boy". But still I take the chance and write on an envelope I've pulled from my pocketbook and write on the steering wheel - I'm certifiable aren't I? Ok I am definitely blog obsessed now - picturing myself at one of those 12 step programs. Hi, my name is rdl, I'm a blogaholic, I can't stop blogging.
I've been wanting to get one of those palm pilots because I am just so sick of all my lists, all those scraps of paper that I can never find and that I endlessly write the same things over and over. I thought just think how much time I would save if i could just have it saved on my palm pilot. Definitely putting it on my xmas list. But then I think maybe I should just get one of those mini casette players that you talk into - then i'd be certifiable for sure.
I don't watch TV much, usually one show a season. Raymond was last year's show, before that was Malcolm in the Middle, Seinfeld. Last year I got into watching American Idol with my son(it kinda reminded me of watching the Ed Sullivan show with my parents). I started off liking the English dude,Simon, cause he was so sarcastic (it was funny); but by the end of show (I hate to admit it) I was actually voting. I started watching the show that came on right after-House and got hooked on it. The main character is kind of a curmudgeon. So right now that is this years "show". The rest of the time I'm usually here, at my new TV, surfing the net with my mouse instead of clicker and sometimes feeling like i could almost fall asleep, justlike in front of the TV.
A couple of times this week I've had patients ask me, "how long you been doing this?". After a pregnant pause I deadpan, "too long". They laugh and I go on with the exam; most of the time I think they ask me because of my professionalism, because it seems like I know what the hell I'm doing but other times I wonder if they catch on that I am bored to tears and just going through the motions. I always joke with co-workers that they could train monkeys to do our job but actually I take for granted all the knowledge and just plain hands on experience that we do have, knowing what to do in a given situation and just plain knowing how to handle people. People who can be rude, people who can be irritating, people who can be just plain, well nevermind; and then there are those who are nervous, anxious and scared. We have to hand hold, reassure, and conjole. Another thing they always ask is, " what's the doctor going to do?" or they say, "You could be the Dr." to which I sometimes say, "I'm the poster child for Stay in school".
Last nite when I was peacefully sleeping (actually very early this morning), my 14 yr. old Mean Coon cat, Dakota, scratched me in the face - on the cheek. I woke up screaming, clutching my face; at which point everyone in the house was up and running. Usually it is a charlie horse that elicits this cry of pain in the middle of the nite.
I was just grateful that he didn't get me in the eye this time. Yes this is his 2nd transgression, and at the risk of irritating cat lovers and activists out there, if he's not careful he's going to get the gas pipe. This is why I am a dog lover; a dog would never do this.
Reasons not to mess with children:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow
a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated,the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human;it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get
to heaven I will ask Jonah".The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
Dreamt about my son last nite. I was moving into a house down a long dirt road. I was to have a room in this couples house,don't know who they were,but they were taking me in. I was having the road paved for them(?) Then i decided to go back home, remember the feeling of being lost not settled lonely in this new house.(isn't that wild? dreaming about how you feel). I was also trying to get home to my son cause he was home alone all day. when i called him it was night and he hadn't eaten dinner. Then there was a picture of him sitting in the ice cream shop on the vineyard(where we were this summer) on the front page of a newspaper, and the article was something about how I was a bad mother for not feeding him i think. Boy guilt finds you even in your sleep. (my interpretation- troubled by my home life)
Had another the next nite, he was going to cross this really busy street and it looked really dangerous and I screamed at him not to. ( Guess I don't want him to grow up? or my fear of losing him)
Then I had one about my father ( who died last Nov. - wow i just realized it's almost a yr. doesnt feel that way, seems like it just happended).
He was alive (this seems to be a reoccuring dream - I remember I had these about my mother also). He had been living someplace else, didn't want me to take care of him.
I guess this is another guilt dream - since i went home from the nursing facility the night that he died after being there all day and always feel now that i should've stayed; tho at the time i felt like a child who just wanted to go home.
(I actually wrote this a couple of weeks ago, was cleaning out my draft folder and just couldn't delete it).
Any dream analysts out there?
Ok I'm over it now. I'm facing the fact that I ain't gonna write the next great American novel; I'll leave that for my best friend to do. I practiced the piano tonite tho, never too late to work on my next career... lounge lizard. And as for the writing I think I'll stick with poetry , i like all that raw emotion and writing from the hip. I don't know if I could handle plots and outlines, sounds like work and when it comes to work I am a card carrying member of the Maynard G. Krebs club, anyone remember him? or am I showing my age again. He was a character on the show Dobie Gillis: I've forgotten his real name ( was it Bob Denver? - or am I totally out in left field?) well he was Gilligan anyway. And speaking of TV, maybe I'll start watching Desperate Housewives or ?? what are some of those shows everyone is always talking about in the lunchroom. Maybe I'll just go watch some TV right now.
Footnote: Just as I finished typing this the power went out for a couple of hrs. Ya think it's some kind of sign? Guess I'll go read before bed like i should.
Feel like when I was six and had whooping cough; everyone else was out playing and I wasn't. Now I wanna be nanowrimoing too! But alas I have no plot, no characters, no nothing. I just hope there's still someone left on the blogground for us baby bloggers to play with.
Wannabee is not a good place to be. But that's what you get when you never make up your mind. Dilitante is the nice way to say it but it still amounts to the same thing. yea i have a creative "spirit" (whatever the hell that means - wannabee, that's what it means. My favorite people are artists, writers and musicians and I want to be one too. I've had a lifetime of dabbling, non-committal to a fault. When I was a kid I dabbled at music- piano; and was preety damn good(so my teacher said) - my mother bought me a baby grand when i was 13 and I stopped playing when I was 14. I took photography in college and I was preety damn good at that too, or so I was told, encouraged by a "real photographer". I let that fall by the wayside too. The piano playing fell by the wayside when I discovered dating, which started a long tradition of throwing things out the window for men. But in my defense I was also baton twirling and in an Adult Theatre group. Dabbling and spreading self too thin.
Then in college, well drugs definitely got in the way. The writing well that started in college - probably after passing the pipe. I still have a copy of the 1st poem I ever wrote. The handwriting even looks different than mine does now - childish.
And I've always been attracted to the artistic types and the tall, dark and handsome types (oh that's another post now isn't it). Well I guess I'm done whining - reminds me of a joke - i'll save that for Friday.
I was listed on Follow That Star's blog as a Rising Star- what a thrill that was. Please visit this most interesting and entertaining blog.
I will be starting a new set of links - Art sites
Some really fine artwork can be seen at Mary Sheehan Winn's Fine Art
I recently received a copy of Queen's Quarterly, which looks to be an interesting read. I found it online and if you visit you can sign up to receive a free copy of the publication.
And FYI: Recently on trip to Borders' we signed up for webspecial coupons and now receive coupons for 20,25 or 30% off of books and CD's. The other day when we were there and was going to purchase a book, I mentioned to the clerk that I forgot to print my coupon and he had one there that he scanned for me. When i got my receipt there was a coupon for 20%.
I think I've finally gotten over taking showers when no one is home. I don't know if I would feel that way if I didn't have my black lab guarding the door for me tho.
No day of rest here. We made it to the playoffs. I am cleaning frantically before we head off for a town I never heard of at least an hour from here, if I don't get lost like I usually do. I'm sorry that I bored all of you with my long list of ailments yesterday. Feeling much better after my 8 hrs. of sleep, so this is what you're supposed to feel like. Well we lost the game but they put up a good fight. The old adage about winning and losing and how you play the game definitely rang true today. Well since I didn't get my day of rest hopefully I'll get a night of rest.
Saturday Night Dead would be more accurate. Too tired to blog really but I seem determined to finish my days of the weeks posts (and no I never had a set of those underwear). I had the worse night's sleep last night. I really need to have the animals sleep downstairs I think. A girl at work today told me that she read that people with pets get less sleep than those poor petless people.
Sleep deprivation seems to be reaching new levels here. Seems I can actually function (albeit poorly) on 4 hrs. Went to bed at 11:30 last nite and woke up around 3:30. I think it was when I tried to staighten out my legs and encountered my 90 lb black lab's body at the foot of the bed. But in all honesty it coulda been a hot flash that woke me, they are responsible for waking me countless times during the night. Then my 14 yr. old Maine Coon Cat usually gets in the act around this time of night when he decides he needs food because the 90lb black lab, Jackson, has eaten his food all day. I have to keep Dakota's( the cat) food in the bathroom and let him in & out all day. This is what I do when I am not letting the dog in and out of the backdoor, i mean out, I forgot he let's himself in (that's another post).
So anyway the cat is usually crying and I go feed him in the upstairs bathroom and get back in bed, then he comes crying to get in the bed and he settles down next to me and if I'm lucky I fall back to sleep(if I don't have something on my mind that is). Basically they drive me crazy all day and all night. Then last night the sciatica decided to act up and I lay there feeling that awful naggy pain shootin down my butt & leg. Oh did I mention the acid reflux (this is a new one, i never had that, i can eat hot food no problem but it could be from the mega ibuprofens i was taking for my bursitis in my shoulder or just generalilzed stress. I am a complete mess it seems. Honestly I am not a hypochondriac.
So just when I was fallin off to sleep about 7, the alarm goes off and I drag myself to work via Dunkin Donuts (don't know where i would be without them). I am exhausted from writing this. I'm going to bed! I mean sleep!
Well I started the week with Manic Monday, followed by Terrible Tuesday, skipped humpday (wednesday) played instead and Thurs.I managed to change the template of my blog "all my myself", got rid of that awful white print and posted a saved draft about my favorite subject. Wish I was more computer savvy and could really change things but I will have to settle for just being able to get my links back for now. Anyway, I thought I would end the week with a joke(I used to know a few from when I was a bartender and then there are the ones I get sent- i'll see what I can come up with) and maybe start a new tradition here, I hope I don't offend anyone.
A recently divorced woman spent the day packing her belongings into boxes,crates, and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar,and abottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead
rodents and the carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung
everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during
which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to
work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench
any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut
their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return
their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank
to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things
were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the
moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING. DON'T YOU?
Last Saturday was a bad day for yard sales in New England;it was rainy and dreary. They've become like a tradition with us and since the season is just about over we went anyway. Nothing was found or bought but a good day for an adventure.
When we got to one yard sale there was a man in wheelchair struggling to get up the long drive. I asked him if I could help and he said yes, so I pushed him up the drive to the garage. I glanced at Luke ,taking up the rear and taking it all in, and I thought: Lessons learned not taught.
Next stop to get pumpkins. We do spend alot of time laughing at each other,especially in the car when I'm dancing to rap music. Luke thinks I'm a riot or idiot, I'm not sure. He complained that I have kidnapped him and I tell him " Yup I have". 1 for Mom.
I wasn't actually tagged on this one,I found it on FTS blog inviting anyone who wants to play. I volunteered because I like to play and this one was easy and well I guess I already have cabin fever and I don't have anything else ready to post, if the truth be known. So anyone else who wants to play, please do.
Fill in the blank:
Feeling _____ (stressed.)
Listening to _____ (Rock & Roll - Dave Matthews and Sarah Macclaughlin
Am currently working on _____ (my blog, what else.)
Spent last night _____ (surfing blogs.)
Had breakfast of _____ (coffee and bagel.)
Missing _____ (my dad.)
Thinking of _____ (too much.)
Would love to _____ (be on an Island.)
Planning to _____ (keep on truckin.)
Wanting to _____ (be on an Island.)
Favourite time of the day is _____ (evening/quiet)
Really hate _____ ( prejudiced people)
Always wanted to play _____ (piano better or bass)
Dreaming of an _____ (island.)
Would love to French kiss _____ (don't know)
A dream come true is when _____ (I look out my window and see the ocean.)
It is so cold in my house that I haven't taken my coat off and I've been home for over an hour. Raw, cold, gloomy weather we are having. Ya gotta love New England, or why else would you live here? I say that all the time, I don't know why we live here? And I don't know the answer other than maybe you were born here and have relatives here. The winters are long and cold and the summers short, hot and humid. Spring & Fall rainy. I don't know if I am going to post all week like this but it reminds me of what we say in our family about child developement: The terrible twos, the horrible threes followed by the fearsome fours. When they hit five ( the age of reason) they start Kindegarten and start learning something about The Rules and the consequences. I think I need to get outside, uh-oh I already have cabin fever and it's not even Halloween.
I pulled myself out of bed today and dragged myself to work. My back hurt, felt kind of out, like it gets from time to time. I was tired from my usual lack of sleep and just plain not in a good mood. I felt physical, psychologically and emotional a little spent from all the drama on the homefront.
I was awfully glad to see all the junk food there: donuts and coffee cake, just what I needed- some sugar to go with my coffee to keep me going to lunchtime.
After lunch ,when I called in yet another patient to work up, I was a little surprised by what I saw. I've worked in the health care field for almost 20 years; everytime I have thought I've seen or heard it all something else has come along to further surprise me. The patient walking towards me was walking on metal artificial limbs, when he got into the room and sat in the exam chair I noticed that he had only one deformed hand showing, the other arm was hidden within the sleeve of his sweatshirt. On top of all this he suffered from psychosis, it said in his record. He came without much medical history and I couldn't imagine how all this had happened to him. But it did make me feel bad about all my complaining earlier.
Been too busy blog hopping and drafting of late to post anything. Growing up in NJ we used to call the comics in the Sun. paper "the funnies". It was the first and sometimes only thing I read and sometimes still is.
Happy Happy Joy Joy is an expression that I picked up from a friend of mine. We usually use it when we don't like whats going on, so i guess that doesn't count cause it's sarcasm. But I do think that we are reminding ourselves to "Be happy/joyful despite what is bringing us down. Remember that song "Be happy don't worry be happy", that was so catchy? It's playing in my head as I write this. Thanks Melly for tagging me and reminding me to look for the Joy.
I did a search of my blog for the word Joy- No Joy :( . There is also no happiness, delight, amusement or pleasure. This did not make me happy. But there was Happy. The first post with happy in it is my Happy Fourth of July post which is just the title and a picture of the Statue of Liberty that I took last April Vacation whenI was happily visiting NY with my son.
From my You say it's your birthday.... : Do whatever makes you happy! Dance in yr. b-day suit. Drink champagne for breakfast. Celebrate all day, all week, all month if you can get away with it. I'm gonna try.
(But I was definitely not happy when those yellowjackets charged me.)
From http://rlaban.blogspot.com/2005/07/baton-twirler-vs-bookworm_31.html : Just a picture of contradictions I am:Leo/Aquarius, the batontwirler/the bookworm, happy/sad.
(Yin/Yang)
From http://rlaban.blogspot.com/2005/07/meme-meme-meme.html ( my first tag).
Question number 4: If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?1. To see my son grow up and love what he does and have children.2. To have a job/career that I love; ie: be an artist (writer, musician or photographer). 3. Be happy
(If it only could be so easy)
So now let's see I am just tagging Patry :http://simplywait.blogspot.com/and Jeanettehttp://musingsofamiddle-agedwoman.blogspot.com/ if they want and anyone else who wants to.
By the way i can't seem to remember how to get these hyperlinks to just have the person's name or the post that I want to link to without having the entire url. See rules below.
THE SEARCH FOR JOY
Search your blog for the word "“joy" used in the context of "“happiness."” If you cannot find the word in your weblog, you may use any of the select list of synonyms below.
joy --— amusement, bliss, cheer, comfort, delectation, delight, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, exultation, exulting, felicity, gaiety, gladness, glee, good humor, gratification, happiness, hilarity, humor, jubilance, liveliness, merriment, mirth, pleasure, rapture, regalement, rejoicing, revelry, satisfaction, wonder
If your weblog does not include a built-in search engine, then you can use Google to search it only for the word you wish to find.
If you’ve found the word and it was not used facetiously or sarcastically, good for you. All you need to do is link to your earlier entry, and write a few words about that joyous moment. If, however, you have no joy (whole words only) in your weblog, you must dig deep in your soul and find something wonderful in your life right now. One little thing that fills you with warmth, that bubbles you over with quiet happiness, or tickles you with its good-hearted hilarity, or makes you glad you just took a breath, and are getting ready to take another. It doesn't have to be anything big. A smile someone gave you; your cat on your shoulder; the way the light angles through your window and casts rainbows on your floor. All it has to be is something genuine, something real, something that matters to you.
Because we all need joy in our lives, and need to take the time -- from time to time --— to recognize it. And sometimes, we need to pass it on.
Even if we're a big pain in the ass when we do.
When you'’ve dealt with your own joy, pass the quest on to five other bloggers.
http://www.blogger.com/:
The wedding was nice, if you like weddings. I don't particularly and I don't know when this changed because I think I used to. I vaguely remember crying at them and smiling at the loving couple.
The dinner the night before was delicious and fun ; the restaurant overlooked the city - loved all the lights. Instead of getting my usual white wine I decided I wanted a festive cocktail; so after a little thought I came up with an Apple Martini. The waiter came back and informed me that they weren't making "martini's". I just said "Oh, well I saw someone drinking a Margarita?", at which he said," Do you want one of those?" but I didn't and I couldn't come up with anything else quickly so I just said "I'll have a chardonnay". Well much to my surprise the cute little waiter ( my new best friend) came back with the "Apple Martini". I think it was the best drink I've ever had. I only had the one and switched to red wine to go with the Filet Mignon. Unfortunately I found Apple Martini's and red wine don't go well, shoulda stuck with my usual white.
The best part of the wedding was the dancing and watching my 11 yr. old son learn some pretty wild dance moves from his crazy uncle. As for the LBD, I did find one that I fell in love with but the sticker shock prevented me from purchasing it. After much searching I found a real beauty on the sale rack and even found an incredible pair of shoes at payless that matched to a tee. The dress was this chocolate brown with tasteful beading and sequins and an equally tasteful sheer neckline and plunging back. Since brown seems to be the hot color right now I was so impressed that I was actually in style. The only problem was when I got to the wedding I saw that chocolate brown was the color that the bridesmaids were wearing. My stepdaughter joked that I looked like the mother of the bride in that dress but the mother of the bride had a completely different outfit of course. When I was in the ladies room, someone that I had met complimented me on the dress and then actually asked me if I color coordinated with the wedding. I wanted to scream, " are you completely insane?" If I had known I never woulda bought the sale dress but the cute LBD.
The best part of the trip was seeing my old friend even if just in between dinners and wedding. The 12 hr. ride home I could've done without. I never did get to explore 'my' new IBook; Luke was watching movies on it. Lots of people this weekend raved about the movie "Wedding Crashers", I will have to rent it now that the wedding trip is over.
Recently I read a post about not liking to vacation. Well I hate to pack and have even had nightmares about it: missing planes, trying to pack all this stuff(like boxes and boxes of books/shoes,etc.- but maybe that's the moving dream I have mixed up here). And I also always forget things in the dreams and real life. Usually hair products/make up in the dreams. This trip we got about a mile or two when I remembered what I'd forgotten and yelled, "I forgot my "jewelry"; we turned back and I got it and of course I grabbed a couple other things while I made my mad dash through the house. We don't always turn back tho; like when we are 1/2 way to Logan airport in Boston and I remember that I forgot my sunglasses - just buy a cheap pair when you get there.
I've also noticed that I have turned into a hypochondriac when I go away; packing bandaids, eye drops, ibuprofen, old Rx's just in case my back goes out.
But usually when I get there I'm enthralled and ready to move. Anyplace seems better than home with the mundane,problems and all.
ok did i actually read that Jack Kerouac book? or am i thinking of Wllie Nelson's singing "on the road again". ok all you book aficionados: who wrote "Been down so long looks like up to me"? (answer at the end of post) i'll give you time to think or google.
Leaving tomorrow on a road trip to Pittsburgh til Sun. Should take about 12 hrs. I don't know which I hate more long road trips or flying.Going to a family wedding(not my family) and bringing the kids (g-d help me). But at the end of the rainbow there is a good friend waiting. Happens that one of my very dear old (have to be careful bout using that word now - but i mean we go way back) friends lives there and have wanted to visit her for ages so now i will; in between the dinners and wedding. So I am going to plug in that laptop that has been gathering dust and maybe get used to it on the road.
Wish i could write it upside down.. but... it's Richard Farina. I wonder how many actually knew that.
Watched Field of Dreams tonite with my 11 yr. old son. I vaguely remember seeing it years ago and thinking it was a little "hokey" for my taste. But watching it tonite with my son reminded me that sometimes the magic works. He was totally into it, wanting to believe and enjoying every magically moment. It showed me how totally jaded us grown ups can be, not to be able to believe anymore. It was nice to just sit back and let the magic happen.
Hit the yard sales last sat. morning with my son. Arlo Guthrie was playing on the radio as we pulled out of the driveway; doing the long story before the song about the pickle and the motorcickle; was so glad when L. found it amusing too. We spent $2.65; L. purchased a Red Sox collectors baseball with a picture of Fenway Park all over it for $2. The asking price was $4, when we declined the kid selling it dropped the price 1/2 and he even offered to go get the plastic case for it that was in his room. Someone should give that kid a lesson on marketing. If it had been in the plastic case we might have payed his asking price. Then at the next yard sale I found a book that I've wanted to read, Cheat and Charmer by Elizabeth Frank, for a quarter! The hardcover edition that I saw at Borders a few months back but couldn't afford the sticker price. Books and baseballs, life is good.
Saturday I started the day off with my 11 yr. old son telling me " no eating upstairs" ( my mantra), I said ok and he took the plastic bowl of roasted soybeans (which we don't even like, but better than eating chips) downstairs; well almost, he spilled them all over the stairs. We both cleaned them up,the dog did too( he liked them ).
I ended the day spilling my wine all over the desk while I was trying desperately to figure out why I couldn't get online(I'm not addicted). After plugging and unplugging everything it seems to be up and running, altho on refection I should have just shutdown, sat down( with the wine and my book) and called it a day. Moral of the story: Don't cry over spilt soybeans but you can over spilt wine.
when you reach up and find a pair of reading glasses on top of your head while you are wearing a pair with one side thing missing(what is that part of the glasses called again?). And there's another way that you know- you forget what things are called and where things are or where you put them. I don't lose my car on a regular basis I just plain never remember where I parked it(this happens at the Mall or supermarket usually). And then there is this - I have to go back and retrace my steps (walk back upstairs) to remember why I went downstairs in the first place. So what's next? I did go and buy 2 more pairs of glasses so I threw out that broken pair. Now I have a pair on the nightstand, here at the computer desk, downstairs in the kitchen, in my pocketbook and in my labcoat. I guess next I can get one of those string things and wear them around my neck .
Ok so what is this a blog about blogging? Have I bored everyone to tears yet? Have I managed to chase away the few people that actually frequented this site? One day she threatens quitting, the next she's back singing a ditty. I guess those guys residing on my shoulders intend to fight to the death. I need to get some new material for those guys then, maybe a few jokes. And what will I write about when I stop beating the blog thing to death? Okay I could start with those saved drafts, maybe tomorrow.
Staring at this screen, typing on these keys. Writing a post or reading a post. Commenting on someone's blog or reading one of mine. Of course I still have my doubts about why I am even doing this, for what purpose. But then the guy on the other shoulder pipes in,"Does everything have to have a purpose, can't you just enjoy it, get on with it." To which the 1st guy chimes in sarcastically,"yea, there is a purpose, a purpose on to heaven". Well i've been struggling with that one for many years so wasting/spending a little time on here shouldn't matter at all.
How blog obsessed am I really? I promised myself last night when the clock was ticking towards midnight, and I was still reading posts and comments, that I wasn't going to blog this morning, and here I am even before coffee. I decided to conduct a test of how many times I do come back to this darn computer during the course of my supposed getting things done. It is now 10:25 (an unusually late start for me, but I am sleep deprived and it's my day off.) I've gotten dressed - pulled on some jeans and still wearing sleep t-shirt. I remember I wanted to send off a quick email to friend. Finally to the coffee which I need badly if I'm ever going to get going here. I'm feeling like one of those little kids, in the backseat of a car,whose parents challenge them not to talk for 5 min.
A friend called and I talked on the phone while I drank my coffee. Then I found an excuse to go back online - I discovered a credit card payment due by 1:00 PM today or lots of fees, 0% rate and goes up to g-d knows what; very good excuse to go back on but the computer's running extremely slow and I have to sign up for this online payment - managed to beat the clock and got it done with 20 min. to spare. Checked email, fired off one and now it's time for those damn bathrooms - I'm going in, it's 1:40.
I lied I still haven't done them. Found another overdue bill, so I went back on under the pretext of paying the bill, which I did, but of course I cruised a few blogs/comments. Well I am making myself a promise(year right, I know another one from the world class promise breaker) I will not get back on here until I'm done cleaning. Note- someday I am going to have a cleaning lady, then what will I procrastinate about. Well there is always the paperwork. And I wonder why it never looks like anything got done at the end of the day.
Watching the Dylan special was great except for seeing how old he looks. I liked the clips of him when he was young better. The thing I really liked was what Liam Clancy said to him one nite in a bar after about 100 pints of Guiness. "Never forget Bob, no fear, no envy, no meaness."
I'm a lover of words, is there a word for that? but then I am a lover of music too and art and photography and film. Words like music are fascinating because of the endless possibilities. I don't dabble in art so I don't know about that and in photography I guess there are the endless opportunities,finding the light just right, framing your subject just right and of course taking that picture that tells a thousand words. So there are book lovers, music lovers, art lovers,film lovers, poetry lovers(tho there seems to be more poetry haters from what i read in the blogosphere), blog lovers (from what i hear) and just plain lovers of words.
Discovered the other nite that my 11 yr. old son and i have another song in common, smoke on water by Deep purple. If you don't know it, you would if i hummed a few bars. It's scary that we have the same taste in music. From rap to reggae and back to the oldies. Today he asked me if he could borrow my Police CD. But then I do remember watchin, what the heck was that show with the bubble machine? Lawrence Welk with my mother, remember the polkas. Ok i realize I just made myself ancient history. But then I did see the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. I saw Bruce Springsteen in a small theatre right after his 1st album, Greetings from Asbury Park. And I saw Bonnie Raitt in a small club in NYC before her first album came out, she opened for John Lee Hooker. Boom Boom Boom Boom. Oh yeah and I saw The Who and BB King at the Filmore East. I would've loved to see the Stones this summer if tickets weren't the price of a car payment.
Ok I will admit it,this is another one of my ploys to attract readers. And we all know that the title is not true. I remember once a waitress that i worked with saying, "Lobster is better than sex..you always know it's gonna be good." and then i bet there are tons of chocoholics who would testify to chocolate being better than....but blogging? well but...there's always someone to blog with, you don't ever have to fake blogging and if it's not a good blog well there's always another.
sounds like a good blog joke to me.
To the tune of Truckin by the Grateful Dead
Bloggin
like the doodah man
i keep bloggin
got keep bloggin along
well i'm back by popular demand. Joke. Ok i gotta admit, when i am ready to quit is when no one has been by to check in, check me out, whatever. But give me a couple of visitors and I'm ready for round 4. Except when i come across a really exceptional blog: you know the ones with thousands of hits,loads of comments and brillant words, then i am ready to do the ostrich thing again. Well lets just call this baby bloggin, ya know, baby steps, just one step, one word at a time.
got a keep bloggin along.
Giving up blogging til i get the weeding done, the checkbook balanced, the bills paid/paperwork done,the school and activities schedules figured out, the bathrooms cleaned, and everything else i've forgotten or avoided. This was a saved draft of reasons to stop; but now i have a new one to add. Unless i am writing this for myself, no one reads this drivel except a couple of old friends and a couple of cyber friends and then those occasional search engine people looking for bedroom eyes.
Blogging is just the newest and greatest form of time wasting for me because you can say you need it for your underfed creative soul or to work on your chops and to hell with the dirty bathrooms.
Remember that song? guess I'm dating myself now. It was kinda catchy (sorry I really didn't mean that as a pun). My poison ivy is not going away;looks like 3rd degree burns with those blister bubbles. Started steroids 3 days ago and it still looks like the poison ivy is winning. I was told the steroids can make you loopy, and i said,"what loopier?". Then i started worrying about my state of mind which already is not good these days; i didn't know if loopy would be a good to add to the mix. But i think steroids just act like caffeine . It's time for me to get a dose of both. Just wondering if anyone out there ever burst the blister/bubbles before I try it.
If books arent' selling as I have heard, how come there is always a line at Borders. What about the price of books? Maybe that has something to do with it. Who can afford them at these prices. I was so excited when i found an old fashioned small version of the Shreve book that i wanted to read on vacation - The Last time they met. Working people books . Sure those bigger versions are nice,but I don't want to marry the book I just want to read it, and i'd rather get two books.
I just figured out how to work site meter. I'm wondering if anybody else does this? click on all the visit info on the people that have visited your site. Its interesting to see where they're from and how they found you. The most popular way thus far of locating my blog it seems is from a search engine of bedroom eyes, which brings up the blog post(May19th) of a poem I wrote many years ago. I'm sure they are disappointed when they find it; i can only imagine what they were looking or hoping for. Interesting marketing tool tho; if i were trying to attract a larger readership I could just make sure all the titles either had a body part or something erotic in the title. Hmmm... well not to disappoint I included this picture - the best I could come up with.
Well, with the hurricane and the hurricane victims and the stories of the hurricane and the victims and the controversay over whose fault it is and how did something like this even happen in the richest country of the world it's hard to think or write about anything else. Then there are the problems right in your own backyard that are too devastating themselves to talk about. I guess i'll be back when i can figure it all out and put one word in front of another.
Well it seems our illustrious President(synonymous with jackass) has proven his total ineffectiveness/uselessness once again. where was he and what was he doing during the first 48 hrs. of this disaster. On vacation I think i heard. well he should've gotten his ass back to his House for an emergency meeting. The response seemed so slow, so inadequate. Pictures are frighteningly eerie of a 3rd world country - but I guess it is just like one now .
It's amazing how quick he was able to bomb Iraq and muster all that strength. Too bad he couldn't amass those forces for good to save people's lives.
http://www.flickr.com/people/lotuslynn/
I'm not a regular to prayer but I can see why people are. My thoughts and prayers are with the victims in New Orleans and Iraq. Always feel at a loss at times like this; wish I could go help.
What is it about the comments feature on these blogs. Although I regularly say I am going to give this new hobby/habit up and go clean the bathrooms, I continue to do it. I guess it fills a need, a void; a need to be creative/ a need to be heard. So i guess that is why when you see that someone has left a comment it is so nice, makes you happy, even makes you smile sometimes.
Every morning when i drag myself from bed and into work, i swear that i'm going to go to bed as soon as i get home. Then i get home and i muster up enough energy to get a few things done. Then it's usually time to drive my son to the sport practice of the season. And then it's the worse time of day... dinner time. Once that dilemma is solved, i usually get my second wind and start sweeping the floors, wish i oddly find therapeutic and which i usually do on a daily basis (with a cat and a dog). Then when everyone else goes to bed and i have the place to myself it is far too tempting to stay up. So that is why i am chronically sleep deprived. For some reason i just don't like to go to bed. Anyone else have this problem?
Yes I know that's not a word but I think it should be. Ive said this before, haven't I? You know, the constant state of being overwhelmed. Laundry, cat box, bills, toilets, dust, paper, vacuum, weed, paint, projects,etc. Not enof time in the day, what with having to work and drive the kids to their activities and social engagements. Oh and I forgot, shop, cook, clean up. I always say I could stay up all nite and still not get everything done. For us wannabee perfectionists that is disheartening news - everything will never be in it's place, laundry done, folded, put away. I did skip iron, however; I gave that up years ago.
Just looked up overwhelmed in the dictionary: surge over and submerge, engulf. to over come completely either physically or emotionally. but on a positive note you can be overwhelmed by the enthusiastic reception. One can only hope.
Living with a teenager is hell, especialy if you are the evil stepmom. It's round 3 maybe 4 or 5 of the custody thing between her mom and dad (she's decided she wants to live with us but there is the issue of her finishing her Sr.year there.
At the age of 4 my stepdaughter was in 2 weddings, her mom's and her dad's. I remember one night when I was watching her and we were having dinner, just the two of us, and she said to me calmly, " you're not marrying my Dad, you're marrying L. And my dad's marrying my mom. It's not that she didn't like us then(me and her future stepdad), she just wanted her parents together. When we moved to our second house I don't remember why or what precipitated it but I remember saying to her, you still wish they were together and she said "yes" and we talked about that for a little bit.
I just thought of something, lest I appear the protagonist; her mother and father were not married and not even together any more when we met. Just wanted to clarify that point as not to appear the housewrecker.
Just can't wait for the dust to settle over here.
Driving home tonite from the Antigone Rising & John Butler Trio concert in Boston there was a beautiful full moon; now that explains the birtday calamity. But tonite made up for it. We had a great time, was so fun. Luke's first concert and as for me I can't remember my last, yes I can it was Bonnie Raitt before Luke was born so about 13 yrs. ago. Then we went to the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner. In the bathroom there was a picture of this guru guy smiling in orange robes that I recognized but couldn't remember his name. The quote under his picture read...
Living is lost in dreaming.
Dreaming is lost in becoming.
The birthday queen was a tad disappointed with her birthday yesterday. I was attacked by a swarm of yellowjackets( man I was right being deathly afraid of bees all my life - did a great job avoiding them til last year when i was stung for the first time) They actually reduced me to a crying blubbering mess that had to be consoled and administered to by my sweet wonderful 11 yr. old boy(he got the ice pack for me). Almost didn't go out to dinner because the 2 Benadryl i took to bring the swelling down almost brought me down.
Then it was like suppose you have a party and no one came. I didn't think anyone read my post but then i found out that 2 old friends did- they just didn't comment. Well there's always next year.
It was just brought to my attention that Madonna, a famous Leo with whom I share a birthday, fell off her horse yesterday and broke her arm. Makes you believe in astrology.
This could be a new meme (The Birthday Meme): My spin on Patry's FIVE THINGS TO DO ON YOUR BIRTHDAY 1. Ok let's face it I'm selfish - I buy myself a present - sometimes more than one. This is a great excuse to buy something you normally wouldn't. And this year I did it up big, i bought myself an Apple ibook laptop ( not to be used by the kids - hopefully) and I can blog at the beach, blog in the car, blog on vaca, blog at baseball and football practice. Blog on the go.
2. Eat cake !! and have seconds if you want, with ice cream!
3. Patry says,"Ask yourself where you came from and where you're going. If the answer is, "I don't know," spoken with marvel and wonder, you're on the right track." Well I have been asking myself this one for a long time and I still haven't got a clue ( i was happy to find out though that this is evidently a good thing and that i'm on the right track - hooray!)
4. Patry says," Thank your mother. Chances are the occasion you're celebrating was a pretty arduous day for her."
Since I can't thank mom or dad anymore I guess I'll have to thank that higher power. Maybe he'll pass it on along to them for me.
5. Do whatever makes you happy! Dance in yr. b-day suit. Drink champagne for breakfast. Celebrate all day, all week, all month if you can get away with it. I'm gonna try.
even if just for a little while. Went to the Vineyard (Martha's ) for 2 days. It was a little bit of heaven, except for the tourists. I kept trying to pretend they just weren't there, on my Island. I was so glad when Luke liked it as much as me. I lived there 20 yrs. ago and hadn't been there in 10! and we only live 2 hrs. away(I hour drive to the ferry(45 min ferry ride). Of course it takes a little longer in summer, you have to park yr. car in the next town and take a shuttle to the boat; but it's well worth the trip to the Storybook Island. I always feel like i've left my worries behind when I step onto that Island. 
Took Luke & Elizabeth (my friends daughter-who he's been friends with since age 3) to the beach for a late afternoon swim with Jackson. We forgot to bring the long rope that we tie him up to the car with since dogs can't be loose at the beach. So we were forced to hold him on his leash the whole time. Not an easy task. Labs are pure muscle. The kids played with the dog in the water and I tried to keep him from chasing all the throngs of birds that were flying in cool formation over the water. a few minutes later dark clouds formed and it started raining. I guess those birds know there stuff.
Literary vs Personal. I thought I liked the literary ones but turns out the just plan personal ones are more upfront, funny and just plain better. The literary ones tend to be hibrow and boring and oh so self important. The real ones are insightful, thought-provoking, mood-elevating, inspiring, and just damn better.
Developing a bad habit of staying up too late ,workin on posts or reading other peoples blogs. Addictive,just one more blog, one more dance. anyone else have this problem?
well this disco dancer is too tired to blog tonite.
I've been cheating here lately and just posting old drafts, so here is another one since I am too lazy to finish my vaca post with pictures. But I really don't like the fact that they are not in real time or do not reflect what I am currently thinking about. I am going to try and post not draft in the future. I will have to duke it out with the editor of course.
Jeanette shared her birth story awhile back so I am copycat blogging. I too had an epidurial but I knew I wanted one before I stepped through the door of the hospital. I almost said Epidural when they asked me my name. I have a very low pain threshold ; I never even tolerated menstual cramps very well. My water broke 1st thing before any contractions ;because I was a high risk pregnancy and lived an hr. away from the hospital, we were told to come right in. We were told that we could go to the cafeteria ( but just have a drink or jello). I realized right away that wasn't a good idea. I wanted my room and my bed and I wanted it now. I didn't want to be whimpering and cryin out in the hallways. But getting into my room didn't improve things all that measurably until I got "The Epidural". I was so glad to be pain free that I almost sent my husband out for some bubbly. I had brought music tapes but we never got as far as the mood music. They were now instructing me on pushing this baby out. Only problem was I felt like I was pushing with my shoulders cause I couldn't feel a damn thing below my waist(below my neck, actually). Push what?! So there was the crown of his head and we were not going anywhere. So next thing I knew they're turning the epidural off and I am now in stage 4 or something and the pain is unbelievable. And breathe, forget that, I'm hyperventilating at this point. And my nice nurse had gone off duty and this bitch from hell was not happy with me one bit. I wanted to rip her head off if she told me one more time that I was wasting energy crying/screaming. So there is still no progress and now its been 24 hrs and they are starting to get worried(actually I just think the dr. wanted to go home, cause he went from nice to mean). So now we are moving from the birth/delivery room to a operating room ( just in case they have to do an emergency c-sec.) But first they are trying forceps. Things are getting scary now. So back on goes the Epidural and on the 2nd try they get him out. I am a shaking blubbering mess when they hand me the baby. I will spare you the details on my not an episiotomy.Well I am tired just from reading this, I can't believe I ever actually did it.
..fore I die ( sounds like a Bob Dylan song.) It's times like these I don't like being a mother.... when I'm sick I don't want to be the mom. I just want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head. I wish for the single days when at least if you felt like crap you could just read magazines to take your mind off of how bad you feel. But no matter how bad you feel, (and i felt bad today- let's put it this way if someone would've offered to remove my arm I would've let them), you still have to make dinner or in this case drive to baseball(the driving is the easy part, the hard part is standing around talking to the other parents).
I had another corisone injection in my shoulder and also one in my elbow -that one hurt like hell. Then my arm felt about 100 times worse and I thought,"what the hell did I do that for?" but thankfully it was better the next day. Now I am just praying that it doesn't wear off in 6 wks like last time.( This arm thing has been going on since April). Anyone out there with a nice recovery story from bursitis in the shoulder and tendonitis in the elbow, that will give me some hope?
